Chapter 16
Sixteen
L eslie
It had been a whirlwind day, the kind Leslie was going to have to get used to.
The network needed him to fly out to Dallas for this interview and he agreed to do commentary for one last game before diving into his season with the Jackets, which started next week.
By the time the game had wrapped, he was ready to crash, but he had been dying to find out how practice had gone that day.
He texted Joe as soon as he got into his hotel room and then set his phone down while he struggled with his tie and buttons.
He had just pulled off his dress shirt when his phone started rattling and jumping on the glass-topped table.
He dove for it to find Joe calling. On FaceTime?
He clicked accept and nearly dropped it when he found Randy’s face on the screen.
“What the hell are you doing with Joe’s phone? Am I going to hate the answer?”
Randy held up his hand. “Now, it’s not my fault that he doesn’t have proper security on his phone, which he left in my capable hands while he plays pool against Sandy.”
“God, I hope there was no betting. I’m guessing you didn’t tell him your brother has a reputation as a pool hustler?”
“Noooot really, no I didn’t, but we didn’t bet money. I bet him he has to let me take his Bronco off-roading if he loses.”
“Absolutely not. Is he available to talk?”
Randy put his hand over the phone like it was a regular call and shouted over the din of what Leslie assumed was the Goalpost, and then laughed.
“He said he can’t talk now, he’s gotta concentrate on beating Sandy. He’s actually doing really well. Hey, how’s Dallas?”
“Hot. I’m glad this is my last network event for a while. How did practice go?”
“Brutal,” Randy said, shuddering.
“What do you mean brutal? Is Joe okay?”
“Oh, he’s fine. Your offensive line is going to be crying tomorrow and a few of the guys landed on their heads trying to do flips, but otherwise it was awesome. Joe’s amazing, Brother Leslie.”
Leslie sighed. “Yes, he is.”
“Hey, listen, we came up with a little fundraising event plan and I thought you’d probably want to approve it.”
“Hit me.”
“A jogathon. All athletes together. They all get their own pledge sheets and then whatever they raise goes on their team’s leaderboard.”
“Sounds good. Joe agree?”
Randy grinned. “It was his idea.”
Leslie laughed. “I never thought he’d get into it this much.”
“Oh, he’s into it. He ever gives up this Twinkle Toes shit he’d make a helluva football coach.”
“I’m sure he would. May I speak to him now, please?”
“I mean, I’ll try, but he’s pretty into his game here. And that kid Terrell? Man, you missed out persuading him to join the team. Sounds like he was done dirty by his team in high school and now he wants to dance? That’s pretty cool Joe and Marti stayed friends all these years. Did you know— ”
“Randy. The phone?”
“Oh, right. And don’t worry, Brother Barry is our designated driver. He’s coming in a little while to pick us up. You were great tonight, by the way. I think Joe thought so too. He was real quiet when you talked.”
“Stop it. Give him the phone.”
“So pushy. Gosh.”
Yeah, Randy totally regressed when he’d been drinking and judging by his current slurred speech, he’d had at least a couple of drinks. The screen got all shaky while he walked across the bar and Leslie could hear shouts and laughter.
“Here he is. I told him you were playing. He’s your problem now.” The screen went all wonky and then Joe’s smiling face appeared.
“I was just about to make Sandy wish he’d never messed with Twinkle Toes. How are you? You were great tonight.”
“Hey.” Leslie melted into the chair in his hotel room and sighed. “It’s good to hear your voice. And see you, although, you’ve got company.”
Sandy was behind Joe, jumping up and down trying to wave to Leslie. Joe turned around and laughed and then walked outside the bar.
“There, is that better?” he asked.
“Hi.”
“Hi.”
They grinned at each other like a couple of lovestruck teenagers.
“So, the last show, huh? Are you going to miss the network?” Joe asked him.
Leslie exhaled and rubbed his forehead. “Yes and no. I like being connected with the league still, but no, I’m happy with my little team.
I have a lot of work to do with them. It’s not going to be a picnic.
I can’t keep on gallivanting off to Dallas or LA or New York in the middle of football season. ”
“Hmmm, but maybe you could gallivant with me next month to LA?”
Leslie sat up straighter. “With you? To LA?”
Joe grinned. He looked around. “They need me for a Dance Machine special live performance. We have a bye week so I thought maybe, if you weren’t busy— ”
“ God yes, I’d love to come with you.”
“Good. Great. It’s a date.”
Leslie had a herd of wild horses running through his chest. “Are we doing this? Joe?”
Joe bit down on his lip and grinned. “Let’s do this. I mean, we can’t do this, like, at Greenvale, but like I want to do this. Let’s do this.”
All this talk of doing this had Leslie’s slacks feeling snug, but also his chest was so full, he was ready to make declarations, which was a bad idea while Joe was likely tipsy in the Goalpost parking lot with Leslie’s creepy brothers lurking nearby.
There was some commotion behind Joe and the screen went black but he could still hear him.
“Yeah, I’m going to take off. Thanks for the drinks.
No, thanks. I walked up here. I’m going to walk back.
No, I don’t need an escort. Goodnight.” The sound of footfalls and the phone scratching against the material in Joe’s pocket.
Joe singing to himself. Then he pulled the phone out.
“Oh, you’re still there. Good. You can talk to me while I walk home like a responsible little faculty member.
Geez, I can’t believe I was out drinking on a school night. What would your brother say?”
“That you should not be hanging out with the youngest Payton brothers if you don’t want to do foolish things?”
Joe smiled and looked around him in the bar’s parking lot. “I’m just going to stay here for a minute and talk to you. I want to see you and I don’t want to trip and fall if I’m watching you and walking while tipsy.”
Leslie really liked his profile from this angle. It was still dimly lit outside at nine o’clock and the streetlights illuminated his face. He smiled into the phone and Leslie was glad he had this moment, this connection with him. Joe’s smiles were infrequent and Leslie cherished every one of them.
“Yeah. I only had two beers but I’m a lightweight. And your brothers are kinda sweet. Like, they were trying to look out for you without being obvious but being totally obvious that’s what they’re doing.”
“What did they do now?” Leslie groaned. Was he going to have to forbid them from talking to Joe? Most of the time they meant well but they were loose cannons…without alcohol.
“Nothing bad, I promise. But, if I listened to them, I might think you were kind of sweet on me.”
Joe glanced down at the screen for a few beats, and Leslie saw that vulnerability he craved, when the dancer, the reluctant “out” spokesperson in his field who put up that wall to keep anything from possibly hurting him allowed Leslie to gaze inside at the beautiful man behind the anger.
“You know I am, Joe. I have been for fifteen years. Since that night in the Goalpost parking lot, right where you’re standing. All of these years, all of our texts, phone calls… Yeah, I think sweet on you is an understatement, but it’s a factual statement.”
Joe covered his mouth with his hand, but his eyes crinkled at the corners.
“You’re making me blush, Leslie.”
“Good,” Leslie said, chuckling. “I like you blushing.”
“I like you, ” Joe murmured. “You have no idea how many times you reaching out was exactly what I needed to get me out of my head, out of my… You were there for me so many times, whether you knew it or not. I always knew I could show you the shitty side of my life. I didn’t have to be perky or perfect with you. ”
That confirmed one of Leslie’s theories, that the pressure put on Joe as a part of Dance Machine was more than he let on.
“You can tell me anything, Joe. You know that. Don’t you know I get it?
I know our lives have seemed different, but are they really?
We’re both under a microscope all the time, everyone watching, waiting for us to make a misstep and be the one to screw it up for other out athletes and artists.
” They’d both been in a place where people were okay knowing they were gay as long as it wasn’t in their faces.
His crush on Joe had been safe in a lot of ways.
“I know you get it. But, Leslie? Why do we only do this over the phone?”
“That’s a good question,” Leslie said, hoping Joe would fill in the blank.
“It is a good question. I guess my not-so-good answer is that I needed you, needed our connection, and I was terrified of what would happen if my lifeline was gone, if you decided you were done listening to my bullshit, tired of a long-distance whatever the fuck we’re doing.
” Joe laughed and ran his hand through his wavy hair.
“I don’t know what I would do without you in my life, Leslie Payton, and I’m terrified I’ll fuck it up face-to-face. ”
The air left Leslie’s lungs. Joe had never been this open with him. He wasn’t telling Leslie anything he hadn’t thought was probably true, but he’d never said it, not this boldly.
“I hate it that you feel that way, but I’m glad to hear you say it. I always worried you didn’t…that it wouldn’t be a big deal if we drifted apart, you know? Like, one day you might change your number, tell me you’d…found someone.”
Joe shook his head vigorously. “No, Les. No. It’s always been you. It was only ever going to be you.” His eyes widened. “God, Leslie, say something. I can’t believe I’m telling you all of this standing alone in a damn parking lot while you’re thousands of miles away.”