Chapter 25
Twenty-Five
J oe
“Is Coach Payton your boyfriend?”
“How long have you two been—”
“Are you two like—”
“Does President Payton know?”
Joe allowed a few questions and then he held up a hand.
“If you’ll all calm down and get your shorts out of your ass and hang on.
” Everyone laughed, but they continued to bounce up and down as if they were waiting for confirmation that Santa Claus had come.
“Yes, Coach Payton is my boyfriend,” he said and he winked at Leslie.
“We’ve only just made it official but it’s been going on for a loooong time, and yes we’re in love.
” He turned to Leslie. “Does your brother know?”
“He does,” Leslie said.
“There. Happy?”
A chorus of cheers rang out in the echoey room and hugs went all around.
“I knew it,” Terrell said, smacking his leg and shaking his head. Apparently, Marti hadn’t told him, which was probably for the best.
“This is almost better than winning,” Sidney squealed. “Almost.”
Everyone laughed and then tried to catch their breath.
“Does this mean you’re staying?” Terrell asked. “Are you guys, like, getting married?”
Joe glanced at Leslie and let out a nervous laugh. Why did he have to get asked that right now when he’d been dodging texts from Arthur all day?
Leslie’s cheeks were red but he seemed to be just as invested as the kids in Joe’s answer.
“Um, there’s a lot going on, so, I can’t really say about next year, yet. I don’t even know if they want me back next year, and I’m still working out some situations, but now we focus on Nationals, right? Go Jackets.” He pumped a fist and the gesture fell flat.
Wow, that was such a mature way of saying, “I don’t know.”
The kids’ smiles faded a bit, as if someone just told them “Santa already came” and they realized they didn’t get what they’d asked for.
“The bus is here,” Marti said, placing a hand on his back. “Okay, everyone, make sure you’ve got all of your stuff and let’s go.”
The kids chattered excitedly as they headed out to the bus.
“I’m glad you made it,” Joe said as he hugged Marti. “I’m glad Terrell could be here. He doing okay?”
“Prognosis is good. You guys be safe. I’ll see you Monday,” she said.
Leslie walked behind him, and when Joe snuck a glance, he saw that Leslie was arguing with Sandy. Leslie made eye contact and Joe’s stomach crashed to the ground like a fallen flyer missed by spotters.
Shit.
Joe had a lot to explain to Leslie. He’d been asked to fly out two more times for Dance Machine live shows, the Dance Machine producers wanted an answer on the national tour, and there was the audition for Kinky Boots .
If Joe hadn’t taken the position at Greenvale, he could have done them all, no question.
Okay, maybe not both the Broadway show and the traveling Dance Machine tour…
Arthur was great at making things work, and he would since Joe was committed here through May.
But Joe had wanted to talk to Barry ab out next year before he made any decisions and there hadn’t been time.
The last of the kids hopped on the bus and Joe turned to see Leslie say one more heated statement to Sandy before he walked over, his forehead creased, his heavy brows low.
Joe waved to Sandy, who nodded, gave a half-hearted wave, and then he headed toward his Jeep.
“Ready for your thrilling and luxurious bus ride home?” he asked Leslie. All he wanted to do was curl up in a seat together, no longer required to keep his hands to himself. He was so grateful Leslie had been by his side when his team won. He couldn’t wait until they could celebrate together.
Leslie paused a few steps from Joe. “What was all that?”
Joe blinked. No, they couldn't do this now. Not when they had a two-hour drive ahead of them.
“All what? I was kind of running on adrenaline.”
“Next year, Joe. What was that?”
Joe stood a little taller. “The truth, as much as I can say right now. I’m a temporary employee, Leslie. I’m not on the tenure track or anything. I don’t even know if I’ll be offered a contract again—”
“You’re still not sure about this. About us.”
“Leslie! How could you think that? I love you.” And he did, with all his heart, and he was determined to make it all work: Leslie, the shows, everything…somehow. But he knew Leslie had a different future in mind.
Leslie nodded and gave Joe a half smile as he climbed onto the bus.
Joe climbed on behind him and had hoped Leslie would sit next to him, but he sat on the aisle like he had the last time with his body turned away, facing the window.
His body language read, “leave me alone.”
Joe sat in the seats where he’d been before and blew out a breath.
The driver asked if they were all set and Joe told him they were ready to go.
The bus pulled away from the convention center as rain started to pelt the windows.
It had been a clear morning, but the clouds had moved in during the day and the chill had Joe pulling his coach’s jacket tighter around him.
Leslie closed his eyes and Joe noticed him squeezing the spot between his thumb and index finger.
“You okay, babe? You need me to—”
“I’m fine. I’m just going to rest my eyes.”
There was no invitation, no welcoming smile.
“Let me know if there’s anything I can do.”
Leslie nodded and closed his eyes, resting his head against the seat back.
The bus ride was the longest two hours of Joe’s life.
He debated with himself what he should say, how he could fix this. But then what was he supposed to do?
You committed to Leslie, that meant to him that you were going to be here.
Even if you weren’t hired back by the college for some reason, he wants you with him.
You could still dance, you could commute back and forth to LA.
But if the college doesn’t hire you back, what happens when the dancing dries up?
Where will you work? What will you do? You can’t exactly let Leslie take care of you financially.
That’s not how it is between you, and you certainly haven’t put away enough of a nest egg to retire at thirty-six.
At least if you lived back in Hollywood there are studios, choreography jobs…
But you want Leslie. You belong with Leslie. Somehow, you’ve gotta make this work.
The noise in Joe’s head was so loud it drowned out the noise from the kids and he didn’t realize they were calling his name. He turned around in his seat and they waved him over. Leslie was asleep so he shushed them as he scooted down the aisle to where his hype squad was sitting.
“So tell us more about Nationals.”
Joe smiled. “Nationals are in Ypsilanti, Michigan in March. We’ll be competing against the finalists from all of the NAIA conferences.”
“Michigan? In March? I thought it was in Florida and we were going to get to soak up the rays!”
Joe smiled. “Florida is UCA championships, and they’re in January.
We’d be competing against NCAA teams if we went there.
Unfortunately, Greenvale has only been competing in NAIA for the past ten years and there aren’t enough funds for us to go to both competitions.
Plus we need to get permission from the administration. ”
“But all the fundraising? Didn’t we raise like a shit-ton of money?” Gino asked. “No offense?”
“Yeah, we did, but some of that money is going to replace the fitness center equipment. We’ve raised enough to meet our goal, but I still want to beat football.
” Joe grinned. “If we win Nationals, that will make a big difference for next year. The team will be able to request that they participate in both competitions.”
David, Ivan, and Gino stroked their nonexistent goatees. Joe’s rules meant a clean-shaven squad.
“So you’re saying if we work hard enough, next year we can escape the Midwest chill in January and compete in Florida?”
Joe barked out a laugh. “Sure, it’s possible.”
“And you’ll get us there, right?”
All three young men leaned in, waiting for an answer.
“I’d like to. I’m going to be submitting my plans to the president for the dance degree program next week and we’ll see. If they like it, maybe they’ll keep me around. But you guys have me for this year. We’ll go to Nationals and we’ll crush it.”
He put out his fist and the guys fist-bumped him.
“And we’ve got basketball season, right?”
“Right,” Joe said, pleased his three conscripts were so enthused. They kept their heads together brainstorming actions for basketball season and soon the bus was turning into the Athletic Center parking lot.
“Clean up your messes,” Joe said, springing into action. He hurried to Les’s side and gently nudged him.
“We’re back, babe.”
Leslie’s eyes fluttered open and he winced at the light.
“Migraine?” he asked.
Leslie nodded and Joe went down the steps in front of him to support him if he needed it.
“Thanks,” he said once they reached the lot.
“Let me send these kids back to their dorms and I’ll drive you home. ”
“No, Joe. I’m fine.”
“Leslie, please. Wait a few minutes?”
Leslie sighed and Joe did a once-over of the bus, picking up a couple of stray wrappers but otherwise proud of the kids for being neat.
When he got back, Leslie was waving goodbye to the last of the kids. It was chilly but not raining yet.
“Leslie, what happened?”
“What did you hear from your agent?”
Joe shifted his weight. How could he bring the opportunities up without Leslie panicking? And was that even his job? To protect Leslie’s feelings? He’d been honest. The whole time.
“ Dance Machine wants me to headline a national tour next summer. Ten cities in five weeks. I just got the details today. Rehearsals would start end of May. I’d be done end of July.”
Leslie nodded. “For the summer then.” He planted his hands on his hips. “You sure you’ll be okay? With your hip?”
“I think so.” He needed to go all in. “They also need me for two more weekends for live shows. And the director I worked with for West Side Story wants me to audition for a principal in Kinky Boots . That would start rehearsing in August.”
Leslie let his gaze drop to the ground in front of him. “You want to go.”
“I want to work, yes. Barry can’t give me a for sure on next year yet, not until after my evaluations at the semester and the budget.
Leslie, I have to work. I want to work.” He stepped closer but was afraid to touch Leslie.
Afraid of how he might react. He couldn’t take a physical rejection from Leslie, not now.
Leslie didn’t speak for several beats and then he exhaled harshly. “I wish I was enough for you.”
“ What ? Leslie, are you kidding me? You’re everything to me. How could you say that?”
“I worried you’d have one foot out the door the whole time you were here. Were you ever planning to stay? Or did you just say that to placate me?”
“That’s not fair and you know it! Leslie, you’ve reached the pinnacle of success in your sport. You won multiple Super Bowls, for god’s sake. You’ve achieved everything that a football player could ever dream of. I haven’t done that.”
“And look where it got me,” Leslie said, raising his voice for the first time in Joe’s presence.
Joe stepped back, a shudder running through him. He’d never seen Leslie angry, not like this.
Leslie’s eyes flared at Joe’s retreat, and he cursed.
“I’m sorry. But if you weren’t planning on staying, I wish you never would have come.”
He stumbled a bit and then he turned and walked away, leaving Joe dumbfounded.
“Leslie! How can you…Leslie?”
Sandy pulled up and Leslie climbed into the Jeep, leaving Joe standing there. In shock.
What had just happened? Leslie hadn’t seemed himself, but the hurt in his words had come through loud and clear.
Leslie had never walked away from Joe. But then maybe this was what Joe deserved for all the times he’d run from the person he loved most in the world.
Joe felt the first few drops of rain slap his cheek. As the taillights of the Jeep turned out of sight, he started walking back to Higdon.
By the time he reached the dorm, he was soaked to the bone.