Chapter 29 #2
Joe felt himself levitating and he thought maybe he’d died and gone to heaven. That would explain everything.
“Here, rest your head.”
Leslie had somehow maneuvered them onto a wide lounge chair contraption and Joe was now curled against him, weeping.
“I am a weepy drunk, I admit it. I’m sorry. But it’s your fault for being so perfect, too.”
“Stop it,” Leslie said, pressing a kiss against Joe’s forehead. “I’m far from perfect. Let me hold you, Joe. I’m so sorry. For everything. I’ve missed you so much.”
Joe wanted to beat on his chest and rage about their separation, but he knew it was the champagne. Damn, that had been a bad idea.
“You’re awfully sweet when you’re tipsy, Twinkle Toes.”
“You better always call me Twinkle Toes,” Joe said.
And shortly after that, while Leslie was in the middle of telling him something important, Joe fell asleep.
Joe didn’t remember setting his alarm before falling asleep the night before. He didn’t remember falling asleep. And his face was hot. And it was bright.
He covered his face with a hand and opened one eye to find Leslie’s sleeping face next to his. Then it all came back in a rush. The twins acting weird, the abduction, the limo, laughing Agnes and her delicious champagne—
“No, no, no, no, not champagne,” Joe moaned. He rolled over onto his back and threw his arm over his face. The sun felt so good.
“Good morning, Twinkle Toes. Or should I change it to Tipsy Toes?”
“God, no. Champagne is like truth serum or something, it makes me a wreck. But it’s so good.” He looked around, squinting in the sunlight and then looked down at himself. “Where’d this suit come from? And damn, did you pick it out? If so, you’re shopping for me forever.”
Leslie pushed himself up to sitting and smiled at Joe. “I liked shopping for you. I’ll shop for you anytime. And here,” he said, reaching over to a table next to their ridiculously large lounge chair and handing Joe a green smoothie in a pineapple-shaped glass with a little umbrella.
Joe gasped. “How did you find out?”
Leslie frowned. “Find out what?”
Joe took the drink from him and sucked down a few gulps. His eyes rolled back in his head. “How did you find out about my morning smoothies?”
Leslie’s eyes went wide. “You mean, I now know your secret? ”
Joe just blinked at him and hoped the goodness in the glass would clear up the rest of his foggy brain.
“This is what my nutritionist said I should be drinking first thing in the morning. I’m on a new eating regimen to help with my migraines.”
Joe lowered the glass and put a hand over Leslie’s. “I’m so glad. I wanted to bring it up, that food changes could really help, but I didn’t want to be that douche.”
Leslie laughed and Joe’s eyes caught on the freckled skin of his chest peeking out from between the two sides of his unbuttoned dress shirt. He took a good long look at Leslie Payton lounging on the beach in a gorgeous black suit made from material as soft as butter, the same material as his.
“Did we get married last night?”
Leslie burst out laughing again. “Not that I recall.” He took Joe’s drink from him and pulled him into his arms for a long, lingering kiss.
Joe tangled their legs together and moaned. He yanked at Leslie’s shirt until it was untucked and he could get access to Leslie’s skin. He needed to be sure this was real. Joe scratched his nails down Leslie’s torso and Les arched into him and groaned.
“Joe,” Leslie sighed as Joe kissed his neck. Joe had learned early on that Leslie was like putty in his hands when he went to work on his neck. “Joe, can we…I want to tell you, I want a chance to explain.”
Joe pulled back and reluctantly let go. He sat up straight with his legs crisscrossed. It was time to be grown up.
“I have things to say too.”
Leslie pushed himself up to sitting and he raised the back of the chair. He stretched his legs out and stared at the ocean.
“When my father died, the autopsy showed that the multitude of concussions he’d received throughout his career had done irreparable damage. Chronic Traumatic Encephalopathy they call it, do you know what that is?”
Joe nodded. “I read the Rolling Stone article when it came out. I’m so sorry.”
“The death certificate said complications from CTE. It made him a violent, confused, and terrified man at the end of his life. When I retired from the NFL, it was because I’d had a concussion, probably I’ve had five or six significant ones in my life, and I started having the migraines.
My personal physician strongly encouraged me to retire, especially after what happened to my father, so I did.
I probably could have had a few more years to play, but it wasn’t worth it.
My family was grateful. They’d been watching me and they let me know they had concerns.
I’d been forgetting things a little, I couldn’t seem to keep track of appointments, I forgot my mom’s birthday.
How much was stress, how much was my brain injuries, I don’t know. So I retired.”
Joe reached out and took Leslie’s hand. He’d always wondered why Leslie had stepped away from the sport he loved. They had only just started to share personal information at that point in their unconventional friendship.
“And then the migraines got worse. I had a bunch of tests run, tried some different medications, but it made things very difficult while I was coaching at UKC. Sandy helped me as much as he could, came up with the voice memo reminders system on my phone, which became the twins’ second business.
It was the first app they created and it made them a million bucks when they sold it.
Sandy nominated himself as my personal assistant and thank God he did.
You can thank him for a lot of the little things I did for you over the years.
They were my ideas, but he helped make them a reality when I couldn’t. ”
Joe laughed. “Does that mean I am really dating your brother?”
Leslie rolled his eyes. “Stop it. You know better.”
Joe smiled, but it faded.
“Why didn’t you tell me, Leslie? Me, of all people. I thought…How could you think I wouldn’t understand?”
“Because I was afraid—am afraid—I’ll be like my father. The doctors are confident there are things we can do to help, but I wanted time with you before I lost my fucking mind.”
Joe raised his eyebrows. “How was that going to work, exactly? One day you’d wake up and forget something and I’d be like ‘I’m out of here’? Leslie—”
“I don’t know,” he laughed but it was hollow. “I don’t ever want you to have to take care of me, but I guess I wasn’t thinking you might actually want to stay.”
Joe looked at their joined hands. “You wanted me with you, wanted a future together, but you weren’t thinking ‘til death do us part,’ huh?
” Leslie started to protest, but Joe held up his hand.
“I get it, I do. And I never gave you a reason to think I was in it for the long haul. But I am, Leslie. I don’t know how to make you see that.
I have to travel for work sometimes, but I’m always going to be yours.
I have to know that you’ll trust me to come back.
” He swallowed hard. “Otherwise, I don’t know why you brought me here.
If you don’t trust me, Leslie, then we need to walk away. ”