Chapter 7
STUCK IN THE MIDLIFE WITH YOU
Laura
Laura smiles after her comment that Aidan thinks her decision to go to university is part of a midlife crisis.
She smiles because it’s easier to make it look as if she can totally understand why he would find her return to education amusing, instead of having to admit out loud that she really wishes he could fully understand how important it is to her.
It’s just not a notion or a whim. It’s something she feels incredibly passionate about.
It feels like she’s finally found the thing in life she was always meant to invest her time and energy in.
Yes, she has enjoyed her various jobs over the years.
She has loved being a mother to Robyn and has found it incredibly rewarding.
But this? Examining the cultures of other women and exploring the female place in the world feeds her soul.
Being here, in the university, getting her student ID card, walking into a lecture theatre for a welcome meeting – it all feels incredibly thrilling.
Knowing there are people around her who feel the same fire for this subject is so exciting.
She wants to sit and talk to them all. She longs to debate and discuss.
She wants to learn. Yes, Laura O’Kane wants to learn in a way she just wasn’t ready for back when she was sixteen or seventeen.
She wants to savour it – drink in all that fabulous knowledge just waiting for her.
She hasn’t felt this fired up about anything in years.
Now that she is all signed up and given her ID, her timetable and a reading list, she feels like she just wants to get started. Damn them for having registration on a Friday and leaving her to wait a full weekend before she can actually walk into a classroom and enjoy an actual lecture.
She can’t wait to fill Aidan in on how it has gone.
It being a Friday, Laura wonders if maybe they could even go out for a bite to eat later, maybe even have a drink or two.
It’s a celebration after all, isn’t it? And it has been forever since they went out together, just the two of them.
Before she leaves the campus she drops her husband a text suggesting she make a booking.
It’s still early enough that she would have more than enough time to drive home, get a nap to catch up on her lack of sleep from last night, and grab a shower, or better still a long, luxurious soak in the bath.
She could even put on a nice dress and take the time to do her hair and make-up and really make an effort.
Robyn can be bribed with money to order a pizza and permission to maybe invite one of her friends over.
Or better still, her beloved daughter can go and stay at one of her friends’ houses and Laura and Aidan can come home to an empty house.
It’s been a long time since they had time that was guaranteed to be free from interruptions. Life has been so busy and so complicated, and they’ve both been so tired…
No, she thinks, she will not focus on how things have been but instead on how they might be going forward. The past is over and done with.
She just has to wait until Aidan replies so she knows whether or not he’s all in for her romantic plans.
She’s sure he will be. Aidan O’Kane has never been a man to turn down the chance at a nice meal and a nicer bottle of wine.
Thinking it’s as much of a sure thing as it can possibly be, Laura heads for home ready to indulge in some first-class pampering.
Her mood doesn’t dull when she gets home and finds that this morning’s breakfast dishes are still on the kitchen island and not in the dishwasher where they should be.
She doesn’t even tense up when she finds the blinds and curtains still drawn in the living room – ‘like a wake house’ as her mother would say.
It only takes her a few seconds to open them, then a few more to right the cushions on the sofa and lift the wine glass Aidan left on the side table last night.
It’s not a big deal, she tells herself, even though the phrase ‘weaponised incompetence’ is starting to swirl around her head.
But does she really want to make a fuss about a wine glass and in doing so probably ruin what could be a lovely evening?
No. She does not. She offers up to the holy souls, which is exactly what Kitty would tell her to do.
Even though Kitty O’Hagan was not a big believer in God, she definitely had a soft spot for the souls of the dearly departed.
So much so she decided to become one, Laura thinks wryly, knowing her mother would approve of her dark sense of humour.
Laura has learned the importance of picking your battles and this is not one that requires her immediate attention.
She has a bigger desire to celebrate this momentous step she has taken towards her dreams and she really wants to share that moment with Aidan.
They deserve to treat themselves. She hovers around the kitchen, tidying away the bits and pieces her husband and daughter seem blind to.
There is still no response, so she busies herself with more cleaning – changing the bedsheets on their bed and putting on a wash.
She picks up the socks Aidan has left discarded on their bedroom floor and throws them in the laundry hamper, before dusting the room, running the hoover across the floor and spritzing the air with one of her favourite room sprays from Rituals.
They’re a bit past the stage of lighting candles and setting the scene for a romantic night for two but a clean, fresh room helps her relax a little.
Aidan has still not replied.
He has not messaged to ask how she got on at registration, or called to see how her nerves were holding up.
He is probably completely floored with work.
She understands that – although Fridays at the conveyancing firm where he works tend to be more relaxed and often end in an early-doors rush to the pub for ‘just the one’.
Pushing any niggling doubts aside, Laura decides she will proceed as if their plans are going ahead, and she takes the chance to choose a nice dress to wear and lay out her outfit on top of their bed before luxuriating under the pulsing streams of a hot shower for a good twenty minutes, exfoliating every inch of her skin before slathering on her richest body butter so that she feels and smells magnificent.
It has now passed five and there is still no word from her husband, or her daughter for that matter, and she’s starting to think that even if he were to message back now, the chance of getting a reservation somewhere for dinner tonight is going to be slim to none.
The dress lying on top of their bed now seems to be giving her a look that screams of shrugged shoulders and ‘I don’t think this is happening, babes’, and she’s starting to agree.
Looking at the delicate, lacy underwear she had laid out too, she starts to think that it would just be very uncomfortable anyway and she’d much prefer the feeling of M&S’s finest cotton bra and full brief knickers over a scratchy lace thong.
She does not enjoy thongs. Fails to see the appeal of feeling like you have a permanent wedgy. Long live the VPL.