Chapter 7
Seven
Patrick
I tossed and turned in bed last night, going back and forth on who the man hiding behind the name Sheep Finder was.
Could it really be him? It’s too good to be true, especially for someone like me.
I was surrounded by men back in the city and had way more misses than hits.
What would be the chances I’d come to bum fuck Missouri and find love with the only guy for miles who keeps telling me how bad a farmer I am. Wait…did I seriously say love?
Although weirder shit has happened to me, and I do often feel like I’m a test subject for the universe.
Can the moody neighbor with looks that could kill fall for the squirrel-brained hopeless mess?
Not that it’s not a perfect setup for opposites attract coupling.
Nah, it’s not him. Absolutely not. A deep-down sensation is having a hard time letting the idea go, though.
I’m mean, sure we all want our lives to be like a Hallmark film—and I might have envisioned some bee farmer catching me when I slipped in cow shit on some random road—but I’m used to my life being based more on the show Survivor or Alone where I’m suffocated by burlap while trying to give the sheep some shade.
Or maybe I get drowned in my neighbor’s pond by some viewer who decides he really wants to be everywhere he thinks I need him?
Chills climb up the back of my neck and my cock jumps. Yeah, I need professional help. Too many mornings in the sun are getting to me. Okay, afternoons. Or maybe the soup in my brother’s house has gone bad, or I’m suffering from a sodium overdose.
I asked the man to watch me sleep. It’s one thing to pretend someone’s watching or to role play with a partner, but to actually ask a stranger to do it .
. . Warmth swarms in my belly when I hear the bushes shake behind me, as I fill the water buckets to kill some time before my neighbor comes over for our lesson.
If I ask him to show me another finger-sucking one, will he know what I’m talking about? Is he waiting for me to ask?
After weighing all the reasons it both could and couldn’t be him against each other, I unlink the water hose because it isn’t long enough.
Leaves crunch and I turn around, being met only with the dark.
The only light I have to work with is the small amount from my front porch and the fading moon.
He said six, and it’s only five. If I hadn’t stayed awake after opening my eyes too early, I would have overslept, and my brother really needs me to get this right.
This place means a lot to him. Being a farmer was his dream ever since we were kids. This also might be the only way I can keep him in my life if he doesn’t pull through.
A gust of wind sweeps through my hair, and rustling comes from behind me. More bushes shake the branches, and an apple crashes to the ground. As I turn back around to ignore the shadow I swear my exhausted mind is hallucinating, an apple rolls to my feet, hitting the back of my heel.
My pulse pounds in my ears as I bend down to pick it up, looking around me.
What if someone really did want to be everywhere I was, with or without telling me beforehand?
And what if I want them to be too. Excitement rolls through me, beautiful hints of fear licking at the back of my neck, sending me on an addictive high.
I don’t have to pretend I’m in danger this time, my intuition tells me I am, and so does the gooseflesh on my arms.
“Hello?”
Not so much as a chirp of a cricket accompanies my voice.
“Anyone there?” I speak again, this time more quietly.
Again nothing. I spin around, taking the hose with me and wetting my shoes, then I jump back, guiding the water back to the empty bucket. Leaving it there, I take a short walk to the spigot and shut off the water after waiting ten minutes.
Scratches on the windows have me looking around, but no one is near me. I walk around to the back and then back to the water buckets. “If someone’s there, you should say something and stop trying to give people heart attacks.”
A bug flies into my face and I swat it away, searching around me again when what sounds similar to heavy breathing hits my ears.
Closing my eyes, I go in the opposite direction, and the light panting follows me.
My legs move faster, and my walking turns into a sprint further away from the house.
I don’t know where I’m going but my body forces me this way, enjoying the chase too much.
I’ve never felt more alive, and when I glance at my watch, I have forty minutes until I’m supposed to meet my neighbor. My feet come to a halt and I lean forward, pressing my hands to my knees to catch my breath.
The soft panting has shifted to heavy breaths now and they sound only inches away instead of feet. The grouping of trees blocks a lot of the wooded area, and anyone could be behind me. Anyone.
Dizzy from exhilaration, I tug down my pants and underwear in one swoop.
Needing to touch myself, I slip my hand between my legs and jerk my cock.
Closing my eyes, I pretend I have a stalker and he’s standing behind me.
I don’t know if I’m imagining the hot puffs of air on my neck or if they’re really happening.
I go with the latter, pumping my hips and sliding a hand up my shirt to tug on one of my neglected nipples.
Balls drawing tight, my legs grow wobbly and I come with a grunt, tears rolling down my cheeks from the intensity.
“Fuck. I needed it so bad,” I whisper. “I really did.” I need something else too, but I’m not sure what.
Whispers in my ear that it’s okay for me to come when I need to?
To let go so I can feel better and free from all the what-ifs in my head?
What if I fuck everything up? What if I lean too much into what Sheep Finder is offering only for him to pull away?
What if my brother doesn’t come back home?
All those questions fade away more as I sink deeper into this wonderful euphoric feeling, losing myself in the trance my orgasm sent me into. I drag my body to the nearest tree and sit against it, closing my eyes until my mind’s no longer in an altered state.
When I stand up, I lose my balance at first, and hold on to a branch to steady myself, still feeling half trapped between earth and space. An engine roars close by, and I quickly pull up my clothes, checking over my appearance several times before walking closer to the approaching four-wheeler.
“There you are. I was looking for you in front of the house. I assumed that’s where we were meeting.”
I look behind me and then at him. “You mean you weren’t out here this whole time?”
“Why? Was I supposed to be?” He kills the engine and steps down to the ground. “Did you want me to be?” His voice shifts.
“Are you messing with me?” My face is hot and my vision isn’t a hundred percent clear yet.
“What do you mean? And no, I wasn’t out here.” His eyes lock on mine. “As far as I can see, you’ve been alone until now. Who knows why, though. It's not exactly safe to wander in the dark, you could get lost.”
“In my own back yard?”
“You don’t even recognize your own animals and you’ve wandered onto my property by accident more than once.”
“I thought you only recently got back or something.” I squint my eyes.
“It’s called a Ring camera.”
“So, you like watching everyone, then?”
“Not everyone.” He inches closer, touching my hair, and when he pulls back there’s a leaf resting between his fingers. “How’d that get in there?”
“How about we uh, get to those fence lessons?”
He purses his lips, tracing the new scrape on my arm from the tree bark. I never noticed it digging into my skin, too distracted from the daze I was in. And now I'm getting thrown off by the buzz his touch left behind.
“Yeah, sure. Take me to the energizer.”
He follows as I lead him closer to the house and the box that rests on a metal pike in the ground. After flipping it off, he checks the wires and fuses. “So, there may be metal touching metal somewhere. It has to be grounded.”
I’m the one doing the following after he flips the switch on, pulling a meter out of his pocket and checking the wires. “Yeah, it should be at a higher voltage than this.”
Cupping a hand to his ear, he leans down and walks along the fencing.
“What are we doing now?”
“Listening for a sparking sound and checking for anything hung up on the wires.”
Light flickers and he stops, his eyes lighting up as he drops to the ground. “Go turn the box off. I think we found our culprit.”
I hit the off switch, and when I come back, he’s tugging at a loose string. “One of the wires is broken. I’ll tie the two pieces together and we should be back in business. A sheet bend knot is best.”
“Okay, I’ll stand here and observe.”
“You sure you’re not the one who likes watching people?” He shoots me a grin.
“I’m sure.” Although, I don't mind looking at him while he's bending down with his jeans hugging his body.
Finishing up the demonstration, he places his hands on his thighs and straightens his stance. “Yeah, and that’s because you’re the type of person who likes to be seen. Don’t worry, Little Bo. I see you just fine.”
My heart jumps in my throat. “What did you say?”
“The fence should work just fine now. Go ahead and test it.”
I take out the meter my brother keeps by the front door and the lights don't light up for long and he snatches it from my hand, yanking the metal piece from the ground. “It does you no good having a broken meter. You can hold onto mine for me. We’ll need it later for more fence testing, so don’t lose it. ”
“Are you . . . Did you . . .” I stumble on my words and he cups my cheek.
“You’re looking very flushed. Go inside and cool down before finishing up your chores. It’s only going to get hotter.”
Turning around swiftly, he moves in quick strides back to his four-wheeler and hops on, giving me a wave. “I’ll see you around. I need to get ready for an eight a.m. meeting.”
He turns his key and squeezes the handles, whipping around me and zooming back to his house. I stand here, tongue tied and light on my feet as I watch him disappear into the dark. It’s him. Or am I only hearing what I want to hear?
“Yeah, and that’s because you’re the type of person who likes to be seen. Don’t worry, Little Bo. I see you just fine.”