Chapter 14
Fourteen
Patrick
Who knew it was my frustration toward another person that would finally get me out of my car and to my brother's hospital room?
I had to get away from there. I wanted to listen and do what he asked of me too badly.
I want him to go back to his house and watch me inside mine doing exactly what he demanded.
And that's why I had to leave. He doesn't get to have that from me when he can't even tell me the truth.
When he just keeps doing shit without explanation.
What was wrong with those cookies? Was there even anything bad about them or was this another one of his games to make me more afraid? Why would anyone leave me with something that could hurt me when I only know two people in this whole town?
“Can I help you?” A nurse in blue scrubs asks me, stopping me in the hall.
“Yeah, I'm here to see my brother in room 223.”
Her lips lift. “Oh you're the one listed as an emergency contact.”
“Yeah. That would be me.”
“Which I find it weird that he'd add someone who lives so far away when his husband lives down the road.”
“What?” I say, feeling as if someone just threw cold water on me. “My brother isn't married.”
Her brows scrunch together. “Sure he is. The man only comes to visit almost everyday. Unless….” she lifts a hand to her mouth. “I think they recently tied the knot and he didn't have a chance to tell anyone.”
“I…” My tongue feels like it’s increased in size. “I didn't even know he was dating anyone.” He knew all about my relationship issues and yet stayed quiet about everything going on with him. Why?
She frowns. “I'm sorry. This is all a hard thing to find out after someone so close to you almost loses their life.”
“Yeah…it's not your fault though. My brother was a very secretive person and probably was waiting for the right moment to tell me.” Whenever the fuck he thought that would be.
“I'm sure that's it.” She gives me an empathetic smile, squeezing my shoulder. “Well, feel free to go in whenever you're ready.”
“Thanks…” My eyes skim her tag. “Wendy.”
“You're very welcome, hun. Let me know if you need anything.”
“When do visiting hours end?” My question stops her midwalk as she's passing me by.
Turning her head slightly, she smiles gently. “Don't worry about that today. Stay as long as you'd like.”
I smile in return and nod. “I appreciate it. I shouldn't be too long though.”
Boy was that a lie. As soon as I'm sitting in a chair by his bed, I rest a hand on him, telling him all about the farm.
I go on about the farmer's market and how good we did.
In between it all, I lightly mention my neighbor and when I finally don't have any more topics to help distract me from the one weighing heavy on my mind, I say, “Why didn't you tell me you met someone?”
His face remains still, his colorless cheeks sinking and my eyes water. “I would have loved to meet him, you know. I would have…” I wipe my eyes, sniffling. “I would have liked to know you weren't really all alone out here.”
Taking a breath, I squeeze his fingers and continue talking to him as if he can respond back. “What's his name?” I look back at the closed door. “I'll have to ask nurse Wendy on my way out. Maybe she'll have a way for me to contact him or know when he'll be here next.”
My head dips and tears stream down my face. “Why did you feel like you couldn't tell me? I just…we're brothers. I love and care about you. Surely you know that if you added me as an emergency contact.”
Lifting my face, I shift in my seat, pulling my hand from his. “He would have been able to be here for you sooner. He would have been able to check on your animals and your house. Did you not trust him enough to do all that? Or maybe you didn't think anything bad would ever happen to you.”
I push out a sigh. “If that's the case then that runs in the family.
I don't know what would happen if I landed in this bed. I doubt anyone would be here for me. All I had was you.” My chest squeezes, eyes aching something fierce.
“And I'm not sure I'll even have that anymore.” I suck in a breath, steadying the next ones that come out the best I can.
“I'm sorry it took me so long to get here. I should have visited sooner.”
And with that I finally understand why he didn’t tell me about his secret husband. He was probably trying to figure out how to get to that point, gearing himself up to the point the same way I was when it came to visiting him.
It was more than that. What if this was the last way I ever got to see him? I didn’t want this as my last memory.
“You can't let it be.” I squeeze out more tears, setting my hand on his shoulder. “You can have this be my last memory of you. You have to wake up. You have to open your eyes so I can scold you about not making me a best man. You just have to.”
Lowering my face, I lay my head on his chest and the sheet below me is practically soaked through by the time I leave.
As I'm slowly walking back to the parking lot I think about how strong his heart beat was.
He was always the strongest of us two so if anyone could pull through this it would be him.
The nurse wasn't at the nurse's station anymore so I couldn't ask her about the man who found time to see my brother when I couldn't.
Why hasn't he stopped by the house? Will he? Has he driven by and decided to keep going?
I get in my car and scan the parking lot and freeze when I spot a familiar truck only a few rows away from me.
My sneaky neighbor starts his engine when his eyes reach mine once he's completely gone, I drive after him.
My fingers are tight on the steering wheel and I go from rage driving to my chest feeling lighter.
My stomach flutters as it dawns on me. I only saw him because he wanted me to.
He knew I needed him here today and that I needed to see that he meant what he said.
That he really would be everywhere I needed him.
When I got back home four days ago, he was gone and he hasn't returned home since.
I keep looking out my window and whenever I'm tending to the animals but his truck still remains out of sight.
Sheepfinder hasn't been online either. Some mysterious screen name keeps sending me money and it's enough for me to not have to do any extra videos.
I do them anyway. It's in hopes to bring him back and to want all my attention to himself. After he must have wanted that if he was willing to spend so much on the new phone he got me. It arrived yesterday and I haven’t opened the box yet.
My videos and photos could be better quality but it doesn't matter to me anymore.
I only care to give one person the best of me.
But I need him to come back so that I can.
The post man waves at me, setting down a box on my porch.
I wave back, tossing corn in the direction I want the sheep to follow.
They all baa running to where the dry kernel is flying in the air.
Lifting the front of my shirt, I wipe the sweat from my face and close the gate behind them.
I turn on the electricity and check the voltage before running up to the house.
Mr. Wiggles is close on my heels and sniffs at the box before I can pick it up. He growls and tries to bite at it. Shooing at him, I head inside and he squeezes past me, wagging his tail as I use a pocket knife to tear open the top of the package.
There's no sender name and I'm met with at least eight layers of tissue when I fish out what's folded in the very bottom one.
My stomach lurches, nose curling and I drop the bloody object to the floor.
I take a step back, looking up at the ceiling and when my gaze returns to the floor, a bout of nausea hits me.
Covering my nose, I swallow the bile threatening to crawl up my stomach and pick the severed finger up from the floor before my dog can. He barks and I wrap it back in the tissue, tossing it in the box.
Why would someone send me that? First the cookies and now this? Was my brother hiding a bigger secret than his new husband? Was he involved in something sinister and the crash he went through was not really an accident?
So many different thoughts tangle together in my mind and drop the box on the table. The police should be the first people I contact but instead of doing the most logical thing a person can do in a situation like this, I get on Onlyfans and message my favorite subscriber.
Me: I need you, Sheep Finder. I need you. Please come back.
After minutes pass, I set the phone down and pace the room before sending him another message.
Me: Come back to me. Not as Sheep Finder but as the man next door.