Chapter 12 Aera #2
He looks up at me, eyes shining. “I was not always like this. I started out as a standard Titan. Eon was, too. But when they introduced the skills packages: nanotoners, nanosolution, memory cores, and dermal shift grid, we went through some pretty…awful transitions.
“Our Creator didn’t use standard parts. We were made from something they sourced in space.
Or it was contaminated from space. I honestly don’t really remember, which is odd for a Titan to say.
We either have a recording or we don’t. But the transformation has fragmented the memories.
There are pieces, but that’s it. Same with Eon.
Our Creator didn’t work with the rest of the team. ”
He shifts his shoulders like he’s uncomfortable.
“Are you cold?” I ask.
Evo releases a short breath. “Never. And you don’t have to stay if, you know, you want to go hang out with the other females or your friends.”
“I’ve spent most of my life fighting with men. I am more comfortable with you.” But really, I just don’t want to leave him. He didn’t leave me. And the idea of him sitting alone in here like he’s sick and broken just doesn’t make me feel good. “You’re way more intriguing, anyway.”
Evo smiles and shakes his head. “Do not compliment this mess.”
“Hottest mess I’ve ever seen.”
His head snaps up. Evo’s expression slides through confusion to doubt, a twinge of hope, and ends on denial. “If you hadn’t ended up in Omega Force, what would you have done with your life?”
“I chose the life. I’d been around Omegas my whole life, Creators too. Engineers. But I’m not real technical or patient. I have a tendency to like things to just be good enough, and then I move on. Now, back to what it feels like being humanoid stardust.”
Evo leans back in the bed and tucks a knee up to his chest, then adjusts the tubes so they run along the side of the bed.
He looks up at the ceiling and tucks a hand behind his head.
“Compared to being a solid Titan, it’s kind of…
fizzy. I’m hot and sort of feel like a contained wave of energy beads that curls heavily through me.
It’s just my nanos always sensing things around me, waiting for the next stimulus.
Like Atomizer, only I don’t disaggregate unless I contact a Titan like him or Fracture. And I’m…”
Evo runs a hand over his chest.
“Are you okay?”
“Fine. Ultromotor’s running high. Maybe because I’m finally thinning out my blood, and it’s working out the junk.
I don’t know.” Evo tilts his head and looks over at me.
“I feel like Atomizer, except like my orbs are all mini suns. Chasm would understand. Ash too. Many of us share tech. I’m sure you saw Fury, the fiery Relic, in the meeting. ”
“I did.”
“He has BlazePins that make him catch on fire. Us Rogues have those but in our nanos. So when we change, we can emit more than fire. Ash can detonate a whole ship. Chasm can tear a ship in half. I’ve seen it. But a maximum transformation of that level of power can nearly take us offline for good.”
“The Black Death,” I offer.
He nods. “Tried to find my way there many times.”
The dejection in his eyes as he stares into the distance is heartbreaking. “But we survive because we are strong enough to. That means we must keep going.”
Evo looks exhausted.
“Why don’t you rest? I can sit up and watch.”
“Can’t. To hold my shape, I have to stay awake. If I default to my stardust, the machine will stop working. I have to stay in Titan form.”
“So, what, you’re not a Titan anymore?”
Evo chews his lip. “I don’t know what I am.
I know only what I care about and what I can do.
Eon is made of shadows now. I am made of light.
When we fight together, we do what we call Ghosting.
We literally phase out of the material world and into an energetic essence that bullets can cut through and not harm us.
But it also means that anything not nano-receptive, like weapons or ships or whatever, will phase through us as well.
So our nano-receptive armor is critical. ”
“Why’s that?”
Evo laughs. “Otherwise, when we separate, we’re both naked. That makes everything awkward.”
“Bet it makes Solcrue jealous.”
He squints over at me. “Why would they ever envy Titans?”
I curl my lips into my mouth and shrug, realizing he has no idea.
“Aera, what are you talking about?”
“I have an idea of how big your gun is.”
“I am not armed.”
Oh, hell. I slap a hand over my face. “You’re such a Titan.”
“That is correct, for the moment,” Evo mutters.
“I can’t believe I have to explain this to you.” I hang my head back in exasperation. “I mean, I know your mating programming was buried and only supposed to be accessible when you were freed and met a compatible mate, but here goes.
“Solcrue have tiny dicks. I mean, not like tiny, as in they don’t function. But they are on the small side for a human descendant. Creators gave you appropriate Titan-sized hardware. And don’t think I haven’t felt it. You’ve been keeping me against you since we met.”
Evo’s lips part like he’s in shock at what I’ve just said. “I didn’t mean to…”
“Does everything stay the same size when you shift?” I ask.
“Well, uh… Yes?”
I know I’m playing with fire, but staring at him in his shirtless Titan form isn’t easy when I want to know what he feels like. I get up and walk up to his bed. Cautiously, I take a seat beside him. “And you can hold your form if you think about it?”
“It takes the majority of my effort.” Evo’s pale blue eyes dance over my face as I brace a hand on the bed and lean closer. “W-what are you doing?”
“Studying you. Is that not allowed?” I ask, catching the lightly sweet and metallic scent of space in the air around him.
His shoulders rise and fall with a heavy breath. “I’m nothing special.”
“Evo.” I give him a knowing look. “We’ve both established that is not true. Normally, I would hug someone who had saved my life. And I can’t even touch you.”
He pushes up in the bed like he’s uncomfortable being so close to me. “I’m just…not worthy after what I’ve done.”
“I care only about what you choose to do, not things you were forced to do in your past.” Scooting closer, I lean toward his rugged face, wishing I could throttle back how I feel for him, but it’s an unusual connection, a curious attraction that makes me want a taste. “Can you hold it?”
Evo’s cybernetic occuli burn like blue halos as he scours my face like he doesn’t know what to expect. “For the moment.”
A rumble in his chest grows like the sound of a revving motor. His breath quickens, and I think I better make it short. There’s no telling what will happen when I take what I have wanted since the moment I saw him looking down at me from inside his ship.
Sliding a hand over his jaw, I admire the smooth firmness of his synthflesh and the engineering that went into building such a magnificent creature.
I know, deep inside his core, he’s still human.
His essence, his soul, is like mine, he just has a different body now.
But that doesn’t mean that his spiritual needs are any different from mine.
Titans crave a sense of belonging, importance, and love the same as any member of my colony.
But this Titan understands how I feel because he’s enduring a similar sense of isolation from his kind, like I am. We’re treated differently. And all we want is to be normal.
Evo’s synthskin holds its metallic sheen, so I crane up to his mouth and capture it with mine. His taste is a bit like his scent, but the softness of his lips surprises me. The heat of his breath is evidence of the stars burning inside him.
He lets out a pained rasp. A hand slides hesitantly up my arm.
I brush my nose over his as I pull back. “Just wanted to say thanks for saving me.”
His eyes open lazily. A hesitant laugh escapes. Then Evo’s eyes widen. His lips lighten and take on my human skin tone. It spreads over his face from where I’ve kissed him and outward from where my fingers brace his jaw.
“Shit, shit. Shit!” Evo jerks forward and rips the nanotoner filtration tubes out of his back and just below his digibadge, then slaps the machine off and leans back.
Seconds later, a Titan rushes into the room. “Evo, I got your emergency ping, Brother. Are you okay?”
Evo rubs his forehead as my human tone fades from his skin and he returns to his usual stardust.
Jack walks up to us, assesses the situation, hums a note to himself, and grins. “Okay, you two. No funny business during treatment.”
“It’s my fault,” I admit. “But I do not regret it.”
Jack touches Evo’s shoulder, turning him back into a Titan, and proceeds to reconnect Evo to the filtration system. He motions me back to the other bed. I oblige, even if I don’t like it. He and Evo nod to each other like they’re talking in their heads again, then Jack leaves.
“I’m sorry, Aera.” Evo looks hopelessly up at the ceiling. “I am still learning to hold a given shift. I spent too many years in a reactionary mode, finding things with properties I wanted to emulate, and I just moved from one thing to the next. I’ve never really had anything stable.”
I smile and take his gloved hand in mine. “Then we keep trying until you can hold it longer and longer.”
Evo looks at me like I’m suddenly his lifeline. “I’d like that. More than you know.”
Lotus’ voice comes over the speaker system. “All available mission-capable Titans, soldiers, and civilians are requested in the main hangar in one hour to receive assignments for new mission: infiltration and salvage of Solcruean battle cruiser.”
“Guess they came up with a plan,” I remark.
“They did.” Evo’s eyes shimmer with received data. “Why don’t you rest for the next hour? I will watch.”
“That isn’t fair,” I say. “I know you’re tired.”
His eyes find mine, still filled with streams of data. “It is practical, Aera. We must be practical if we are to survive long enough to have what we want.”
I lie back on the bed, tuck an arm under my head and roll onto my side so I can stare at him and his hunky body. “What does a sexy Titan made of stardust dream of?”
Evo smiles to himself and shakes his head like he doesn’t know why I think that.
“A quiet life, safe, with my Brothers, and someone to share my time with. But even if we win, that will not happen. So I just want to keep those I care about close enough that I do not lose them to the abyss again. Not knowing is worse than knowing the worst.”
“You dream of fighting for your family,” I offer.
“If I cannot have anything else, that is what I want.” Evo rubs a hand over his digibadge. “Because then at least I know I’m trying and hope is not lost.”
I close my eyes and sink heavily into the soft bed. “You’re hot, but that dedication is what I love most.”
Love? Did I say that? Like… I meant... Waves of sleep grip me, pulling me under.
Shadows crawl over my thoughts. Only this time, it isn’t Solcrue that haunt me.
It’s an image of Xiphos far out in the darkness.
I’m supposed to operate it, and I know next to nothing about it.
The fear that my blood won’t do what it’s supposed to when the time comes has me wanting to crawl away and hide.
It’s why I have to join the mission. I have to fight to distract myself from this new pressure, something I never asked for.
“Aera…” Evo’s voice is an anchor in the darkness. “I’m here.”