Chapter 17
‘I’ve been looking for you,’ Lily says as she sits down on the sun lounger next to mine.
My conversation with Gabriel has done wonders for my mood and, after managing to avoid the rest of the group at lunchtime, I’ve been focused on doing some of the things I’ve wanted to do since I got here.
My drink at the pool bar was a little disappointing, because I’d have preferred it to be one of Raphael’s rum punches rather than the virgin mojito that was the closest I could get, but I’ve swum in the sea and I’m back in the zone with my book.
‘Hi, Lily,’ I say, setting my Kindle aside and looking at her. ‘What’s up?’ I really hope this isn’t going to be another dressing down, as I’m feeling remarkably peaceful at the moment, and my new emotional support person won’t be at the piano for another three hours.
‘I just wanted to check in on you. Amy said she had a bit of a run-in with you this morning, and I know the whole room sharing situation isn’t ideal, so I wondered if you were OK.’
‘I’m fine, thanks, Lily. I guess I just find Amy a bit overwhelming sometimes, particularly as she seems convinced that my only reason for existing is to try to prise Stuart off her.’
Lily smiles. ‘I sometimes forget how full-on Amy can be, because we’ve known each other forever and I’m used to her. She means well, but she can be a bit overbearing and she’s not always terribly good at accepting opinions that differ from hers.’
It takes me a moment to frame my next question, as I want to ask it without offending her. ‘You certainly seem very different from her,’ I observe. ‘I’m not sure I’d naturally put you together as best friends.’
Lily laughs softly. ‘Oh, very good, Tori. A masterclass in tact and diplomacy. Alan would be proud. We are very different, you’re right, but that’s partly why it works.
For example, Amy is a brilliant organiser, where I find that kind of stuff quite stressful.
As soon as I told her I was getting married, she was all over it, and I barely had to do anything beyond turn up to the appointments she’d made and, obviously, be there on the day.
Same with this holiday. I know she’s not everybody’s cup of tea, and she’s very obviously not yours, but she’s been a good friend to me. ’
‘The thing I don’t understand is why she’s so convinced all I want is to steal Stuart off her.’ This is a dangerous topic, I know, but I’m keen to get Lily’s opinion on the subject.
Another soft laugh. ‘Before we get on to that, isn’t it the weirdest example of it being a small world that you once dated my brother-in-law? I just can’t get my head round that at all.’
‘Is that the weird thing, do you suppose, or is it the fact that I’ve worked with you for all this time and reckon I know you reasonably well, but neither of us ever figured it out?
I mean, what are the chances of that? I thought I was going to have a heart attack when I saw him at the airport.
’ This is true, but not for the reasons that Lily suspects.
I don’t think I can tell her about New Year’s Eve.
Although I’m uncomfortable about concealing things from her, I think she’d find it very difficult not to share my revelations with Amy, and then we’d be in the disaster scenario that Stuart outlined so succinctly this morning.
‘That is weird, I agree,’ Lily says gently. ‘The thing about Stuart is that he’s a little – how do I put this kindly – immature. Would you agree?’
She looks at me expectantly, but there’s no way I can tell her my true feelings about Stuart either.
He may be the lowest form of humanity in my eyes, but he’s still her husband’s brother, and she might feel obliged to defend him.
I have enough enemies on this holiday already; I don’t want to risk falling out with Lily as well.
‘I think that’s a nice way of putting it,’ I tell her instead.
Lily smiles. ‘You are on fire in the tact department this afternoon. So, although she loves him and he loves her, Amy does find Stuart’s immaturity a little trying at times, particularly his’ – again she pauses while she searches for the right word – ‘wandering eyes.’
That’s not the only part of him that wanders, I think, but manage to keep my mouth shut for a change.
‘Stuart’s always been a bit of a ladies’ man,’ Lily continues.
‘In fact, he propositioned my sister Poppy a few times in the week leading up to the wedding, even though she’s over ten years older than him.
She’s a sex therapist and I think that was like catnip to him.
Don’t tell Amy. They weren’t together then, but I’m not sure she knows, and she is a little insecure about his past, as you’ve found out. ’
‘Do you think,’ I begin, pleased with my ability to turn my previous thought into a question, ‘that he’s ever gone further than just looking?’
‘What, actual cheating? I’d like to think not. Why, do you know something?’
‘No, absolutely not. I mean, he was a bit more flirtatious with a couple of my friends than I liked when we were going out, but I know for a fact that nothing happened.’ This conversation is exhausting, because I’m literally walking a tightrope, trying to find out as much as I can from Lily without giving anything incriminating away.
‘Anyway,’ I continue, deciding that it’s probably a good idea to change the subject before I accidentally say something I shouldn’t. ‘How are you enjoying the holiday?’
She sighs happily. ‘It’s lovely here, isn’t it? I had this idea in my head about what the Caribbean would be like, but this is even better than I dreamed.’
‘And the pregnancy thing?’
‘Nothing like a holiday to get Dan in the mood, and that’s all I’m telling you. What about Robert? How are you getting on with him? I’m so sorry about the mix-up.’
‘It wasn’t your fault, and he’s fine, actually. He’s started trying to talk to Fliss, but she’s not being very receptive at the moment.’
‘I can’t say I blame her, can you? She was so looking forward to this holiday.’
‘I think Robert understands that it wasn’t his finest hour. The question now is whether he’ll be able to win her back or whether it’s too late.’
We lapse into silence, and I’m just about to pick up my book again when Lily speaks.
‘Do you mind me asking how it ended? Between you and Stuart?’
‘He dumped me,’ I say matter-of-factly. ‘We weren’t together for that long, but he said I was too needy and clingy. I think the reality was that I was after a serious relationship and he still wanted to play the field.’
‘Immature.’
‘Yes.’
‘And there’s definitely nothing residual there?’ She smiles guiltily. ‘Asking for a friend.’
I might have known. Amy has obviously sent Lily on a mission to butter me up and try to find out what’s going on.
‘You can tell Amy that I have no residual feelings whatsoever where Stuart is concerned,’ I say firmly.
‘Can I ask one more question?’
‘Of course.’
‘Why did you tell her to ask him where he was on New Year’s Eve?’
Fuck. What do I say now? My mind is whirling while I’m trying my best to look like nothing is going on.
I could just say it was a mistake, but I don’t think either Amy or Lily would believe that.
I could tell a half-truth and say I saw him and we had a chat, but Amy won’t like that and Stuart will only jump down my throat again.
I sigh as the only plausible option comes to me. ‘It was a dick move in the heat of the moment. I’m sorry. Amy had come for me, suggesting that Stuart had cheated on me because I was needy and pathetic, and I just wanted to throw something back at her.’
Lily looks thoughtful. ‘You went to Sonya’s gathering at XYX. Stuart was there when we left. Did you see him?’
‘I did,’ I admit. ‘All we did was have a bit of a chat, but I was so cross with the way Amy was suggesting that I was the problem that I was tempted to suggest there had been more.’
It grates to throw myself under the bus like this, especially just to spare Amy’s feelings, but what else can I do? Lily studies me for a long time and I can feel my skin prickling. I hate lying to her, but I don’t really feel like I have a choice. The question is whether I’ve got away with it.
‘That makes sense,’ she says eventually. ‘I wish you two would find a way to get along, though. She is a lot, Amy, but her heart is in the right place.’
I seriously doubt that, but once again manage to keep my opinion to myself. ‘I’m quite happy to push the reset button, provided she stops accusing me of trying to steal her boyfriend and attempting to micromanage my holiday.’
‘I can’t make any guarantees, but I’ll put your terms to her,’ Lily says gently. ‘Will you be joining us in the spa tomorrow, do you think? I believe it’s a different type of massage and some sort of body wrap.’
‘I’d love to, but I can’t. I’ll be out all day tomorrow.’
‘Really? Where?’
‘I’m doing a tour of the island.’ This isn’t a lie, for once.
Before I left the bar this morning, Gabriel offered to pick me up and show me some other bits of Jamaica tomorrow, and I accepted eagerly.
I think he’d realised that some time away from the others would do me good, and the idea of spending a whole day with him is far from unwelcome.
He’s good for me, I’ve decided, and I’ll have all that time to see if I can get him to open up.
‘Really?’ Lily looks surprised. ‘You know Amy’s organised one of those for the day before we go home.’
‘I didn’t, I’m sorry. Well, maybe I’ll see different places tomorrow, or I’ll be able to add a new perspective having done the same places with a different guide.’
Or maybe I’ll find an excuse not to come on Amy’s trip. The idea of being cooped up for the whole day with her and Stuart is more than I can bear.
‘Lily tells me you’re doing a guided tour of the island tomorrow,’ Amy says over dinner that evening. ‘Did you not see that I’d already included that in the schedule that I sent over before we came?’
‘It must have slipped my mind. Sorry.’
Although Lily promised to do whatever she could to try to smooth things over between Amy and me, I’m not convinced Amy has got the memo as she’s definitely in bossy mode again.
‘No matter,’ she says breezily. ‘You can just cancel yours.’
This is so typical of Amy, and I can feel my hackles rising. What to do though? If I tell her it’s an informal trip with a friend, it’s just going to strengthen her case that I should call it off in favour of her tour and, unsurprisingly. I’m not about to do that.
‘I can’t, I’m afraid,’ I tell her after thinking about it for a moment.
‘I’ve paid a non-refundable deposit and it was, umm, quite substantial.
’ I’ve lost count of how many lies I’ve told today.
On reflection, maybe I should cancel tomorrow and spend the day in the confessional instead.
But surely this is the only option other than the truth, which is that I hadn’t forgotten her tour, I’d just rather walk on hot coals than spend a whole day with her.
Telling her that definitely won’t do anything for Tori/Amy relations.
A look of annoyance briefly flashes across her face before she forces her mouth into some sort of rictus grin.
‘I see. Well, I’m sure we’re all very impressed with your independence and resourcefulness.
When I booked our trip, I was told all the tours were hugely popular and sold out weeks in advance, so I needed to get in quick to secure a place.
Which company did you use, out of interest? ’
Why won’t she just let it go? ‘I, umm, don’t remember the name,’ I tell her. ‘I, ah, rang a few who said exactly what you were told, but this one outfit had just had a cancellation, so there was a place available.’
‘Gosh, that was lucky,’ Amy says, narrowing her eyes.
‘I do hope you checked that they were reputable, especially if they took a lot of money from you. Jamaica may look like paradise, but there are still plenty of crooks here, the type who’d think nothing of scamming a na?ve young woman on her first trip to the Caribbean, or even worse.
’ She shudders theatrically to emphasise her point, and I find myself biting my tongue.
If this is Amy in diplomacy mode, I’d frankly prefer the open hostilities of this morning.
One thing is certain. Tomorrow is going to be a much better day.