Chapter 27
‘I’m not sure which has been better grilled, me or the chicken,’ I whisper to Gabriel as we follow Constance towards the dining room around half an hour later.
‘You did brilliantly,’ he reassures me.
‘I don’t think she was very pleased when she found out I wasn’t a churchgoer.’
‘Don’t read too much into that. Of course, she wants all her children to be as devout as her and marry good Christian people, but I think she also knows that it’s not a realistic dream.
Leonard isn’t a Christian at all, she knows Raphael and Uriel only go to church to keep her happy, and Blessing’s husband is Church of England, which she thinks is so liberal in its views that it doesn’t really count.
She also assumes every relationship is heading inevitably for marriage.
Dad was her only boyfriend, so she doesn’t really understand why you’d start seeing someone unless you thought they were a serious prospect. ’
‘I am,’ I remind him playfully. ‘Have you told her you’ve already proposed?’
‘Oddly, I haven’t mentioned that yet. I’m waiting for the right moment,’ he says with a laugh.
‘There are two plates of chicken,’ Constance explains as we take in the sideboard groaning with food. ‘The plate on the left is for our English guests.’
‘What’s the difference?’ Amy asks.
‘The one on the right is probably a bit too spicy for you, honey,’ Constance tells her.
‘I’m sure it will be fine,’ Amy says as Gabriel gives me a meaningful glance. ‘I love spicy food.’
The temptation to leave her to her fate is almost overwhelming, but I don’t think Constance will take kindly to Amy spitting it out when she finds out just how hot it is. ‘Amy,’ I say quietly. ‘I’d really advise you to go for the English version.’
‘Nonsense,’ she tells me robustly. ‘You managed the Jamaican one, and I’ve got a much higher spice threshold than you. How bad can it be?’
‘Have you got lots of milk?’ I ask Gabriel. ‘Something tells me we’re going to need it.’
At least I know what some of the side dishes are now, I think to myself as I help myself to a couple of pieces from the milder chicken plate. There’s rice and peas, as well as the callaloo and a couple of other dishes I don’t recognise. I glance at Gabriel and raise my eyebrows questioningly.
‘These two are fried plantain and festival, which is a kind of fritter made from corn meal,’ he explains. ‘Why not take a little bit of each to see if you like them?’
I shouldn’t be surprised that Constance has decided that I should occupy the seat next to her at the large dining table.
Lily and Dan sit with Grace and Leonard, leaving Uriel and Raphael to entertain Amy and Stuart.
Stuart is evidently well out of his comfort zone, as he’s barely said a word since we arrived.
I don’t think it helped when he picked up his knife and fork the moment he’d sat down and Raphael had to gently intervene to stop him.
‘Uriel, say the blessing, please,’ Constance commands.
‘Thank you, Lord, for this food. Bless it to our bodies and bless the hands that prepared it. Amen,’ Uriel intones as everyone except Amy and Stuart bows their heads.
Constance looks around the table approvingly before picking up her knife and fork.
This is obviously the signal to start eating, as the rest of the Campbells follow suit.
I cut off a small piece of my jerk chicken and sigh with pleasure as I bite into it.
It’s still hot, but much more manageable than the one I had at the Food Shack.
I glance up just as Amy shovels a large chunk into her own mouth.
For a moment, there’s nothing, and then her eyes widen in surprise and I could swear there are tears forming in them.
‘Is everything all right, honey?’ Constance asks. She was obviously watching too.
Amy is evidently in real trouble, and I can’t help feeling a little sorry for her, even though she totally ignored everyone’s advice and has definitely brought this on herself.
She’s got a massive piece of something I know to be hotter than the surface of the sun in her mouth, and she can’t spit it out for fear of offending our hosts.
There’s only one way it can go, and I watch as she chews frantically, with tears now pouring down her face.
Silence has fallen round the table; everyone is watching Amy with fascination now.
She’s breathing heavily and perspiration is forming on her forehead.
Eventually, she swallows and immediately grabs her glass, emptying it in one go.
‘It’s delicious, Mrs Campbell,’ she coughs. ‘I, umm, particularly love getting to know the cuisine of every country I visit, and this chicken is a real eye opener.’
‘Uriel, fetch the lady some milk,’ Constance says. ‘That’s a chilli cough right there.’
‘I’m fine, honestly,’ Amy gasps as, to her credit, she bravely cuts another piece. ‘I’ll admit it was a surprise, but I know what to expect now. Could I have another ginger beer, please?’
‘I’m not sure that’s a good idea,’ Grace says gently to her. ‘Are you sure you wouldn’t prefer milk? It really helps.’
‘I’m not really a fan of milk,’ Amy tells her. ‘Maybe water?’
‘Water will make it worse,’ Grace explains. ‘The chemical that makes chillies spicy doesn’t dissolve in water. If you’re not a fan of milk, some yoghurt might help?’
‘That would be lovely, thank you,’ Amy says, now looking at the pieces of chicken on her plate with something approaching terror.
To her credit, Amy did manage to finish her chicken with the help of copious amounts of yoghurt and, to my amazement, didn’t try to make her predicament my fault, for once.
I’m not sure how she would have achieved it, given that I had warned her, but Amy seems determined to blame me for everything, so I’m sure she could have found a way if she’d really wanted to.
As soon as we’d got back to the hotel, she’d made a beeline for her room and we didn’t see her for the rest of the day.
It’s now Monday morning and we’re congregating as usual for breakfast. Today is the last full day I’ll get to spend with Gabriel, as he’s already explained he’ll be tied up in rehearsals for the concert tomorrow.
I’m therefore a little preoccupied and don’t notice that my nemesis is missing.
‘Where’s Amy?’ Robert asks Stuart as we sit down.
‘She’s not feeling very well,’ Stuart replies. ‘She’s been up most of the night, actually. I left her to sleep.’
‘What kind of not very well?’ Lily asks, concern etched on her face. ‘Do we need to get the resort to call a doctor?’
‘I don’t think so,’ Stuart says carefully. ‘She’s convinced the chicken at lunch probably wasn’t cooked properly and has given her food poisoning. She’s, umm, got the burning ring of fire, if you know what I mean.’
Lily looks nonplussed for a moment, until Dan mouths the word ‘diarrhoea’ at her.
‘It’s not food poisoning,’ I say firmly. I may be used to Amy coming for me, but I’m not having her blame Constance for something she totally brought on herself. ‘Her body is just telling her, as I tried to do before she ate it, that the chicken was too spicy for her.’
‘I don’t know. I mean, we don’t know how it was cooked, do we?’ Stuart counters. ‘Maybe it was underdone.’
‘Has anyone else had a bad reaction?’ I ask him crossly.
‘Umm, not that I know of.’
‘And yet we all had this supposedly undercooked chicken. Either we’re exceptionally fortunate or that’s not the explanation.’
‘Maybe our version was better cooked,’ Lily suggests.
‘I’m sure both versions were cooked just the same. The only difference was that ours was milder. But let’s suppose you’re right and there was something genuinely wrong with the hotter one. That would affect the other people who ate it too, wouldn’t it?’
‘I suppose so,’ Stuart admits.
‘OK. Let me WhatsApp Gabriel and see how they all are.’ I pull out my phone to compose a quick message, but it actually takes longer than I thought, because it’s quite a difficult question to ask without sounding odd. In the end I think I get the balance just about right.
Hi, just double-checking what time you’re picking me up today. I have 10am in my head, is that right? Shall I meet you at Raphael’s, as I assume you’ll be using his car again? xx
I’m quite pleased with myself. If Amy is right, not only will Gabriel be unable to collect me at ten, but Raphael won’t be anywhere near his bar either. The reply comes almost immediately.
Hi yourself! Yes, 10am at Raphael’s if that’s all right with you. I thought I’d take you out to lunch if you fancy it. See you soon! xx
‘Gabriel and Raphael are both absolutely fine,’ I announce. ‘I think we can assume there was nothing wrong with the chicken.’
‘It certainly looks that way,’ Lily agrees. ‘Poor Amy though.’
‘Sounds entirely self-inflicted to me,’ Robert observes drily.
‘I’m sorry to hear that,’ Gabriel says when I relate the story to him later, deliberately leaving out the part where Amy blamed his mother for poisoning her. ‘You didn’t have any problems like that after the Food Shack though, did you?’
‘No, I was fine.’
‘Hmm. Maybe she’s not as tolerant of spice as she made out. Anyway, I hope she feels better soon. Now, I’m afraid I have a favour to ask you.’
‘What is it?’
‘My manager, Harvey, is arriving on a flight from London this afternoon. I assumed he would be getting a taxi to his hotel and I’d meet him in the morning, but I woke this morning to a text telling me what time his flight was landing, so I think it’s safe to assume that he’s expecting me to collect him. ’
‘Oh, OK.’ I’m trying to sound like I’m fine with that, but I’m really not. I feel like another chunk of precious time has just been stolen. Gabriel has obviously picked up on it too, because his tone is conciliatory when he speaks again.