Chapter 31
My heart hammers wildly as I meet Jack”s thunderstruck green eyes boring into mine.
“How did you find me here? Have you been following me?” I try to deflect with misplaced anger, but he is not having it.
Silently, he pulls out his phone, showing me the blinking icon in his app.
“You have been tracking me?”
“Yes. I’m sorry for not telling you. It was the only way I could sleep at night, knowing where you were at all times.” I blink, confused at his confession, but he doesn’t let up. “Now, Maddie, this is my—our baby?”
I lower my gaze and nod faintly, the words lodged excruciatingly in my constricted throat.
“Y-yes . . . I-I”m pregnant,” I finally manage to force out, hands still clutching my sweater together, as if I need to shield my baby from his gaze.
He exhales sharply, rocking back almost imperceptibly. Finding my voice again, I forge ahead. “Twenty-one weeks along now. I”m . . . I’m due in July.” I rest my trembling fingers over my taut belly protectively. “The second trimester is a breeze. I have an OBGYN here, and yoga helps keep me nimble. She is growing perfectly healthy, about the size of a banana now . . .” Realizing that I’m rambling, I let my words drift into the spring breeze.
“She?” His breath catches on the single syllable, eyes widening.
I nod, a tentative smile lifting my lips.
Something cracks open behind Jack”s awestruck gaze. The line of his shoulders softens. He blinks rapidly.
“We”re . . . I”m having a daughter?” Reverent wonder edges his hoarse tone.
A wide grin blooms across his face. His broad palm drifts reflexively over my hair before catching himself awkwardly.
My yoga partner, Marie, approaches hesitantly as the rest of the class filters away across the dappled sunlight on the lawn.
“Tu vas bien?” Her gentle brown eyes study my features, only moderately concerned upon seeing Jack”s stunned reaction.
“Oui, merci Marie, à la semaine prochaine,” I reply as calmly as possible, squeezing her hand and hoping I successfully conveyed this is just an unexpected surprise. With a final curious glance between us, Marie mercifully walks away.
Jack roughly drags a hand through his now longer hair. A wayward lock tumbling over his forehead shifts the severe military edge into a modern metro style. It suits him. The touch of casual tousle softens his sharp jaw and intensifies those stormy green eyes in a way that steals my breath. I have to curl my fingers tightly to resist reaching out to discover if it would feel as thick and soft as it looks threaded through my hands.
“So, when exactly were you planning on telling me about this, Little Bird?” Hurt and betrayal edge his tone.
My face flames under his accusation. “I wanted to, originally, right away,” I admit to my shoes. “But the longer I stayed here, the harder it became.”
His sharp inhale makes me peek up hesitantly through my lashes.
“You need to come back to New York, so I can take care of you. Of both of you,” he says gruffly with a slow exhale.
Outrage flashes through me, my spine snapping straight. “I will do no such thing. This attitude right here is exactly why I procrastinated in telling you,” I fire back. “I’m perfectly fine here. They have obstetricians in Paris too, you know.”
Jack looks stunned by my blistering tone. I forge ahead while emboldened, weeks of stewing bitterness fueling me.“I don”t need you swooping in thinking you can wrap me under your wing like some fragile, helpless creature! I”ve built an independent life and a business. My sisters and my Aunt Viv will provide all the support we need.”
Jack rubs his face impatiently. “I want to be part of my daughter”s life,” he insists. “She should have both her parents together as a family.”
I lift my chin stubbornly. “I chose to nurture this pregnancy in Paris away from you dictating how it should unfold. I don”t need your overbearing father simmering and making demands in the background!”
Jack flinches. “He won’t be a problem. I won”t let him interfere,” he insists gruffly. “You”ll be shielded, I swear it. Just come back to me.”
I shake my head, bitterness infusing my tone. “Don”t act like you suddenly want me. This is just your sense of obligation speaking.”
“You don’t understand, Little Bird. This is not chivalry. I want you with me. For real. No more pretending.”
“I won”t do that, Jack. I’m not going back to desperately wanting you, only to be given the cold shoulder on the next turn,” I state baldly. “You need to accept that your place in my life will be solely as my child’s father, nothing more.”
Jack drags a palm roughly down his face before squaring his shoulders. Determination glints through his stormy eyes.
“But I want more,” he says, stepping closer and gently brushing away a strand of hair from my eyes. “I want you, Maddie. Let me take care of you properly, as a family.”
Tears spring traitorously from my eyes, rolling hotly down my cheeks. I shake my head, stepping back. “But I don’t want it! I deserve more than tethering myself to a man who thinks I”m still some silly child!”
His stricken look pierces my core. I swipe dampness from both cheeks, forging ahead. “We made this baby during confusing circumstances. But she comes first now in any choice I make.” Steadily, I meet his frown. “You”re free to be in our daughter”s life without us playing pretend romance again. I need something real. I won”t settle.” Without thinking, I rub my belly. “I want her brought into a home with actual love enveloping her, not just two people yoked by sacrifice. I don’t want a husband sleeping on the floor or in another room. Or not sleeping at all.”
“I’m better, Maddie. I haven’t had a nightmare in months. And I know now that even if I did, I could never hurt you.”
Trying to mask my shredded heart, I lift my chin, defiance still blazing. I refuse to limp through a loveless marriage just to raise a child. I deserve affection, desire, and love, not just purported protection.
And what example would that be for my little girl? She will see me thriving on my own terms, with or without a marriage.
But my skin is flushed under the hot molten lava simmering under his gaze, its weight making my body hum. He looks at me as if he is trying to light me on fire with his glare. Then his face morphs into a scowl.
“You think I don’t love you, Little Bird?” His voice is raspy and sweet, his fingers suddenly tangled in my hair, pulling me in. My nipples pebble, a roil of heat seeping through my body despite my resistance. I swallow audibly, my pulse skittering as his lips crush into mine, unrelenting and hot. I soften into his embrace, my legs giving in under me. But he holds me steady, as I knew he would.
“Maddie, this thing between us. It’s kismet. Don’t you feel it?” he murmurs against my lips.
When he pulls back, he has a ravenous look in his eyes, and I can feel the sizzle in the air.
“These few months without you have been torturous. You are all I can think about. You are my first thought in the morning and my last one at night.”
“I know you desire me, Jack.” The words fall out of my mouth like a whispered prayer as I pull away from his grip. I’m so close to giving in again. “But that’s not enough.” I straighten, my resolve returning. “And I certainly don’t want to be with you for the sake of our child. She will be fine, I promise you that.”
With that, I turn to walk away, but he grips my hand and pulls me back to him.
He looks at me with burning eyes as he leans down and kisses me again, this time gently. And now, I have a choice. To kiss him back or not? But I don”t have too much time to think about it because his tongue pries my mouth open, tangling with mine, soft and tender.
“I love you, Maddie,” he murmurs against my lips. “Come home with me.”
He pulls a moan from me, my heart flapping uselessly in my chest.
This kiss is everything. Hot, tender, possessive, demanding, loving. And before I can say anything, he drops down to his knee, pulling the engagement ring from his pocket.
“Be my wife, Maddie,” he says, searching for an answer in my eyes. “Take this ring back. I was ready to give my life for you from the first moment I saw you. You are meant to be mine. It just took time to admit to myself that I was good enough for you.”
Can this be real? Is Jack Whitmore, for once, after all these months of my pining for him, finally realizing his feelings for me?
My breath is raspy, but I can’t help the smile that forms on my lips at hearing his words. The same diamond solitaire I gave back to him in the hospital glistens in the sun.
“Take this ring back, Maddie. Take me back.”
And when I finally reach for his hand, joyful certainty breaking like dawn across both our faces, he slides the diamond solitaire back in its rightful place on my left ring finger. The facets catch the Parisian spring sunlight, throwing rainbow prisms over our tangled fingers.
Jack stands, eyes suspiciously glassy. His arms come around me tenderly, our baby nestled safe between us.
“Say you”ll come home and be mine for real this time,” Jack demands gruffly, his palm curving over my belly.
“Yes,” I whisper, sealing my lips over his. “Let”s go start our future, soldier.”