Dom #4
Levi said nothing, but the grimace told me he believed I would, which was good, because that was a threat I was willing to follow through on if he kept getting on my nerves.
I understood, at least as far as my imagination allowed, that he had gone through a lot that changed the boy I knew into a man.
That didn’t mean I was going to put up with his bullshit, and if there was one thing that you could rely on with Levi, it was that he came with a lot of bullshit.
Even before Augustine had gotten his hooks into him and started twisting him to be more useful, Levi had been prone to evasion and sometimes, outright lying when he didn’t want to talk about or deal with something.
Levi gave a heavy sigh, setting his coffee mug down. “What are you doing?”
“Last I checked, I’m sitting here, having what might be a civil conversation, but it feels like it’s not all that civil. I’m still pissed at you over all these years, and you’re still trying to keep me out of shit.”
“That’s what I mean. Why are you even bothering? You clearly still hold a grudge.”
“You know what?” I began, leaning forward and narrowing my eyes.
“Calling it a grudge makes it sound like you stole my girlfriend or something back in middle school. When in fact, the person who was supposed to be my best friend decided he was going to be a piece of shit, leave me behind, and then when he comes back, wants to act like he’s above it all. ”
“I never asked you to come back into my life.”
“Well, tough shit, because here I am.”
“Why?” Levi asked, and the mask of faint irritation cracked a little, and I could see genuine exasperation on his face. “What do you hope to accomplish?”
“Well, my original plan was just to find you and talk, and then to get on your nerves, so that’s the first two taken care of.”
“And your current plan?”
“Don’t really have one, just kind of going with the flow and seeing what comes of things. Honestly, if I can get you to talk more, I might be able to get a little happiness in my life.”
“You are thirty-three years old and acting like a six-year-old who got into the candy.”
“And you are thirty-three years old and acting like a moody teenager who left the table a while ago.”
He glared at me, then turned his attention back to his coffee, as if that was somehow going to give him answers.
I was tempted to point out that if he was so intent on not talking to me, he could easily get up and leave.
It’s not like I was going to hold him here, at least not physically.
He had to have known that when I found him the other day at the cliffs, where the worst I had done was grab his arm and keep him from leaving so that I could say my last piece.
Other than that, he was free to go, but.
..here he was, staring out the window thoughtfully.
“One of them,” he said softly, stirring his coffee despite already mixing everything a few minutes ago. “I killed one of them. It was the first time I’d ever killed someone.”
I’d suspected that was the answer, but it didn’t suddenly make it okay.
Not that I blamed him either, the owner was negligible to the point of criminal charges.
..right up until the charges were almost dropped, and what was left was him handing over money for getting Levi’s mother killed through his neglect.
I’d had no one left to blame for the death of my parents, so all I could do was mourn and be angry.
Levi, though, had a target for his ire, and it was obvious he had focused that anger where it belonged.
Could I say he was that wrong for what he’d done?
In another situation, I would have said letting the law do its job was the right thing to do, except that’s exactly what he had done in the first place, and the justice system had failed miserably.
A couple of technicalities and some money to grease corrupt palms were all it had taken for the tragedy of her death to be forgotten, and the people responsible walked away, their only punishment being to their wallets.
Could I really say I wouldn’t have wanted blood in the same way Levi had?
It didn’t take me long to wryly admit that I don’t think I would have been much different. If someone were responsible for the death of one of my family, I couldn’t say I wouldn’t have gone on a hunt for blood. Especially because, well, actually—
“Augustine,” I said softly.
“What’s that?” he asked, his eyes snapping to me.
I snorted softly. “That’s how you did it, how you got away with it...or both. You went to daddy dearest.”
His eyebrows tightened slightly before he looked away.
“Yes. I approached Augustine and told him that if he wanted me to be a part of the Family so badly, he could do me one favor, and anything else I asked from that point forward would be earned. But I would require his assistance in making sure those two didn’t simply walk away.
They had already left their consciences behind; their guilt hadn’t been enough for the justice system, so I wanted to make sure they didn’t get to live out the rest of their miserable lives believing they were untouchable.
I wanted to make sure they knew otherwise. ”
“Knew otherwise,” I repeated slowly with a huff. “Matty always said not to assume because of what it does, but uh...lemme guess, this wasn’t just taking them somewhere and putting a bullet in the back of their heads, was it?”
“No.”
“Right.”
Levi continued to stare at me, letting out a soft laugh. “I didn’t have the stomach at the time for the nastiest of the work if I’m honest. I think Augustine knew that, which is why he arranged for them to be picked up and...mostly dealt with before I arrived.”
“He had someone else beat the shit out of them.”
“Among other things...for hours.”
My stomach turned uncomfortably at the thought of spending hours under the ‘care’ of someone that Augustine had personally picked as a favor to his son and the upcoming addition to his Family.
Anyone on Augustine’s payroll would be extremely good at what they did, so if he had personally picked someone to torture those men, then they had been in a living hell for however long they were alive.
I could only imagine what they looked like when Levi had finally been brought to them to see the handiwork he’d asked for.
..and what he’d done once he’d seen the results of his request.
“And?” I asked, figuring that if I was going to get the whole story, I might as well get that out of the way before I let myself react and see how I felt about the entire thing.
Levi glanced back at me, searched my face, gave a little snort, and leaned back.
“I was young, angry, and thought I knew exactly what I wanted. When I walked into that room and saw what...had been done to them, I was so horrified that I was genuinely upset. I had thought no human being deserved what had been done to them and that no matter how much I hated them, that wasn’t what I wanted. ”
“I guess that’s what you get for asking Daddy to take care of things.”
“Call him that again, Dom, and I will stand up and leave.”
I knew he was serious, so I gestured for him to continue. “Fine, then it’s a lesson to not expect too much from Augustine.”
“Oh. He had done exactly what I asked of him, what I demanded of him. It was less a Faustian deal at that moment, and more a be careful what you wish for sort of thing. I got exactly what I’d asked for, and found out that the reality was so much worse than what I thought was going to happen.”
“You said you took care of one of them, the owner, I’m betting.”
“Mmm, yes,” he said, and I didn’t know whether I should be relieved or bothered that he didn’t sound like he was enjoying the memory.
Sure, enjoyment would have been unnerving because, Jesus, how much cruelty and sadism would you have to build up to enjoy something like that even years later?
At the same time, the deadpan, almost indifferent response to the memory was just as bad and maybe even worse.
It was not the behavior of a man who was bothered by what he had done.
“I didn’t think I could do it, especially when I’d already seen what had been done to them.
I was given the gun, and I approached. I swore up and down I wouldn’t have the stomach for it. ”
“Okay...something changed that then.”
“He looked at me, and two things happened at once, and then two more. The first was that I could see he recognized me, that I knew who he was, and although I can’t prove it, I believe he understood why that was happening to him.
At the same time, it was the first time I’d looked him in the eyes, and I realized I had enough hate and anger to do exactly what I’d come there to do.
..but it didn’t make the pity go away. So there I was, disgusted and angry with him, with myself, with the whole affair.
And then he begged for mercy, begged me to help him, that he was sorry. ”
“And you said?”
“Nothing. It was no Hollywood moment; there was no speech, no witty quip. I looked him in the eye and squeezed the trigger. That was the last thing to happen. Well, unless you count me throwing up,” he said, and his expression grew pensive.
“I remember being convinced everyone there was going to give me hell for that. I told myself I was acting like a kid when I needed to start acting tougher, especially after the deal I made with Augustine. Yet not one person there said a word, and afterward, Augustine—”