Dom #2
“Good,” Levi said, and I saw his lips twitch as he held back another smile. “If that’s all, then you should probably get to the rest of your itinerary. I know I have plenty to deal with for the rest of the day.”
“I can do that,” he said brightly, and I scowled when he glanced at me before clearing his throat. “I’ll...get out of here. Just call me if you need anything else.”
“I will,” Levi said, and I stepped out of the way so Will could squeeze past me...barely. He practically scuttled out of the room, and I heard the front door before we both watched him from the front windows as he made his way toward his car. “Really?”
“What?” I asked innocently.
“Did you have to not move? The kid has enough on his plate; he doesn’t need to be intimidated by you.”
“My existence intimidates him. Not you, though.”
“Your existence does a lot of things, but intimidating me isn’t one of them,” he said, glancing over. “Though perhaps there is something to having someone of your...stature and demeanor around when I’m doing business.”
“I am not being your bodyguard,” I said.
He blinked. “God no. Whatever might be going on between us, I have zero intention of involving you in my...professional life. That’s why it’s important he doesn’t recognize you.”
“What do you mean?”
“If he recognizes you, someone whose face isn’t exactly foreign to those who might watch MMA, then he might mention that his boss is sleeping with an MMA fighter.”
“I take it from what he said that The Family isn’t too cool about gays?”
He rolled his eyes as he pushed me away from the doorway to step through.
Well, more like he used two fingers to push my chest, and I chose to step back, but hell, I didn’t mind if he wanted to get a little pushy.
His power came from his personality and intelligence, so I didn’t mind giving in to it.
“They are not, but they aren’t like they were a generation ago either.
I’m not worried about others finding out that I have a male lover; it’s an open secret that I’m gay. ”
“Open secret? What, they all know, but no one talks about it?”
“Yes, and if you mention a certain movie, I’ll make you brew your own coffee.”
I snorted. “Fine, then what’s the problem?”
He frowned as he began messing with a machine that looked a lot more complicated than a regular coffee machine. After fiddling with it for a moment, he let out a sigh. “Augustine.”
“Oh, you don’t want him to find out,” I said, squinting. “Has he somehow not figured it out?”
“Oh, he’s aware just like anyone else is,” he said, grabbing a container out of the cabinet. “However, when he sent me here...he mentioned you. As a matter of fact, he pulled up an article on you and—”
“God, tell me it wasn’t that one where they were questioning if I was losing my touch.”
“Something of that sort.”
“Fucking press assholes. I’d call them vultures, but vultures at least do something for the environment by getting rid of dead shit. Those assholes, especially when they’re not doing actual news, are just well-paid stalkers and mean girls.”
He chuckled. “The point is, he went out of his way to bring you up and reminded me to avoid you. I am obviously doing the complete opposite, and while I’m not concerned that he will do something if he finds out.
..I would not like to play with fire while I’ve already got plenty of fires I’m trying to put out. ”
“Yeah, I guess,” I said, glaring out the window as if Augustine’s smug face was staring in at us. “Whatever.”
“Dom, I—”
“Don’t. We’re never going to get along when it comes to that prick. I get it, alright? You’ve got enough on your plate without daddy dearest deciding I’m a bad influence and having me thrown into the ocean.”
Levi’s head snapped up. “I’d fucking kill him.”
It wasn’t said with heat or intensity; it wasn’t said with anger or belligerence; it was said with.
.. knowing. His tone didn’t even entertain the idea that someone would doubt him, and I felt a chill ripple down my spine at the realization that he was absolutely serious.
If Augustine did something to me and Levi found out, Levi would throw everything he had gained from being in The Family down the drain in an instant and kill the man who was technically his father.
“Well,” I said, clearing my throat. “I think that’s the first time I’ve ever felt scared because of you. I guess you did go a little gangster.”
“It’s not a joke,” Levi said. “I made it quite clear years ago, and have reminded him in rare moments of the fact. And that goes for your family as well, just so you know.”
“No, you don’t get it. I believe you. That’s what scared the shit out of me for a moment. You weren’t the Levi I knew; you were the Levi I didn’t.”
“I can be both...and neither,” he said quietly.
“Levi…” I began, and stopped when I saw his shoulders tense.
“Don’t ask a question you aren’t prepared to hear the answer to,” he said softly as if reading my mind. “Because I might just answer it.”
The question on my lips didn’t die, but it definitely froze as I stood watching the machine hum pleasantly, releasing the aroma of an incredibly strong blend of coffee into the air.
Levi’s eyes lingered on me for several heartbeats before turning away to pull something else out of the cabinet.
I barely paid attention to what he was doing as he fiddled with the new device, his lips pressed together.
I had to admit, I still wanted to know, even if I wasn’t sure I was ready for the question. “How easy is it for you to kill someone?”
He stopped, a line forming on his brow and his mouth opening into a faint grunt. “Interesting.”
“Why the fuck would you think that’s interesting?” I asked, confused.
He snorted. “I suppose I was expecting you to ask if I’d ever taken a life, not the ease with which I could take it.”
“Well, I’m not the brightest bulb in the box, but I’m not so dim that I didn’t figure you hadn’t done it in fifteen years of working for The Family,” I grumbled with a roll of my eyes. “And you know...whatever that diner owner’s name was.”
“That’s fair,” he said as the machine droned on.
“He was the first, but not the last. And I won’t even say he was the hardest, though I thought at the time it was.
It was odd to feel pity for a man like him, but in truth, by the time Augustine’s men were done with him, killing him was more a mercy than it was justice. ”
That was a...terrifying thought. “God, is that how he got you in?”
“No,” he said, just fast enough that I believed him. “In fact, Augustine was insistent that I not treat that favor as something that required me to work for The Family. In the end, working for The Family was something I chose to do, not because there was a debt owed to him.”
“Oh, I...don’t know what to say to that.”
“If it helps, I’m not sure how to justify it either,” he said with a shrug.
“I had convinced myself that without my mother, there wasn’t a whole lot to keep me here.
I had never given much thought to the sort of future I would have, so why not take the opportunity that was given to me?
I’m sure you’re not the only person who thought Augustine lured me in or trapped me.
But some people lacked your insight into his character and, to this day, think he does things because he favors me.
If they had even a lick of sense, they’d realize I am here not because I want to be, but because he wishes me to be. ”
“Really? You had nothing here?” I asked, not bothering to keep the hurt out of my voice.
“I was seventeen and deep in the throes of mourning the one person I’d known those entire seventeen years.
I wasn’t making sense, and I didn’t for some time afterward.
It didn’t help that I had also just thrown aside the only true friend I’d ever had, the man I loved in ways I didn’t understand.
And yes, before you say it, I’m well aware that was my choice, but that doesn’t mean it didn’t add to my growing grief.
I was so filled with grief, loss, and loneliness for months, years afterward, that it was a miracle I continued breathing,” he said with a scowl.
“So please, don’t remind me of what I have reminded myself of in exquisitely painful detail for years. ”
“That’s about the closest I’m going to get to an apology, isn’t it?” I muttered.
He sighed heavily. “I’m sorry I hurt you, I really, truly, absolutely am.”
“But not sorry you did it.”
“I...don’t know, okay? I’m not sure. I was making a choice, good or bad, for myself and my future, and after fifteen years, I have no idea if I should have done it.
Perhaps because I’ve been doing this for fifteen years and I’m so used to it that the idea of something else is so foreign I can’t conceive of what it would have meant,” he said with a sigh.
“At the end of the day, I am what I am, and with that decision, it made sense to make sure you were not dragged into it. So, no, I’m not sorry I pushed you away.
You had your life to live, your path to follow, and I knew that it in no way, shape, or form should have anything to do with what I was doing. ”
A few points could be made about that. First, it wasn’t up to him to decide what to do with my life, but what would be the point?
I could tell I wasn’t going to get anywhere with that other than an argument.
Choices had been made, and we’d been living with them ever since.
God, the past day with me was probably the most normal he had had in years, and that included him working.
I wasn’t willing to let the topic go, not by a long shot, but I understood enough to know I didn’t understand at all.