Levi
I was fine. This was fine. Everything was fine.
How many times are you going to repeat that?
As many times as it took to believe the lies coming out of my mouth.
You haven’t said it out loud yet.
No, I hadn’t, because people who muttered to themselves were given a wide berth and drew attention. I didn’t need to say the words aloud, because I could have a conversation with myself in my own head as it was.
Maybe you should consider taking a deep breath and quit worrying so much.
Worrying was precisely what had kept Mom alive all these years.
It’s a dinner with his family...who you know. It’s not life or death.
I’d take a life or death sort of thing right now, actually.
Good Lord.
Ignoring the judgment in her voice, I walked through the front doors and into the lobby, taking the deep breath she’d advised and looking around.
It wasn’t busy, but it was also that part of a Sunday evening when most people would be out getting dinner or in their rooms. The few people in the lobby were either at the bar or in the restaurant, eating and talking.
“Huh,” I said as I looked around, realizing fifteen years really had passed.
Matilda had made some renovations since the last time I’d been there, and they were.
..well, unpredictable, but I certainly wasn’t surprised.
Before, the hotel had given off a kind of off-brand fancy decor, clearly chosen by the owners before her, who, if I recalled, were her parents.
All that fanciness had disappeared, but you could still see its influence here and there.
Mostly, I would have called it Art Nouveau, with a twist. In the sense that there was still plenty of color, even the fake window behind the front desk was backlit to show the stained glass off beautifully.
It was there in the pictures hanging from the walls, with their depictions of women staring at the viewer in mysterious ways, looking beautiful and ethereal.
The wooden bannisters that led up to the second floor looked like intertwined branches.
Yet there were still the old influences as well, the gold chandelier above the lobby, which I was pretty sure was genuine crystal, and the gold frames of paintings and mirrors.
She had dragged the old-world attempt to show off class and money into the modern world, with her own personality.
The restaurant was bigger than I remembered, and the bar had gone through its own overhaul, much bigger than before.
Even the lighting was different, still dim because people seemed to like their bars dim, but it gave the soft glow of more modern lights.
Are you starting to crunch the numbers for how much the renovations cost?
Her amusement brought me out of my head rather than her words.
I had been thinking about how much money must have been put into the hotel, along with wondering whether the rooms themselves had undergone any renovations.
I would bet they had. Matilda had never been one to half-ass anything.
I could only imagine how much money it had taken, which meant the hotel had either gone through a massive boom in the past fifteen years, or I really hadn’t understood how successful it had been back then.
Looking at the front desk, I felt a jolt go through me when I saw the tall woman bent over, tapping at a screen while talking to someone.
Moira looked different yet the same. She had chopped her previously long hair off, but she had discovered makeup that didn’t make her look ready to ride into battle.
The effect was androgynous, but feminine.
She still looked like she could take control of a situation with her words alone, but wouldn’t hesitate to take off her heels to bash you over the head if you got any wrong ideas.
Thinking it was probably a good idea if I found another way to calm myself down, I made my way to the bar.
Her head came up at one point, but I kept walking, never looking back.
Once I was in the relative safety of the dim bar, I allowed myself to take a breath.
Dom had already texted me to say he was going to be a little late, so I would have to hang around the bar and wait for him.
There was no way in hell I was going to risk meeting any of his family by myself.
“Can I get...I don’t know, something strong, I don’t care if it tastes like pure liquor,” I muttered when I got to the bar and sat down.
“Sure,” a voice said, and my head snapped up.
Oh God.
Mason was...well, Mason. He had gotten bigger, just like Dom.
He must be pushing forty, but you wouldn’t know it looking at him.
He was still handsome, though not in a way that demanded attention, and there was still that knowing twinkle in his eye that promised he knew plenty about you and he might or might not use that to torture you.
“I think I know just the thing,” he said, tilting his head before walking off to make the drink.
I let out a low breath of relief. I hadn’t seen a flicker of recognition in his face, and I hoped it stayed that way.
Of all the siblings, Mason was one I didn’t expect to recognize me right away since I had rarely seen him.
Before my feelings for Dom had grown, I’d had a bit of a crush on him, and it was weird to realize he was still attractive.
Not nearly as attractive as Dom, of course, I didn’t think anyone was ever going to knock him out of the top spot, but still attractive.
“Lord,” I muttered.
It had taken Dom almost two weeks to convince me to have dinner with his family.
I had put him off repeatedly because everything about it had screamed bad idea.
Of course, he’d had to pull out the fact that if he couldn’t be part of my life completely, that didn’t mean I couldn’t still be a part of his.
It was a logic I had been unable to argue against, and then he added how much he wanted his family to see me again, and they had asked about me a lot after I had disappeared.
Now I realized it really was a bad idea, and I was right all along. It was going to be awkward, and there would probably be a lot of questions I couldn’t or wouldn’t answer.
“Here you go,” Mason said, sliding something dark in front of me. “That should kick you right in the throat. Might do it to your stomach too, I guess we’ll see.”
“Awesome,” I said, reaching for my wallet and pausing, not willing to hand over my card with my name on it. He might not recognize me right away, but if he were looking at me and saw my name, the two might click. “Cash works, right?”
“Are you opening a tab?”
“Might be, not sure yet.”
“We can open one for you then, and you can pay at the end. Just don’t take off before you pay, or we’ll have to break your kneecaps.”
“Right,” I said, wanting to eye him warily but turning so I was looking at my drink.
Wow, you, uh...really are acting like that fourteen-year-old with a crush on Dom’s older brother right now, just so you know.
I was not...this had nothing to do with my feelings about Mason.
Maybe not, but you’re still acting like it.
I sighed wearily and took a drink, seizing when it hit my taste buds.
Good Lord, whatever the hell Mason had done was clearly what I’d asked for, but good God, did it have to be so.
..vile? As a matter of fact, the taste was horrifyingly familiar, and I had to bite back the bile that rose in my throat.
Everclear. God, I hadn’t touched it since Dom and I had gotten drunk together.
Not the time he had kissed me, of course, but a different time that still resulted in something sexual happening.
A fifth of Everclear, bought for us by the man who had just served me.
The hangover had been the worst of my life, and I’d had a few doozies since.
I would forever associate the taste of Everclear with the horrible headache, nausea that made me throw up at the sight of food, let alone the smell, and the god-awful sense of impending death that had followed me into the next day.
“You,” I began, pushing the glass away from me hard enough to make it slosh, “are an absolute bastard.”
Mason turned, grinning widely. “What’s the matter, sir? Something not right with the drink? You did say you wanted it strong and didn’t care if it tasted like liquor, right?”
“Cut the crap,” I said with a huff, glaring at him. “No one in their right mind would serve that...gasoline by accident.”
His grin fell into a smirk. “I’d mention that you could complain to our head of staff, but it looked like the moment you saw her, you went running for the bar.”
“I haven’t been able to say this for fifteen years, Mason, but go fuck yourself,” I scowled.
“I’ve got someone who can do that for me now. Not sure if Dom mentioned that or not,” he said, folding his arms to lean on the bar and look me over. “You finally got some meat on your bones.”
“Thanks. I see you’re still an asshole.”
“You know, that kind of flattery might just make Jace jealous. I hope you’re not here to try to cash in on that big ol crush you had on me years ago.”
My chest fluttered, and I rolled my eyes. “Of course, you knew about that. Never mind that I didn’t tell anyone.”
“You were...what? Fourteen, fifteen? Teenage boys aren’t exactly known for their subtlety,” he said with a snort. “To be honest, I wanted to say something ages ago, but Moira stopped me.”
“A good thing too, I’m pretty sure you would have horrified me,” I said with a shake of my head. “Being gentle was never your strong suit.”
“True, true. And I don’t think Dom would have forgiven me if I somehow scarred you,” he said, pushing up from the bar and grabbing a glass he’d hidden out of sight, sliding it to me. “Here.”