Chapter 22
Chapter Twenty-Two
Victoria stared into the golden-brown eyes of the man she’d wanted for so long. His words pulled at her heartstrings. He wanted to make love to her but was willing to wait if she needed more time.
Did she? Maybe.
Fear definitely played a role here but not of him.
Whatever happened next wouldn’t be a frivolous roll in the hay.
It would have deep meaning, at least for her, and she sensed it would be more than just sex for him, too.
If she gave herself to him, she might regret it for the rest of her life and walk away with a shattered heart.
The risk she’d be taking could hurt her and him.
There had to be a happy ending somehow, and if ever there was a chance of it with someone, it was with Kyle.
When it came time to explain everything, he would understand. He had to, and she fully intended to tell him. But this was her time, and dammit, she wouldn’t let Yuri take that from her.
“I do trust you.” He would never hurt her the way Yuri had. That wasn’t Kyle’s way. She knew that as surely as the sun would rise tomorrow in the east. And still, he waited for her to make the next move. His restraint was endearing, touching a part of her soul she never knew existed.
Victoria ran her hands up his chest. Everywhere she touched, muscles rippled and bunched, and he hissed in a tight breath.
The few men she’d tried making love with since Yuri had always been the instigators, determined to yank off her clothes and get down to business long before she’d been ready.
They hadn’t actually cared one whit about her, just about getting into her pants.
With Kyle it was different. He’d cared about her first as a person.
“God, Victoria.” The sexy way he’d said it rumbled in her ears and straight down to her toes.
Beneath her hands, his heart beat rapidly. She slid her hands to his waist and began pulling his T-shirt and sweatshirt up and over his head. He helped by yanking them off and dropping them on the kitchen table.
He leaned in, his warm lips finding hers, stroking back and forth until a sweet tension budded inside her. She waited for him to intensify the kiss, but he didn’t. He was holding back, not wanting to push himself on her.
Kyle cleared his throat. “There’s something we need to talk about. I haven’t had sex in a long time, either. I don’t have any condoms.”
“You’re kidding. I mean, about the sex.” It was hard to imagine a man as handsome as Kyle going without it for very long.
“I’m not kidding, and I really don’t have any condoms.” The corners of his mouth lifted. “I don’t want you to worry about contracting anything, but…”
Common sense dictated he had another concern, one she could easily dispel.
“As for getting pregnant, I can’t have children.
” Her throat tightened painfully, as she remembered the day Yuri had given her the doctor’s heartbreaking prognosis.
Funny how she could withhold important things from Kyle but not that.
In the event they might actually have a future together, he needed to know, and she had to give him the choice to back away.
“I’m sorry.” He cupped her cheek. “I always sensed you wanted children.”
“I did.” She swallowed the rising lump in her throat, along with the pain that would always be there. “Does it bother you that I can’t?” Maybe it was a stupid question, given there were no guarantees they’d even be together a week, or a month from now, let alone a lifetime.
“No, it doesn’t bother me.” The look on his face was filled with compassion and understanding. “And not being able to have children doesn’t make you any less desirable. You’re still you.”
Was she? Knowing she could never conceive was like having a hole in her life that could never be filled.
“Don’t,” he said softly when she lowered her eyes. “I know it matters to you, but know this. I still want you more than I’ve wanted anyone.”
With a groan, he covered her mouth with his, fusing their lips together. His exploring tongue swirled and danced with hers. He pulled away, his lips parted and his chest heaving as he rested his hands at her waist.
This was what she wanted. To be alone with him, skin to skin, his big body pressing against hers. There’d been no discussion of the future, but it was too soon. There was still so much they had to learn about each other.
Knowing he wouldn’t, she took his hand and slipped it beneath her sweater, placing it on her breast. For a long moment, his hand remained there, unmoving, rigid beneath hers. Only when he let out a long breath did she realize he’d been holding it.
With big, callused fingers, he caressed her breast softly, teasing her nipple with his thumb until it hardened against the fabric of her bra.
She thought she’d die from the heightened sensations shooting from her breasts to her core.
Wanting more—needing more—she inched closer, her hips against his thighs, the hard bulge at his groin against her belly.
“And you don’t think you have much experience?” He laughed. “Trust me, if you do any better, I’ll come in my pants before we even make it to your bed.”
“We wouldn’t want that to happen, now would we?” Taking more initiative, she tugged off her sweater, adding it to the growing pile of clothing on the table.
She buried her fingers in the light mat of hair on his chest, wanting to touch so much more of him and unable to wait any longer. “Kyle,” she whispered.
“Why don’t we move this into the bedroom?” As he had before, he held out his hand, and the symbolism wasn’t lost on her. It was his way of letting her know the choice was still hers, and it wasn’t too late to change her mind. This was the ultimate moment of truth, the point of no return.
She placed her hand in his and led him to her bedroom.
The semi-sheer curtains she’d hung for privacy without cloaking the room in total darkness glowed from the ambient sunlight, reminding her of the golden, fiery light in Kyle’s uniquely beautiful eyes.
He rested his hands on her bare shoulders, pulling her back against his chest as he stroked her arms, nearly drowning her in intoxicating shivers.
Expertly, he released the clasp of her bra, drawing the straps down her arms. Being so naked before a man wasn’t something she’d done in a very, very long time, and she crossed her arms over her chest to cover herself.
“Don’t.” He tugged one of her hands to his lips. “I want to look at you. Your breasts are beautiful, just like the rest of you,” he murmured, turning her, then bending down to suck her nipple into his mouth. His hand both teased and tormented her other breast, making it ache for the same attention.
Victoria gasped and wrapped her hands around the back of his head, holding his mouth to her fiery body until she thought she would pass out from the exquisite sparks. What he made her feel, made her want… All her inhibitions melted away like a snow cone on a hot summer day.
He unzipped her jeans and hooked his thumbs around her waistband and panties, pulling them down.
She stepped out and vaguely heard the garments land on the floor.
Then he knelt before her, sliding his large, warm hands up her thighs and around her buttocks.
Every part of her he touched erupted in goosebumps, leaving her body trembling and yearning for more.
“I’ll touch you anywhere you want me to.” His eyes shimmered like those of a jungle cat about to feast, and she felt like willing prey. “Don’t ever be afraid to tell me what you like.”
Without her clothes on, there was nothing between her naked body and his but hot, steamy air.
Her gaze dropped to the hard planes of Kyle’s chest and well-defined abdomen.
As if reading her mind, he took her hand and placed it right where she wanted it to be.
His skin was warm, taut, hard, and he shuddered when she began tracing his abdominal ridges with the tips of her fingers.
“I want this to be unforgettable for you.” He stood and began raining feather-light kisses on her neck while his hands skimmed across her back and shoulders.
She sighed, arching into his kisses and giving him greater access to that ultra-sensitive spot just below her ear.
The sound she heard next was purring, coming from her throat.
He pulled back and cupped the sides of her face. “I also want this to feel good for you. Will you let me get you ready?”
“Um, ready?” She was already completely naked. What more could he— Oh. Right. She’d all but said it had been a while for her, and he didn’t want to hurt her. She nodded. “Okay.”
Again, he knelt in front of her, this time sliding his hands to the delicate skin at her inner thighs.
When he slipped one finger between her folds, she gasped and threw back her head.
No one had ever touched her with such gentleness and reverence.
She closed her eyes, gyrating against his hand to the rhythm of his thrusts.
“Do you like that?”
“Mmm,” she moaned. “Don’t stop.” If she died right now, she’d do so with a smile on her face.
“I won’t. Whatever you want, I’ll give it to you.”
With his tongue, he flicked at her tender, sensitive bud, then sucked it into his mouth. It didn’t take long before a muffled sound escaped her lips, and she cried out, calling his name as wave after wave shook her from head to toe with the sweetest orgasm she’d ever experienced.
When the aftershocks finally ceased, self-consciousness seeped in, and her face felt hot. “I never cried out during an orgasm before. I’m so embarrassed.”
He licked his lips, as if he were savoring the taste of her. “Trust me when I say you have nothing to be embarrassed about. You’re radiant when you come. This is the way it’s supposed to be. If it isn’t, then I’m not doing a good job.”