Chapter 26
Chapter Twenty-Six
Kyle ushered Victoria into his West Portal, New Jersey house, then punched in the security code on the keypad, silencing the beeping. Luckily, the house was clean. He worked so many hours, he barely spent time in it, except to put his head down at night. “It’s not much, but it’s home.”
For the first time in ages, he looked around the lower level of the small, two-story house, trying to see it through Victoria’s eyes.
With its golden-oak hardwood floors, blue-and-white patterned rugs, and burgundy sofas, it was a comfortable house, one he’d once expected to celebrate birthdays, holidays, and anniversaries with his wife and their kids.
Seeing Victoria here, in this house he hadn’t truly considered a real home in a very long time, brought an unexpected sense of comfort and rightness he couldn’t explain.
“It’s beautiful,” she said, turning to take it all in.
It was beautiful but not because of him.
Shortly after the house had been purchased, he’d gone on one deployment after another. He hadn’t selected any of the furniture, the paint colors, or anything else, quite frankly.
The moment he set down her suitcase, his cell phone rang. Deke.
Not wanting to leave Victoria alone or take her with him to the florist, he’d called Guy, the security guy he’d hired, notifying him Victoria would be staying “elsewhere,” but he should remain on site anyway and keep an eye out for Yuri Petrov.
He’d also asked Deke to swing by the florist shop to find out who’d sent the flowers. “Whatdya got, Deke?”
As he listened to his brother’s recap, Victoria walked to the bare fireplace mantle. During the drive to his house, she’d hardly spoken. Not that he could blame her. Her asshole ex-husband refused to leave her life, and as long as Yuri was in her life, he was also in Kyle’s life.
“Thanks, bro,” he said when Deke had finished. To Victoria, he said, “I’ll take your suitcase upstairs.”
“What did Deke say?”
“Nothing we can use.” As he’d fully expected, Yuri hadn’t left a paper trail. “The flowers were purchased in cash by a woman who spoke with an unidentified accent. There was no camera inside the shop, and the exterior camera didn’t pick her up getting into a vehicle we can trace.”
Slowly, she nodded. “I’m not surprised.”
But they both knew beyond a shadow of a doubt who’d sent the flowers.
Back at her apartment, he’d considered having the card and the envelope it came in tested for fingerprints, but there was no point. Even if Yuri himself had written the card, sending flowers to a woman wasn’t an arrestable offense. His sole purpose in sending them was to terrify Victoria.
Bashing Yuri’s head into a brick wall was about the only thing that would assuage the rage simmering in his blood.
By sending the flowers, Yuri was telling Victoria he could get to her any time he wanted.
His stomach clenched at the thought of Yuri laying hands on her.
“Until we figure out Yuri’s next move, you can’t go in to work. ”
“What?” She glared at him. “No! I have to go to work tomorrow. I have a job and clients who need me.”
“You can’t help them if you’re dead.” The words had come out harsher than intended, but if that’s what it took to convince her that her life was in danger, so be it. He tried gentling his voice. “At least take a few days off.”
“I can’t.” She crossed the room to stand inches from him. “I need the money, and I owe Brad four years working there before he’ll fund my doctorate. I’ve only been there for three. And I already told you, I won’t hide for the rest of my life.”
He admired her grit, her courage, and her determination. All those traits showed him how strong she’d become in the years he’d been absent from her life. Those same traits also scared him to death. “I can’t lose another woman I—”
“Another woman you what?” She narrowed her eyes, continuing to stare at him, this time with curiosity.
Saying the word—love—would only make it worse. Besides, it was just a word. What he needed to do was show her.
He opened a cabinet door beneath his big screen TV and slid out a cardboard box.
He set the box on the coffee table and pulled out the thick, leather embossed photo album sitting on top of a pile of pink origami animals he’d made long ago but hadn’t looked at in years.
“You were right when you said I know everything about you, and you know practically nothing about me.” Like his entire life. The good, the bad, and the ugly.
He sat on the sofa and patted the cushion. When she’d sat beside him, he placed the album in her lap. “This is my past.”
Almost reverently, she skimmed the cover with her fingertips, as if she were afraid of what she would find. He, too, was afraid of reliving the worst moments of his life, but he’d do it anyway. He had to. For her. “Go ahead. Open it.”
His parents had put together the first part of the album.
There were photos of him playing with his brothers as kids, senior prom pics, those taken at high school and college football and baseball games.
Him and his teammates grinning like idiots as they held up an enormous gold trophy after winning a college bowl game.
She turned the page to the next stage of his life. With the Army Green Berets.
“I went into the Army right after college and eventually got recruited for the Green Berets. They sent me to the Department of Defense Language Institute. Most people struggle learning Russian. For some reason, it came easily to me. Then I lived with a Russian family and learned about the culture, the food, the customs.”
“I see.” A frown line creased the smooth skin on her forehead. “That’s how you were able to blend in so easily with us.”
Over the album, their gazes met. “Yes.” There was no denying it, and he wondered if his deception would always come between them. Only time would tell.
She took a deep breath. “I do understand it had nothing to do with me. You didn’t even know me then.”
“That’s true, but I know you now. It’s time you knew more about me.” He flipped to the next page and a photo he hadn’t seen in years—a wedding photo of him and Diane.
“Oh, Kyle,” Victoria said in a sad tone that told him she’d already intuited their marriage hadn’t ended in divorce. “She’s beautiful.”
“She was.” For the first time, he managed to look at the photo without the lump of guilt threatening to choke the life out of him.
That day, her brown hair had swirled softly around her face, her huge brown eyes smiling with all the love they’d had for each other.
He’d nearly tripped over the long train of her dress.
“I got married at the end of my hitch. Her name was Diane. She was a flight attendant I met flying home from Germany. Our jobs limited our time together, but we got married anyway with the understanding that, when the time was right, I would ask for reassignment in the States so we could start a family.”
When she would have turned to the next page, he stopped her.
“I started hunting around for duty stations in the U.S. when Mike Morrison recruited me for the FBI. I was scheduled to report to Quantico, Virginia for training, when another overseas mission came up that I couldn’t refuse.
It was only supposed to be one more assignment, but one led to another and—” He heard the regret, the eviscerating sadness in his own voice. “While I was away, Diane was killed.”
“I’m so sorry.” She rested her hand atop his. “What happened?”
“Car accident.” For a moment, his eyes glistened, but he blinked and not a single tear fell.
“It was my fault. If I’d left the Army when I was supposed to, when I promised her I would, instead of feeding my ego for that last mission, she wouldn’t have been in the car that day, at that intersection, and she wouldn’t have died. ”
“Maybe not,” Victoria said. “But you not being there didn’t kill her. Another car did. You have to know it wasn’t your fault, and you can’t keep blaming yourself.”
This time, when she put her hand on his shoulder, it was with a firmness, a conviction meant to convince him.
For the first time in years, he started to believe the words she’d said.
Though he’d heard them all before from his parents and brothers, they were actually starting to sink in and take root.
Fate was a bitch, and he could no sooner control it than he could control which way the wind blew.
“There’s more.” Without looking down, he flipped to the next page.
Victoria gasped, and her hand flew to her mouth. The small picture centered in the middle of the page showed Diane––very pregnant. His wife and child had died that day.
“Oh…Kyle.” She looked at him through tear-filled eyes. “Losing them both must have been unbearable.”
“It was.” Probably always would be, but maybe his world wouldn’t implode again like he expected it to.
“She was on her way to a checkup I should have been there for. She was broad-sided by a delivery truck. I saw the car afterward. The driver’s side was demolished.
Doctors said she never had a chance, and neither did the baby. ”
The second he’d gotten the call, he’d flown home. By the time his plane had landed, she was already gone. The only thing that had kept his knees from crashing onto the morgue floor were his brothers holding him upright.
“I should have been there.” Even to him, his voice sounded dark and filled with pain. “But I wasn’t, and I have to live with it.”
Another first. He’d said the words, only this time he meant them.
“I don’t know what to say.” The tears wetting her cheeks were for him, and he didn’t deserve a single one.