Chapter 23
Itook a sip of my drink, unintentionally glaring at Asher.
It wasn’t his fault, but still…. There was a crowd of girls standing around him across the yard, flirting with him.
He wasn’t flirting back; in fact, he wasn’t really saying much, but all the same.
It seemed to bother me, and I couldn’t control the expression on my face.
His gaze slipped to mine, and he lifted a single, subtle brow. But nothing on my face changed. Dipping his hand in his pocket, he pulled out his phone and typed something. Mine vibrated in my free hand, tearing my annoyed stare away from him.
I glanced at the text and pursed my lips.
What’s that look for?
He should know.
So every other girl in the world can flirt with you in public, but not me?
I quickly tapped send, and then waited for the usual bubbles. They appeared, and a smirk lit upon his face. The group of girls around him hadn’t even noticed he wasn’t paying them any attention as he typed an answer.
That’s up to you, Princess. But what happens as a result would be out of my control;)
I lifted my gaze to meet his again, a satisfied smile on his face, and he shoved his phone back in his pocket.
Sydney was in the group, flirting away, so what harm would come if I joined in? Wouldn’t it simply look like I was doing just as everyone else was?
Taking another swig of my drink, I placed the glass down on the garden table and began walking to him.
Tera shot herself directly in front of me, and I skidded to a stop.
“What do you think you’re doing?” she hissed.
Everything Asher had said to me slipped back into my head. Did Sydney or Tera really care about me, or did they only care to keep everything the same because of what they wanted from me? I simply shrugged my shoulders and tried to step around her.
“Don’t you dare.” She placed a hand against my shoulder and stopped me. “Let Sydney have her moment. You already ignored my warning. You really want to keep going?”
“So, tell her,” I snapped, annoyed.
“Wh-wh-what?”
“Exactly. You won’t.”
“Oh, yeah? I’ll go over there right now and tell her.” She crossed her arms.
I lifted a brow and sighed, unbothered. “Okay.”
Widening her eyes, she blinked rapidly but didn’t move.
“You know if you tell her, it will change the entire dynamic of our relationship, and since you still need things from me, you won’t chance changing it by telling her,” I calmly said.
“I-I-I don’t need you,” she quietly stammered.
“No? So you don’t need me to come pick you up when you’re high and drunk at random times of the night?
You don’t need me to drive you to and from places other than work?
You don’t need me to make all of your different appointments for you anymore or pick up your groceries?
You can take care of all of that on your own now?
” I listened to myself list off only a few of the things that I did for her without complaint or hesitation in disbelief.
Saying just those few things out loud sounded more insane than I realized.
And that wasn’t even everything. For every girl in our group of friends, I did all of that.
Except Megan took care of her own groceries.
I was wherever they needed, whenever. Picking them up, dropping them off.
Buying them things, scheduling them things, reminding them of important appointments, even cleaning their apartments at times.
And what did they do for me? Throw a birthday party once a year? Let me tag along to things? Sydney at least put effort into getting me to join her on her outings, but all of that was still, in the end, for themselves.
“You said that things were done with him,” Tera attempted to argue again.
“Then stop worrying about me.” I didn’t deny it but wasn’t confirming it either.
“Why’d you have to go and upset things?”
“I didn’t. And I’m not going over there to piss off Sydney. This is my birthday party after all, so I should be allowed to mingle with whoever I want, or did you already forget that?”
Tera frowned, glaring at me. “Whatever.”
I didn’t answer and began walking over to the group once more. Tera decided to follow and pushed her way in front of me right before I broke into the crowd. She immediately threw a hand around Sydney and laughed at whatever Sydney was giggling about.
Asher lifted a brow, and I shook my head, telling him to not worry about it. Honestly, I felt strangely light. Even with the possibility that Tera might tell Sydney, I oddly didn’t care. At least not at this moment.
Sydney suddenly swung around, facing me.
“Girl! I have your birthday present inside. Come on!” she said and then paused.
“Bye, Asher.” She grinned at him, wiggling her fingers, and then dragged me to her parents’ mansion.
I didn’t even have a chance to say anything to Asher, and I could feel Tera’s smirk behind me while stumbling after Sydney.
With Sydney’s hands covering my eyes, I heard a door close behind us. There were a few more footsteps crossing the hardwood floor, and then she pulled her hands away. “Ta-da!” she said, gesturing to the room. I furrowed my brows, confused.
In front of me was a woman, holding a camera.
There were fancy lights available, able to be moved from the bench beneath the arched window to my left, to the grand piano across from me.
We were in another one of Sydney’s parents’ sitting rooms, beautiful, expensive couches off to the right with a crackling fireplace beside them.
Exquisite paintings hung from the walls, and a plush rug was placed upon the floor.
“What am I looking at?” I asked, and Sydney clapped her hands.
“This is Isabella. She’s a boudoir photographer! I booked you a boudoir session!” Sydney grinned, gesturing at the curvy woman with the most beautiful fountain curls.
I tipped my head, a little confused.
“I know, I know. It’s not your traditional birthday present.
But I figured, since everything went down with Danny, your sexy confidence was probably in the tank.
I had her do one for me a few weeks ago and thought you should have one too,” Sydney explained, noticing my confusion.
“It made me feel absolutely gorgeous, so I guess I wanted to gift you the same thing.”
Honestly, out of all of the birthday presents she’d given me before, this one actually piqued my interest. Normally, whatever it was she gave me, also benefited her. This one definitely felt a little more thoughtful—though it still benefited her.
“Hi, Cosette. It’s nice to meet you!” Isabella said, walking forward and extending her hand to shake. “Call me Izzy.” I grasped her hand but remained silent, giving myself a moment to process what was going on.
“Thank you, Syd,” I finally said, glancing at my best friend.
Maybe she was just immature and not being insensitive.
She’d grown up a spoiled, only child, so maybe in her mind, everything she did wasn’t malicious or selfish, it’s just how things worked.
Okay, maybe I was also feeling a little guilty and trying to justify things helped.
“Well.” She grinned again. “I’ll leave you guys to it!” And she disappeared from the room.
I tossed a thumb at the door. “She’s not staying?”
“Do you want her to stay?” Izzy asked, walking over to the right where she had a table set up, littered with jumbled articles of clothing. Beside it was a dressing screen, propped up in the corner of the room.
“I mean, she bought me a photoshoot?” I slowly wandered her way.
“If you’re comfortable with her seeing you in these outfits, then why not?” Izzy smiled, sifting through some makeup, and pulled a chair forward.
“Comfortable in what outfits? I’m confused.”
She patted the seat. “Confused? About what?”
I walked over and plunked myself down. Suddenly, Izzy was changing my makeup, applying more than I normally did and differently than I do.
“Why would I not be comfortable with her seeing me in different outfits? We go shopping together,” I replied, keeping my eyes closed.
“Honey, this is a boudoir photoshoot.” She stated as if that explained everything, her voice higher and sweet. For whatever reason, I felt immediately comfortable around her.
“I don’t know what that means.” I figured it was just some fancy word for a high-end photoshoot, like the kind rich women got so they could frame a massive portrait of themselves and hang it over a fireplace.
“You’re going to be naked or in very skimpy lingerie,” Izzy bluntly stated, and my eyes flew open.
“I’m sorry, what?” I gasped.
She giggled, a soft smile on her rosy face. “Yes, honey. This type of photoshoot is for you to celebrate your body. To make you feel confident and sexy and to see yourself as the drop-dead gorgeous goddess you are.”
She tapped some lip gloss on my lips while I stared at her in shock.
“You’re being serious.”
She nodded.
“You take pictures of me naked, or nearly naked.”
She nodded again.
“I don’t know how to pose all sexy or whatever,” I mumbled, feeling extremely shy.
“I help with all of that. Just relax and have fun with this, okay? Now, close your eyes. I need to touch up a little bit of your eyeshadow, and then we can pick out your first outfit.”
My mind was reeling, thoughts crashing through it.
I’d never thought about doing something like this before, but now that I had, what would be the harm in maybe catering a little bit of it for Asher?
Would he want something like this? I could do whatever I wanted with the pictures, right, since they were of me?
So, I could maybe give him one or two? Or was it too soon?
But his bite mark hadn’t started fading yet, so I could proudly display that for him.
“Hold on. Sydney told me about this beer poster trend girls did for their partners a while ago. Is this like a professional version of that?” I gasped in realization.
She laughed, and I opened my eyes. “That’s one way to put it.”
“So, if I possibly wanted to do something like that for a couple of the shots to give someone, would that be possible?”
She sprayed some setting spray on my face and raised her brows. “You want me to edit a couple pictures into a beer poster?”
“Sort of?” I tipped my head as she rifled through what I now knew were different lingerie pieces. “Not beer, though. Like a music poster. You know when someone has a concert or whatever?”
“Your boyfriend is a musician?”
My heart jumped in my chest, and I bit my bottom lip.
My boyfriend.
That he was.
“Yes,” I answered giddily.
She grinned and held up the first string, lacy piece of lingerie. “I think we can make that work. Now go put this on and let’s get started.”
It definitely took a minute to figure out how to get this thing positioned on my body, but I eventually figured it out, and we got to work.
I hated to admit that Sydney had been right.
As Izzy helped me position my body, changed my lingerie out, my confidence was growing and growing.
She took several shots that focused on my tattoo, on the bite mark, both were once again a request from me with Asher in mind.
When she showed me some of the photos, I couldn’t believe that it was actually me in the pictures.
During the shoot, someone brought in one of the microphone stands that had been on the stage downstairs, and then Izzy told me to take everything off, except for the pair of heels on my feet.
“As in get naked?” I gasped, and she nodded.
“I’m going to have you hold the microphone stand with one hand strategically placed in front of your coochie.
The other hand will hold the microphone itself, but you’ll be standing close enough that your elbow will cover one nipple, and then your hair can cover the other side.
Now go.” She waved both hands at me, but I was frozen in place.
“Cosette, you asked for something like this for your boyfriend. Now go on, take that off,” she stated again.
I swallowed stiffly and took a deep breath before eventually stripping down completely. Doing my best to keep myself as covered as possible, I sheepishly walked over to the microphone stand. The background was the greenscreen that she’d put up in front of the bookshelf beside the piano.
“Be proud of your body, honey. You’re gorgeous!” Izzy said and then helped me place my hands at the perfect angle. “Now pretend to sing, and I want you to look at the camera like it’s your boyfriend and you’re horny as fuck.”
I nearly choked on my snort. I definitely hadn’t expected that. But it helped get me comfortable, and the camera began clicking. She moved me around to a few other positions, used the guitar to cover my not-so-hidden body, and then I had one last thought.
This one was for me, though. For the side of me that I kept hidden from everyone. Everyone except for Asher.
Izzy found a white, see-through lace bralette and then walked me over to the piano.
I sat on the bench, facing away from the keys, and then leaned back.
One hand I placed between my legs, gripping the seat to cover myself there.
Izzy slipped the strap off my shoulder on that same arm and then had me thread my other fingers through my hair above my head.
“Stunning,” she whispered, and I heard the camera clicking away again.
For once in my life, I agreed with her. For just a small moment, I did feel stunning. Confident and sexy. For one minuscule, fleeting minute, I felt like the main character. That I was the star of the show, and most importantly, that it was okay to be.
Just this once. And my mind drifted to Asher.
It wasn’t just this once. Anytime I was with him, I felt like this. Closing my eyes, a small smile slid across my lips. To hell with all the guilt that I was feeling. I wanted to be selfish when it came to him. Because every girl deserved to feel the way I did when I was with him.