Chapter 38 #2
He’d waited three years for a possibility, not even a guarantee, and yet not an ounce of anger resonated from his palm resting gently against my cheek.
I closed my eyes, inhaling deeply as everything else except for him faded around me. His body heat engulfed me, comforting and soothing the aches in my joints from years of worry. My lawyer had been right.
At first.
Now, I no longer felt the need to remain hidden from the danger that lurked in shadows if Asher was willing to take that chance with someone as broken as I was.
His body shifted in front of me, closing even more of the gap that separated us, and that familiar citrus and bergamot scent wafted across me like a gentle breeze during the fall.
Coals of desire that hadn’t been lit in years flickered with hope, and a single piano key faintly pinged in the back of my mind.
I cracked my eyelids back open to find his gaze fixated on my lips with innocence and tender love written in every tightened line upon his face. A smile widened my own mouth, and I reached forward with a trembling hand.
“It’s been so quiet,” I involuntarily whispered. His brows flickered together in brief confusion. I knew he had no idea what I was talking about, but it didn’t matter. Not right now. Not when I realized that another note played in my head.
My heart pounded so loudly, I could’ve sworn he could hear it. My gaze darted down to his plump lips, waiting for mine. His desire hadn’t waned in three years, even after I’d up and left him. Even though I’d run away.
And it seemed mine hadn’t either.
Tipping up on my toes, I hovered, a centimeter away from his mouth.
He exhaled a shaky breath that danced across my face, and then he closed the distance.
Velvet lips pressed tenderly against mine, capturing a kiss three years overdue.
Both of his hands cupped my cheeks, pulling me deeper into him. Instinctively, I grabbed the sides of his shirt and twisted my fingers around the fabric. I wanted him closer.
No, I needed him closer.
I tugged while leaning into his embrace. Safety enveloped me as his hands left my face and slid down to my waist. He wrapped his arms around my body and tightened his hold as if in desperation to make up for all the lost time between us.
He’d waited years for a chance. I’d waited a lifetime for the security that only he provided.
We broke apart just long enough to catch our breath and dove back in for another kiss. Tipping my head forward, I threw my arms around his neck and lost myself in his velvet passion.
He slid his hands beneath my thighs and picked me up.
Shoving papers back, he set me on my desk and stepped deeper between my legs.
There was no lust that wafted between us.
No. As his lips worked against mine, and his hands caressed every new roll that existed on my body now, he seemed to merely want to memorize the changes so he’d never forget. And I wanted that too.
Threading my fingers through his hair, I parted my lips, and he didn’t hesitate to shove his tongue into my mouth.
This was my choice. My decision.
He was my choice.
And the music played.
Freed from the cage that had held every note captive for the past three years, it all burst forth. Control over my life flowed like black ink across a musical composition. The familiarity of his body flush with mine roared like the fire growing within my drumming heart.
Notes swirled in my head, stars driven by every musical cadence possessed within my soul burst forward.
Colors played within my vision, swirling his body within mine.
His touch. His kiss. His smell. Everything so hollow swarmed with a heat as passionate as his tongue that danced between my teeth.
It dripped as wet as the slide of his mouth down my neck.
Fingers pushed the edges of my sleeves off my shoulders, and teeth nipped at my collarbone while I tipped my head back. I soaked in the caress of his velvet kiss upon my skin.
Him. I knew what had been missing; I knew it had been him. All I’d wanted was the piece of me that came into my life at exactly the right moment, right when I needed it. Which had been him.
Once again, he was here, giving me exactly that. Giving me back the control and power ripped from me so long ago. Despite leaving him, despite anguish that I knew I’d caused, here he was, freely giving me his heart once again. Even at the risk of it being broken, he still offered it to me.
And I gave him mine.
He was a part of me. He always had been. I wanted someone to know all of me as he did, crave all of me, even the own parts of my soul that terrified me. He knew the anguish, the pain, the excruciating death that once clawed so closely at my door.
His lips made their way back to my mouth, and I slid my hands to his chest. He was my anchor in this life of a sinking ship. Calloused fingers slipped above my ears and threaded into my hair.
Our lips lingered, caught like Velcro for a moment longer, before we slowly broke apart. I kept my eyes closed, allowing myself to remain in the kiss even after it had ended.
“You know, it’s still there,” I whispered, my lips brushing against his as I spoke. It seemed he hadn’t quite pulled away completely either.
“What is?” His breath whispered against my mouth.
Cracking my eyelids open, I smiled even wider as I found him with his head still tilted and his eyes closed, so close to me I could see each individual dark lash.
“It was my choice to ask you for it, and after everything happened, I started picking at the scab. My therapist said it was a way for me to subconsciously remind myself I once had a choice and would again,” I explained and dropped my hands from his chest.
He finally opened his beautiful eyes and furrowed his thick brows. “You asked me for it?”
Nodding, I grabbed the hem of my dress. “I guess I didn’t want to let you go either.”
His gaze darted down to my fingers, and then a light sparked in his eyes. “Can I…Can I see it?” he whispered.
I nodded.
His hands closed over mine as he took a half step back and allowed me room to spread my legs a little wider. The tension that swirled in the air wasn’t uncomfortable, but a silent confession that in a way, I guess I’d waited three years for him too.
Pushing the fabric up sent goosebumps erupting upon my skin.
My choice. Being vulnerable like this with him was fully my choice. He’d verbally asked for permission, and not as some ruse to gain control and power over me.
His chest expanded with a sharp inhale, and he stopped pushing my skirt up the moment his bite mark was exposed.
My choice.
“The other scars were put on my body without my consent. But this one…” I started to explain as his gaze lingered on the single mark that had been of my own volition.
And then the peaceful bubble surrounding us burst as another major reason I’d stayed away slapped me in the face. A reason that, even though I fought it, my lawyer convinced me was the right choice.
All euphoria left my body, I was drowned in a wash of fear and guilt, realizing he didn’t know something that he should’ve known before all of this.