Chapter 42
Isat on the black piano bench, staring at keys I hadn’t touched in years.
Xander played with toys loudly on the rug in the middle of the living room, yet his incoherent blabbering seemed so distant despite his close proximity to me.
Twisting Asher’s ring between one set of fingers, my other hand lightly brushed dust off the ivory.
Or maybe this was the middle of a nightmare, and more heartbreak was on a crash course toward me.
Toward Xander. I dropped the necklace, and the ring plunked quietly against the outside of my dress as I glanced over my shoulder at the little boy.
He toddled over to a truck on the worn, linen gray couch and picked it up, saying something I wasn’t really listening to.
He was a constant reminder of the man I’d lost. A man who was back. Someone who had kissed me with every ounce of passion he could muster the moment he’d been able to. Someone who had gotten upset once my secret was no longer something kept to myself, and rightfully so.
Hidden amongst the confusion was a shimmering of relief. All the skeletons in my closet were out for Asher to see. And he seemed to still have some desire to be part of my life.
And I had to admit, I missed him. What happened three years ago didn’t hold as much sway or power over me anymore.
Honestly, any hesitation was for Xander’s sake.
Asher and I deserved a moment to talk, without pressure from anyone else around us.
No cameras, no bandmates, no friends, no students or teachers, nobody.
I grabbed my phone from beside me and unlocked it.
A quick Google search took me directly to the only pictures of Asher and me that I had access to.
I ignored what other potential articles were certainly floating around the internet after Asher’s appearance in my classroom because honestly, I didn’t want to know what people were saying.
Not yet. No, I wanted to look at photos I’d avoided for years, but now, they seemed to be the final thread weaving our stories together. A thread I was desperate to hold onto.
It wasn’t the rather… scandalous pictures of Asher and me that I was searching for—though I couldn’t help but smirk at them.
No, I simply scrolled to the one where it was of our profiles and I could stare at Asher’s face.
At the way he gazed at me with such intention and love, that it was as if I was right back in that very moment.
I wanted him to look at me like that again. Just once more. Without any confusion between us.
I wanted to hear him laugh, see that smile, and have him carelessly flirt with me again. I wanted all of that back.
Slapping the phone against my chest, I stared at the wall in shock.
There was no fear lingering from what happened.
No, I was actually a little upset that I hadn’t at least received some stupid, flirty text from him yet.
Though I held no animosity. I had hurt him by keeping Xander a secret, and therefore, I was owed nothing, and he was owed however much time and distance he needed.
Knuckles rapped against the front door, snapping me out of thoughts that gave me a slight headache. Hope surged through my body as I quickly placed the phone on the sheet music stand portion of the piano and dashed around the edge of the couch.
Another knock, more forceful than before, met my ears as I jogged past the kitchen island to my right and wrapped my hand around the black handle. I ripped the door open.
“Let us in, girl,” Emily squealed, pushing past me with a grin. She flicked a strand of red, curly hair out of her face and placed a bottle of wine on the counter beside me.
“You’re all over the news, do you know that?
” Sophie added with a giggle as she spun into my apartment.
I shook my head as my two best friends, and next-door neighbors, kicked their shoes off by the door and headed over toward the couch.
Swallowing the small amount of disappointment that it wasn’t Asher, I shut the door.
“Aunties!” Xander cried out in glee. He dropped his trucks and raced as fast as his chunky little legs could take him to Emily.
She scooped him up the moment she reached him as Sophie plopped down on the couch and kicked her feet up onto the cushions.
She brushed some lint off her black leggings and flicked her blonde hair over the armrest of the couch.
“Were you ever going to tell us?” Emily asked as she shoved Sophie’s legs down from the gray couch and sat down, keeping Xander in her arms. He babbled incoherently to her, sharing stories that none of us would ever understand.
“Tell you what?” I slowly wandered back over to the piano bench. But I knew what they were referring to.
“Your baby daddy is none other than Asher fucking Stone!” Emily grabbed Xander’s hands and did a little dance as Sophie shook her head and shot Emily a side eye.
“Watch your language with Xander around,” she admonished Emily and then looked back at me. “But seriously, why would you keep that from us?”
I inhaled deeply, and my hand instinctively rose to his ring.
They’d never really asked about Xander’s dad before, and it never casually came up in conversation.
Plus, they’d been amazing from the moment we met concerning how vague I was about my past. I knew why they were curious now.
I mean, it was out for the world to see.
But all the same, explaining to them everything that went down wasn’t exactly something I wanted to relive, even if I wasn’t afraid any longer.
“It’s complicated, and would you have actually believed me?” I replied and gave them a small smile.
Emily giggled. “Probably not. Asher Stone is not only the embodiment of a bad boy, but he’s also famous. And here we are, living in one of the smallest towns in the middle of nowhere. At least nobody can accuse you of trying to baby trap him for money or some shit like that.”
Xander crawled out of Emily’s lap and over to Sophie. Her green eyes sparkled as the toddler cuddled up against her oversized, blue T-shirt. “Though, if you’d shown us that ring you’re playing with, it would’ve made things harder to deny,” Sophie nonchalantly added.
My eyes widened, and I quickly tucked it back into my dress.
Emily wiggled her brows. “His fans have gone mad trying to figure out where it went the past three years.”
“Well, neither of you ever mentioned being fans of Void,” I snipped in response with a raised brow and widening smile.
“Your layers run deep, Cosi. So deep.” Emily grinned and leaned back against the couch. “So, what are you going to do?”
I glanced out the window, staring at the setting sun in the sky. “Wait,” I whispered. That was all I could do, unless I went back to the stadium like some obsessed fangirl.
“What does ‘wait’ even mean?” Sophie asked as she drew her brows together.
The ball was in Asher’s court. He could text me, call me, or show up at my apartment’s front door at this point. He had my phone number and address. He knew about Xander, and so all I could do now was wait for Asher to decide what he wanted to do next.
Or maybe whatever Asher was wrestling with was something else entirely. I’d always subconsciously imagined he’d make a great dad someday. I slid my bare toe against the beige hardwood and stared at the ground.
“Asher knows where to find me,” I finally said.
Sophie continued to quietly play with a truck Xander offered her as she spoke. “Give him some time. He just found out he’s got a kid.”
“True true…” I mumbled and watched Xander for a moment.
He was blissfully unaware just how much his life had changed if Asher wanted to be his dad.
Apprehension filled my soul as I could only imagine just what Asher was trying to wrestle with.
Forgiveness for me because I kept this a secret?
Maybe coming to terms with the shift in responsibility Xander brought?
Was he mourning the fact that he missed out on over two years of being in his son’s life?
Was he unsure if he even wanted to be a dad?
Though that last question seemed like the weakest one.
“What are all the articles saying about this?” I asked, wanting to fill the silence to drown out the impatient thoughts tumbling in my mind.
Emily tightened her messy bun, her brown eyes meeting mine.
“They’ve not really been focused on you much, other than how you’re some random nobody from nowhere.
They’re more focused on Asher and the shocking reveal that he’s a dad.
They want to know what he’s going to do, how this will affect his career, and things like that.
” She dug into her jeans pocket and pulled out her phone, quickly tapping away on the screen.
Emily tipped her head, and then a grin widened on her face.
“These pictures were of you, weren’t they?” She flipped her cell around and showed me the very article that had once been the source of a headache for me three years ago but now offered me a little bit of hope.
“What pictures?” Sophie asked and grabbed Emily’s arm. She turned the screen toward Sophie, and I watched green eyes nearly bug out of her head. “I remember that! The entire internet was up in arms about that girl.” She whipped her eyes up at me. “Oh, he’s gooood,” she dragged out.
“Good?” I questioned.
“The way he handled things in your classroom. You could’ve ended up being hated on again, but instead, despite knowing who you are, everyone is focused on the fact that Asher is a dad and there’s hardly anything about you being some sort of…” Her voice trailed off.
“Slut? Whore?” I exhaled and shook my head.
“Well, I mean, isn’t that what the fangirls were calling you when this article came out?” Emily locked her phone and slipped it back into her pocket. She pulled her plump lips into a thin line and shared a knowing glance with Sophie.