Chapter 17 #2
He dipped his chin and pressed deeper into me. His fingers gripped me with strength and professionalism.
"I want you to sit with me and listen to what I have to say.
Listen to my critique." His inflection caused certain words to have more emphasis.
"Watch the other athletes around you, focus on them.
Remember, Ria, they are going to have the advantage of being much younger than you and with a lot more vigor.
You are talented, and while I have faith in you, you need to see firsthand what you are up against."
Kova switched legs and my heart crumpled a little. I didn't like this idea. It felt a little like torment and taunting at what I should've had but had viciously been ripped from me. I should've been competing at this meet, but thanks to Kova and his asinine decision, I was forced to withdraw.
"Breathe deep from in here," he placed a flat hand on my stomach and I jumped. Kova took a long, deep breath, his chest barely rising, and inhaled through his nose. I mimicked him, my eyes locked with his.
"Good. Now up," he ordered and gestured to the floor mat. "On your back. Hands by your side."
"Words I'm sure you love saying."
I slapped my mouth. The sarcasm flew from my lips without thought. I squeezed my eyes shut. Controlling my mouth around this man was my greatest challenge.
The corners of his mouth curled in an amusing smile. "Just because you and I have had a…liaison, I will let that one slide. But no more. Focus, Ria. Focus."
My jaw slackened, I gave him a droll stare. "A liaison? Good God, Kova, you need to take an English class and expand your vocabulary."
"When would you expect me to do that?" he asked. "Hmm? At midnight once I finish my office work? My free hours are spent working on your weaknesses and I am not even being compensated for it."
"You make me sound like a charity case."
"You are," he clipped, looking deep in my eyes. Talk about a punch to the gut. "That is exactly what you are. I am going out of my way to help and improve you, but only because I believe in you."
I glanced away. "That was cruel, Kova," I said quietly, laying on my back.
He was completely unaware of how hurtful his words could be. They crushed my heart, and while I knew it was his way of giving constructive criticism, they still caused damage in the end.
"You eat up my extra time. There is no room for anything else right now, especially since it is meet season."
I ignored that little jab and tried not to grind my teeth. "See, 'eat up' doesn't sound right."
"It does not matter to me, it is not relevant right now." Kova shook his head and dropped to his knees.
"If you took classes, you could learn contractions so you don't sound like a robot."
Kova squinted his eyes in my direction. "That is the last thing on my mind. If that is what you are thinking about right now, then I am not doing my job correctly." His eyes flared with new ideas.
I flattened my lips.
He huffed. "Okay. I will accompany you when you go to tutoring. Happy now?"
"No."
Sitting back on his knees, Kova huffed out a breath and pointed a finger at me. "Do not break, do you hear me? You will lose it all at the slightest fracture."
"What?"
"Do not break," he repeated slowly, like I should've understood what he meant the first time.
"I can see it in your face. Focus on the big picture.
Let the words roll off your back and forget them.
" Kova lowered his voice and his eyes softened as he said, "Remember, when we are inside these walls, I am not here to be your friend, I am not here to be nice.
I am here for one reason, and one reason only.
Eventually, you will thank me, but only if you just listen to what I say. "
"With how mean you can be, I really can't see that ever happening." I truly couldn't see myself thanking him. "What? Thank you for being an egotistical, hard-ass dickhead? Highly doubtful."
His eyes twinkled with mirth and I felt the corners of my mouth tugging up.
"You will see," he retorted, smirking. "Just remember what I said."
Slipping a hand under my lower back, his palm was warm. "Lift," he ordered. "Feet flat on the floor, shoulders flat, chin up."
Once I elevated my hips, he placed a hand on my pelvis again and signaled for me to breathe.
His palm spread across my abdomen the way a wildfire spread over grassland.
Each finger grazed my skin with heat, igniting a scorching trail in its wake.
Intensity blazed inside of me and I released a soft breath.
I kept my eyes focused on the ceiling. They didn't deter in his direction like they had in the past that had only led to terribly wonderful things.
"Bring your hips down for three seconds, then raise them again."
We did this at least eighty more times in silence, maybe more.
I stopped counting, and by the time we finished, I was surprisingly out of breath.
My pelvis was tight. I finally looked at him, but Kova was already staring at me hard, unabashed, leaving a path of hunger as his eyes danced down my body.
Small droplets of sweat trickled down my temples.
He could look if he wanted to. In fact, I hoped he did.
Kova picked up an ankle and extended my leg. Then he took my bent knee and crossed it over my stretched leg and leaned down. I grunted while he applied pressure, flattening my lips as I grimaced.
"Why, after all this time, does it still hurt to stretch out?"
Kova studied my face. He was so close I could see the thin black webs against his lime green irises. Hypnotic. I thought his lips were his best feature, but his eyes captivated me on a whole other level.
"Muscles go through constant stress during exercise.
At the rate you are going, yours will bear much more stress than normal.
The beauty behind stretching out is"—he stood up and used his hands to talk—"yes, you are lengthening the muscle, and yes, you are manipulating it, but you are also helping it relieve the pressure by gently warming it down and breaking down the buildup.
Since you have been off for holiday, once the soreness hits, you will be in more pain than usual.
Keep Motrin on hand. Cooling down like we are now after a workout will help but will not alleviate it completely.
If you want, come see me every night before you go home this week and I will stretch you out," Kova offered, then added, "Remember what I told you about training your brain to think a certain way? "
"Yes, and it was the most ridiculous thing I'd ever heard at the time." An airy laugh left my lungs. "It made sense though."
Kova slowly brought his hands down to his sides and closed his mouth.
Lowering his voice, he spoke each word like he wanted to sink his teeth into my skin and rip it off.
"Do not mock me, Adrianna. Nothing I teach is ridiculous, it all has a purpose.
You know, my patience is running thin. Everything I do for you, to your body, has a reason.
Sometimes I think you are too naive to see it right now. "
I sat up. I tried not to take offense to that because he didn't take me in jest when I meant it that way. "No, I'm not. You misund—"
"Just shut up, take what I give you." His voice was angry and brash. "And fucking say thank you when I am done."
My jaw dropped. "I do take it," I bit out. "When do I not?"
The energy in the room shifted, and the aggravated energy emitting off him could be felt within a five-mile radius.
"Have you ever once said thank you to me? After all the times you have demanded from me, have you ever once said thank you?"
I pulled back and mused over his words. My forehead creased as I struggled to think. Moments flashed through my head like a camera taking pictures. Conversations, practices, moments when we were alone. Realization dawned on me. I swallowed, ashamed I'd never thanked him.
"That is what I thought. Instead you mock my training methods.
" He let out a harsh laugh. "Guess what, sweetheart?
I got my medals already. I have traveled to international meets.
I have been World Champion, and I have been to the Olympics.
I have accomplished everything I wanted to—with the help from a coach ten times worse than me.
You, however, have none of that. And the road you keep traveling down, you never will. "
Kova looked down at his hands and brushed off the excess chalk. His head bobbed with an arrogant, puckered mouth.
Giving me his back, he coolly walked toward the door.
"Where are you going?" I asked in an elevated tone.
"We are done here," he said flatly.
"No, we're not. We have thirty minutes left."
Kova spun around. A gut-wrenching smile slid across his face. "If you will excuse me, I am going to devote my time to someone who truly wants it. My girlfriend."
"You're an asshole."
"Tell me something I do not know," he retorted, leaving the therapy room.
"See! Contractions would be useful there!" I yelled. I heard him grunt, but he never came back.
That night while sitting in the bathtub—a steaming hot bathtub I might add—I reflected over my conversation with Kova and how we left the gym.
Truthfully, it was all I could think about since I got home.
I was sick to my stomach because he was completely right.
I came across as unappreciative and that was the last thing I'd ever want him to think.
I wasn't. Aside from all the bullshit outside the gym, I was more than grateful for all the effort he put in.
I demanded so much and he gave it to me when he didn't have to.
I felt awful for never once saying thank you. I felt the right thing to do was shoot Kova a text message.
I'm so sorry I upset you earlier. You were right. I've never thanked you for all that you’ve done for me. Thank you. I really do appreciate it more than words could ever express.
Surprisingly, he responded.
Coach: XX