Chapter 57
Fifty-Seven
I didn't bother saying goodbye to my parents, not while they were having a screaming match in their bedroom that was based on the foundation around my birth.
Instead, I left a note on the table in the foyer, and made sure Xavier told them I was gone. I didn't think they'd have a problem, it was a blessing in disguise, really.
I hit the highway with my phone face down and on silent, headed down to Cape Coral. I turned up the music, lowered the windows, and for the next few hours, I drove in peace with nothing but miles of black asphalt in front of me as the wind carried my worries away.
It was sheer bliss until I pulled into my complex and parked my Escalade.
I'd missed fourteen calls from my dad, and a slew of text messages from Kova and Avery that I didn't bother opening. A stream of anxiety rushed through my veins with thoughts of a death. I was instantly overwhelmed with dread.
No one called that many times unless it was an emergency.
Before I got out of my truck, I called my father back. Kova could wait. Fourteen missed calls was extremely nerve-racking.
The phone rang for a split second before he picked it up.
"Hey, Dad," I said.
"Ana? Are you okay? Where are you?" He was frantic.
"Yeah… I'm totally fine. Why? Is everything okay with you? Why did you call so many times?"
"You left without saying goodbye, before I could explain things to you."
I sulked. Another person who needed to explain things and eventually apologize to me.
"Yeah, sorry about that. I hope Xavier told you I left?"
"Yes, but sweetheart," he said, his tone coming down a notch, "you shouldn't have left the way you did. You were not in the right frame of mind. What if you had an accident or something? You could've been hurt, and Adrianna, if anything ever happened to you, my life would be over."
My heart softened for him. He truly felt bad. "I just felt like things would be better if I was gone, so I hit the road. I have a meet coming up anyway, so I could use the extra conditioning. It's not a big deal."
"It's a big deal to me."
A small smile tipped my lips and I climbed out of my truck. Grabbing my bag, I made my way up to my condo while Dad went on to apologize profusely until I had to cut him off.
"Dad, it's okay. It's fine, I'll deal. It all makes sense, really. I just wish I'd known the truth from the beginning."
"That's the other thing…" He trailed off.
I had the key in the deadbolt and halted, grabbing my stomach from the sound of those four words, wondering what else he could say that would cause worse damage.
"I know I said I never planned on telling you, but that wasn't the whole truth either.
I just hadn't planned until you were at least eighteen, maybe twenty-one, and not with so much on your plate. "
My shoulders dropped in relief. I quickly unlocked the door and went inside.
"Well, that honestly makes me feel better.
I hated the thought of going through my whole life not knowing I'm someone's dirty little secret and constantly questioning why my mother detests me so much.
Seriously, Dad, it all makes sense now." I bit my lip.
I tried hard not to be sarcastic, but I knew it came out that way.
"Sweetie, you're not a dirty little secret. It breaks my heart to hear you say that. Things were done to protect this family. I hope one day you'll come to understand that."
A tremble racked my body at the reality of my life and what their utmost concerns were. It was a grand spectacle of wealth and power. A who’s who and whatnot. Emotions did not mingle with the formula and were left to be dealt with after, if they ever were.
It was in that moment that I realized I would never treat my children in the same manner. I'd put them first. I'd do everything I could to not be like my parents.
"As usual, appearance is first and foremost for the Rossi family. Everything else comes after." I hesitated, debating whether to ask my next question. "How many people know?"
"Know what?"
"Dad."
He sighed deeply. "Very, very few. We went to great lengths to remain discreet."
And didn't that make me feel grimier than ever.
"Please, I want to know who. I deserve at least that much."
Dad paused long enough that I pulled the phone away to see if we'd been disconnected.
"Just the Herons. No one else. Not even your biological mother's family knew anything."
My lips parted, and I reached for the counter to steady myself. How did they manage to hide it from her family? How old was she? Was she not close to her parents? Did they never see each other?
My stomach churned at all the endless possibilities flying through my mind. I was instantly nauseous and prayed to God that Avery didn't know and purposely kept it from me this whole time. That would seriously be the icing on the cake.
"Which of the Herons know?"
I held my breath.
And waited.
And waited.
And waited.
"If you're asking me if the Heron's children know, they do not. Just Michael and Lily." I exhaled a heavy breath and moved to sit on the couch. Thankfully just the parents knew. Leaning forward, I propped my elbows on my knees and dropped my head into my palm. "No one else will ever know."
"Where is she now?"
"Upstairs," Dad replied with annoyance. "I'm sorry—"
I cleared my throat. "No, my biological mom. Where is she now?"
His silence unnerved me. "It doesn't matter where she is."
"Yes, it does. It matters to me, Dad. I want to know."
He idled into his next string of words while I sat in a daze and stared at the ivory carpet. "I'm not sure where she is now. Probably long gone. I haven't spoken to her in some time."
I wasn't sure why that affected me so much when I had no real tie to her, but it did.
I couldn't fathom how a woman could carry a baby in her belly for nine months and then give it up without batting an eye.
I didn't think I would be able to. But then again, when a stressful situation arose, emotions ran amok, and people did things in haste because they thought they had no other option, only for it to end with regret later.
I was so curious about her and I'd only just found out.
I had to wonder if she had thought about me for the last seventeen years.
Dad cleared his throat. "Much to Joy's dismay, your biological mother stayed in contact for a little while after you were born. I allowed it."
"Why?"
"It was difficult for her and I felt bad. She was young, and had no one to turn to, so I gave her updates and sent photos so she could see you." He paused. "It was hard to let her go."
Tears lodged in my throat. My chest ached with heavy sadness for everyone involved. "And how did she manage to stay away for good?"
"What do you think, Ana? You're a smart girl."
I knew instantly. "Money." I shook my head. The love of money was the root of all evil and I hated it.
"How much was I worth to her?" I gripped the phone tight in my hand, waiting for his response.
"That's not something you need to know—or will ever know."
"Dad, I want to know."
"Ana, just know that I would've paid any amount for you. She couldn't give you a future on her own, not even if I gave her child support every month. She wasn't equipped mentally or financially to handle a newborn at that time, let alone emotionally."
"How do you know she wasn't able to handle a newborn? You didn't even give her the chance."
"Adrianna, what's done is done. You are priceless to me. I would do anything for you. Anything. I would've gone to the ends of the earth to protect and shelter you the way you deserved to be. She was a mess and I wasn't going to risk it."
"She was probably a mess because you took her baby from her. I bet her hormones were all out of whack."
"Adrianna, please…"
"I'm sure Joy didn't make it any better on her either. She probably saw her as competition."
His groan turned into a deep sigh. "She definitely didn't help the situation, aside from playing the role she begged for. She could've won an Academy Award."
Salty tears slipped from the corners of my eyes. I held my breath and covered my mouth so Dad wouldn't hear my silent cry. I asked for the reasoning and he gave me what I wanted. He loved me, I knew he did, but it still hurt so terribly bad to hear the truth.
"Thanks for telling me, Dad," I said, my voice was throaty and small. There was no denying how upset I was. "What's her name?"
He softly groaned, and I knew he regretted telling me anything. "Don't cry, sweetheart," he said with so much sympathy it hurt to hear his pain.
"It's just a lot to take in." I was still unsure why Mom…Joy— I didn’t even know what the hell I was supposed to call her now— turned on me the way she had, but after today, I wasn't ready to breach that topic just yet.
"That it is, and exactly why I wanted to wait until you were older. You have a lot on your plate right now."
I swallowed. "I can handle it."
"I know you can, you’re a strong girl, but I'd rather try and shield you from as much as I can for as long as possible."
A small smile tipped my lips. "I appreciate that, but eventually I'm going to have to grow up. You have to let go one day."
"I've let go a lot already, considering where you are currently living, wouldn't you say?" He didn't speak with malice or to remind me how privileged my life has been, but to show that he's been compassionate with my dreams and desires and tried to give me the life I’ve wanted.
"Yeah, I guess you have."
"One day you'll see, Ana," he said, his voice was a mixture of poise and regret.
I sighed, exhausted over so much that happened in one day. "I’m going to go now, Dad. I'll talk to you later."
"I'm here anytime you need me, and I'm truly so sorry for what happened today. I love you, Adrianna. Don't ever forget that."