19. Nick
19
NICK
“ Y ou’ve been snapping at the staff for two days, Nick,” John said, dropping into the seat across from me. “What's going on?”
“It’s personal.” I cringed. I didn’t want to treat my team badly, and yet, I knew what John was saying was true. I’d had too much stress within the last few years, and this year wasn’t getting off to the fresh start I wanted, either.
I couldn’t believe I went to Julia’s place on New Year's Eve after she told me she already had plans. I was an idiot, which was why I deserved what I saw. I wiped my hand down my face. I couldn’t believe there was another guy there. With flowers.
Each time the memory played through my mind, I felt more and more like an idiot. We did only have sex. She wouldn’t even commit to going on a date with me. I thought she was afraid to start anything with me because she was still reeling from all the big changes in her life. Also, because she said what she was feeling for me was too much, too fast. But if she had another guy swimming around her, I didn’t want to be part of that. I’d been pissed when I saw him there, touching her, handing her flowers. My anger shot through me and was to the point where I almost jumped out of my truck and knocked him out.
But… I didn’t.
My reaction was proof that I probably wasn’t stable enough to even be in a committed relationship. And I probably was too old for her. Maybe I should just leave sex as sex.
David’s words came back to me, and I hated that he might be right. Although I’d never tell him that because he didn’t need the satisfaction. Plus, he wasn’t a relationship kind of guy. Even in his forties, he preferred to not be with another person so he didn’t have to change or compromise.
That said a lot about his character, but I did get married and I did change and compromise, and it got me back to the same place he was at, except he didn’t have commitment baggage, although he had a host of other kinds of baggage. If he didn’t have anyone to share it with, wasn’t that less selfish than pushing issues and worries onto another person?
Even though I didn’t want to be the guy who just had sex for the sake of sex. But maybe it was a way that gave both Julia and me permission to move forward.
I really did want to move forward with her, though.
John moved, reminding me that he was still there, and I got caught up in my thoughts again. “I’m sorry. I'll apologize to them after my meeting. I might need a bit of a break after this, though. I need to resituate my thoughts, headspace, and stress levels.”
“Not a problem. They all know you’re a good boss, and most of them are just concerned for you. Of course, there are a few who are afraid of you now.”
I scoffed at his comment and a slight smile popped onto the corner of my mouth. “Thanks,” I said.
A knock rapped over the door, and I scrunched my eyes closed. Having Julia here was going to make it harder for me to work through my feelings about her.
She came in without being invited, although it wasn’t a problem because she was used to just walking in. My attention snapped to her. “We’re in a meeting,” I clipped.
Her mahogany eyes met mine and her cheeks turned pink. “Oh,” she said, stepping back through the doorway. “I’m sorry,” she said to John, then shifted to me.
“I’m here. I’ll wait out front.” She went to leave, and John stood.
“It’s not a problem, Julia. We’re done,” John said, looking at me with disgust, telling me he knew exactly why my mood had soured the last few days. He might not know the details, but he knew me well enough to understand what was happening.
He muttered something to Julia, and I didn’t hear if she responded. I sat forward, looking around the door, seeing Julia standing halfway in and halfway out of the threshold. “Sorry about that, Julia,” I said, keeping my voice formal. “You can come in.” I bit back my harsher words and tried to shake out of the mood I was in.
When she walked in and I saw her red lips and red coat, my dick twitched and I was pretty sure I wasn’t going to have a productive meeting with her. If I knew she wanted to pursue something with me, I would have assumed she wore the red for me.
But I did know about the guy at her place New Year's Eve, and she hadn’t bothered to contact me for any other reason, except those related to my restaurant. However, even if she remained professional, I was going to have a hard time concentrating.
“It’s been a few days,” I said as she sat and took her coat off.
“Yeah, I got your messages, but I’ve been busy with a few other projects too.” Her voice was formal, and she avoided my eyes. “I sent emails answering your questions.”
“I got them,” I said, sitting up straighter. If she was going to play at being formal, I would too, no matter how much I wanted to stick my face up her dress and bury my head between her legs. I cleared my throat and smiled when she looked at me.
Kindness and excitement flooded her face, and my heart twinged in relief that she was going to act, at least a little, like herself. “So, what I didn’t tell you is that I have two surprises.”
“Two?”
“Yes, the first is that I haggled the sign maker down fifty percent lower to what they were originally asking.” She pulled out her laptop. “I’m going to send you the contract, but I wanted to tell you first.” Her smile grew, and mine was growing with hers.
“Wow. That is exciting.” I sat forward and looked at the new price.
“We can figure out some way to do something great with the extra money, put it in a discretionary fund in case something goes sideways, or you can do something fun with the money.” She stood and clicked the screen open, leaning over just far enough that I could inhale her strawberry scent.
My eyes snapped closed. I didn’t want to be enticed by her, but I was.
Maybe I'd have to do video interviews from now on. I didn’t think I was going to be able to restrain myself if she gave me even the slightest hint she was interested, and I wasn’t about to follow anyone around like a sick puppy.
“Great,” I grumbled, not happy with the shift in my tone but unable to stop it from happening. I wasn’t going to fire her, but being in her space might just have me running down a path I didn’t want to take. I pushed my chair back a little. “Can you email it to me? I’ll look at it and sign off on it.”
She lifted her eyes to look at me. I reached over to open my screen as she sat down and clicked around on her computer. “Discretionary fund,” I said, looking over the new invoice, shocked at how she managed to do this and surprised that she would.
“What’s that?” she said.
“I’ll put it in a discretionary fund. That way, if anything comes up, I’ll have a cushion and if nothing comes up, I can put it back into the loan repayment.”
“I can do that,” she said, typing away on her laptop. I typed in my name as an electronic signature and sent it back to her. “Great, got it.” She closed the lid to her computer and slid it back into the bag.
When her eyes connected with mine, there was a sparkle in them that had me more curious about what she was going to say.
She shifted around in the chair. “So, I didn’t want to say anything until it was finalized, but I pulled a few strings and got Jack Ricky to come down for a critique of Gray’s’ food on February twelfth. We can call it a soft opening, and he’ll review your food and the review will go nationwide.” She didn't bounce in her chair from her enthusiasm, but she looked like she wanted to.
Her excitement was contagious, and I was swept away with the idea of a review going out to all the channels. It was hard getting that kind of attention if you weren’t in one of the big cities—New York City, Los Angeles, Dallas, etc.
“Wow,” I said, trying to absorb what she’d done for me, my team, and my restaurant. “That is incredible.” I scratched at my beard and tried to think of something better to say. “Uh… thank you.”
That wasn’t in the contract I’d signed, and I was more confused than ever now. Was she doing it because of our romantic involvement or was she just a really thoughtful and caring PR rep who loved doing her job? Could she be both?
“That seems like a great connection to have,” I said as she stood, picking up her briefcase. She picked up her coat. Disappointment dropped in my stomach when I saw she was ready to leave. I stood with her and stepped over.
“Do we have anything else to discuss?” I hated how hopeful my voice sounded. “Do you want to eat some lunch? I can whip you up something.”
“Ah, no. Actually, I have another meeting I need to get to, but I wanted to deliver the good news in person.”
Shit. She was going to see that other guy.
“Okay,” I grunted, patting her on the shoulder. “Thanks again.”
She turned to me before she walked out. A hint of something for me flitted through her eyes. I tugged my shirt down, needing to keep my hands busy so I wouldn’t grab her and kiss her. I crossed my arms over my chest and let my annoyance at my reaction to her come through. I didn’t want to give in to anything because she wasn’t interested.
Her brows knitted together, and I swallowed at her confusion. There was no reason for her to be confused. She’d made a few things pretty clear to me. I was just too stupid to listen at first.
“Our next meeting is set for Friday. Does that still work for you?”
That was three days away. I gave her a curt nod and showed her the door. “Yes.”
“Can you come to my office? I’ll have some samples to show you that are too big to lug around.” She walked over the threshold of my door. I grunted yes at her again and closed the door before she could ask any other questions.
I was definitely not ready for dating if I was confusing all the signs. I groaned and walked back over to my desk.
I was too old for this shit.