35. An Evening Out
35 AN EVENING OUT
Daphne
“Well, you look lovely.”
I spotted Mum in the mirror by the front door. I’d waited until the last minute to put in my earrings.
“I have a date—a real date. A date out in the world!”
I couldn’t hide my excitement. My divorce was signed. For now, I was an almost divorced woman, and Cal was willing to chance a public dinner. I’d gone all out on a new dress and shoes.
“Where are you going?”
“Bolgheri. It was my choice.”
I finished, fluffing my hair.
“You didn’t straighten it?” My mother grimaced.
“Cal likes it down, and so do I.”
After twelve years of straightening my hair at least five times a week to please others, I was done. Cal didn’t care. He loved me with wild hair. He loved me when I woke in the morning.
“I think it looks?—”
“It’s my hair, Mum,” I said, annoyed. “Can you just for once let me be happy? Cal wants to take me on a nice date. Do you know how long it has been since a man has taken me anywhere that wasn’t a political gathering or charity event?”
Mum looked down. “I suppose I could be more supportive. I don’t love you dating him, though.”
“I am well aware.”
I pushed my clutch bag under my arm and turned to the door.
“The dress is nice. I hope he is always so good to you.”
“He will be. He always has been,” I said. “Can you just… reserve judgement? The man loves me. And he shows me in every way how much he cares. I’ve never had someone fawn over me like this.”
“I know he didn’t at the end but Chandler was always?—”
“Mum, that’s what love bombing looks like. It’s not healthy. Now, I have to go.”
I opened the door, still shaking at my mother comparing Cal to Chandler. They had the same job, but they weren’t anywhere near similar.
The restaurant was a few blocks away—a trendy spot between Cal’s place and mine. He somehow managed to get a roof deck table. The hostess seated me as Cal wasn’t yet there. Looking over Lake Michigan, I realized I’d be miserable back in London right about now. There were days I’d miss it like mad. I still planned to go back. However, for now, I was happy with things here. I never thought I’d say that. I spent my entire life trying to run far from my family’s shadow. Now, I was glad to be home.
Cal eventually arrived, giving me a surprisingly long kiss before sitting.
“Should we really be doing that?” I shifted nervously.
“Do you not want to?” Cal asked. “It’s been a couple of days and I missed you.”
“I do,” I said. “And I like it. But… if people?—”
He kept his voice low. “If people see us, they’ll think I’m the lucky man who was able to land a hot young girlfriend and let it go.”
I blushed.
“You look gorgeous, by the way. It’s going to be a shame when I toss that dress on the floor in a couple of hours.”
“Cal!” I giggled. “Stop it!”
The waiter approached. “Do we have requests for wine? Any starters?”
I looked across the table at Cal. “I was thinking we could do a cocktail to start, get the charcuterie, and then decide on mains and order wine?”
“What she said,” Cal sat his menu down.
“What would the lady like?” The server asked.
“This thing with the grapefruit,” I said. “No clue how to pronounce that in Italian, I’m sorry.”
The waiter nodded. “And you sir?”
“Sazerac. With whatever top shelf rye your bartender thinks is good.”
“I will put in the order and bring your drinks.” He left.
Cal said, “Thank you for not panicking.”
“What?”
“I like a woman who just orders . Anything else is exhausting. After Kristy, I went on a series of bad dates in which women were afraid to speak up. They’d talk my ear off anytime they weren’t being asked to select food and drink.”
“We’re judged,” I said. “I’m just out of fucks right now.”
Cal furrowed his brow. “What’s wrong? I thought things were getting better.”
“They are—well with the divorce. No. It’s not that. It’s Mum judging my hair and saying she wishes you were anyone else or pointing out that Chandler fawned over me. Which he did, but only after we’d had a massive fight and he was trying to keep me happy.”
“She will get over it,” Cal assured. “Your mother will come around.”
“Just like yours?”
“That I cannot promise, but that has more to do with her sworn hatred of your mother. I have a better chance getting your mother to like me than mine to like me right now.”
I laughed. “Well, you win some, you lose some.”
He squeezed my hand. “I love you. It will work out. You don’t have to worry.”
I gave a small smile.
A man in a nice suit approached. “Cal! Is that you?”
Cal looked over at the man.
“Gary,” Cal said, standing to shake the man’s hand. “How are you?”
“I took the wife out to dinner, but all she can do is complain that it’s all too new . She misses Heritage.”
Heritage was a posh old standard on Ontario. My parents used to go. It was a place for old people.
“What did you think?” Cal asked.
“The food was excellent and the waitress was pretty.” He elbowed Cal. “And who is your dining companion.”
“Oh, shit. I’m on my worst behavior! Gary Pulaski, this is Daphne Delphine. Daphne, Gary is an old friend.”
“Well, no wonder you seemed so familiar. You’re David’s daughter!”
“I am,” I nodded.
Gary shot Cal a look, then chuckled, patting his back, “Well, enjoy it—all of it.”
I wanted to roll my eyes.
Cal returned to his seat, whispering, “As I said.”
“Who is he?”
“The head of the Illinois Democrats,” Cal said. “So, sort of my boss. He’s been up here constantly planning the DNC.”
“Oh, that’s right! That’s happening here.”
“I am speaking at the DNC,” Cal said. “Two weeks. No stress. Just tons of public safety meetings while my entire police force wants to kill me. What could go wrong?”
“It will work out.”
Cal nodded. “It will work out. Speaking of which, do you want to come with me to the afterparty?”
“Afterparty?”
“It’s a party convention. There are dozens of parties. But this one is a big cocktail party. Come with me.”
The hope in Cal’s face made me want to say yes.
“Please.”
Our drinks arrived and I tried to hide my disappointment. We were here at a beautiful restaurant on a perfect night. We had this chance to have a lovely evening—an evening just about us—but it always turned into something. I felt like an object.
Cal sensed my disappointment. “What did I say?”
“It’s not you. It’s just this. Cal, I’ve played the Good Wife most of my adult life. I don’t know how I feel about debuting our relationship at a political gala.”
“Oh,” Cal understood. “You don’t have to. I… I get it. That wasn’t my motivation, though.”
I’d hurt him.
I squeezed his hand. “I love you. I know that’s not your intent. I just… I want more time before we entangle those two things.”
Cal said. “Whatever you want, baby. In time, it will work.”
* * *
Cal
As Daphne slept, I couldn’t. We’d had a nice evening of drinks, dinner, and fabulous sex. All I could think about was her telling me no. It wasn’t even a no . It was a “let’s see”, but it was enough that it hurt. This was a big moment for me. I wanted to share it with her. But, just like what happened with Kristy, she didn’t want this. And if she didn’t want this, what was the fucking point?
Daphne slept curled up on my chest, trusting and sweet. I rubbed her back, feeling her soft skin. I loved that she encroached. It proved she loved and trusted me. After all she’d been through, she trusted me . And here I was doubting her sincerity? That was cruel. She had her reasons. She needed time.
I couldn’t fall asleep, extricating myself and tucking her in. She was peaceful and I couldn’t wake her.
I pulled my phone from the charger and walked to the living room. The city was just beginning its evening sleep. The lake was calm. Why couldn’t I be?
While we’d been in bed, Kristy texted.
KRISTY
Heard you were giving a big speech
ME
Cat is out of the bag.
I didn’t expect her to text back. It was two in the morning. Then, the typing bubbles appeared.
KRISTY
So, why are you still up?
ME
Couldn’t sleep.
Why are you still up
KRISTY
Sleep regression. Blame the kid.
ME
I cannot blame her. She’s blameless.
Kristy’s face flashed on my phone. I debated whether to answer, thinking about Daphne in the other room. But Daphne knew about Kristy. They’d been friendly several weeks ago when we’d volunteered to do childcare. So, I picked up.
“It’s easier to talk than type,” Kristy admitted. “Sorry.”
“It’s okay.
“How’s Daphne?”
“Asleep,” I answered.
“Oh, so she’s basically living at yours now?”
Oh, how I wish!
“No. We had a date. She’s over for the evening. We went out to dinner, but like a normal person, she fell asleep.
“She’s not a normal person, Cal. She’s basically a princess.”
I snickered. “She’s a normal person.”
“So, is she joining you for the speech?”
My stomach dropped.
“She’s still in the middle of divorce proceedings, so who knows,” I said. “Hopefully. She might be in London, though.”
“You always said you’d never trust someone who was divorced.”
I set my jaw, “Kristy, that was a decade ago. Besides, she wasn’t the reason her marriage failed. This isn’t petty?—”
“No, it’s just wealthy people fighting over inheritances and real estate.”
“That man hurt her,” I said.
“I’m sure she’ll be fine.”
“Kristy, he hurt her,” I raised my voice. “And I don’t want anyone poking fun about it.”
Kristy waited a minute. “Oh… okay. Sorry. I have hit a nerve. I wasn’t aware she had any problems with him apart from the cheating.”
“The cheating was just the tip of the iceberg. She doesn’t like talking about it.”
“But it’s going well?”
“I think so, yeah,” I said.
“If you’re happy that’s good.”
I love her .
“I think we’re going to give it a go and have another baby… with science in the mix,” Kristy said.
“You and your artist?” I asked. “Well, good for you both.”
“I have a nanny. Don’t worry. I’m not going to dump two babies on you at once. And he’s moving here so we will have two sets of hands.”
“Good for you both,” I said. “But honestly, Daphne would take two kids and enjoy them.”
“And so what? Is she willing to go through with it, marry you, and have kids?”
I wasn’t sure how to answer that.
“It’s really fresh, Kristy,” I said. “We haven’t discussed it.”
“She wants kids, though?”
“Yes,” I said. “And believe it or not, I still might, too. But that time may also have come to pass.”
“And yet you’re still with her?”
“I love her,” I said. “That’s the honest-to-God truth. I have to believe things will work out, but not at this second. In the future, I hope things will just fall into place.”
“Rather than you waste years of your life without being honest?”
Ouch . Kristy swore I’d not been transparent with her from the start.
“I don’t agree. I was honest with you. I always loved you—and cared about you—but it didn’t work. I never lied and said?—”
“You decided to run for office. That was?—”
“I never promised I wouldn’t just like you never told me you’d never, ever marry me.”
“Well, now you have everything you want, I guess… once Daphne is divorced.”
I paced, not wanting to toss my phone against the marble floor. “Kristy, did you call to argue with me?”
“No. I wanted to congratulate you.” Her voice fell. “I don’t want to argue with you. I value you as a friend, Cal. I also worry for that girl.”
“Can everyone stop calling her a girl? She’s a grown woman!”
“She’s young, okay? Compared to us. And… if you aren’t honest about what you want and she’s not on your page, you might hurt her.”
“I agree, but I have been,” I said. “I don’t want to go down this road again, okay? Thank you for your congrats. I appreciate it.”