Chapter 2
CHAPTER TWO
SERENA
“ Y ou want to grab some lunch?” my friend Kai asks, bumping my shoulder with his as we pack away our psychology books. As if on cue, my stomach lets out a mortifyingly loud rumble in response. Kai chuckles as my cheeks flush with embarrassment.
“I’ll take that as a yes.”
“I’m good; I’ve got this.” I pull out my sad PB he comes in every morning. He asked me out… It’s no big deal, really.” I pop a shoulder, trying to come across as nonchalant. I don’t want to get my hopes up in case my complicated life is too much for him.
“Ooh, I like a man who comes with his own set of handcuffs!” A wicked gleam shines in Mrs. G’s eyes as she claps her hands together. She bursts out laughing when she takes in my shocked expression.
“Don’t be so scandalized, child. Ol’ Mr. G and I had some fun times when we were younger. You don’t stay married to the same person for thirty years without getting a little creative from time to time.”
“Um, yeah, but you’re my surrogate grandmother, and I really don’t need to hear how you and Mr. G got ‘creative’ with handcuffs.” I make an exaggerated gagging sound, and the next thing I feel is Mrs. G’s hand slapping the back of my head while she mutters explicit curses about ungrateful shithead kids.
“Keep that up, you little shit, and see if you have anyone to come sit with your mama while you go on this ‘hot date’.” Mrs. G keeps muttering under her breath about one time in Cabo with Mr. G and the cabana boy, and I do my best to tune her out while I throw the lasagna in the oven to heat. I usher her out the door just as she gets to the so-called “good part”, doing my best to talk over her and ignore her comparison of the cabana boy’s dick size to actual vegetables.
“You know those zucchinis that get left in the garden for too long and turn into giant green baseball bats?”
“Uh huh, yeah, okay, that’s nice Mrs. G… See you tomorrow! Byyyyeee!” I close the door in her face, and I can tell by the mischievous look in her eyes she loves nothing more than to embarrass me with her sexcapades. I make a mental note to not let Dominick anywhere near Mrs. G when he comes to pick me up on Thursday.