Chapter 11 Giulia
GIULIA
I can’t believe it, but it’s true.
I spent the entire weekend waiting for Monday morning to finally get here.
There must be something broken in me. How many girls my age count the hours until they have the excuse to go to school?
I’ve gone through my entire closet at least three times since Friday afternoon, after I threw myself face-first onto my bed and screamed into my pillows because yes, it finally happened, and even though he hit the brakes before we did very much, he only did it to protect us.
That’s not the kind of thing somebody just magically forgets because they tell themselves they need to. Now I know he wants me, which means nothing matters more than making myself as irresistible as possible.
He might not know it, but he woke something in me, and now I can’t get enough.
The weekend slipped by with barely any studying done, the complete opposite of how I usually am.
Lit class reading sat untouched as my focus kept drifting, my gaze fixed on the window beside the armchair where I normally curl up with my books.
Instead of words on a page, every touch replayed in my mind, every deep growl that stirred in his throat when my lips found his skin.
I hardly even got started before he made me stop.
Thinking about it now, as I finish touching up my makeup, makes my hand tremble. I set the mascara on my dresser, staring at my reflection but seeing him leaning over me in the dark, kissing me until I couldn’t breathe, and touching me until I came, not that it took long.
And to think, I was so embarrassed after that disaster of a night out.
I couldn’t look at him after he took care of me.
Now, here I am, almost skipping down the stairs in a cute knee-length dress with a chunky cardigan over the top.
Something cute, casual, but cut in a deep V in the front that I cover up now by buttoning the sweater for my parents’ sake.
Just in the nick of time, too, since they come in from out front as I reach the bottom of the stairs.
“Good morning,” Mama offers with a bright smile and a kiss on my cheek. “Alessandro is already waiting for you out front. I have to say, he takes his job seriously.”
“He had better,” Papa grumbles. “And you had better listen to him. I want you to take every precaution. Straight home after school as always too.”
“Everything will be fine, Papa. I know he’ll take care of me.” He already has, out there in the garage. Not the time to think about that, but I can’t help it. A whole new part of my life has been unlocked. I have so much catching up to do.
And nobody has to know. That’s what I need him to understand.
I get the risks. I know everything could blow up in our faces if we’re not careful, but there’s no reason anyone has to find out.
Three times a week, we go into the city together, away from my family, his family, and anyone who would give a damn what we’re doing.
The argument I put together over the weekend, when I wasn’t obsessing like a sex fiend, plays in my head as I say my goodbyes to Mama and Papa, then step outside with my heart pounding like mad.
It’s not the pleasant coolness in the air that makes my nipples tighten and my skin erupt in goose bumps.
It’s the sight of the smoldering sex god leaning against the car, reading a newspaper.
I have to remind myself to inhale as I soak in the sight of his casual perfection. A snug black polo tucked into fitted slacks has become his uniform on days he’s driving me, and I am here for it because just the sight of him makes me wet.
He looks up, notices me watching, and folds the paper. He’s so graceful, but in a sensual way. I am hyperaware of everything about him as I descend the front steps, remembering what he did to me with his hands and wondering what else he could do.
“Good morning,” he murmurs, opening the back door as always. With his sunglasses in place, I can’t get a sense of what’s happening in his head. Those expressive eyes of his are hidden. Still, I feel his attention on me, and it makes me shiver with pleasure.
“Good morning,” I reply with a slow smile. “Did you have a nice weekend?”
“It was fine. Uneventful.” Why is he being so stiff and formal? Before I can ask, he murmurs, “Don’t look, but we have an audience of one coming this way. You’d better get in the car.”
I already know who he’s talking about. I don’t have to look.
I’m casual about it, turning to the side to slide the backpack off my shoulder and place it on the back seat.
I brush a few curls away from my face and look in the direction of Luca’s house.
What a surprise, here he comes, and he’s scowling like he’s in one of his bad moods.
“See you later!” I call out to him, waving like I don’t have a care in the world. He raises a hand but doesn’t say a word by the time I duck into the car, and Alessandro closes the door.
Fucking Luca. I love him, but his timing is shit.
Then again, maybe not. Because now we’re alone in the car, where neither Luca nor anybody else in my family can get in the way.
Though maybe that’s not true. I’m only halfway through unbuttoning my cardigan when Alessandro shakes his head. “Give it a rest. I’m on duty here.”
“Give what a rest?” Dammit, was I that obvious? I thought I was being clever.
“The mini strip tease.” He snorts when I lean back in the seat and fold my arms. “Maybe I wasn’t clear on Friday. It’s not happening again. You know it can’t. I know it can’t.”
“I’m an adult,” I remind him. “You are an adult. I don’t see the problem here.”
“Has anyone ever told you what a shitty liar you are?”
“Now that you mention it, no,” I reply with a sweet smile. “I’m an excellent liar. Either that, or I’m the youngest, so everybody thinks I’m too na?ve to lie.”
He chuckles. “I believe it, but it doesn’t change anything. So you can put your tits away.”
He might say that, but the way he keeps glancing in the mirror tells a different story.
“I wasn’t aware they were out.” I look down at myself, popping another two buttons to open the sweater until it slides off my shoulders.
“Are you trying to make me crash? Because that’s how accidents happen.” His defeated sigh makes me feel sorry for him.
Almost. “You know, I spent all weekend thinking about the way you kissed me,” I confess. Who am I? Have I completely abandoned anything close to dignity? Or am I just this desperate?
His shoulders rise and fall in an exasperated sigh. “I thought about it too. Are you happy? Now you know.”
Yes! “You don’t have to sound so angry about it.”
“You don’t know.” He has to tap the brakes once we hit traffic, and for once, I’m glad we hit the road around rush hour. It means more time for this. “I’ve been trying. For once, I’m trying to do the right thing. Why do you have to make it impossible?” he asks.
Oh. I didn’t think about it that way. Alessandro Vitelli is trying to turn over a new leaf.
I figured he was covering his ass and mine.
There’s a bigger picture he’s worrying about, and here I am, horny and awkward.
In a rush, I blurt out, “I’m sorry. I was being selfish. Pretend this never happened.”
All he does is laugh. “Right. That’s possible. I’ll forget it. I’ve been trying to forget since Friday, and all I have to show for that is an empty bottle of lotion on the nightstand.”
Dammit. To. Hell. He was jerking off thinking about me.
I can barely take a breath, and my pussy quivers as this sinks in. “I’m… sorry?”
“You should be. I should punish you for torturing me.” All of a sudden, he smacks his palm against the wheel. “Fucking hell. I shouldn’t have said that. Forget I said it.”
Here I was, thinking I’m the awkward one. It only hits me now that this could be his first time wrestling with wanting somebody and not knowing what to do about it. Until now, he probably snapped his fingers, and women came running—no effort, no questions, no time for second thoughts.
Compared to those women, I’m a child. I really thought unbuttoning my sweater and teasing him a little would lead to something, as if I could remind him how it was in the garage and how it could be again.
“I don’t know what I’m doing,” I whisper, staring down at my lap. Might as well put it out there, not like he doesn’t already know by now.
“I can tell you, if you’re interested,” he offers, his voice low, intimate, and much too sexy.
“You’re making it impossible for me to focus on the road because all I can think about is how much I want to pull over and climb back there with you.
I know it’s wrong. I know I shouldn’t. But it’s all I can think about, and it’s all your fault. ”
It’s official. This is going to kill me. I’m going to forget how to breathe, and that will be it. I’ll die surrounded by cars in the middle of rush-hour traffic with a wet spot in my panties. “What are we going to do about this?” I ask.
“I don’t know.” He sighs. “You know my ass is history if anyone ever found out, especially Luca.”
Luca. Emilia. I am the most despicable traitor. “Right. Mine, too. It would be much worse than getting pulled out of school, by the way,” I add, remembering what he said on Friday. School would be the tip of the iceberg.
And Papa might not be able to handle it. His heart. He doesn’t need the extra stress.
“Then we’re agreed.” He sounds miserable, which doesn’t help a damn bit, but I guess it would be worse if he sounded relieved. “Nothing ever happened, and nothing will again. For both our sakes. Right?”
The ache in my chest will go away eventually. I need to believe that. It’s only a disappointment. I don’t have actual feelings for this guy beyond confusion and conflict. I’ve had enough experience with disappointment to know it doesn’t last forever. I’ll get over it.
Though it doesn’t feel that way when we reach the Village, where Alessandro soon pulls up in front of the courtyard where the girls will be waiting.
“Here you are,” he announces, wasting no time getting out when I want him to go slow.
I don’t want this to end. There’s this certainty in my soul that everything is going to be different when he picks me up.
We’ll have to go back to the way we were before.
He’ll call me little sister and treat me like I’m nothing but a brat.
I guess that’s why tears well up in my eyes as he opens my door. I don’t want him to see. That’s the last thing I need. To look like a lovesick child, longing for what she can’t have.
“Wait inside until I confirm I’m out here,” he reminds me as I hustle out of the car with my head down. Instead of letting me go, he holds me back with a hand on my shoulder. “Hey. Look at me.”
Not this. Anything but this.
The nail in the coffin I’m burying my hopes in, and my dignity, for that matter. When he doesn’t let me go, I look up in time for him to watch a tear spill over my lashes.
His shoulders rise and fall before he gently runs his thumb over my cheek to catch the droplet. I can’t help but shiver at his touch. We’re standing on a busy street choked with cars and pedestrians, yet they might as well not be there. We might as well be alone.
“Is it true you can do your schoolwork virtually?” he asks out of nowhere.
“Huh? Yeah, I guess so,” I sniffle.
“Then it wouldn’t hurt you to miss a class this morning?”
Hope flickers in my chest, warming it, making it swell. “I don’t think it would.”
“Okay, then.” He opens the door wider. “Get back in.”
“Where are we going?” I ask, even if I already have a good idea. I’m starting to tremble with anticipation, my heart thumping against my ribs.
He doesn’t mince words. “We’re going to my apartment to do something I hope we don’t regret. So get in before I change my mind.”