Chapter 6 Reverie
Reverie
Iwas startled awake by a banging on my door. I rubbed my hands down my face, then stumbled to my feet. “Who is it?”
“It’s Seamus, get your ass dressed. Selene wants to see you in her apartment.” I heard him stomp away, likely off to brighten someone else’s day.
Fuck.
I sank back onto the bed, knowing this was inevitable after the hall incident. I rested my head in my hands, questioning how much longer I could endure this.
I missed Oren, Jet, Nathan, Zeke, and Zane.
I missed my Mom.
I missed my Grumpy.
I missed Pops and Dad.
I missed Pantar.
I missed safety.
I missed laughter.
I missed not being afraid.
I missed Chloe and everything she represented.
I missed living my life on my own terms.
Until I arrived in Aurathia, I hadn’t faced any real hardships. Yes, I lost two of my fathers, but I was loved so deeply by my remaining parents that the only sorrow I’d felt had been through their experience. I hadn’t even been born yet when their tragedy occurred.
My parents had been preparing me for Emberhold Academy and initiation, and yes... it was dangerous. But with my training, I expected to survive, and if I was honest, I hadn’t been that worried about it.
The Faction I was building was another layer in the charmed life I had been living. Each man, remarkable in their own right, but together they are more than any one woman deserves… and they were mine.
No real trials or tribulations. Nothing to test my true metal... until now.
Tears rolled down my face as I wrapped my arms around myself—the only person in this cold world who could or would give me comfort.
“I love you more than life, my Nexi. You are my every breath. When you laugh, it’s like every lungful of air becomes joyful, and when you hurt, it feels as if my own chest is splitting open.
I could lose everything else in my life—home, name, pride—and still keep crawling forward, as long as I have you.
” Nathan’s deep voice whispered in my ear, helping me to find the strength to move forward, if only in my imagination.
I took in his words — a mixture of different moments from our past, spoken at various times — and dropped my arms, wrapping myself in them instead.
I stood wearily and got dressed, shedding each bit of emotion inside with every article of clothing I put on.
I left all weapons behind, knowing it was better not to have them on my person when visiting Selene.
When I was ready, I paused briefly before opening my door and took a deep breath, briefly placing a hand over my Nexus mark. Its presence on my skin comforted me. I took another deep breath, wiped any expression off my face, then pushed my door open and walked briskly down the hallway.
I’d made this journey so many times in the last few months that I could do it with my eyes closed. Selene’s apartment was quite a long way from my quarters, but it felt like I was standing in front of the large black doors in seconds.
I knocked quietly and savored my last few pain-free moments.
The door opened, and a maid bid me to come in with a brief look of sympathy. “Mistress will be with you momentarily. You’re welcome to have a drink while you wait.”
My feet sank into the plush red carpet as I made my way over to the bar and poured a shot of Bloodmead. It was similar in proof to Everclear, but colored a deep red, like blood.
I thought it appropriate.
I downed a couple of shots and then stood leaning against the bar. I’d seen so many disgusting things here that I preferred to stand; there was no telling what bodily fluids covered the furniture.
I heard footsteps coming from the kitchen and braced myself, but it was only Fabien.
He walked behind the bar and fixed himself a drink. “How have you been holding up, kid?”
“About as well as someone in my position can.” I didn’t trust Fabien, per se, but I knew that as long as his safety wasn’t in question, he’d play straight with me.
“What are you in for?” He took a sip of his drink, then sat on one of the black stools lining the bar.
“You know, the usual—one of Kristine's Faction hits—I hit back. She tattles—then a couple of rounds of torture—and everything resets.” I tried to sound blasé, but I couldn’t hide the slight tremble in my voice.
“Tough breaks.” He said nonchalantly, but his eyes held genuine sympathy. He took another long sip of his drink. “Selene’s been busy lately, running around in a tizzy.”
“That’s odd. Do you know what’s going on?” I knew I was taking a risk even asking; there were ears everywhere. But information was power and could be bartered if need be.
Fabien looked around cautiously before speaking. “I’m not sure yet. That’s actually why I’m hanging around.” He grimaced, “The unexpected can be bad for your health around here.”
I nodded in agreement, but before I could reply, Selene walked out of her office. “Hello, spawn of Adelaide. I’m glad you could fit me into your busy schedule.”
“I’m never too busy to visit you, Selene.” I tried to sound sincere, but I’m reasonably sure I missed the mark.
She gave a tinkling laugh. “Don’t be absurd. We both know that’s nonsense. I, on the other hand, enjoy your visits quite thoroughly.”
Selene walked over to Fabien and gave him a long and thorough kiss. “I’m so happy you’ve taken to hanging out here more.” She pouted, “I don’t know why so many of you want to stay in those disgusting barracks.”
Fabien kissed the top of her head. “I like to keep an eye on the warriors and make sure everything is running smoothly. Serving you and our Faction is extremely important to me.”
“That’s so sweet.” She giggled like a child.
“Unfortunately, before we can spend some quality time together, I have to take care of a little business.” Selene glanced at me briefly.
“Lucky for you, I’m sure I’ll be good and worked up when I’m done.
” She gave him one more short kiss. “I’ll send for you when I’m ready. ”
I saw Fabien wince slightly, but only because I was observing him closely. “I’ll await your invitation with eagerness.” He gave a slight bow and left the apartment.
Selene poured herself a drink, then gracefully sat on the large sofa. “So, why in the world would you believe it was okay to hit poor Evan?”
I knew that was why I was here. Fuck Kristine right to hell. “I wasn’t sure it was Evan, ma’am. I was attacked as I was leaving the dining hall and defended myself. I didn’t have time to identify my attacker.”
“Blah…blah…blah, I truly don’t give two shits for your excuses. The fact I had to endure a visit from that whiny brat Kristine is enough to make me want to punish you.” She drummed her long red nails on the arm of the sofa.
My hatred for Kristine was hotter than the fires of Hell, but I knew Selene would’ve found one reason or another to get me here.
“I won in the coliseum again, and I dedicated the fight to your Faction.” I hated how timid and fearful I sounded, but I would say anything to get out of what I knew was coming.
When I first arrived, I was almost cocky, but it didn’t take long for me to realize that swallowing my pride hurt a lot less than Selene’s torture did.
She gave a chilling smile. “That’s sweet of you, child, but I’m afraid that we both know what has to happen here.”
I hung my head for a moment, then headed for her room. I’d tried to avoid this and was disgusted with myself for the effort. I knew any further pleas would be pointless.
I entered, took off my vest and shirt, folded them neatly, and set them on the desk in the corner. Then, I walked over to the manacles hanging from the ceiling and waited.
Selene walked in, not bothering to shut the door. She pointed her finger at me and made an upward movement. My arms jerked up, and the manacles clasped around my wrists.
That’s the kind of control I needed to take on this bitch. I didn’t have it yet, but I was getting there. Every day, I grew stronger. I just needed time, and I’d do what I had to do to get it.
Selene opened the large black cabinet that held all of her favorite devices of torture and bypassed the cat-o'-nine tails for my least favorite, the flagrum. It was composed of three leather thongs, tipped with bone shards for maximum damage.
“It seems my previous punishments may not have emphasized the level of obedience you are expected to show.” She walked up to me and dragged a single finger over my left nipple.
“It’s a genuine pity that I see so much of Adelaide in you, and not enough of my Hayes.
” Her eyes heated with lust. “I’d never consider making you a part of my Faction, but it would be fun to play. ”
I shuddered internally at the horrible thought of what that would look like. I was never so grateful for the resemblance to my mother.
Selene lifted my chin and looked into my eyes, “Unfortunately, those amber orbs of yours are identical to hers and leave me cold.”
She dropped my chin and trailed the cold leather of the flagrum around my torso until she reached my back.
I closed my eyes and tried to prepare myself for the first strike.
The whistle of the leather as it traveled through the air was the only warning I received before the first lash stole the breath from my lungs.
A sound like tearing cloth cracked across my back, and then fire seared through me, hot and blinding.
The bone weights bit deep, dragging skin with them as they tore free.
The second blow jerked my body forward, my arms straining in their bindings as if they might tear free.
The pain from the first hit hadn’t subsided, and now it intensified—doubling, tripling—until I couldn’t tell where one wound ended and the next began.
My breath came in ragged gasps; my body shivered violently.