Chapter 9
Murphy’s Laws of Sex #13
“A woman never forgets the man she could have had; a man, the woman he couldn't.”
Toni arranged the various patent-revision-and-approval papers to be signed on her desk as she had four times in the last hour. She exhaled in an effort to expel her anxiety, and failing that stood to check herself in the mirror again. It was her mauve-gray skirt, white blouse, and vest combo. Not her best outfit, but she hadn’t known she’d be seeing both Starling and the Board chairman today, and maybe the CEO and sundry VPs along with him. They weren’t coming down to see her so she shouldn’t be tense, but she was. Nothing involving Starling had gone as expected.
Toni hadn’t heard from Starling in more than a month. She thought of him at least once a day. She told herself it was because of her upcoming role in his scent experiments—keeping them from Bateman while securing her ascension to lead counsel. So far, she hadn’t conceived of any strategies for achieving both.
New patents for perfumes and lotions were becoming scarce without Starling. Worse, a number of the lab rats were abandoning ship. They had heard how the Board had cheated him. It didn’t help that Rayaneta’s chemists were sought after by other cosmetics companies.
When one researcher leaving Rayaneta had come in to sign nondisclosure papers, he told her that with Starling gone, there was nothing more to learn. It had stopped being fun. When Toni told him that Starling was coming back in a year, he said if and when that happened, he would consider returning.
If? That left Toni unnerved . Because researchers were quitting and new cologne and new perfume products were drying up, Bateman, the Board, and the CEO’s office fussed over new marketing, creating spin-offs from existing formulas. They focused on which product patents should be amended or sold with the new company marketing while paying for the Hampton merger. As Starling was a primary signer on most of the patents, he had to autograph the patent amendments and releases.
She’d called him through Sam with the suggestion that he could come in anytime this week to sign the documents, but to let her know a day ahead of time.
He didn’t.
Instead, he called this morning saying as he happened to be in the city, he would come by “around two.” Somehow, Bateman heard about it and had to see Starling, and then so did the CEO, Dr. Pendergast. Suddenly lots of execs and board members had to talk to Starling. She was supposed to call when he showed up.
It was a little after two now. She straightened her skirt and slipped her vest off, wondering if it would be better with just the blouse. No, the mauve vest looked more business-like.
“Well, don’t we look good—and nervous.” Rena Landers sauntered into Toni’s office in a clingy red dress that had far too much va-va-voom even for Human Resources.
Toni shrugged on her vest and glanced one last time in the mirror, making a face at her friend’s comment. “Hey you. What are you up to, up here? Slumming? You get time off for bad behavior?”
“The Crew hasn’t seen you for more than a week, girl. I was elected to check in.” Rena sashayed over to a chair and sat down. “We’ve been worried about you. Heard you’ve been working overtime.”
Toni waved a hand at the stack of patent documents fanned out across her desk. “The top floor has got a stick up their collective butts about patent protection for all the spin-offs. Consequently, they’ve been busting my chops to write up the patent changes and inclusions along with an extensive list of copyright clarifications and extensions. I can’t tell you how many times some executive gavoon had a brainstorm or panic attack and concocted a weasel deal I had to include sooner than immediately.”
“Oh, honey, you are agitated. Your Brooklyn is showing.”
Toni gave Rena a disgusted half-smile and fell into her chair. “Don’t you know it.”
Rena glanced at the hardwood floor in the office, then looked quizzically at Toni. “Tell me again why your office is the only one without carpet?”
“I hate static electricity. When I was six, my brothers talked me into sticking a fork into a wall socket. I woke up on the other side of the living room with a burned hand.” Her father had punished her for being stupid, but not her brothers. Since then, besides distrusting anything male, static electricity made her cringe.
Looking sympathetic, Rena said, “Geesh, growing up with your brothers sounds treacherous.”
Uncomfortable with the topic, Toni turned her chair to face Rena and changed the subject. “You’re looking svelte today. What’s the occasion?”
“Oh, I have a date tonight after work, and I won’t have time to go home and change. He works downtown too.”
A baritone voice said, “Well, he’s a lucky man.”
Both women turned to look at the source of the honeyed sound. The man stood, hand casually placed on the door frame above his head, exuding calm, affable charm. Like he’d stepped from the pages of GQ , he directed a megawatt smile at Rena. He wore a tailored blue suit with a pale blue dress shirt, which set off his tan nicely, and an attractive patterned blue and dark orange tie. The combination made her immediately aware of his intense blue eyes. He sported a stylish close-cut beard. After a moment of wonder gazing at this marvelous male presence, Toni recognized him.
Starling! Gaping at him, she couldn’t think of a thing to say.
Starling felt no need to say anything either but continued to gaze at both women with the serene smile and open expression of a Zen master. When Toni finally thought to introduce her friend, she was further dumbfounded. Rena stared at Starling with a silly grin on her face, like she’d spied a new pair of Manola Blahnik stilettos.
“Oh, Rena, this is—”
“Call me BJ.” He strode over to where she sat and shook her hand. Rena responded with an intelligent “Uh.”
When he got his hand back, he turned to Toni. “I apologize for dropping in like this. I attended a conference in Singapore and flew back this morning. That’s when I got your message. I thought as long as I was in town . . .” He gave Toni a wide-eyed look, silently asking if that was all right. When she didn’t respond, still dazed as she was, he pointed at the papers on her desk. “Are these what I’m supposed to sign?”
She nodded and gestured to a chair when his cell phone rang, playing what Toni recognized as Bessie Smith singing “Careless Love Blues .” Her father had played Bessie’s songs since Toni was little. It must be Starling’s cell. She doubted Starling saw the irony in the choice of a theme song.
He smiled with that boyish enthusiasm of his and pulled the cell phone from his coat pocket. “Sam got me a smart phone before I left. He wanted me to stay in touch while I was away.” He glanced at the display. “It’s someone from the conference. I’ll make it quick.” He stepped out into the hallway and began speaking Chinese.
After a moment, Toni realized her mouth was open and pressed her lips together. Listening to a foreign language spring so glibly out of Starling was disorienting, like being dropped into an alternate universe. He now seemed as alien as the sounds he made. She watched Starling impress every female on the floor within hearing distance. She looked at Rena who was staring. “Rena?”
Rena slowly turned to Toni and shivered, as though she was shaking off water. “God, I think I just had an orgasm,” she whispered. Toni chuckled at Rena’s stupefied expression in spite of her own bewilderment.
Rena darted over to the desk and leaned close. “All right, girl, give . Who is this demi-god and how do you know him? Are you two dating? What’s his story? Does he work here? Why is he seeing you?” Every time Toni started to answer, Rena asked another question.
Dr. Bateman burst in, scowling like he had a toothache. “Well, where is he?” Wondering who had told him, Toni motioned out the door and started to speak, but was interrupted with his demand, “ Where ?” Bateman glanced out the door, curling his lip at Starling as he continued to speak Chinese, singing falsetto into his phone. Bateman scowled, peered down the hall, and turned to glower at Toni.
“Dr. Bateman, he’s—”
“ He’s left? Damn it, Crenshaw, you were supposed to call me.”
“Dr. Bateman, he’s—”
“Don’t give me excuses.”
Starling walked in and held out his hand. “Dr. Bateman, how are you?”
Bateman opened his mouth and then shut it again, looking up into Starling’s bearded face. “I’m, uh, fine.” He shook Starling’s hand, but then turned to Toni and asked, “Who is this?”
Rena jumped in before Toni could answer. “Oh, this is BJ. BJ this is Dr. Bateman, chairman of the Rayaneta Board of Directors.”
Starling smiled and nodded. “Yes, I know. We’ve met before.”
Bateman’s brow wrinkled, obviously failing to remember any such event. “Yes, yes, nice to meet you again.” Abruptly turning to Toni, he waved a hand in a slicing motion. “Pendergast and I have waited around all afternoon.” Toni glanced at the clock. Yep, it was still a little after two. Bateman frowned first at the clock and then her.
“You’ve wasted our time.” He pointed a finger at her, interrupting her effort to explain. “I won’t forget this, Crenshaw. You should have called promptly when he arrived.” With that, he stomped out. Toni called after him, but he didn’t return. She sat back down, and furious, glared at Starling who’d watched the entire byplay with smiling equanimity, as though it was a mildly entertaining soap opera.
Rena put a hand on his sleeve. “Pendergast is the CEO of the company.”
Starling leaned in and patted her hand. “Yes, I know.” Rena smiled up at him, leaning closer, placing her other hand over his, and pressing them against her chest.
“Rena.” Toni waited, grinding her teeth until Rena pulled her gaze away. “ Dr. Starling and I have work we need to finish now . He should get home—jet lag.”
“What?” Rena gazed up at Starling, mouth ajar. “Oh, I didn’t realize . . . Dr. Starling.” Looking flummoxed, she shook his hand again and said goodbye several times. As Rena left mouthing “Oh my God” covertly to Toni. Starling strode over and sat down in the chair across from her.
Pointing after Rena with his head, Starling said, “She seems nice. She’s a friend of yours, isn’t she?” He crossed one long leg over the other, leaned back, and clasped his hands in his lap. Looking up at her credentials and diploma hanging on the wall behind her, he grinned. “Your name is Antonietta Sophia? That’s a lyrical mouthful.”
Toni rummaged around in her desk for a pen and when she found one, slammed it down on top of the documents.
He studied her for a moment. “You’re mad at me again.”
Toni scowled at the stranger across from her. She was getting tired of not recognizing Starling. “You’re damn right I’m mad. Bateman came down here expressly to see you .”
Starling cocked his head. “He did see me.”
She snarled at that. “ No he didn’t . He didn’t see Dr. Starling on sabbatical, dressed in his lab coat and glasses; he saw BJ, the Italian magazine model.”
“The what?”
She paused, mortified by her impulsive description, which made her angrier. “Are you wearing your cozy potion?”
“My what?” He laughed. “Of course not. I went with a classic according to Sam, Old Spice.”
Toni squinted at him, trying to determine if he was lying. But Starling didn’t lie. He apparently didn’t understand the benefits accrued by fibbing in a social setting. “Why did you come in wearing that corporate costume and the Euro-trash beard?”
He looked down at himself and frowned. “This is what I wore to the conference in Singapore.”
“And what could you learn in China you couldn’t learn here?”
“ Dr. Ling of the Na Yang Polytechnic asked me to present at the World Congress of Chemical Engineering on enzyme recombination. It was a last-minute request. Another presenter had to drop out.”
A speech? She tried to imagine it and couldn’t. “In Chinese, I suppose.”
“No, Mandarin. I only spoke it when asked to during the presentation and during the question-and-answer period.” He sat up. “Toni, there wasn’t time to change before catching my flight. I came here directly from SeaTac.” He pursed his lips thoughtfully. “Cabs are really expensive.”
Toni crossed her arms. They were the only things keeping her from exploding. “You. You gave a presentation?”
“Yes, about things I’ve discovered in my last eight years of research at Stanford and here.” He scratched his beard. “That was Dr. Ling on the phone, saying that next year the conference will be in Frankfurt . They want me to give more presentations this time, and maybe a keynote.” He eyed her for a moment and then observed, “You find that hard to believe.”
She threw up her hands. “Seriously? You expect me to believe you when you look so—so, unwrinkled—after giving a speech half a world away and an eighteen-hour flight back?”
“Fourteen hours. I enjoyed first class.”
Toni fumed. “What’s with the beard? Is it real?” Why was she angry, feeling betrayed? Crap, where was her lawyer’s cool?
Starling rubbed it and smiled, apparently amused by her accusations. “Of course. It started growing a week after we met in May.” He waved his hand helplessly. “I haven’t mastered shaving. I end up cutting my face.” When Toni continued to glare at him, he touched his chin whiskers and said, “I understand it’s very fashionable to—”
Toni didn’t know what to think, so she interrupted, “You need to autograph the pages marked with sticky note arrows.” Starling’s amused response to her snarky anger again made her self-conscious, wondering at her stupid responses to him.
He picked up the pen on the files, opened one file, and began to sign.
“Don’t you want to read them first?”
“You said they’re about modifying a number of patents I wrote up.”
“That’s right. Don’t you want to see what’s being changed?”
“No. I trust you.”
That stopped her. Watching trusting Tall, Tan, and Perplexing sign papers across from her seemed to fog her brain. Bonnie had said he would change, but the reality was something else again. She tried to wrap her head around the changes.
His revelation about the conference left her with a niggling feeling. She knew she should be checking the details of his presentation for any legal ramifications, but after a few minutes’ silence, she couldn’t help herself. “Where did you learn to speak Mandarin?”
He continued signing papers without looking up. “At M.I.T.” When she didn’t comment, he glanced up and saw her incredulous expression. Seeming to understand, he said, “Besides English, German, and Mandarin are the dominant languages in science. They seemed useful skills to master. Many of the students at M.I.T. were Chinese.”
“You know German too?” She pursed her lips. “Of course you do.”
He nodded, head down again methodically flipping pages to find the sticky notes and slowly signing. “I already knew Spanish.” Without looking at her, he shrugged as though he sensed what she was thinking. “When I was a child, my folks weren’t home much. I had Hispanic nannies and housekeepers. Few spoke English.”
“You learned both German and Chinese—Mandarin— during your four years at M.I.T.?”
“Five years for my doctorate.” Toni frowned, raising a hand toward him, ready to ask another question. He glanced up at her, an understanding lift of his eyebrows, and answered her. “The other, older students didn’t know what to do with thirteen-year-old me.” There was a sad smile. “Or I with them. It meant that I had a lot of time on my hands, so I took more classes. I have a BA in Foreign Languages, but with Mandarin and German my accent still tends to be Spanish.”
Toni couldn’t imagine what his childhood had been like. “It sounds like all you did was go to classes and study.” He nodded. Without thinking, she added, “You must have been lonely.”
“It wasn’t a problem. I didn’t miss what I never had.”
He said it in such a matter-of-fact way that unbidden she felt tears well up and quickly wiped them away. Damnation, Crenshaw! What is wrong with you? She took a deep breath. “There is nothing in your personnel file about any of that, the languages, the degree, or your childhood.”
Starling gave Toni a curious look. “You read my personnel file?”
To avoid eye-contact, Toni picked up all the signed papers and began re-stacking them. Clearing her throat, she muttered, “It’s standard practice when writing up employee contracts.” She paused for a moment and said with more vehemence than intended, “While I’m thinking about it, give me your cell number. That way I can reach you when you wander off to parts unknown again.”
He reached into his coat and handed her a card. He had personal business cards? The pale blue card had his new cell number on it, but not Rayaneta’s company name or logo. He must have known why she was studying the card, because he said, “Sam thought it was a good idea to have them for this year since I’m not working for Rayaneta.”
Toni didn’t comment while she watched him finish signing the last pages. He began helping her collect them all, but she impatiently waved him away. He sat back down and watched her in return. She was afraid he knew why she was irritable, impatient, and ill at ease in his presence, with everything related to Dr. Baynard J. Starling.
He finally broke the tense silence. “When I was hired by Rayaneta, I don’t remember filling out an application or anything about my qualifications or schooling.” He raised his eyebrows. “With my fellowship at Stanford and my research, I guess no one felt more information was necessary, so it isn’t in my file.”
Toni didn’t know what to say or how to act with this new, deeper voiced, more adult Starling. He had always spoken in a slow, considered manner, but now it imparted a cool, manly vibe which rattled her. Who was this guy? Was Sam Banks playing the part of Henry Higgins?
She had a million questions but was unwilling to continue what already felt like a cross-examination, so she kept shuffling papers. Or maybe she lacked the courage to face any more revelations about the man after first dismissing him as a nerdy nonentity.
He’d guessed how little she thought of him, and yet he continued to be open and amiable with her. She kept seeing his disappointed look when she and her friends had made fun of him, and yet he thought her trustworthy. It made her feel hollow and really small.
“I thought you’d like to know, I followed your suggestion.”
Toni, still lost in her thoughts, stared at him for a moment before his words registered. She sat down, feeling emotionally beat-up, and thinking she deserved it. “What suggestion?”
“I’ve been studying nonverbal communication. I also hired a coach. It’s fascinating, and so much about nonverbals remains unconscious, but still drives more than 90 percent of all personal interactions.”
Toni eyed this new man, suddenly boyish again with his bright enthusiasm for learning, and his favorite word, ‘fascinating.’ “A coach, for nonverbals?” She knew there were such coaches, and had used them herself, but her brain had downshifted to ‘dense’ trying to cope with all the Starling revelations.
“Yes, there are three coaches in the Seattle area. Tracy Zoe is excellent. She even instructs in romance skills.” He grinned at what must have been her incredulous expression and placed his elbows on her desk. “I can tell, for instance, that not only are you skeptical of Tracy, but you are also uncomfortable and anxious about something else.”
Toni felt her skin prickle. Shit. He just keeps blindsiding me. She was the cool one, always in control, never giving anything away. She was the lawyer for Pete’s sakes. This has got to stop.
“Of course, I’m worried. I was told to call Dr. Bateman when you arrived. You saw him but he didn’t recognize you. He’s furious with me because of your little ‘BJ’ moment.” She sighed. “Probably Pendergast too.”
Starling frowned hard at that but gestured to the papers she had repeatedly reorganized and re-stacked. “Are we done here?” Surveying the pile on her desk, Toni nodded, surprised by the abrupt change of subject. “Good.” He stood and walked out the door, saying, “I’ll go upstairs and explain everything to Dr. Bateman.”
Toni called after him. “Dr. Starling.” She couldn’t let him go into the pride’s den without a heads-up about the Alpha Lion.
He poked his head in again. “BJ, remember?”
She pursed her mouth. “Fine, BJ.” She got up and approached him. “You haven’t dealt with Dr. Bateman before.” She sliced the air with her hand. “He’s going to try to convince you to sell ‘Cozy’ immediately, today , along with everything else you might create. He’ll push hard.”
BJ offered a gentle smile. “I’m sure he will. Thank you for the warning.” He reached out and patted her arm. As he leaned in, she was caught by his piercing gaze and the scent of Old Spice , her father’s cologne. While friendly in every way, Toni couldn’t escape the feeling he was seeing every hidden part of her. His touch left a warm, tingling sensation.
He gestured to her arm. “That pat communicates acceptance, empathy, and appreciation. It’s a specifically Indo-European nonverbal gesture. If I’d patted a person’s arm at the conference in China, many there would have perceived such contact as too familiar or threatening.” With a grin of satisfaction at sharing that ‘fascinating’ tidbit, he left.
Long after he’d disappeared into the elevator on his way to the fortieth floor, Toni stood at her office door, staring at nothing, rubbing her arm where he’d touched her.