Chapter 20
TWENTY
Shane
Your appointment for Friday, March 15, at 11:00 has been canceled. Please call the office to reschedule.
I stare at the email in confusion. It’s been less than twelve hours since I said good night to Kinsley on her doorstep with the promise of seeing her today. She didn’t mention not being at the shop, so either a mistake has been made or something happened between last night and this morning. And of course, I don’t have her damn number, so I can’t call her directly.
I click the number to the shop, and Scott answers on the second ring.
“Hey, man. It’s Shane. My appointment was canceled. Was there a glitch or something?”
“Hey,” he says. “It automatically sent that when I canceled it. I was just about to call you to reschedule.”
“Did something happen? Is Kinsley okay?”
Scott’s quiet for several seconds, telling me something is wrong, before he says, “Sorry, man, I can’t give out personal information. Let’s just say, today is a bad day.”
A bad day? What the hell does that mean?
“Okay, then can I have her number? I’d like to check on her.”
“You know I can’t do that. If she wanted you to have it, she would’ve given it to you herself.”
“Fine, can you at least tell me where she might be?” From the sound of his voice and his vagueness, something is wrong, and I want— no, I need to make sure Kinsley is okay.
“No clue, but her dad mentioned she prefers to be alone on days like today.”
More vagueness … great.
“Hold on.” There’s muffled speaking, and then he says, “You didn’t hear this from me, but she likes going to the park to think.”
The park …
We only have one main park in town, and it’s where I ran into her before when Taylor and I were walking Becky.
“Thanks.”
The drive to the park doesn’t take long, but when I get there, Kinsley is nowhere to be found. Next, I stop by her place, but she doesn’t answer, so I knock on her parents’ front door, but nobody’s home.
I drive around, looking for her for a while, but when it’s clear I’m not going to find her, I head back home, frustrated and worried.
Until I step out of my truck and find Kinsley sitting on my front porch. Her eyes are rimmed red, and her cheeks are splotchy, telling me she’s been crying.
I walk over and sit next to her. “I’ve been looking for you. When you canceled our appointment, I got worried. Drove all over in search of you, but I didn’t consider you’d be here.”
“I’m sorry,” she says. “I didn’t realize you had an appointment today. I mean, I probably did, but my brain wasn’t all there when I canceled the appointments this morning. I planned to go to the park, but when I was on my way there, I realized I didn’t want to be alone.” She looks up at me with tears in her eyes. “It’s been three years.”
I don’t need to ask what she’s talking about because I already know. Three years since her late husband and daughter died.
“Three years,” she says again. “And it still hurts so damn much. But for the first time, I didn’t want to be alone. I wanted to be with you.”
I hate that she’s hurting, but my heart soars at the thought that while I was looking for her all over, assuming she wanted to be alone and was pushing me away, she was sitting right here, wanting me the entire time.
“Tell me what you need, Kins.”
“You,” she says softly. “I just need you.”
“Done.”
I lift her into my arms and carry her into my house and go straight for my en suite bathroom. Taylor’s gone for the weekend, so I don’t bother shutting the bedroom door since I know we won’t be interrupted.
I set her on the counter while I run the hot water in the tub, then go to Taylor’s bathroom to grab some necessities since she’s got tons of girlie shit, like bubble bath stuff and candles.
After getting everything set up, I turn the music on my phone on soft and then go about stripping Kinsley out of her clothes. She’s quiet and withdrawn the entire time, but she goes into the tub willingly.
“Join me,” she murmurs, her glassy eyes pleading.
I wasn’t planning to, wanting to keep it about her and not us, but when she looks at me like that, there’s nothing I wouldn’t give her.
“Of course,” I say, quickly getting undressed and then sliding in behind Kinsley so she’s able to lean against me.
I had my bathroom renovated when I bought the house, so the tub is a decent size and fits us both easily. With the music playing, we sit in silence for a few minutes. I use the silkiness of the water to rub my hands up and down her arms, hoping I’m comforting her, and when she sighs further into me, I know it’s working.
“Tell me about him,” I say, continuing to wash her.
She momentarily tenses up, and I wonder if I said the wrong thing. Another guy might be jealous or resentful that his girlfriend loves another man, regardless that he’s no longer here, but I accept that Kinsley’s heart will always be filled with love for other people. Luckily, she has a huge heart that can hold love for several people at once.
“He was rough around the edges,” she begins. “Came from a shitty home and was lost when he showed up at Forbidden Ink, the tattoo shop that my family owns in the city …”
She goes on to tell me about their friendship and how it eventually turned into something more. Their wedding, moving in together, deciding to have a baby, and the night her life changed for the worse. While she talks, I listen and wash her so she knows I’m paying attention. Nothing I say will change what happened, and really, Kinsley doesn’t need me to say anything. She just needs me to listen, to understand, to know that she’s safe, talking to me about an important part of her life that will always be a part of who she is.
“I told my therapist about you,” she says, shocking me. “I told her that for the first time, because of you, I feel things I didn’t think I would ever feel again. Feelings I wasn’t sure I ever wanted to feel again.”
She glances back at me sheepishly. “I wish I could snap my fingers and move forward, leaving the past where it belongs. I feel like you deserve so much more than a woman who’s still hung up on her dead husband three years later.”
She goes to turn away, but I grasp her chin, holding her gaze.
“That’s not how I see it at all. I’m proud of you, Kins.” I lean in and press my lips to hers and then pull back. “Every year, you’ve spent today alone, and had you chosen to spend today alone, I would’ve understood because I’m not trying to compete with your past. It’s part of what makes you who you are, and I love you exactly the way you are. But the fact that you showed up on my doorstep on your own, trusting me with your broken heart, means the world to me.”
Her eyes widen at my use of the L-word, and truth be told, I didn’t mean for it to come out like that, but I don’t regret it because it’s the truth. I love Kinsley Bryson, and I’m going to do everything in my power to show her that.
“Shane.” She turns around so she’s facing me, and the water in the tub sloshes around, but neither of us pays attention to it, too focused on one another. “I need you to help me forget.” She frames the sides of my face. “To remind me that even though they’re gone, I’m still here, and I deserve to be.”
“Kinsley …” I brush my lips against hers. They’re soft and plump, and they taste salty from the tears sliding down her face. “You deserve to be here, and if I have to remind you of that every day for the rest of our lives, I will.”