Chapter 20
Twenty
B ucky was startled and turned toward Jane. He’d been too intent on finding what he was looking for.
He didn’t hear her car in the driveway or hear her come up the stairs. After Jane went into town earlier, he helped Clarence bring in some new cabinets for the small bedroom. Clarence left half an hour ago, and it was the perfect time to look quickly into the boxes of Mike’s things.
He was still crouched on the floor, holding old photos, letters and mementos, when she walked in. Memories that were both bittersweet and painful.
Jane stood by the door, her face a mixture of confusion and anger. “Those are my husband’s things.”
Damn. Caught.
Bucky’s heart raced. He gently placed the photos back in the box, stood, and ran his hands through his hair. “Jane. I…”
“I don’t understand what’s going on. Why are you looking in those boxes?”
Bucky sighed. “I can explain everything. Can we go downstairs and talk?”
Jane hesitated, but he knew she was curious. She motioned for him to follow her downstairs to the living room. She took a seat on the couch. Bucky sat across from her.
“Let’s hear it,” she demanded.
Bucky let out a deep breath. “I wasn’t stealing. I know it looks bad, but I was looking for something Mike might have saved.”
Her eyes narrowed. “How would you know what Mike saved? Did you know him?”
He took his time answering. “Mike and I were in foster care together.” He looked down, unable to meet her gaze.
Jane gasped. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
Bucky leaned back in the chair and faced her. “Because I knew how much Mike loved you and how much you looked up to him,” Bucky said, his voice trembling. “We were kinda wild when we were teenagers doing shi—stuff we shouldn’t have done. Mike turned himself around, got a scholarship to college, and had a perfect life. Me, not so much.”
“Okaaay.”
“I, on the other hand, have been in and out of jail. Mostly for petty stuff. Although I spent the past three years incarcerated.”
“I know,” she said, her voice softer. “But what were you looking for?”
He paused, took a deep breath, and said, “A girl lived with us in foster care. Her name was Lisa, and I loved her with every bit of my being.”
A pang of sympathy crossed her face. “What happened to her?”
“She was rap—” Bucky gulped before continuing. “Raped. She couldn’t handle it and committed suicide while I was in jail. When I heard, it destroyed me and Mike, although he never talked about it.”
“Why didn’t Mike ever tell me?”
“It was too painful for him. Her death was also the impetus for my time in prison. I found the bastard who raped her and beat the crap out of him. A friend stopped me just before I would have killed him.”
Jane’s eyes widened. “I would have done the same if it happened to someone I knew, but what does it have to do with Mike’s things?”
“Lisa kept a diary and wrote everything in it. I was hoping Mike kept it. If he did, I wanted it. If nothing else, to remind myself what Lisa and I had.” Bucky wiped a tear from his eye, then stared at his hands.
“Why didn’t you just tell me?”
“I wasn’t sure what state of mind you were in, especially after Mike’s death.”
Jane tilted her head. “How did you find out where I moved to?”
“I asked at your building, told the front desk I was a friend of Mike’s. Then I came here and watched to see how you were doing. It was the perfect opportunity to get closer when the sheep escaped.”
She gave him a wry smile. “What a story.” She squinted her eyes. “Do you know anything about animals?”
“Hell no.” Bucky gave her a small smile. “The only animals I was close to growing up were feral cats and rats.”
He kept clenching and unclenching his fist. “I’m sorry I lied. I understand if you want to fire me or have me arrested, but I really would love to have the diary if it’s here.” He hoped she wouldn’t do either. Arrest would lead to a lengthier prison sentence.
“I’m not going to fire you. Your help has been invaluable to me, and I am not going to have you arrested,” Jane said as she stood. “I just wish you told me up front. Why don’t we go up and look through the boxes and see if we can find that diary?”
Bucky nodded. A huge weight was lifted off his shoulders. As they headed back upstairs, Jane paused. “You didn’t write an anonymous note to me saying ‘You have something I want,’ did you?”
Bucky frowned and shook his head. “No. That’s just plain creepy.”
“Yeah, it is.”
They walked back to the room and settled on the floor. He watched as Jane picked up some photos and smiled.
“Gosh, these bring back such good memories. Mike was always smiling. Was he like that as a kid too?”
Bucky’s mind flitted through memories. “Most of the time, especially when he got into high school. Mrs. Martell took him under her wing and helped him get ahead.”
“Mike told me about her.” She cocked her head. “Why didn’t she help you?”
“I was the bad boy, the wild one, the kid no parent wanted their kid around.” He shook his head. “I didn’t fit in anywhere, and the only way I got attention was by stealing and acting out.”
She placed her hand on his arm. “I’m so sorry. No child should go through that. But there must have been some help available to you.”
“Well, if there was, no one volunteered.” He gave a little chuckle. “I’m not sure I would have been receptive.”
“How did Lisa fit into your life?”
Bucky closed his eyes, envisioning Lisa the first time he saw her. An angel, that was what he thought. Pale skin, light blond hair, a smile that brought tears to his eyes. He loved her from the moment she came into the foster home. She loved him, too. She always told him how wonderful he was, how he could do anything he set his mind to. Lisa believed in him. She was the only one.
“She loved me, and I knew I had found my soulmate. She wanted to wait until we graduated high school and got jobs before we got married. She wanted to be a nurse.”
Jane’s eyes got wide. “Aaand?”
He shook his head. “Not the love story ending you’re envisioning. I got caught stealing and ended up in juvie. When I got out, Lisa’s grandmother had whisked her away. I searched and searched for a year, and I finally found her in another town.”
“Then what happened?”
“She didn’t want to see me, but I persisted. Finally, she told me someone had raped her and she couldn’t be with me.” Bucky groaned. He never forgot the blank look in Lisa’s eyes, how devastated she was and how beyond angry he had been.
“I tried to convince her it didn’t matter, that I loved her. She didn’t believe me, just shut the door in my face.”
Jane wiped a tear from her face. “That is so sad. Where was Mike at the time?”
“By then, Mike was in college. But he had heard through another guy who had been in foster care with us that Lisa killed herself and that he knew who the rapist was.” He stopped. The pain he had pushed to the back of his heart came bursting through, and he didn’t trust himself to talk.
Talking a deep breath, Bucky said, “Mike remembered his name. I found the guy, told him who I was, what Lisa meant to me, and then I punched and kicked him until I was tired. Took a breath and started over. By the time…” He looked at Jane. “You don’t need to hear this.”
She narrowed her eyes. “Yes, I do. I refuse to stand back and diminish an innocent’s life to protect my own feelings.”
This woman! No wonder Mike married her. She was kind, generous, and fearless.
“By the time I finished, I had broken his nose, knocked out most of his teeth, and broke all his fingers besides kicking his balls into his ass.” Bucky stopped and sighed. “I wanted to kill him, but I couldn’t.”
“I’m glad you didn’t.” Jane leaned over and hugged him. “Mike was lucky to have you as a friend, and I am too. So, let’s see if we can find the diary and get you some peace.”
Then she winked at him. “Then you have work to do at the barn.”