2. Logan
Chapter Two
LOGAN
I stretch in my makeshift office, just the desk and chair in a suite hotel room. I could have gotten the penthouse, but it just seems like a waste when it’s just going to be me.
I won’t even pick up women to bring back to my room. Work always comes first and foremost. At least these days.
There was a time I was different–a hopeless romantic. A time when she came before anything.
But I learned that love is just a fairy tale.
Marriage. Family. A passing fancy.
Her face is in my mind when I shake my head.
No. I will not think about her. Not today. I’m busy.
Actually, I’ve been so busy that my eyes are crossing while I try to read over the paperwork my assistant brought me.
Maybe it’s time for a break.
I stretch again, getting up to go and look in the mirror.
Do I look as tired as I feel?
There are slight bangs under my eyes.
“Not too bad,” I mumble to myself, smoothing back my hair and rubbing the stubble on my chin.
I’m in my hometown after a long time away, and everything in my mind feels muddled. I can’t focus. I keep wanting to think about her .
The best way to cure that is probably to pour a little poison down my throat in the form of alcohol.
The only bar I know well is called Bennigan’s. From the name you’d think it’s an Irish pub, but instead, it’s just a real American dive.
I haven’t been there in years, and I guess I’m feeling a little nostalgic. I try hard not to think too much, try not to dwell on the past, but there are things I miss about this city.
I’m looking to expand my business in town, so I’ll be spending a lot of time here anyway.
Might as well check out my old haunts.
When I arrive at Bennigan’s, I’m not surprised that it’s packed–it is Friday at nine in the evening, after all.
What does surprise me is that other than adding a few new pool tables, the place is exactly the same as the last time I saw it.
Down to the bartender–a big guy named Fred who always kept an eye out for me and my friends when we were really too young to be in there.
“That can’t be Logan,” he drawls as I find an empty spot at the bar and slide onto a barstool.
“It can be. How you been, Fred?”
“Oh, you know, same shit, different day.”
I chuckle. “I hear that. Give me a beer, would you?”
“You’re finally old enough now.”
The grin that spreads across my face feels almost strange.
I’ve been so focused on building my business that I haven’t let myself relax in so long. It feels good.
I sip my beer, scanning the bar to see what kind of people are in here. I notice a few women at a table. Not that I’m looking for anything. Women are more trouble than they’re worth, and I stay as far from that particular species as I can.
Her face flashes in my mind’s eyes again.
Stop it!
Love is just a fairy tale, and I don’t have time for stories that won’t come true. Not for me, at least.
“Logan?”
The voice behind me is very familiar, and I swivel around on the barstool to spot Grayson Whitlock, my childhood best friend who I haven’t seen in way too long.
Shock rockets through me. “Grayson? You’re still living here?”
“Born and bred.” He grins, clapping me on the shoulder and pulling me into a hug. “It’s been a million years since I’ve seen you.”
“Been busy.” I keep looking at him. “What have you been up to?”
He shrugs, but his face looks ten years younger than it should. He looks happy. It almost makes me sad that I don’t feel that level of contentment.
“You know, work, wife and kids, the regular.”
My eyes widen. “Wife and kids? You can’t be serious.”
He laughs out loud, a free sound that makes my heart feel warm.
“Lillian and I have been married for a couple of years now. Two kids.”
“Holy shit!”
Grayson keeps grinning, looking a bit sheepish. “I feel a little bad that I came out drinking without her, but she’s visiting her family upstate with the kids. I had to stay home for work.”
Looking at Grayson makes me wonder about someone I shouldn’t be wondering about, but I can’t help from asking the question.
“How’s Meredith?”
I wish I could take the words back the moment they leave my lips. I shouldn’t care how Meredith is, shouldn’t worry that she’s married with kids of her own. It doesn’t matter. It shouldn’t matter.
And yet…
“She’s doing all right.” Something sounds off as he sits on the barstool next to me. “Still living with Mother.”
I frown. “Really? But didn’t she become a lawyer?”
He snorts. “No. Burned out her sophomore year of college. Had some kind of nervous breakdown. She’s always been high-strung.”
I don’t remember her as high-strung, but as confident, ambitious… Absolutely beautiful.
I swallow hard, a sudden lump in my throat.
“But you know Meredith, she’s making the best of it.” Grayson shrugs. “Living it up.”
Of course, she is. The Meredith I know would never let anything get in the way of living the life she wants to live. Maybe she’s changed her dreams, but I’m sure she’s going after them.
What happened was for the best.
She deserves so much better than me. She deserves the world, even if she could never see that.
It hurts too much to think about her. “So, tell me all about you and Lillian. I remember when you first met her–you were convinced she was the love of your life.”
Grayson grins, sipping his beer while I chug mine and telling me the whole, romantic story. It’s like something out of one of those romance books my grandmother used to hide in her bookshelf.
“Maybe sometimes, love isn’t just a fairy tale,” I muse, my head spinning from the alcohol I have imbibed in.
Grayson chuckles. “What makes you think it’s ever a fairy tale? Even a relationship like mine and Lillian’s—It's work.”
I nod, but it just makes me dizzy. I argue when Grayson offers to pay the check, but I’ve accidentally gotten too drunk, and I end up letting him.
“Get home safe,” Fred says.
Grayson puts me in the back of a car. “Where are you staying?”
I don’t even remember leaving the bar.
“The Four Seasons.” I give him my room number.
“Let’s meet up in the morning.” Grayson laughs when he looks down at his watch, his own eyes glassy, even though he seems less intoxicated than I feel. “Make it noon, actually.”
“See you then.”
I try to look out of the window as we drive by, but it makes me feel nauseous, and I curse myself for not paying more attention to what I was drinking. I don’t like being this drunk. It makes me feel out of control, and control is something that’s very important to me.
Because if I don’t control myself, the darkness might creep in. Something dark and hopeless that lives deep down inside me.
I vaguely remember getting into the elevator and pressing the top floor button, and by the time I stumble into my room and plop down on the bed, I know I’m on the verge of passing out.
All I can see in my mind’s eye are Meredith’s bright blue eyes.
When I wake, the sunlight digs into my eyeballs, and someone is knocking on my door.
“No housekeeping,” I rasp, but the knocking doesn’t stop.
I groan loudly and make my way to the door, jerking it open.
Grayson stands there, looking a bit rumpled and just wearing sweats and a tank top.
He pushes past me into the room. “God, are you as hungover as I am?”
I open and close my dry mouth. “Is it noon already?”
Grayson shrugs. “Almost.”
“I’m never drinking with you again.” My voice is cracked and raw, and I go to the sink to drink water directly from the tap.
My old friend just chuckles. “You never were good at holding your liquor.”
“I’m still not.” I’m not exactly a teetotaler, but I only drink socially, and last night, I stumbled right over that line. Probably because we were talking about Meredith. Probably because I didn’t want the darkness to seep in. “What did you even want to meet about?”
“Work. I heard around town you’ve been hoping to expand in the city. I wanted to offer you some advice.”
I raise an eyebrow, my brain still not working properly. “Since when do you give business advice?”
He puffs his chest. “Since I built my business from the ground up.”
Of course, I’d heard of his business, but I’m not completely sure he did it all on his own. After all, he’s a trust fund baby.
Some of us didn’t have that opportunity.
I clear my throat, not wanting to be a dick. I’m sure Grayson works hard, it’s just that I started with absolutely nothing. He at least has his father’s business network.
“What’s your advice?”
“Expand.” He goes to the kitchenette to steal a sparkling water from my minibar. “Buy up all the local places you can. You can make them part of your franchise as you grow.”
“That’s actually not a bad idea.” I’ve already got a ton of zeroes in the bank given my mechanic franchise company’s growth over the last few years, so I have the capital to do as he suggests.
Grayson snorts. “What, the guy you met in high school who never worked a day in his life isn't convincing now as a business owner?”
I snicker. “I guess people change, right?”
“I threw myself into work after losing Lillian.”
Heat floods my face.
That’s pretty much what I did after what happened with Meredith, but it’s not like I can say that. Grayson has never known anything about me and Meredith.
And now, he’ll never know because there’s nothing to tell. Not anymore.
“I’ll take a look at some of the local places.”
“Tire shops, transmission joints–you can really branch out.”
We talk for a while about our work, about how our lifestyles have changed–his not as much, mine immensely.
Considering the last time Grayson saw me I was in the back of a police car, I’m sure he’s surprised at what I’ve become.
By the time Grayson leaves, it’s getting close to four in the afternoon, and I want to look at some local places.
He’s right, I really should branch out.
I drive around downtown and talk to a tire shop who doesn’t appear to want to sell, and then I come by a local mechanic place–jack of all trades, it says on the sign.
Everything from oil changes to transmission flushes. Something that would definitely expand my franchise.
I brush off my suit before I step onto the curb. Glancing inside, I notice the receptionist on the phone.
She’s not looking in my direction, but I’d know that profile anywhere. Her long nose, full lips, upturned chin. Bright blue eyes and auburn hair, always straightened, just past her shoulders.
Meredith Whitlock .
The love of my life. The one that got away.
I should turn around and get back into my rental car. I should head back to the hotel, figure this out, skip this particular local business.
I know myself, and if I buy this place, I'll want to see Meredith, want to talk to her.
I know I can’t control myself around her.
It doesn’t matter if years have passed since I saw her.
But I’m no longer who I was back then. So, maybe…
I look up at the sign, typing the number into my phone.
“Mr. Green? Are you the owner?” I smile when he answers in the affirmative.
To hell with it. You only live once, right? Might as well throw caution to the wind.