8. Logan
Chapter Eight
LOGAN
I stand outside for a long time after Meredith storms out. Having her in my arms had been so brief, but so important. Like her body was imprinted on mine and they fit together perfectly. Like I was able to breathe for the first time since the last time I held her.
God, I miss her.
I can’t even deny it to myself anymore. And it’s not just the sex, although God knows I miss that. It’s her personality, how I used to be able to tell her anything.
Now it’s like we’re a million miles apart at all times. It hurts my heart, and I have to somehow convince her to be friends. Because though I know I lost any chance I might have had with her, I just want her back in my life.
I run my hands through my hair to tame it and head back inside, determined.
The first thing I see is Meredith, sitting on the edge of a table with a guy standing in front of her–Paul, I think, one of my head mechanics.
Meredith’s looking up at him and laughing, nursing a glass of wine, and the look on her face…
My heart clenches in my chest, and every part of me wants to walk up to him and shove him away from her. They’re not even touching, but the scene is driving me crazy.
I’ve always been the jealous type, and with Meredith–well, sometimes, I even went overboard, back when I was young, getting into fights with guys who hit on her.
Well, now I have to fire him.
Javier comes up to me, and I have to force myself remove my eyes from Meredith, looking over at him and trying not to be annoyed.
“I just wanted to say thank you.” Javier smiles, and I feel bad for my irritation. It’s not his fault that Paul is about to be fired and possibly on his ass outside Bennigan’s. “The salary boost has really helped me and my family.”
“You’re married?”
He snorts. “No, but I take care of my mother. She’s not well.”
“Oh, I’m sorry.”
I remember the last days of my mother’s life, how much time we spent in and out of the hospital.
“I’m not trying to give you a sob story, just wanted to say I appreciate it, boss.”
I smile back at him. “You’re very welcome, Javier. Dean says you’re his hardest worker.”
Javier beams and heads over to Dean, hugging the older man from behind.
Everyone really is like a family here, and I really enjoy my new employees.
Except Paul.
I glance back over at Meredith, and now she’s closer, leaning up and looking up at him with big blue eyes, and I simply cannot take it anymore.
I put myself physically between them, knocking Paul out of the way, and I look down at Meredith.
“You want to go get something to eat?” I ask brightly, and she glares at me, opening her mouth to probably give me the tongue lashing of a lifetime.
But Dean saves me by coming up to us, clearly tipsy.
“You two have to get to know each other better. You should go with him, Meredith.”
Meredith stiffens, but she finally hops off the table and gives Dean a big hug.
“I’ll miss you, boss.”
Dean seems a little teary-eyed but at least Meredith doesn’t say a word to Paul, just leaves with me. It makes my chest puff up.
Meredith crosses her arms over her chest. “We don’t have to do this.”
“What do you mean? The old man said?—”
“I know what he said. But you don’t have to pretend to be interested in hanging out with me.”
“Who’s pretending?”
Meredith glances at me, flushing slightly. “You’re the one who left, Logan, so why would you want anything to do with me now?”
If only I could tell her. Explain it. “I was young then. We both were. I just… I wish we could be friends again.”
“What, and let bygones be bygones?”
“Exactly that.”
She sighs. “I’m too drunk to drive.”
“Me, too.” It’s not exactly a lie, but I’m definitely not as inebriated as I was when Grayson and I were out, so I consider it a win.
“I don’t want to be friends,” she announces, and my shoulders slump. “But I guess we can get to know each other again. Like Dean wants.”
I have to fight the smile from my face, not wanting to seem too excited.
When we arrive at the diner, she waves at the hostess, and I raise an eyebrow.
“Are you a regular here?”
“You don’t remember my insane love for French fries?”
I chuckle. “I guess I should have known you weren’t going to grow out of it.”
“I was fifteen when we met, not five.” She sits across from me and crosses her legs. She seems a little more open with me and, even if it’s the alcohol, I’m still thankful.
“Fifteen. God, we were such babies.”
Meredith nods, but her mood suddenly seems dimmed, and I hate myself.
“What do you think of Paul?”
Her eyes shoot to mine, a little smirk pulling up the corner of her mouth. “Should have known you were jealous.”
“Who says I’m jealous? Do I have anything to be jealous about?” My mouth keeps running, and I wish I could sew it shut.
“Given we haven’t been a thing in years, I’d say you don’t.”
“That’s not what I meant, princess.”
“I said don’t call me that,” she says through gritted teeth.
Am I half-hard right now?
This banter, the way she’s giving it back to me as good as I give it... it’s really turning me on.
“Meredith,” I start, but she’s already chewing on her fries, and it feels like the moment has passed.
Probably for the best. Even if I do become friends with Meredith again, sleeping with her would likely throw me right back to the awful place I was in when we broke up.
God knows I never want to go back there.
“Meredith, what?” she asks, her mouth full.
“Are you going to answer my question?”
“I did.”
I groan. “You’re driving me crazy.”
“Good.”
I grit my teeth, aroused and angry at the same time. “Are you or are you not interested in Paul?”
She looks at me a moment longer, smiling. “Not.”
I let out a sigh. “Good.”
She laughs, and the sound is free and wonderful. I haven’t heard her laugh in years, not like that. Not because of me.
“You just can’t get rid of that jealous streak, can you?”
“Can you? You were at least as bad as I was.”
“I’ll have you know I’ve grown.”
“Have you? Mind if I ask Dina out?” I tease, and her face goes blank.
“She has a boyfriend.”
“Meredith! I wasn’t going to ask her out. It was a joke. I was proving you were jealous.”
“Oh.” Her cheeks go tomato red.
“You were jealous.”
“Shut up. I don’t want to play this game anymore,” she mutters, and I laugh, having ignored my food but now picking up my burger.
“You started it.”
She chuckles and continues eating her food. She’s so mercurial now, the ups and downs I thought she would have grown out of just seem to be worse.
Or maybe that’s my fault. Maybe it’s just how she is around me. But the passion of it, the unpredictability—I find it even more attractive than I did back then.
I want her so badly it's hard to look at her. I keep focusing on her mouth.
“Logan?”
I blink, making eye contact. “Yeah?”
“You need a box?”
“Oh. No.” I look down at my half-eaten burger.
She shrugs and hails the server. She’s trying to get out of here as soon as possible.
I frown. “So, that’s it?”
“That’s it.” There’s something grave in her voice, and it’s then that I remember our breakup conversation.
“Fuck, Meredith, I didn’t mean to?—”
“You know what? You can pay the check. For once.”
It’s a low blow.
She was always the one offering to pay back then because she was the one with money. She knew I couldn’t keep a dime because of my father’s alcohol problem.
I grit my teeth. “I want you in my life, Meredith.”
“I don’t want you in mine.”
She stands up, storming out of the restaurant, and I curse inwardly, throwing too much cash down on the table and rushing after her.
“Meredith!” I call, and she stops but doesn’t turn, her shoulders stiff. “I’m sorry?—”
She turns, stalking back toward me. “You act like I never meant anything at all to you.”
All the air goes out of my lungs in a whoosh.
“Don’t you fucking say that,” I hiss. “You have no idea what you meant to me. What you still mean to me.”
“Logan, don’t?—”
I can’t stop myself. I take the step between us and lean down to kiss her as hard as I can.
She melts into my arms.
I’m doomed.