13. Meredith
Chapter Thirteen
MEREDITH
It’s a couple of weeks before I finally feel comfortable in my own skin again, and only when Logan isn’t around. Luckily, he’s been leaving early, so at least in the afternoon, I can work in peace.
Thank God it’s Friday, and I have a weekend away from Logan to try and get my bearings back.
On the way home from work, my phone buzzes in my pocket.
I pull it out, look at the caller ID, and answer.
“Hey, Dad.”
“Meredith. I wanted to invite you to dinner tonight. Grayson and Lillian and the kids will come by later, but I thought you and I could talk first.”
“Is... is something wrong?” Panic rises in my chest.
What if they’ve found out about Logan?
“No, nothing at all, sweetheart. I just want to see you. I miss you.”
“Me, too.”
Living in that big mansion with my mother can sometimes be suffocating, and being with my dad here and there brings me some breathing space and time I really need.
“Then I’ll see you soon?”
“I’m leaving now.”
We hang up, and I head home first, changing into a simple sundress and letting my shower-damp hair hang down my back.
When I arrive, my father smiles, gesturing for me to come in.
After I walk inside, he hugs me tightly, and I press my face against his chest.
Suddenly, emotion rises in me and my eyes water.
I miss my dad. It wasn’t an active choice that I made, staying with my mother, not at first. And I’m not happy. Ever. But I’m not totally miserable some of the time. Depends on the day.
“I should tell you that I know your secret,” he murmurs close to my ear, and my heart starts racing, trying to escape out of my chest through my mouth as I pull away.
“What secret?”
He snorts. “Come on, Meredith. I know you’ve gotten a job. I keep tabs on my little girl.”
Oh. The job.
I frown. “Are you going to ask me to quit?”
His eyes widen. “Oh, no. Nothing like that, sweetheart. Birds always leave the nest sometime, don’t they?”
“Try telling that to Mother,” I mutter, and guilt weighs me down for bringing her up.
He clears his throat. “I know, I’m sorry about that.”
“She’s just so controlling.”
He sighs. “Yes, she is, but maybe in your case, she has her reasons, honey. I don’t know if you know this, but when you were a baby, you weren’t well.”
“I wasn’t?” I don’t remember being sickly as a kid, just my mother’s helicopter-parenting.
“You had a heart murmur. It was detected when you were only a few weeks old, so it was pretty scary for all of us.”
I stare at him.
Why is this the first I’m hearing about this?
“I got better?”
“You grew out of it. But there were a lot of scary moments. You had to be closely monitored for a couple of years, and your mother... well, she’d be out of bed and rushing to you at the slightest movement you made. She watched you day and night.”
“How come she never told me this?”
He shrugs. “She probably doesn’t like remembering it. It was a stressful time for all of us. I'm not even sure Grayson remembers. We tried to pretend all was well around him, and then you got better, but your mother... I guess she still worries about you.”
I keep staring at him, shocked.
My mother is usually the first one to tell stories about when we were babies, but this one, she kept under wraps? Why?
“In any case, I don’t have a heart murmur anymore. And I’m a grown woman.”
“It’s hard to see your baby as an adult.” My father smiles at me. “But I’m doing my best, and I’m sure Mallory is, too.”
“Are you two... talking again?”
“God, no.”
I suppose that’s a little comforting. When everything first went down with Grayson, Dad swore he’d never speak to her again unless Grayson one day forgave her.
Not that they talked much before they went no contact, but still.
And it’s not that I don’t understand Grayson’s decision to cut our mother out of his children’s lives. I was there. I saw how low she went. I’m one hundred percent on Grayson’s side there, as is my father.
She has no access to Max or Kylie, and she gets not even a word about their family from me either.
She made her own bed, and until she learns her lesson, she has to lie in it.
“Grayson and Lillian will bring the kids, right?”
My father smiles. “Of course. I just wanted to talk to you first, about this job.”
“Oh. Right.”
I expect him to scold me, but he just gives me an even smile.
“I’m proud of you, honey. Your first job and as a manager!”
“You’re proud of me?” Tears well in my eyes.
He reaches to take my hands in his. “Of course, I am, Mere. You’re my daughter, and whatever path you choose, I’ll support you. I want you to have your own life, even if I have the means to take care of you forever.”
I sniffle, a couple of tears falling down my face. “I appreciate that so much, Daddy.” I give him a big hug before straightening up and huffing out a breath. “I’m going to wash my face.”
I take a shaky breath when I walk into the bathroom, and I wait inside until my eyes aren’t red anymore, washing my face and patting it dry with a decorative towel.
Voices come through the bathroom door, and I realize that Grayson and Lillian and the kids must have shown up.
I take another, less shaky breath and push the door open. I break out into a smile as soon as Kylie starts to run toward me.
I scoop her up in my arms, kissing along the side of her chubby face.
“Aunt Meredith! I haven’t seen you in forever .”
I laugh. “You just saw me the other night at dinner!”
“I fell asleep right after dinner.” She pouts. “This time, I’m going to stay awake. For hours.”
Lillian groans. “Don’t start with that, little one. Your bedtime is at seven-thirty on the dot.”
Kylie rolls around in my arms while I laugh a little. “That’s so early.”
I chuckle. “Kiddo, one day, you’ll be wishing you could take naps and go to bed early.”
Kylie glares at me. “Maybe when I’m old .”
I give her a pained look. “Do you think I’m old?”
“Pretty old.” She wriggles down out of my arms as her brother calls to her to come play in the den.
She runs off to Max, and I look over at Lillian, smiling and drawing her into a quick hug.
“She’ll pass out before dessert.”
“Don’t count on it. She’s been fighting sleep something serious lately.” Lillian does look tired. “And Grayson’s been working so much with his best friend...”
“With Logan?”
She blinks at me. “Oh, yeah, I forgot he’s your boss. Grayson’s company is doing an ad campaign for him, and for the last couple of weeks, they’ve been working closely together.”
Oh.
So, that’s why Logan hasn’t been around as much. That’s why he’s been leaving early. Because he’s wrapped up in business with my brother.
Instead of getting further away from Logan, I seem to be getting tangled deeper in his web.
I try to keep my expression blank, not wanting Lillian to guess that something’s going on.
She’s very perceptive.
I love my sister-in-law, she’s the sister I never had, but she’s too nosy sometimes. God knows I don’t want her to figure out anything happened between me and Logan.
“Where is my stupid brother, anyway?”
“Right here.” Grayson puts me in a headlock, giving me a half-hearted noogie.
I groan and wriggle free, hitting at him as I move away.
Grayson chuckles, taking my beating with good nature. “I wanted to talk to you anyway, Mere.”
“About what?”
Lillian winces. “Listen, it was kind of my idea.”
I groan, imagining what’s coming next.
“I do not want to be set up on a date.” I hope I sound less whiny and firmer than I think.
I really do not want to be set up. Blind dates are always death.
Lillian smiles apologetic. “It’s not exactly a setup.”
I rub a hand across my face. “What is it, then?”
“My cousin needs a date to his sister’s wedding.”
“Oh, absolutely not. No weddings.”
“Will you just meet him for drinks?” she pleads. “He’s really in a tight.”
I blow my hair out of my face, annoyed. “Fine. Drinks, but that’s it. What’s his name, anyway?”
“His name is David. He’s very nice, and cute.” Lillian pulls up a picture on her phone.
He is handsome in a really traditional, clean-cut, blond guy with blue eyes, probably always wears a polo shirt kind of way.
Not really my type. My type has long, dark hair and hazel eyes that have green around the iris…
Maybe this is a good thing. Maybe going for drinks with someone nice and relatively handsome will get my mind off Logan, at least for a while.
“Dinner’s served!” My father’s personal chef, Felicity, holds the door to the dining room.
I smile at her as I pass her, smelling the delicious scent of her most recent creation.
Felicity gestures to the food. “Mushroom ravioli with pesto, a light spring salad, and some tiramisu for dessert.”
My father sits at the end of the table. “It smells divine.”
Felicity smiles and exits the room as we all sit down.
Kylie insists on sitting next to me in her highchair, and halfway through dinner, she starts to fall over in her seat, her eyes drooping shut, long lashes fanning across her cheekbones.
“She’s so beautiful,” I murmur, and Lillian barks out a laugh.
“Tell her that when she poops in the tub.”
Max snickers, and I can’t help but laugh, too.
My father shakes his head, but he’s grinning. “No potty talk at the dinner table.”
“She didn’t make it to dessert.” I pick Kylie up out of the chair and hold her after I finish eating, just liking the weight of her in my arms.
My heart aches. I’ve always wanted kids, a houseful of them, but it doesn’t seem like it’s in the cards for me.
Ever since Logan left me, I gave those dreams up.
Lillian smiles at me, fondly. “You’ll have one of your own sooner than you’ll think, I’m sure.”
I smile sadly, wondering if she has somehow gained the ability to read my mind. “I don’t know about that.”
Grayson puts an arm around Lilian’s shoulder. “One day.”
My father puts his hand on mine. “You’ve got plenty of time.”
I nod slowly, even though I feel like my biological clock is ticking too hard.
I’m on the wrong side of twenty to be thinking about having babies when I have no romantic prospects except for an ex who ruined me.
“I was telling Mere about that heart murmur she used to have.”
Grayson frowns. “I think I remember something about that, but not much.”
I snort. “I could have died, and you weren’t even bothered?”
He smirks. “Exactly.”
I shake my head, and Lillian stands to take Kylie from me.
“I’m going to take her out to the car. We should get going. Max’s bedtime is in an hour.”
Max groans. “It’s a Friday, Mom.”
“If you’re good and help me with your sister, I’ll let you watch a couple of episodes of that cartoon you like.”
He perks up, putting his fork down and going to say goodbye to his grandfather and then me. He gives me a half-hug.
He’s growing up so fast.
Grayson hangs behind, sweeping me into a sudden hug. He’s not the world’s most affectionate brother, so it’s a little disconcerting.
“Everything okay?” I pat his back.
“Fine.” He smiles at me. “It’s just that my baby sister is finally growing up. I’m proud of you.”
My cheeks heat up.
Both the men in my life giving me this kind of praise makes me feel a little uncomfortable.
After all, what if I can’t do it? What if I can’t keep up with my job and everything that goes with it?
What if, just like before, I let Logan ruin everything?