22. Logan
Chapter Twenty-Two
LOGAN
I feel strangely nervous as the day comes to an end at the office. I’m supposed to go over to Meredith’s, and it’s not like it’s the first time I’ve gone to her house when her parents are away. But other than when she was sick, it’s been a long time.
And things are different now. We’re different people–aren’t we? And Meredith is pregnant , which is something I still haven’t had time to process and wrap my head around. All I know is that I want to be there for her in any way that she’ll let me.
So, if coming over to give her a foot rub is the only way to be with her, so be it.
I spend some time at the grocery store, picking out Meredith’s favorite snacks, like cherry sours–who even eats those anymore? I also pick up her favorite ice cream, Cherry Garcia. What can I say, my princess likes cherries.
I also grab the ingredients for what used to be her favorite food–Cajun shrimp alfredo. She used to order it at this really fancy place near her parents’ place, but they’ve since closed down.
I consider myself a bit of an amateur chef, so maybe I can do it justice.
When I arrive at Meredith’s door, she opens it, and her blue eyes widen.
“Did you bring the kitchen sink?”
I laugh. “Something told me you wouldn’t have all the ingredients I need for your favorite meal.”
“You’re not going to make me Cajun shrimp alfredo.”
I grin. “Just watch me.”
“Are you still cooking?” She peeks in the bags as I take them inside and put them on the counter. “Cherry sours!”
I swat at her hand. “Yes, I’m still cooking, but no snacks until after dinner.”
She frowns, but then gives me a little smirk. “Yes, daddy.”
I shudder. “Don’t call me that, it’s weird.”
She giggles and helps me unpack the rest of the groceries, seeming to be in a good mood.
But her stomach growls as I start to put things into the fridge. It’s only four o’clock, but if she’s hungry now...
“Grab me the garlic,” I tell her, and she does as I say, handing me the ingredients and helping me chop the onions, tears streaming down her face.
I can’t help but laugh at her trembling lip, the little pout.
She sniffles. “You shouldn’t laugh at a crying woman. Especially a pregnant one.”
“It’s just the onions, princess. I wouldn’t make you cry otherwise.”
She gives me a look, and I wince, having not realized what I said. I did make her cry one time, for sure, and probably multiple times if I’m honest with myself.
But she’d done the same to me.
I slide past that uncomfortable moment and start the sauce while the water is boiling for the pasta.
Meredith watches me multitask.
“You’re pretty good at this.”
“Not that good. I’m still following a recipe, but I could make you a mean chili that’s all my own.”
“You could have made that instead.”
I shake my head. “I wanted you to have your favorite, and it’s a fairly quick meal.”
I walk over to Meredith, offering her a taste of the sauce.
She makes a low moaning sound in the back of her throat. “Oh, it’s so good, Logan.”
Her voice sounds husky, and my cock jumps in my slacks.
I clear my throat and go back to the sauce, making sure the cheese melts evenly while adding the heavy cream.
I need to focus on dinner and not jumping Meredith’s bones. She already told me that it was a mistake to sleep with me. It’s not like she’s ever going to let me touch her again.
Something like despair rolls through me, but I brush it off.
I’m going to enjoy tonight if it's the last thing I do.
Maybe Meredith doesn't want me, but she’s pregnant with my baby, and that stands for something. I'll take any crumb I can get when it comes to her.
I plate the food and put it out on the huge dining room table. I sit across from Meredith, and she looks down at her plate.
“It’s really sweet that you did all this, Logan.”
I look up at her, I’m surprised at the tears welling in her beautiful, blue eyes. “Princess, what’s wrong?”
She sniffles and wipes at her eyes. “Nothing. Just hormones, I guess. It just means a lot to me that you’re here for me.”
“Of course, I am.” I huff out a breath. “If you’d told me earlier that this baby was mine, I wouldn’t have been so...”
“Nuts?”
“Nuts is probably an understatement.” I’ve been at the end of my rope ever since she told me she was pregnant, and all this time, it turns out I’m the father. Thank God.
She chuckles. “You always were the possessive type. I guess I’m not surprised you were upset.”
Upset isn’t exactly the word. Devastated, maybe. But there’s no reason to hold a grudge. I’m happy that this baby is mine and that I get to be in Meredith’s life for at least the next eighteen years.
“You weren’t going to ever tell me?” I’m unable to hold back the words. I’ve told myself to let it go, but I guess there’s some lingering emotion there.
She takes in a breath. “I think I was always going to tell you. I just didn’t know how.”
“I’m glad you did.” I run my hand through my hair before nudging her plate toward her. “Now, eat.”
Meredith smiles and rolls the pasta onto her fork, spearing a shrimp before bringing the bite to her mouth.
Her full lips part, and her eyes dilate as she eats, and I can’t stop smiling at her.
“Good?”
“Unbelievable,” she mumbles, her mouth full. “This is better than the restaurant!”
“I don’t know about that.” My chest swells.
“It’s delicious, Logan, really.” She eats her fill, getting seconds but being unable to finish the second plate.
I pick at my food, not that hungry. It almost makes me feel full just to see her enjoying her meal.
She pushes her chair back from the table, groaning. “You’re going to have to carry me around now. I can’t move.”
“That can be arranged.” I stand up and walk over to her, scooping her up into my arms.
She laughs and tucks her face against my chest, and my heart aches with how much I love her. How much I want to tell her that I love her, ask her to be mine.
But I lost that right a long time ago.
I carry her to the wraparound couch, putting her in the corner I know is her favorite. We’ve cuddled there many times when her parents were out of town.
She puts her head on my chest, clutching at me, and I flip on the television, putting on one of her favorite Christmas movies. It’s nowhere near Christmas, of course, but she’s always loved the classics.
“Time for your foot rub.”
Meredith blinks. “I’d almost forgotten.”
I stand up and head to the closest bathroom, grabbing some perfumed lotion and sitting back down.
She puts her feet in my lap, and I put the lotion on my hands, rubbing them together to warm it before starting to rub her feet.
She starts making noises that are downright pornographic, but I try to ignore it, rubbing the heel of her foot.
My hands eventually make their way up her calves, and she groans.
“It feels like my whole body is made up of knots.”
“I’ve heard pregnancy is bad on the joints.” I’ve been doing a lot of reading since realizing that I’m going to be a father. It’s not like I had the world’s best role model.
“Pregnancy kind of sucks,” she mutters, looking at me with half-lidded eyes.
She looks sleepy, and sure enough, she’s out before the movie is over.
I stand up and scoop her back into my arms, taking her upstairs to her room. She wakes as I lie her down, and she scrambles into a sitting position.
“You’re not leaving?”
I tilt my head. “Not yet. Unless you want me to?”
She shakes her head. “No. Want you to hold me. Will you hold me, Logan?”
Her voice sounds small, and I immediately crawl into bed next to her, drawing her into my arms.
She places her mouth right at the base of my throat, kissing there, open-mouthed, and a groan rumbles in my chest.
“Don’t.”
“Why not?” There’s a hint of mischief in her eyes. “Not like we can do much more damage.”
I guess she means the pregnancy, but what she doesn’t understand is that a lot more damage can be done.
I’ve already accepted that I’m going to be head over heels for Meredith Whitlock until the day I die, but being near her, touching her... It makes it worse.
I should walk away. Make some excuse about work, get the hell out of here before I fall even harder.
But I’ve never been a great listener, not even to myself.
I kiss her, sticking my tongue in between her parted lips, and she moans into my mouth, clutching at my shirt and starting to unbutton it.
I chuckle as she impatiently pushes at it. I sit up and pull it off and her hands are already on my belt buckle. I draw in a sharp breath.
“Not yet.”
She pouts but moves her hands, and I undress her slowly, pulling off the dress she’s wearing over her head and looking down at her cotton panties. She clearly hadn’t expected to be seen because they’re plain, but she would look sexy to me even in a burlap sack.
I cup her breasts in my hands when they bounce free of her bra, dragging my thumbs across her peaked nipples.
She gasps. “Logan.”
I grunt, my cock standing at attention just from looking at her.
So fucking gorgeous.
“Thank you,” she says quietly, and I don’t realize I’ve said it out loud until she speaks.
“Want to taste you.” The words rumble in my chest, and I kiss between her breasts, lick my way around her bellybutton.
She shivers but pushes at my shoulders. “I haven’t shaved.”
I bark out a laugh. “Did I ask if you’ve shaved?”
“Seriously, Logan, it’s like a jungle down there.”
I roll my eyes. “I guess I’m going on a safari, then.”
She giggles but when I remove her panties, she looks up at me with her bottom lip caught between her teeth.
“You look beautiful.” I look down at her sex. I part her pubic hair with my fingers, pressing my thumb against her clit, and she gasps.
I settle between her legs, sliding my hands under her ass to bring her pussy to my mouth. I inhale deeply, loving the musk of her, the way she smells like mine.
I kiss her clit softly once, twice, and her thighs are trembling when I slide two fingers inside her. I latch around her clit, sucking and moaning against her.
“Fuck, Logan.” She rocks her hips up, and I love the way she grinds against my face.
I flatten my tongue against her, pumping my fingers in and out of her as she fucks herself against my tongue.
“I’m going to come,” she moans, arching her back, and I pump my fingers deeper, loving the way she clenches around me.
I make her come twice with my mouth and my fingers before sitting up on my knees, breathing hard, the smell and taste of her all around me like an intoxicating fog.
I’m so hard that I can barely stand it, but I just lie next to her, trying not to poke her in the hip with my erection.
She frowns. “What about you?”
“Blue balls are a myth, princess.”
“Maybe so, but that can’t be comfortable.” She sits up, licking her lips. “Let me take care of you.”
How long has it been since her mouth was on me?
I shudder. “You don’t have to.”
“I want to.” She puts her hand on my belt buckle, deftly unbuttoning everything and pushing down my slacks until my cock bounces free.
I lean back against the headboard, hitting the back of my head when I throw it back as her small fingers envelop me.
“You’re so hard.”
“All because of you, princess. No one else gets me hard like this.”
Her gaze flicks to mine. “Do you mean that?”
“I mean everything I say to you.”
I’m light-headed as she starts to pump my length, and when she dips her head to take the head into her mouth, I groan so loudly that if Meredith’s parents had any neighbors, they’d be clutching their pearls.
Luckily, there’s no one around for miles, and I don’t have to worry about being quiet. Which is good, because my breath becomes ragged as soon as she takes me deeper, gagging slightly.
Her blue eyes water as she looks up at me, but she doesn’t stop, bobbing her head, and I pulse under her tongue as she slides it around my head.
“Oh fuck , princess, your mouth feels so good. So hot. So wet.”
I’m babbling, but I don’t care. I’m so close I could explode, and I touch her shoulder.
“I can’t hold back, princess, I’m going to come in your mouth.”
She doesn’t respond, just keeping her eyes on mine, and I cry out her name when I spill into her mouth.
She swallows, smiling around me, milking me for all I’m worth before popping off me.
I pant, trying to come down.
“That was even better than dinner,” she drawls, and a shiver of pleasure rushes through me at her words. “Thank you.”
“Thank me ?” I bark out a laugh.
“Yes. For the food, the foot rub. The orgasms. For just... being here. I don’t know. I worried when I first told you that you’d just...”
“Run off?”
My heart clenches in my chest. I hate that she thought that, but what else did I expect?
I ran off before. She has no guarantee I won’t do it again.
I pull her into my arms, and she places her head on my chest, listening to my rapid heartbeat.
“I’m not going anywhere unless you send me away.”
“You promise?”
“With everything in me, Meredith. I swear to you. You and this baby have me. As long as you want me.”
She relaxes against me, and I’m not surprised that she’s dozing again when she starts to snore lightly.
God, I wish…
I wish.
I wish I could be the man she wanted. The man she deserved.
But if wishes were horses, beggars would ride.