28. Logan
Chapter Twenty-Eight
LOGAN
I groan and slam my hands against the steering wheel before taking off and heading back to my lonely hotel room.
When I arrive in the hallway, Grayson’s waiting for me, smiling.
Great.
Just the person I’d hoped I wouldn't run into today, after having a huge fight with his baby sister.
“Hey, Grayson.” I unlock the door with the key card.
“You seem to be in a mood .”
I sigh. “Just tired, I guess. What’s up?”
“Your commercial with Meredith has blown up on social media. I’d be expecting a lot more calls.”
“Grayson, we’re already on a three-month waiting list.”
“All the more reason to open up a new location.”
I guess that is the next step. I need to go downtown and look at the prospects. I’ve just been so busy with Meredith and the baby.
But maybe it’s time to throw myself back into work. That was the only way I got over her the first time, if I ever did.
Despite my stony mood, I try to put a smile on my face for Grayson.
“So, what’s the next step?”
He frowns. “I think the next step is lunch. You look like shit.”
“Thanks.” I chuckle as I change my suit jacket.
“I made reservations at Chino’s, just for you.”
“Fancy. Are you going to put out after?”
“Wouldn’t you like to know.”
I laugh and head out with him, getting into his car, which he’s parked with the valet.
He crosses his hands in front of him on the table as we sit across from each other and the server leaves us water and bread. “You’ve got a lot on your mind lately.”
“You could say that again.”
“Anything I can help with?”
“Not really. What’s been going on with you?”
“I think something is going on with my family.”
I look up at him. “What makes you say that?”
“Well, after years of no contact, Dad told me Mother emailed him to ask us all to the house for dinner. She says it’s up to us if she can stay or not, but she mentioned she would appreciate it if she could stay since this is about Meredith.”
Blood drains from my face.
Is this it? The end? She’s going to tell them?
I guess there’s no way out of it. She’s right; she’s not getting any less pregnant, and soon enough, she’ll be showing.
“Maybe she found out about Meredith’s new job?”
He sighs. “I just don’t want to see Mother again. After all she has done to me and Lillian, I want her as far away from us as possible. But I’ll do it, for Meredith. If she wants her there. Dad’s already decided he’ll go, too, regardless of Mother being there or not. He’ll do it for Mere.”
I swallow hard.
“Would you come, too?”
I want to crawl under the ground and die.
“Please, Logan? For moral support?”
He has no idea what he’s asking of me. But this is my best friend, and he needs me.
“I’ll be there.” My voice sounds weak even to my own ears, but Grayson smiles.
“Thank you. This is why you’ve always been my best friend.”
Guilt burns hot at the back of my head.
His best friend, who has been sniffing around his baby sister since she was eighteen. I’m disgusting, and now I’ve gotten her knocked up and everything I did, everything I gave up, all of it, means nothing.
I know now what I should have done. I should have told Grayson way back then. I should have told him then that I loved his sister. Still love her.
Now, everything just seems up in the air, and I’m not sure how to make things right again.
I’m not sure if I can.
“I’m just hoping everything is okay with her.” Grayson’s words break through my thoughts.
“I'm sure everything's fine.” The lie is like poison in my mouth.
“You weren’t around when she had her breakdown, were you?”
I shake my head, my heart dropping. I don’t know if I want to hear this story.
But Grayson takes a deep breath, and I know I’m going to hear it anyway.
“Mother asked me to come home from overseas because Meredith was so upset. She couldn’t tell me what was wrong, but she wouldn’t get out of bed or shower for days.” He sighs. “I finally pulled her out of it by just rotting with her, watching television, and trying to get her to talk.”
“And did she?” My mouth feels so dry my lips are sticking together, so I take a sip of water.
It doesn’t seem to help the rock in my throat.
He shakes his head. “No. She never said a word. Even the doctors were perplexed, called it ‘situational depression,’ but she never told us what the situation was.”
“It was nice of you to respect her boundaries.”
Grayson snorts. “That sounds like therapy speak. I wanted to shake her to get her to tell me what was wrong, but she was just so fragile. Wouldn’t stop crying. Wouldn’t eat for a week.”
My heart aches.
I can’t believe I did that to her. I can’t believe she took it so hard, and I had no idea. It’s not like I’d fared any better. I fell into a dark place for about a month, drinking every day until I had the shakes without it.
I went cold turkey after Bryce found me nearly choking on my own vomit in my little downtown office. He was with me through the hard times.
He poured all my liquor down the drain as I watched, the room spinning and fresh nausea rolling in my stomach.
“I don't know what’s wrong with you, boss, but you've got to get over it."
“How?"
Bryce doesn’t have an answer for me. No one does.
But eventually, I moved on in every way but romantic. I tried again and again to have a one-night stand, but I couldn’t ever stop comparing Meredith to every woman. And they always came up wanting.
No one can hold a candle to her.
“We’ve all had our hard times.”
“After Lillian left...” Grayson whistles. “I was a mess.”
“I remember.”
We’d still been in touch then, and Grayson had just wanted to watch the world burn at the time. I’d related pretty hard, even gone out with him a few times.
But somehow, neither of us had ended up with a woman on our arm.
I guess work replaced romance, for me, but now work and romance are all wrapped up together.
And since Meredith has banned me from touching her until I can be honest with her–which is never–I guess I’m celibate again.
“We got in a fight the other night, and I brought it up,” Grayson admitted in a mutter, sipping a glass of wine that the server had upsold us.
I wince. “Didn’t go well?”
“That’s an understatement. She threw me out of the bedroom. I had to sleep in the couch for a while.” He chuckles. “Not the best nights of my life.”
“But you made up, right?”
If Grayson and Lillian don’t make it, I don’t have a chance in hell with Meredith.
He grins. “Making up is the best part, isn’t it?”
I chuckle. “Yeah, something like that.”
“What about your girl?”
I freeze. “What girl?”
“The one you told me about the other night.” Grayson’s voice sounds teasing but also curious.
“Things are complicated.” Because she is pregnant with my baby, but she’s not mine. Even though every cell in my body wants to claim her.
“What are you going to do about it? I know you love her, you said so yourself. Why don’t you fight for her? Tell her how you feel.”
“Like I said, things are complicated right now. Maybe I’ll tell you about it at the family dinner.”
Grayson tilts his head. “Oh? Gonna steal Meredith’s thunder?”
“Something like that.” I hate myself, and if Grayson rips my head off, I deserve it.
“Good. She’s kind of a drama queen anyway.”
I smile, biting my lip to keep from defending her. “I’m going to do the rounds downtown, look for struggling garages.”
Grayson nods, digging into his surf and turf. “Eat first. I can tell you haven’t lately. I know the look.”
It has been a day, so I dig into my pasta, and I do feel a lot better after my belly is full. I’ve only had a glass of wine to Grayson’s three, and I nudge him.
“You better call a car."
“I'm calling my wife. Kids are at daycare.” He grins, his eyes glassy.
I chuckle. “Maybe this won’t piss her off all over again.”
I say my goodbyes and head back to the hotel, staring at Meredith’s contact on my phone for what seems like an hour before texting her.
How are you feeling?
She doesn’t respond for half an hour, and then it’s just, fine.
I huff out a breath and call her.
She doesn’t answer, so I call her back instantly.
She finally picks up. “You can’t call me like that.”
“I need to be able to get in touch with you.”
“Well, I can’t exactly answer when I’m eating with my mother, can I?”
“Grayson just told me your mother asked your father to get everyone to the mansion. Said it’s about you.”
She lets out a long breath. “Yes. I told her.”
“About me?”
“No, not about you, of course. Just about the baby. She’s taking it... surprisingly well.”
“We’ll see about that.” I know things will be different when she knows I’m the dad and not some rich colleague of Meredith’s.
Some things never change.
“It’s the reality of things, Logan. You should come. Talk to Grayson before the announcement.”
“I’m already ahead of you. He invited me.” I pause, wincing. “For moral support.”
“Yikes.”
“Yikes, indeed.” I sigh. “I’m sorry this got all messed up, Meredith. I didn’t plan?—”
“To get me pregnant? Yeah, I know.”
Her dismissive tone pisses me off, but what can I say? I can’t make promises to her. I know that her family will never accept me as her husband or the father of this baby.
They’ll probably run me out of town on a rail, if I’m lucky. If Grayson doesn’t kill me first.
Still, I need to apologize to her. “Meredith, about earlier?—”
“I meant what I said. You don’t get to touch me again until you tell me the truth.”
I squeeze my eyes shut. “All right.”
“All right? What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Meredith, I don’t want to fight.”
“Then maybe you shouldn’t have called.”
“I want to apologize!”
“Weird. I haven’t heard ‘I’m sorry.’”
“I’m sorry!”
“It’s not enough. You have to tell me the truth.”
I grit my teeth, and she hangs up the phone.
I groan and throw it across the room. Luckily, it hits the carpet and bounces, not doing any damage.
No matter what happens at this dinner party, I can never tell Meredith the real truth.