Chapter 74
Chapter seventy-four
By the time Rosa had finished brushing her teeth and changed into her nightwear, Imogen was in bed, snoring gently.
She smiled at the sight. Ever since the day they’d brought her home from the hospital, Rosa had loved watching her sleep.
For a moment, she sat on the edge of the bed, making sure Imogen was sound asleep, then she got up and tiptoed out of the room and down the hall.
She didn’t knock, holding her breath as she eased the door open.
“Rosa.” Billy smiled and sat up, the small bedside lamp throwing warm light across her face. She tossed the covers back and moved over to make room.
“I can’t stay. She’s sleeping, but—”
“Just for a minute?” Billy patted the space beside her. “You both being here is… I’m grateful.”
Rosa smiled before finally relenting and squeezing into the space beside Billy.
“When you called, all I wanted to do was get on a plane and come to you,” Rosa admitted. “These past few weeks have…made it hard to pretend I don’t want this.”
Billy reached out and stroked Rosa’s cheek gently. “I think it’s time to tell her, don’t you?”
“Yes, but…” Rosa pressed a finger to Billy’s lips, and her own pulse steadied. “This isn’t the time. Right now, here, with Schultz in the hospital…it’s not about us.”
“No, I agree. I just…” Billy swallowed, her voice cracking, “I need you. He looks so frail in that bed.”
She collapsed, falling against Rosa, who didn’t think twice about pulling her close and holding her as her body shook and the tears flowed.
“It’s okay. Let it out. You don’t always have to be the strong one,” Rosa whispered into her hair.
“It feels like I do,” Billy answered, her face buried against Rosa’s chest. “I’ve always felt so responsible for everyone around me.”
“So, this time how about we make it a shared responsibility?”
“I’d like that.” Billy looked up and stroked Rosa’s cheek. “I know where things went wrong. I wasn’t telling you what I needed in a way we could actually deal with.” She smiled sadly. “And I understand why that made you resentful and frustrated with me.”
“You’re not that person now,” Rosa said softly. “I can see that, and I think maybe there are some things I need to work through for myself when we get home.”
Billy frowned. “What do you mean?”
Rosa pressed her palm to Billy’s chest and let the warmth steady her.
“I want to make sure that I come into this as the best version of me, too.” She stared into Billy’s eyes, all aware and hopeful.
“It wasn’t all on you that we split, I could have handled your illness better had I been more self-aware.
Roger mentioned my parents earlier, and it got me thinking about my relationship with them and how…
as a family, we seem to just walk away.”
Billy nodded but remained silent.
“I suppose that’s what I learnt as a child and then into being an adult—that when something isn’t working, and you already think you’ve done enough to try and fix it—you just walk away.
” She pressed her lips together and held off the emotions that clawed at her throat.
“It’s only now that I realise we…I…could have done more.
I gave up too quickly, and then I was so busy with being this warrior single mother that I didn’t give myself a moment to consider you, or us, again. ”
“That’s a big realisation, Rosa.”
Rosa exhaled a shaky breath. “Maybe one I should have come to sooner.”
“Shoulda, woulda, coulda, never solved anything.” Billy grinned. “We did what we could in the moment. There’s no shame in that.”
“Still, there is guilt that I carry, and I think it would be a good place to start with a therapist when we get back.”
“I’ll support whatever you need to do.”
Rosa pressed closer and kissed Billy softly—nothing more than a promise. “I love you—always have. There’s never been anyone but Billy Fisk in here.” She laced their fingers and held Billy’s hand over her heart.
“Ditto.”