27. Lincoln
TWENTY-SEVEN
LINCOLN
I winced at the sound of the floorboards creaking.
The last thing I needed was for my mother to stir awake and see me helping Cali sneak out first thing in the morning.
It wouldn’t have been unusual for me to get up before the sun.
Whitmore normally had me on the treadmill with a weighted vest by six forty-five am, so I knew that alone wouldn’t raise suspicion.
But my mother was a scarily light sleeper.
And once she was awake, she was out of bed and in the kitchen, fueling with a cup of coffee.
Cali descended the stairs behind me, her much smaller hand resting in mine.
The thought of the night before had my stomach knotting in an unfamiliar way.
I could still feel her searing touch on my shoulders, her fingers tangling in my hair, her mouth on my skin.
Everything else paled in comparison. That night would forever be etched into my memory.
I would savor all of it, including the impromptu sleepover.
I don’t think I’d slept better than when I had Cali curled up in my arms, her head on my chest. Even when she nudged me awake that morning, I thought I was dreaming.
Everything about Cali was a dream .
When we reached the door, Cali slid on her shoes, soon followed by her jacket.
A curse filtered through my head. While Cali had brought her bag up, we had forgotten about her things by the front door.
I swallowed the worry. The last thing I wanted was for Cali to stress over the knowledge that my mother probably knew she had stayed over last night.
I was hoping that she was too tired to notice when she came home, but my mother was perceptive, and I knew the chance of that happening was slim to none.
“Are you sure you can’t stay?” I whispered when Cali reached to take her bag from my hand.
She slung the strap over her shoulder. “If I’m not home and pretending to sleep by the time Ella wakes up, she’s going to bombard me with a million and one questions.”
I sent her a lazy smile. “I guess that’s a good enough reason. By the way, last night was my way of?—”
“Staking your claim?” she teased.
“In less barbaric terms, yes.” I couldn’t help but grin at her.
She returned my smile, the apples of her cheeks growing with the movement. “We’re exclusive. Gotcha.”
“Good.”
“I’ll see you later?” Cali whispered, peering up at me through her lashes. She didn’t know what she did to me when she looked at me like that. I was tempted to throw her over my shoulder and bring her back upstairs to the privacy of my bedroom.
“Yeah,” I said, leaning against the open door. “I’ll see you later.”
Another coy smile, and Cali pecked my lips before she bounded down the stairs and across the street to Ella’s red Hyundai. I stayed rooted to the mat, only moving to shut the door once she had gotten into the car .
The lock clicked as I heard movement from behind me.
“What are you doing?” I heard my mother ask from the top of the staircase.
I couldn’t bring myself to lie to her. I knew it would be pointless anyway.
I had to face her about my decision to keep Cali in my life.
I was just hoping I would have more time to do it.
I knew my mother and how stubborn she could be.
It wouldn’t take a rocket scientist to know that she would fight me on it.
Especially since I had told her I wouldn’t get any closer to Cali less than a few weeks ago.
Things had changed since then, namely my feelings towards the brunette assigned to tutor me.
“Don’t worry about it. You don’t start work until later today. Go get some more sleep,” I said, being sure to place the top lock on the door before escaping into the kitchen.
The original plan to walk Cali out and head back to bed was out the window.
My mother’s scrutinizing glare burned into the side of my head even after I darted out of her line of vision.
I was on cloud nine after last night, and I didn’t want her to bring me plummeting back down to reality. Not yet, anyway.
If I was being honest, Cali was the best thing that had happened to me in years—and not just because of the night we spent together.
The sound of my mother’s footsteps got closer. Despite what I was hoping, it looked like I was going to have to face her sooner than I would have liked. I drew in a deep breath through my nose, retrieving a glass from the cupboard. By the time I opened the fridge, she was already in the kitchen.
“You’re not thinking clearly, Lincoln. This girl is clouding your judgment,” my mother argued, arms pulled tight across her pajama-clad chest. Her hair was in a half-hazard bun on the top of her head, and her eyes were rimmed in a dark shadow. While I had slept like a baby, she hadn’t slept at all.
“Don’t do this, Mom, not right now,” I pleaded, shutting the fridge. The only light came from the streetlamps outside the kitchen window. Leaning against the counter, I brought the glass to my lips, taking a long drink. I hoped that would be enough to get my point across.
But she wasn’t taking no for an answer.
My mother’s face was pinched in frustration. “Why? Because I’m ruining this… this fantasy that you have created for yourself?” Her arm lashed out, gesturing to nothing in particular. “There’s no room in your life for someone like Calista. You need to do right by her and not get attached?—”
The glass met the counter with a bang. “I’m already attached.
Don’t you get that? I’m already fucking attached.
I don’t want to picture my life without her now that she’s in it.
She’s there for me and Sadie. She has me trying to be a better person and turn my shit around.
She makes my life just a little less shitty.
And yeah, maybe I shouldn’t have allowed her to get so close.
Maybe I shouldn’t have allowed myself to get so attached to her, but I did. So, can we just drop it?”
My mother was still, her mouth clamped shut as she regarded me with hard eyes. “She’s not going to want to be a part of your life once she finds out,” she warned.
The muscles in my jaw ticked. She didn’t know that; she was saying it to hurt me. To make me consider how shitty of a situation I was in. Cali wouldn’t drop me like that when she found everything out. Right?
“And whose fucking fault is that?”
“It’s your father’s fault,” she argued.
I ran a frustrated hand through my hair, turning around so I didn’t have to look at her anymore. “You know damn well this whole situation could have been over with a long time ago.”
“It would have if you didn’t agree?—”
I spun around again, stepping closer to her with a pointed finger.
“Don’t you fucking dare,” I began in a deadly calm tone.
“I’m doing it for you and for Sadie. Do you think I really want to be doing this fucking shit?
Fighting in an underground arena? Throwing my life away for your mistakes?
My entire existence revolves around bandaging you and your husband’s fucked up relationship! ”
Heavy bursts of air funneled through my nose by the time I finished. So much for staying on cloud nine.
“Lincoln?” Sadie’s tiny voice called from the stairs. “Why are you and Mommy fighting?”
Hearing my little sister upset sent splinters through my heart.
While my mother and I didn’t always see eye to eye, our arguments didn’t get loud.
I made sure of it, for Sadie’s sake. Hearing my parents fighting as a kid was a memory that scarred me.
The breaking of plates, the sound of skin hitting skin, the screaming, the crying—it was something you didn’t forget.
My mother retreated a step out of the kitchen, preparing to go and comfort her daughter. “Maybe you’re not so different from your father after all.”