11. Emily
11
EMILY
“What are you doing?”
Rock’s question booms against my back as I arrange the blanket on the couch. We just got back from the bar a few minutes ago and all I want to do is sleep.
My answer to him is simple. Emotionless. “Getting ready for bed.”
“I’m not letting you sleep out here. We already went over this.”
I grab my pajamas and walk away from him. Rock follows me into the bathroom. He stands in the doorway, so I can’t close the door.
“Excuse me,” I say.
He sighs and steps back. I shut the door. But I know he’s still standing on the other side.
I’ve barely been able to look at him since our confrontation in the stock room earlier tonight. It was embarrassing enough to have kissed him, but to have him tell me that he never wants it to happen again— as if I was ever considering it! —was too much. The worst part was that when he said it, he had this look of disgust on his face, revealing exactly how much he was repulsed by my brief lapse in judgment.
Paige was right after all. My best friend is an asshole.
And the first thing I’m going to do in the morning is find somewhere else to stay.
I squeeze out some toothpaste onto my toothbrush and angrily brush my teeth. After rinsing out my mouth, I change into my pajamas, then sit down on the toilet.
“Are you going to stand there and listen to me pee?” I yell through the door.
I hear Rock grumble something, then say, “We’re talking when you get out.”
I roll my eyes. I’m sure he’s had all night to think of ways to try to smooth this issue over, but I don’t want to hear it. With enough time, my anger will go away and we’ll be fine again, but that’s the only thing that’s going to work. Time. And space.
I really need somewhere else to stay.
I wash my hands and open the bathroom door. Rock is pacing around his living room, treading back and forth in front of the couch like he’s a wild animal guarding his territory. He stops pacing when he sees me and takes a step toward me.
“I just want to go to sleep, Rock.”
He shakes his head. “No. We’re talking about this. I don’t care how late it is.”
“Look, I get it. You’re worried it meant something when I kissed you. But it didn’t. It was a stupid spur-of-the-moment decision, nothing more, nothing less. We don’t need to talk about it. You don’t need to worry about me trying to do it again. Okay?”
“Do you actually mean that?”
“Of course I mean it! Why wouldn’t I mean it?”
“Because it’s important, Em. I need to know.”
I’m so incredibly annoyed right now. Why isn’t he letting this go? Frustrated tears rise into my eyes. “It didn’t mean anything! Jesus, Rock. Why are you doing this?”
I try to take a calming breath but it comes out shaky. Emotion swirls inside me. Before I can reel myself in, tears are spilling down my cheeks. Fuck . I turn away, hating how emotional I am right now.
“Hey,” Rock says, his voice suddenly gentler. “Hey. Shit. I’m sorry.”
His arms wrap around me. I try to pull out of his grasp, but he holds me tighter—and the truth is, I need to be comforted right now. As much as I don’t want him hugging me, his embrace is familiar and safe. I might be pissed at him, but he’s also my best friend.
“I’m sorry,” I blubber, wiping away my tears. I keep my head down, too ashamed to look up at him. “I’m just overwhelmed right now. All the stuff with my mom, and the new bar opening up, and now things are weird with you…”
His arms around me remain steady. “We’re okay, Em. And you don’t need to apologize.”
I appreciate the empathy, but it doesn’t magically make everything better. “No, we’re not okay. I did something stupid and it freaked you out.”
“It didn’t freak me out.”
I scoff and wipe my eyes again. “It did, too.”
“It didn’t.” He draws in a slow breath. “I liked it.”
My whole body freezes. I must have misheard him just now. How could he like it? If he liked it, why would he tell me he didn’t want it to happen again?
Maybe he’s just trying to make me feel better. He knows he’s been an asshole and he’s trying to make up for it now.
I pull out of his grasp and step away from him. I dry the last of my tears. “You don’t have to say that.”
Rock is silent. I look up at him. He looks confused.
“What?” I say, confused now too.
He works his jaw, prods his molars with his tongue. I know that face. He has something to say but he’s struggling to say it.
“Whatever it is, just spit it out, Rock.”
Is he going to say we can’t be friends anymore? Is that it? Shit . If I lose him as a friend, I’ll never forgive myself.
I look at Rock, impatient for him to say it and get it over with. I can’t take this waiting anymore.
He steps toward me. I look at him, still confused. He reaches out and cups the side of my face. The breadth of his palm is warm against my skin.
My heart hiccups.
“I liked it, Em,” he says again.
This time, I hear the earnestness in his voice. I draw in a small, surprised breath just before his lips land on mine.
A million thoughts whirl through my head. I can’t make sense of his kiss. How can this be happening? How is it possible that Rock wants this—wants me ? We’ve been friends for so many years, so much of our lives. Nothing has ever happened between us. Never, once, did I ever get anything other than platonic warmth from him.
And yet his lips are on mine right now. Warm and strong and delicious, in the most confusing way.
Bewildered, I pull back. “What are you doing?” I ask breathlessly.
“Showing you how I really feel,” he says. There’s a gravelliness to his voice that ripples something deep within me. “Now I’m going to ask you again. Did you actually mean it when you said kissing me was a mistake?”
My body shivers with desire for him. I can’t kid myself any longer. I’ve been clinging to denial, holding onto it for dear life, but it’s impossible to maintain my grasp.
“I thought it was a mistake,” I admit. “But…I liked it, too.”
Something changes in Rock’s eyes. “And you want more?”
I can feel the weight of the question, the importance of this moment. If I say yes, there’s no going back.
Although haven’t we already crossed a line that can’t be uncrossed? No, this will be different, though. This will change things in far more drastic ways.
I’m scared about that change. It freaks me the hell out. But there’s only one way to answer Rock’s question.
“Yes,” I say, the word coming out soft but confidently from my lips.
So many questions swirl through my head as Rock’s lips capture mine again. How long has he felt like this about me? Why didn’t he ever say anything? But these questions dissolve into the gloriousness of his kiss. His kisses are all-consuming. They wake up my whole body. They make me feel wide awake, buzzy, hot all over.
It’s in my chest. It’s between my legs. It’s wrapping around my heart.
His tongue enters my mouth and I feel tingly all over. I slide my hands up his chest and around his muscled neck to the back of his head and dig my fingers through his thick hair. The chiseled planes of his shoulders and neck are hard against my arms. As our kiss deepens, Rock’s large hands land on my sides and he pushes me up against the nearest wall.
Our bodies are pressed together now. I’m shocked at how perfectly we fit together. The air around us feels charged with electricity, popping and sparking. If I opened my eyes, I’m pretty sure I’d see little cartoon hearts everywhere in the air. It feels that magical. That good.
Rock’s hands run over my hips, squeezing and caressing my curves in ways that feel simultaneously strange and good. My heart is pounding away. I swear I can hear his heart pounding, too. Rock’s hands graze over the waistband on my pajamas, then tug them down with my panties in one go. Then he undoes his jeans, letting them fall to the ground.
Rock reaches down to grab my thigh. He props it up, then uses his other hand to grab his cock and guide it between my legs. I pull my lips from his and gasp as I feel the fat head of his cock press against my entrance, throbbing and sticky with pre-cum.
It feels so forbidden. He’s my best friend. Has been for years and years and years.
But I want him inside me. I want him deep inside. The need is carnal and unbearable.
I draw in a sharp breath as he pushes into me. He’s as hard as steel and thicker than I expect. Jesus Christ, it’s intense. I cry out a little as he slides deeper into me, stretching my pussy around his cock. My whole body shivers with sparkly pleasure.
“You okay?” he rasps.
I can’t form any words yet. I nod and relax my hips, spreading my legs as wide as I can for him. He pushes deeper into me and I tighten my grasp in his hair, my vision going a little fuzzy.
“Oh my god, Rock,” I moan.
“Don’t moan like that,” he says.
I peer at him quizzically. “What?”
His jaw flexes. “You’re gonna make me come too quick.”
I laugh, almost deliriously. “That’s your kryptonite? Wow. I feel so powerful.”
He glares at me, his eyes saying, Will you please shut up and let me fuck you? I should bristle at that, but somehow it just turns me on more. I tilt my mouth up and he kisses me, our tongues entwining as he drives his cock into me over and over again, deeper and deeper with every thrust. The sound of our sex and our breathing fills the room, our bodies radiating red-hot heat. I can feel an orgasm swelling inside me, rising steadily, promising an explosion of bliss.
“Come inside me, Rock,” I murmur between kisses.
He knows I’m on the pill and it’s safe. But I think something about me saying it to him, almost begging him for it, does something to him. He groans and starts fucking me harder, taking me to a place that I’ve never been to before and that I’m pretty sure he never has, either. It’s pure sensation, pure feeling. Pleasure swallows me up, washing over my entire body and then bursting bright and shimmery from my core. I let out a sob and cling to him, feeling his whole body tense and a vibration rumble through his chest as he comes too. His cock throbs relentlessly inside me, spilling warm cum into me.
When I open my eyes, I find him looking at me, breathing hard, and I know we’ll never be the same again.