Chapter 29
Dallas closed the door of the one-bedroom suite Cole had rented him right next door to his room. He headed into the living area, where Cole waited with an assortment of food and drinks, and sat on the sofa.
“How’s she doing?” Cole asked, as he bit into a burger.
Dallas hadn’t touched his meal. Maybe now that Gemma was resting, he could try to eat. “Sleeping. The burns are okay—probably first degree. Would have been a lot worse if you hadn’t grabbed the blanket when you did.” He’d bandaged Gemma’s feet after she’d had a thorough shower. She told him the water’s beating on her burns had been excruciating but she’d been determined to scour the scent of gas from her skin.
He didn’t have the heart to tell her it still clung to her body when he put her to bed.
Cole nodded slowly, his expression somber. “Well, you’re lucky you didn’t catch your stupid ass on fire rolling around in gasoline with her.”
“I needed to get her away before she caught fire, man. Fuck.”
Cole opened a beer and passed it to him. Dallas rarely drank, but right now he needed to take the edge off and do something to bring down his cortisol levels.
His brother clapped him on the back. “Look. She’s all right. You need to stop beating yourself up.”
Leave it to Cole to sense his innermost emotions that he couldn’t put into words. He lifted the bottle to his lips and sucked back a mouthful of the bitter brew. Guilt. Yup. That’s exactly what was eating him from the inside out.
“You didn’t know she was working with the CIA?” Cole asked.
“I did. I knew all about her informant position and what the role was. She was supposed to be done with them. Planned to cut all ties, but when people kept trying to kill us, she... I dunno. I guess she thought she was protecting me. She made a deal with them to get us passports out of here, but I couldn’t take that risk. Don’t trust those bastards.”
“I was on my way.” He hooked his lip, a “duh” hovering in the air.
“Well, you didn’t tell me. Dare didn’t even know where you were. Anyway, it doesn’t matter. I’m glad you came when you did.”
“Then you and Gemma parted ways?”
“They were supposed to take her to a new posting. But that never happened.”
Cole chugged his beer then stuffed a handful of fries into his mouth. “So how’s this shit going to work between you?”
Dallas lifted the top of his burger and added some mayo. The scent of the greasy meat reached his nostrils, but instead of making him hungry, it did the opposite. His stomach revolted. But he needed something in his gut besides booze.
He hadn’t let his mind venture in that direction. Life with Gemma had always been day by day—year by year, actually. But in the months between her visits he’d always been on edge, never knowing when she’d show up at his door and praying it’d be sooner than the last time.
He couldn’t even begin to plan out what their lives would look like. “Hell if I know.” He slapped the bun back on his sandwich and ate as much as he could.
When they were finished eating, he helped Cole clean up, and when his brother went back to his own room, Dallas got in the shower. The pungent odor of gas clung to the walls of the bathroom. Even if they got rid of the smell, he’d never get rid of the memory.
He quickly washed then snuck into the bedroom and slid beneath the covers. Careful not to wake her, he shimmied close to Gemma’s back and waited for sleep to claim him.
It didn’t.
***
The mattress dippedand Gemma flitted open her eyes. Dallas’s warm, firm body pressed to her back. Despite the ibuprofen she’d taken, her burned skin still throbbed.
She turned in Dallas’s arms, and he pulled her closer to his chest. “Sorry I woke you.”
“I’m glad you did.” Her dreams had been plagued by images of flames surrounding her, closing in, sucking away her oxygen and encasing her body. But she didn’t tell him that. The crease of worry hadn’t left his face, as if his memories pained him as much as hers did.
His mouth went to her forehead and she rested her hand on his pec, savoring the solid muscle. His bare legs brushed against hers as he moved even closer. She didn’t need to peek under the covers to know he wore only his briefs.
“I’m so fucking sorry.” His voice broke.
Gemma’s heart ached. She brought her hand to his cheek. “None of this is your fault. I would’ve worked this job whether I bumped into you or not. As a matter of fact, I would have died days ago if it weren’t for you.”
He let out a rattly breath. “I can’t shake the feeling that I almost lost you tonight. There’s so much—”
“But you didn’t. I’m here.”
“You didn’t let me finish,” he chastised gently.
She scraped her knuckles over the scruff on his jaw that was days longer than it normally was. “Okay,” she said slowly.
“There’s so much I regret, Gemma. I should have made things clear to you a long time ago.”
Her pulse stalled. “What do you mean?”
His fingers twined in her hair. “Do you think most men would put up with a woman waltzing in and out of their lives whenever she wanted?”
Confusion muddled her train of thought. “I don’t understand.”
“Most dudes I know would feel a little emasculated by a woman controlling the booty call.”
“Are you going somewhere with this?” Amusement lined her words, but he was spinning her in circles.
He sighed and rolled onto his back, drawing her on top of him. “Trying to. I guess I suck at this shit.”
She lifted her thumb and forefinger and created an inch of space between them. “A little.”
He chortled. “All right. Christ. I love you, Gemma.”
Her heart restarted like a solar flare. She lifted her chin from his shoulder and stared into his eyes. Only a sliver of light shined through the window from the gap in the curtains, but it was enough for her to read the hesitancy in his face and the angst in his hazel orbs. His tongue nervously swept over his bottom lip.
“I was too scared to admit it to myself all these years, let alone to you,” he continued. “Being with you these last few days... I don’t know. I can’t go back to how things were.”
She threw her arms around his neck and pressed kisses to his jaw. Tears misted her eyes, stinging them. “I love you too, Dallas. And I don’t know how, but we’ll make this work. I promise.”
He tightened his arms around her, holding her to his chest as if he’d never let go. Warmth surrounded her, penetrating the soreness in her muscles and making her heart swell.
She and Dallas were so different. It’s what had kept them at arm’s length from each other all these years, but now, she couldn’t imagine taking another breath without him by her side.
And she wouldn’t.