Text Messages
Ramona Wilder: quality, not quantity
Nick Navarro:…
Why were you stalking my book, anyway?
Ramona Wilder: I have this thing
I’m sort of obsessed with reading product reviews
Nick Navarro: Aren’t most of us, when we’re buying something and want to know if it’s decent or not?
Ramona Wilder: no, not of things I’m buying
like I read them for fun
there are some real gems out there. pulitzer prize-winning pieces of writing, tearjerking narratives, heartwarming tales of pure humanity!
Nick Navarro: I don’t think there’s enough room in the syllabus this quarter to dissect the intricacies of your psyche.
Ramona Wilder: it’s A+ entertainment! look at this review of a banana slicer
Nick Navarro: A banana slicer? You mean, a knife?
Ramona Wilder: no, it’s one of those pointless unitaskers
“This product saved my marriage! My wife no longer yells at me for cutting bananas in uneven sections or unusual shapes. Before the Slice-o-Matic 3000, my bananas were pure chaos. Now every piece is completely uniform. Thanks, Slice-o-Matic!”
Nick Navarro: You’re making this up.
Ramona Wilder: I’m not!
link
Nick Navarro:…wow.
Ramona Wilder: or this one. a classic.
“My boyfriend is practically perfect except for one thing: a tattoo of his ex’s name on his bicep.
Every day, the name CHRISTINE taunts me from the moment I wake up until I descend into semi-blissful sleep.
I bought this DIY tattoo removal kit because we can’t afford laser tattoo removal, and it worked…
kind of. The only problem is, now his arm just says CHRIST. We’re Jewish. Two stars.”
Nick Navarro: This is why you haven’t been doing the reading?