5
The first stirrings of the birds overhead tore me awake. Heart pounding, I bolted upright, nearly stumbling over my discarded clothes and tangling myself with the low-hanging ceiling of the tent. Once awareness slammed into me, I froze, breath catching in my chest. I listened intently for any sign that I had disturbed those sleeping nearby with my antics. When the only sound that greeted me was another birdsong, I relaxed, shoulders slumping inward as I collapsed back on the cot. It was still dark outside, which meant I might be able to squeeze out a few more hours of sleep.
Tuning into my magic well, I checked to see how much had been restored overnight. The shadows were inky black once again, though their activity was less than it had been before I killed my husband. Using magic was the same as using any muscle—it required work to build it and time to rest it. The process of doing either eased with time, allowing for a deepening well and faster recovery.
I’d be using every drop, every day for the foreseeable future.
Honestly, I’d gotten lax with everything since I married Vagach and he showed his true colors: the control over my magic, the will to provide for myself, the want to do anything other than allow the hours to fly by as I waited for something to change. Despite the ache in my bones and lingering weariness from a day’s worth of riding, excitement danced through my veins, and a few bits and pieces of the vibrant female I’d been when I still lived with my family were returning.
No longer was I waiting for what would happen next; now, I was carving a way forward for myself. I couldn’t even bring myself to feel guilty about killing Vagach, not when hope bloomed in my heart.
I pulled the thin blanket back over my body and closed my eyes, letting my mind wander over all the possibilities that lay ahead. Would I have an opportunity to slip away? Would I be assigned my own unit to lead? I hoped that wasn’t the case. Would killing a stranger be easier or harder than killing my abusive husband?
“Vagach,”
a voice hissed, and I tore my eyes open, immediately blinded by pinpricks of light slipping through the canvas ceiling.
Shit.
“Are you awake?”
The voice filtered through again, and panic rendered me momentarily mute.
I cleared my throat, attempting to force words to come out. “Yes,”
I said, tucking my chin and dropping my voice in a desperate attempt to sound more masculine. I winced when it wasn’t nearly deep enough.
The person on the outside didn’t seem to notice. “Breakfast is going to be quick today. Better get up if you want some. We march in thirty.”
His footsteps retreated before I had to say anything else.
Fuck, that was close.
What if he had entered my tent and found me, well, me? There were no other females about, and my burgundy eyes would have gotten me noticed immediately. Not to mention, had it been someone from Stryi, they would have recognized me as Vagach’s wife and decidedly not their Kormánzó.
A sudden fear sent a chill straight to my core. What if instead of staying out of Vagach’s way, the villagers attempted to fall over themselves to appease him? I’d have to glare daggers in their direction and ensure that didn’t happen.
Not only that, but when we stopped for the night, I needed to figure out a solution to prevent anyone from entering the tent while I was unconscious.
All while pretending to be the male I abhorred. Everything was going to be fine.
Tapping into my magic, I began weaving Vagach’s form around me, all the while ticking the time off on my fingers. Twenty seconds passed before I was certain I’d gotten everything right. It wasn’t fast enough.
Another item to add to the list of shit that could get me caught—I was slow to make the form. Hopefully the weaving of it would go faster as I became more comfortable with it.
See? You only need time and practice for everything, Assyria.
Reassuring myself didn’t remove the dread that had settled in my gut.
I pulled on the previous day’s clothes, grimacing at the stench but gritting my teeth and accepting that no one else was going to smell any better. Washing myself and my clothes was going to be a challenge.
Oh look, I took one challenge off, only to add another.
“I’ll figure it all out,”
I muttered under my breath as I rolled up my sleeping gear and secured it with a leather strap. Once I exited the tent, I broke it down too, tucking all of my belongings under my arm and taking them to my horse and the supply wagons. The camp bustled with activity, soldiers both old and new shouting at one another, though the more seasoned ones were the most vocal contributors to the noise.
“Took you long enough,”
a voice said from behind me, and I nearly jumped out of my fake skin. With as much self-control as I could muster, I turned, finding Izgath standing there, arms crossed over his chest. Shadows swirled around his muscled biceps and forearms, and I had to firmly remind myself that I wasn’t female and tear my eyes away from them and back toward his face. Garnet eyes regarded me with something I couldn’t quite place.
“Uh, yes, thank you for waking me,”
I managed to get out.
He tossed his head, clearing a lock of hair that had fallen out of the leather strap that piled the rest on the top. “Come, Jaku wants to speak with you before we set out,”
he replied smoothly, spinning on his heel and somehow managing to avoid colliding with a horde of villagers marching to the edge of the camp.
What does the Százados want with me now?
My stomach rumbled as we cut through the throng, and before I could even blink, a plate of food was in my hands. “Eat up, you’ll need your strength,”
Izgath said.
Jaku’s tent was still erect when we reached it, though the flaps were tied back and people dipped in and out of it. By far the largest in the squad, it held five fully grown Demon males standing, along with a small cot, table, and wooden chest.
“Ah, Vagach, just the male I needed to see,”
Jaku said by way of greeting.
I offered him a salute. “What can I do for you, Százados?”
Spread on the table in front of him was a map, and he smoothed a hand over it until he found a place. “We need to meet with the rest of the battalion here,”
he pointed to a spot on the road near the mountains about halfway between our current location and a bright red star that marked the capital of the Demon Realm. “Is there any way we can cross this river instead of going around it?”
One of the many offshoots of the Graz River forced travelers to venture around it rather than over it due to its width. There were spots that weren’t so deep, but given that most traveled with large wagons, much like our current group, crossing it on foot wasn’t advisable. This wasn’t knowledge I had firsthand, but rather what I’d gathered over the years from traveling merchants who visited our farm to sell my father seeds, tools, and other necessities. But this was information Vagach would possess as a Kormánzó.
Sweat broke out on the back of my neck.
“It’s been years since I went to the spot, but there is a point that is crossable on foot. Though the wagons might struggle depending on the flow of the river. I would advise you to continue along the main road, the one you used when entering the region,”
I said, keeping my gaze attached to the map to hide my nervousness.
“But you could lead us to the location?”
Jaku clarified.
Fuck.
“I could, but it’s been so long, I’m not certain I could find it again,”
I protested, my voice sounding weak and nothing like Vagach. I held my breath hoping that he wouldn’t say–
“Great, it’s decided then. We’ll ride toward the Vago River and Vagach will help us find the point to cross. It will shave days off our riding time, and we have none to waste.”
Jaku rolled up the parchment while I stood there, mouth slightly agape. Then he flicked his attention between me and the plate Izgath had handed me. “Are you going to eat that?”
I looked down at the food in my hands. “Uh, right, yes, I am. Do you mind if I sit?”
He shot me a quizzical look, running his fingers along a carved piece of his breastplate. “A Kormánzó asking permission to sit at my table?”
My stomach knotted. Vagach wouldn’t have asked, he simply would have done it. An awkward pause followed while I desperately wracked my brain for words to smooth over the situation. “Aye, Százados, I am attempting to act in the spirit of our brotherhood and respect your position as my commander.”
Jaku snorted and shook his head. “You don’t have long, but use the table while it’s still here.”
I smothered the full-body tremble that wanted to escape as Jaku departed with Uzadaan. They were going to discover my identity at any moment with how I kept fucking up.
I have to do better.
Despite my anxiety, I wasted no time tucking into the food as two other males entered the space and hefted the trunk between them. By the time they returned for the cot and the table, I’d eaten every crumb of bread, slice of cured meat, and scraps of cooked vegetables on the plate. All the while, Izgath had watched me, picking food from his teeth with what looked like a stalk of wheat.
“Is there anything else that needs to be done before we leave?”
I asked him as we narrowly avoided a falling tent pole.
“Nope, this is the usual camp morning. It will get easier as we start to work as a unit. At least for now, we’re able to move faster than we would as a whole squadron,”
he shrugged, and I glanced around, taking in the utter chaos of it all.
“Can you explain the army structure? I don’t want to look ignorant in front of Jaku again,”
I admitted. Vagach should know this, but if Izgath wanted to know why he didn’t I could find an excuse.
Izgath glanced at me, hesitating for a few paces before finally answering. “Well, currently, there are two Hadvezér, or generals if you want to call them that, who each control a different part of the army. They both report to the Halálhívó.”
“The Halálhívó?”
I clarified, my brows furrowing.
“Aye, the Kral’s cousin. Besides the Kral, he’s the most powerful Demon in existence. How have you not heard of him?”
Izgath questioned, cocking his head to the side.
Vagach certainly would have, and I kicked myself for letting my mouth run the show instead of my brain. “Oh, of course I know who he is. It is early,”
I said with a dismissive wave, trying to pass off my forgetfulness on the hour.
Izgath’s eyes narrowed a fraction. “Each Hadvezér has six Parancsok, and each Parancsok has six Százados, and each Százados has six Vezet?. In Jaku’s case, it’s me, Uzadaan, and Dromak. Gnim and Grex went to the other parts of your vidék to recruit. And he has you too, now, I suppose.”
“What happened to your sixth?”
I asked, pausing to let a group of males carrying tents under both arms pass by.
“He died.”
Izgath’s mouth flattened, and his steps hitched for a moment before smoothing out again.
“I am sorry. The war or the plague?”
I ventured, since either was likely given his position.
“Both. The plague swept through our battalion so quickly, and we were forced to retreat and leave thousands of infected behind to save ourselves,”
he responded. We’d reached the horses, and those with mounts had already started leading them toward the main road. Pairs of thick beasts stood stoically as harnesses were attached to them, securing them to the supply wagons. Izgath studied them for a moment, then barked an order at two males who had fastened the harness upside down.
Once they’d gotten it straight, he sighed. “He was my brother, and he was fond of horses. Always looked after them, especially after the battles.”
He ambled toward the riding ones, picking up the reins of his dark bay mount. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to share that much.”
Hearing the pain of his loss brushed against my slashed and bruised heart, causing an ache of my own to blossom there. Empathy reached in his direction before I could stop myself. “It sounds like you two were close.”
“We were.”
The words stretched between us, and I found myself studying Izgath as intently as he had been studying me. Like Dromak and Uzadaan, he left his arms bare, only his chest covered in molded leather. Where Dromak was thick, Izgath’s muscles were lean, and they rippled as he lifted a hand to his head and smoothed back his hair. The long parts were secured in a knot on the top of his head, while the sides were shaved close like Dromak’s.
Finally, Izgath lifted his gaze to meet mine. “You are easy to talk to, you know.”
My stomach turned over, and for a moment, I wondered if his magic could cut right through mine and if he knew that I wasn’t Kormánzó Vagach. I brushed him off. “It is my duty.”
“We should get moving before Jaku throws a fit,”
he muttered, slipping the reins over his mount’s head and hauling himself over his broad back. He didn’t wait for me to respond before spurring his horse forward. Scanning the area for Blaeze, I found him already saddled and waiting among a few dozen others. After giving his nose a nice long rub, I mounted him, pausing to survey the clearing.
All the tents were absent and packed into one of the supply wagons, leaving only trampled grass behind. A few singed spots told a story of where the fires had been. The sun dappled the muddy earth and the packs hoisted on hundreds of backs as they trekked toward the road that ran parallel to the Graz. I followed the trail of bodies out of the woods, watching Izgath’s straight posture intently. As if he sensed my attention on him, he glanced over his shoulder, offering me a sly smile before turning forward again.
I didn’t know what to make of the male. A tension lay between us, one I couldn’t quite put my finger on, and yet I couldn’t force myself to look away from him despite knowing it was in my best interest to do so. Relations between males wasn’t uncommon, as many ended up mated, but Vagach was far less attractive than half the villagers and even fewer of the original squad.
I would have to keep my eye on Izgath and uncover what had him equally as interested in me.
Jaku, Uzadaan, and Dromak waited alongside the road, and Jaku’s horse shifted beneath him as if he wanted to race to the front and lead the charge forward. Izgath and I joined them, watching the group pass by in silence. I glanced at the sky, noting the dark clouds hovering to the north, as if they were a harbinger of what was to come. Three black crows cawed, startling me from my examination, and with a flurry of wings, they raced from over my head and toward the bloated clouds.
“That’s a bad omen,”
I said to no one in particular.
Dromak snorted. “The Fates have fucked us over so far, what’s another wet thread in their tapestry?”
His blatant blasphemy took me by surprise. It wasn’t that I disagreed with his statement, but rather Vagach would be fuming if I had said something similar. With how I’d already failed this morning, I couldn’t risk letting it slide.
“Do you not fear for your soul?”
I asked the male, trying to don Vagach’s haughty demeanor.
“I’ve got millenia to make up for a few words against the Fates,”
he grinned, his cheeks crinkling with amusement. Then he turned his attention to Jaku. “We might need to use our shadows if the wagons get stuck in the mud.”
“Aye, we must make haste. Don’t allow the rain to slow us down,”
Jaku warned, loosening the reins and allowing his horse to jump forward. “Vagach, Izgath, manage the rear today. Don’t let the footsoldiers fall behind and ensure the wagons keep moving. Recruit whomever you need to make it happen.”
Izgath offered the Százados a closed fist salute, and I hurriedly mimicked him. Then, Jaku, Uzadaan, and Dromak spurred their horses forward, trotting along the line until they disappeared around a bend in the road ahead. The last of the recruits trundled out of the woods, alongside the final supply wagon, and then we were off, continuing our trek north and headed straight into the oncoming storm.
The clouds broke an hour before we were set to make camp, thunder shaking the ground beneath our feet and lightning splitting the sky overhead. The torrential rain immediately slicked the road, and from the disrepair of the section we traversed, wheels sank into sloppy mud immediately.
“Add more shadow to the left side,”
Izgath called over the noise. I braced both hands against the smooth wet wood and added what little shadow I could spare beneath the wheel, trying to right the wagon. Beside me, a handful of soldiers offered their own, combining the black tendrils into a solid rope capable of managing the weight above it.
“Aye,”
I gritted out, sweat pouring down my torso and mixing with the rain that plastered my shirt to me.
“Forward!”
Izgath shouted to the two males standing at the horses’ heads. They tugged on their bridles, encouraging them to dig in and pull. Their hooves squelched and their breath fogged the air as they strained.
“More,”
I commanded those working with me, while Dromak yelled at the ones pushing from the rear. One of them slipped, landing on hands and knees in the mud. The shadows thickened, leveling the wagon out for a split second, and then it groaned forward and out of the hole.
Saved by the Weaver.
The black tendrils disappeared, and we rushed to the rear, slipping and pushing to give the horses enough extra momentum to carry the heavy wagon onward.
“A fucking sled would be better at this rate,”
Dromak grumbled when we stepped back and watched it trundle forward. Squinting, I found Uzadaan and Jaku some distance away, directing a different wagon toward the side of the road where the earth was smoother.
“No kidding,”
Izgath commented, wiping his hands on his leather pants and failing to remove any mud from them. None of us looked much better. My boots were soaked through, as were my linen clothes. They clung to every disgusting part of Vagach’s body, and I wanted nothing more than to get out of them.
“Will we stop soon?”
I asked, trying to keep the utter exhaustion from my voice. I desperately needed sleep, dry clothes, and my own body.
“At this rate, we’ll have to,”
Dromak said. “We can’t push through much longer, not when there’s not a break in the clouds as far as I can see.”
Other than the copses of trees dotting the side of the road, this area was relatively flat, and on a clear day, it would have been possible to see miles into the distance. But through the torrent of rain and the mist clinging to everything, it was nearly impossible to see the front of the squad.
Izgath moved to stand beside me as Dromak strode away, no doubt aiming for Jaku to suggest that we call it a day. My chest still heaved from the effort, and I checked my magic well as my heart rate slowed. Judging by the gray color of the shadows and their wispiness, I’d run out soon. My heart plummeted to my stomach.
“So what’s your power?”
Izgath asked, and I nearly fainted.
Can he read my mind?
I swallowed and kept my gaze straight ahead. “Why do you ask?”
I said as casually as I could, hoping he wouldn’t insist on seeing a demonstration of my ‘power.’ I’d never tried to mimic the magic of another while wearing their form, and I wondered if it was even possible. Vagach was a Corrupter, which meant that his secondary gift could be used to corrode metals, spread decay, or any number of other inherently harmful things. It was fairly useless for a farm community, where the opposite power would have made an enormous difference in people’s lives.
It would have made an enormous difference on the battlefield too.
“I’m an Incubus,”
Izgath offered, taking a step forward into the muck. I remained rooted into the earth.
Fates, can he tell I’m female beneath this exterior?
I’d never met an Incubus before, though Priestess Anara warned against the lustful, sinful thoughts that would enter our heads should we land in the crosshairs of one. They’d make their victims bend in unnatural ways while they took what they wanted from us, using us only for their pleasure. We were supposed to be submissive, yes, but only in a demure, delicate way that spoke of our purity and piety. Falling prey to one would only lead to us having F’s branded into our wrist and marked as a fallen female. Our only option then would be employment in a fallen house, forced to bear children for anyone and everyone who wanted to use our bodies, Priestess Anara had warned as a way to force compliance.
Of course, males seduced by ones remained unpunished, as males were the only ones allowed to seek pleasure. They could spread their seed endlessly and were thoroughly encouraged to do so. Coupling with another male did nothing to harm their virility.
“Are you coming?”
he asked over his shoulder, and I shook myself from my shock and strode forward, careful not to slip in the mud.
“An Incubus,”
I repeated, falling into step with him.
“That is what I said,”
he grinned. A shiver worked its way down my spine. “So what are you?”
“A Corrupter.”
The words slipped out before I could clamp my mouth shut, and I kicked myself internally for revealing it. My mind was still spinning over Izgath’s power and my currently failing one.
His dark brows shot up his forehead. “Impressive. They’ll have you on the front lines for sure.”
That was what I was afraid of. I couldn’t pull it off, which meant that I would need to exit the group as quickly and quietly as I could once we reached the capital, where it would be easier to blend in and slip away. At least by then, I’d have plenty of practice maintaining the form of another all hours of the day. I’d need it to hide my burgundy eyes from anyone who’d want to exploit my power.
We’d caught up to the group again, and when Izgath shrugged and opened his mouth to speak, Uzadaan jogged through the throng toward us. My eyes snagged on the teeth he’d filed down to an even sharper point. “We’re going to make camp in those trees.”
He pointed off the road to our left. The big, leafy canopies would certainly provide some shelter from the storm. As if it could hear my thoughts, lightning cracked overhead, and one of the horses tied to the side of a wagon whinnied and tried to bolt. He didn’t get far, not when his reins went taught and he was dragged back into place.
“Any instructions?”
Izgath asked, ever the dutiful Vezet?.
“Jaku wants people to share tents to dry off. Can’t have illness spreading through the new recruits because they’re wet and cold for too long,”
he relayed, and I cursed my luck again. It was as if the Reaper was fucking with me, trying to see how close to burnout I’d let myself go before releasing my magic and revealing my true identity.
Ahead, most of the squad had already turned off the road and were picking their way through the trees. After another large rumble of thunder, Uzadaan leaned forward and spoke to Izgath before hurrying off toward the front again. Izgath shouted instructions at those in the rear, and I followed his orders, even remembering to sneer at some of the villagers I recognized.
By the time the trees enveloped us in their protective embrace, the rain had slowed to a drizzle, leaving only a few drops to race through the canopies and strike anything beneath it. In this copse, so close to both the Graz and the mountains, large boulders waited, providing a semblance of dry shelter. Izgath and I worked together to circle the wagons out of the elements while still managing to use them as a shield from them. Fires sprang up in every direction, with fallen limbs and thick branches dug into the soft earth and braced against one another to form makeshift drying lines. In no time, the group had transformed from wet, weary travelers to cozy campers.
Halfway finished setting up my own tent, the first tendril of my magic slipped. I froze, somewhere between a crouch and a stand, feeling my feet shrink inside the wet boots. My eyes went wide as my pants loosened too.
Fuck, not now!
Panic speared through me, somehow both icy and fiery, and I wasted no time staking the pole into the ground and securing the canvas around it. I raced to the backside, nearly tripping over my own feet as I threw two more poles into the ground there and tied knots in the tent’s exterior to secure them. My gaze landed on my bags drying by the fire as the pants started to bunch up around my ankles.
I was out of time. With one last tug on the rope, I straightened the center of the tent and raced toward the crackling flames. If I lost the hold over my magic, I wasn’t certain that I could call it back to me, at least not until I’d had some sleep. At this rate, I wouldn’t get any dinner either. A meager amount of food waited in my bag, and if I grabbed it before my form fell away, I might be able to sleep with something on my stomach.
Nipples brushed against the soaked fabric of my tunic, and I glanced around, hoping no one was paying attention to me. Thankfully, everyone was occupied with their own tasks. I skidded to a stop as a fully nude male walked straight in front of me, not bothering to cover himself at all. Shock swept through me, but I was losing hold over my magic so rapidly I couldn’t spare a moment to process what I was seeing. I snatched my bag, throwing it over my shoulder, and strode toward the waiting sanctuary.
Each step, I shrank and lost more control over my form. The hair on my arms disappeared next, and I quickly adjusted the satchel to hide my thinning forearms. The tunic grew baggy around the waist rather than being stretched taught across the belly. The entrance was so close, and yet the last threads of my magic threatened to give way at any moment.
I quickened my pace, feeling the waist of my pants starting to slip. With one hand, I grasped them, digging my toes into the tops of my boots to keep them in place, and then hobbled like mad toward the entrance.
“Vagach!”
The name halted me in my tracks a mere breath from safety.
“Yes?”
I called out, refusing to turn around as my jaw softened. My hands trembled as I clutched my possessions to me, trying to hide as much as I could.
Please let me go.
“Want some stew?”
Izgath asked from behind me.
“Can you leave it there?”
I questioned, using my gaze to point to a dry spot of earth beside my tent. My voice cracked as I continued to return to myself.
“Sure,”
he offered. Out of the corner of my eye, I watched him crouch down and place a steaming bowl there. He looked up at me from that position, something sparking in his garnet eyes. “Officers don’t have to share tents. Have a nice sleep.”
“You too,”
I said, trying to keep the relief from my voice. Instead, horror slapped me as I realized how feminine it sounded. Ducking into the tent, I dropped my bag and secured the ties, lest Izgath get any ideas about following me in.
Not a moment later, the last tendril of shadow slipped through my fingers, and I was once again Assyria, standing in sopping wet clothes in the middle of a tent, in the middle of a fucking war camp, questioning what in all the worlds I was doing in the first place.