34
For three days, I’d endured the stares of every male in the army. Riding at the front with Rokath ensured their eyes burned into my backside at all hours of the day, while at night, I was secreted away either in the command center or in Rokath’s tent. Not like he slept there with me. No, he chose to sleep in the adjacent one with Rapp.
I was glad for the space from him, even if he had found Blaeze for me.
All the kindness between us had been because we had both orgasmed, nothing more.
Grem and Zeec lounged on the end of the bed while I sprawled in the middle of it, staring up at the ceiling after another day of riding. At least Rokath had found me some pants to wear beneath my dresses. After the first day, sore because of his huge fucking dick and my bare legs rubbing against the rough leather saddle, I could barely walk, and apparently my ankles showing beneath my hiked up skirts displeased him greatly.
Should have asked Kiira to buy me pants and tunics instead.
At least then, I might blend in a little more. The lack of veil didn’t help, though I wasn’t budging on that point. Rokath had conceded, and I would wave my victory to the world because it was the only battle I had won so far.
A soft woof slipped from Zeec’s muzzle, and his tail thumped against my calf. I picked my head up. Rapp entered the tent, carrying two bowls of food.
“Hungry?”
he asked me, ignoring the dogs who were focused on the slightest movement from him as if they would leap from the bed and snatch a meal from his hands.
My stomach rumbled a response for me. With a groan, I pushed myself to sitting and swung my legs over the side of the bed.
“Stay,”
I told them, and they glanced at me with the biggest, most pleading eyes they could muster as Rapp approached the dining table. I shook my head and met him there.
Rokath’s tent was massive, as Jaku’s had been when I traveled with the Lovak Squad, and fully furnished. Besides the bed and table, a basin and small mirror took up space. Rokath used it to shave his head every few days, and I was grateful to have a place to wash the grime from my skin at night, unlike when I’d traveled from Stryi.
At least Rokath was good for some things.
My mate had other business to attend to this evening, leaving me alone with Rapp to guard me. Not that I minded. I liked the Hadvezér tremendously better than I liked Rokath. I didn’t even like Rokath. My feelings toward him rested firmly in the arms of abhorrence.
“So guess what I heard?”
Rapp said, an almost childlike excitement in his tone.
“What?”
I laughed, picking up the spoon and blowing on the hot broth.
Rapp had taken to sharing the latest camp gossip to keep me entertained. I couldn’t tell if he pitied me or found the whole situation with Rokath hilarious, but I was lonely. Rapp also treated me like a normal person, almost like Izgath had after he’d uncovered my true identity. To him, I wasn’t lesser than because of my sex. I assumed he too benefited from the lack of rules, like Rokath, Xannirin, and Kiira.
“The Százados of the Madar Squad have been accused of stealing a trinket from the Százados of the Lovak Squad. A gold ring with a small garnet.”
Rapp wriggled his eyebrows, making the studs in them flash.
My stomach flipped. Jaku must have found my mother’s ring after the incident with Izgath. Tears pricked my eyes, and I set the spoon down without taking a sip of the soup. Rapp’s playful smile slipped into a concerned frown. “What’s wrong?”
A watery laugh slipped out of me, and I shook my head. “Nothing.”
“What’s wrong?”
Rokath shot into my mind like an arrow.
“Fuck off.”
Ever since we coupled, Rokath had been hypersensitive to my changes in mood, and I was already annoyed by it.
Huffing, I built a mental barrier between Rokath and me, and then said, “In my bag–Vagach’s bag–there was a coin purse with a ring that is just as you described.”
Fuck Rokath, he didn’t get to hear this. I swallowed down my sorrow. “It was my mother’s. It’s all I have left of her. With everything that happened that night, I forgot about it until the following day. When I realized I’d left it behind, I was crushed. Now I feel like an awful daughter.”
Rapp set down his spoon. “How did she die?”
he asked gently.
“The plague. Along with the rest of my family.”
A lone tear spilled over and dropped onto the table.
Sympathy played out across Rapp’s expression, but then his eyes brightened. “Want to get it back?”
I shot him a skeptical look. “Me? How? I will not ask Rokath to intervene on my behalf.”
I leaned back and crossed my arms over my chest.
Rapp laughed and shook his head. “No, we can get it back together. I have an idea.”
“Why do I get the feeling Rokath isn’t going to like it?”
I grinned, dropping my arms and leaning in conspiratorially. Checking the barrier, I ensured it was firmly in place.
“Because he won’t. But you’ll be with me, so you will be safe.”
Looking around and dropping his voice, he said, “Here’s what we will do. If you don’t mind using your magic, we’ll join their card game this evening and win it back.”
“But I don’t know how to play cards,”
I replied, deflating a little.
“Oh, but I do,”
Rapp chuckled, smoothing a hand over the slick hair on the crown of his head. “No one will play kazat with Xannirin because he always wins, but no one will play cards with me because I always win.”
I picked up my spoon and took a bite of the food. “So how will you play then?”
Rapp snorted and swished his spoon in his soup. “I am their Hadvezér. They cannot refuse me.”
A laugh bubbled up, and I let it free. “If you say so. Can you find me some clothes?”
“That’s the spirit. I’ll fetch you some standard issue leather armor. The rest of the appearance is up to you. But do stay close to me, yeah?”
Rapp at least trusted me more than Rokath, and he offered me a level of respect Rokath did not. “I will,”
I promised. And I would. Rokath had said I had to show him that I wouldn’t run away to earn his trust, and I planned on doing it just so I eventually could.
I was playing the long game.
“Hurry and eat, and then we can go.”
He glanced over my shoulder to the bedside table where a clock rested. “Their games usually begin in around twenty minutes, so if we want to join the first round, we need to get to the Madar Squad’s section soon.”
Wasting no more time, I slurped down the chunky broth, earning a few side eye looks from the dogs. Rapp finished before me, promising to return with clothes. By the time I sopped up the last of the liquid with a hunk of bread, he launched a leather outfit in my direction. I caught them, reflexes faster after all the training I’d done on my way to Uzhhorod.
“Nice catch,”
he commented, scooping up the empty bowls. “You change and I’ll take these to the washing station.”
“Thanks,”
I said, and he slipped out. I waited a beat before stripping off my clothes and pulling on the ones much too large for me. Calling on my magic, I pulled a new form to me, tall and broad enough to fill them out, but with average features so as not to stand out. I chose blood-red eyes, powerful enough to be seen with Rapp, though not so powerful as to call attention to myself. Most of the darker colors had gone with Parancsok Olet to Fured, I’d learned, for enhanced training the day Rokath dropped me at Gyor Palace.
Rapp did a double take when he reentered the tent. Then, he looked me up and down. “Your magic is fucking cool, Assyria. I have to give you that.”
I shrugged. “All it’s gotten me so far is trouble.”
My voice was deeper once again, and I cringed at the foreignness.
“Well let’s go cause some more,”
Rapp grinned, motioning for me to follow.
“Stay,”
I told the dogs, who barely bothered to crack an eye for our departure after I denied them more food. They were as tired as we were for the distance we covered on a daily basis. At least at the front, we moved more quickly than those at the back.
The air cooled quickly as the sun dropped below the mountains, and this far from Uzhhorod, thousands of stars were already visible overhead. Fires dotted the spaces between the tents, offering warmth and light, and all around, flaps were tied back, beckoning groups to enter and socialize. I hadn’t gotten much of an opportunity to appreciate the sheer size of the camp before being spirited away to Gyor, and as I followed Rapp through a maze I’d never find my way out of, I was awestruck by the organized chaos.
Eventually, I spotted a somewhat familiar pennant flag with a bird etched into it. Laughter roared from somewhere nearby, and then we rounded a corner. A series of tables ringed a large fire, males crowding each of them and clinking metal mugs together.
“Do they have ale?”
I hissed under my breath.
“If they do, we don’t tell Rokath,”
Rapp replied with a small chuckle.
I liked Rapp even more now. “Deal,”
I snorted. “What’s his issue with the rules anyway?”
Rapp stopped in his tracks and yanked me behind one of the unoccupied tents. “Do not ask that of anyone besides me, okay?”
“Why?”
I pressed, brows pulling together.
He blew out a long breath, rubbing the back of his neck. “It is a story for another time. One Rokath should tell you himself.”
Dissatisfied with his answer, but understanding I wouldn’t pry any more for him, I nodded. “Let’s go win that ring,”
I said instead.
He relaxed and stepped back into the thoroughfare. “Follow my lead.”
I smothered the grin that wanted to bloom on my face. At least in this form, it was also easier to maintain some mental distance from Rokath too. And I hoped he wasn’t paying attention to the muted connection either. That would only flag that I was up to something I shouldn’t be.
As the males noticed Rapp’s approach, they all leaped to their feet and offered hasty salutes. “Hadvezér Rapp, we didn’t see you there.”
“At ease,”
he said, opening his posture and holding a neutral stance. “We came to play cards.”
“Make room for the Hadvezér and…?”
One of the males looked pointedly at me.
“Olrus,”
I offered, my tattered heart twinging at the thought of my friend.
Has Kiira heard anything of his well-being?
Surely she would write to us once she had. True to her word, she’d spoken to Xannirin about it, who had personally penned the note Kiira sent south along with a new priestess to take over for Anara.
“Olrus is in the Zene Squad,”
Rapp commented, taking a seat beside the male who had spoken. I settled on his other side.
“This is Százados Gozzak, Madar Squad,”
Rapp introduced the male who had spoken. The male who supposedly had my mother’s ring.
I dipped my head to him in deference but eyed him warily.
“You arrived at the right time, I was about to deal the first hand,”
Gozzak commented, shuffling a deck of worn cards.
“What game are we playing tonight?”
Rapp asked him.
“Omur,”
Gozzak replied with a sly grin.
Rapp barked a laugh. I hoped that was a good sign.
“Deal us in,”
he told Gozzak. Then, from his pocket, he produced a sack of coin and plopped it in the center of the table. “Put up your best bets, because I am feeling lucky.”
He subtly dropped a few into my lap, and I placed the pile in front of me.
Gozzak held Rapp’s gaze and plopped a handful of metal on the table. When he removed his hand, a dainty gold ring sat atop the pile—one I would recognize anywhere.
My mother’s ring.
Rapp glanced sidelong at me, and I subtly dipped my chin. A few others around the table threw their own bets on the table, and then Gozzak handed the cards to another one of the males to deal. Once two had landed in front of all of us, I picked mine up, surreptitiously studying the players for any indication on how I was supposed to play. The dealer flipped three cards over in front of him.
Around the table, males stared at one another, even more intently studying me. I fought the urge to gulp and tightened my grip on the cards to stop my hands from shaking. “Zene Squad, you said?”
one of them asked me.
“Aye,”
I replied, not offering more that might get me in trouble.
“Are you under Arrand or Caane?”
he asked, and others flicked their attention to me.
Fuck, I have no idea who they are. If they are real at all. Is this a test?
Subtly, Rapp tapped his cards twice against the table.
“Caane,”
I blurted, hoping I’d read Rapp’s signal correctly.
“That fucker. He cheated last time we played cards. Hope he’s not teaching your squad his dirty tricks.”
That pulled a chuckle from around the table, and then the attention swerved to the bets.
I nearly slumped with relief.
Some either added or removed coins from their pile, and unsure what would indicate whether or not I should make such adjustments, I left mine as it was. Rapp added to his pile, sporting a malicious grin. He leveled his gaze on Gozzak, who wore a mirror expression. “I’m glad you joined us tonight, Hadvezér Rapp. Few can beat me in cards, though tonight is not your lucky night I am afraid.”
“And why is that?”
Rapp intoned, tilting his head slightly as if he were daring the Százados to challenge him further.
“I guess we shall see when we fan out our cards,”
he grinned back, exuding an air of utter confidence.
The dealer flipped another card, and a round of groans sounded around me. Some tossed their hands to the middle of the table, while others altered their bets. The male who had questioned me was among them. He made another playful jab about Caane’s cheating, to which I merely chuckled a response.
I glanced at my cards again. In my hand, I held two with the number ten drawn in the top right corner, while the left hand side held a small diamond on one and a crow on another. In front of the dealer, there were two more tens, one on either side. Between them, a Kral and a Kralovna rested, though both had a heart in their corners.
“Mmm, if someone has two more tens, they’ll be a lucky male,”
Rapp teased from beside me, and my cheeks flamed, though I was grateful he had looked at my cards. I hoped the male on the other side of me hadn’t been able to read them with how I had them splayed in my hands.
Gozzak chuckled, his cards flat on the table in front of him. He lifted the barest hint of an edge before returning his attention to Rapp. “Might just be me, Hadvezér.”
“Let’s see the final card then,”
Rapp said, holding a feral smile.
The dealer flipped over the fifth card—a three with a crow drawn in the corner.
More groans rang out, and more dropped out of play, pulling their coin backward. But Rapp and Gozzak merely stared, neither of them willing to budge on what they had already laid out. I waited too, as Rapp had told me to follow his lead.
“Final bets,”
the dealer called. A few more tossed their cards to the center, until it was only Gozzak, Rapp, and me still willing to risk our money.
Blood pounded in my ears as I waited for what would happen next.
Did Rapp have a good hand? Did Gozzak? Did I? Was Rapp going to lose all his gold in an attempt to return my mother’s ring to me?
“Turn your cards over,”
the dealer ordered. Swallowing, I did.
Gozzak’s face fell as he looked at both our cards. “Fucking Fates,”
he cursed, and Rapp threw his head back and laughed. In front of Rapp, two cards with stamped hearts waited, one with a V and another with an A. In front of Gozzak, two more Kral appeared.
“Does that mean we won?”
I muttered under my breath.
Rather than respond, Rapp pulled the pile of coins, with my mother’s ring, toward him. “Better luck next time, Gozzak.”
Surreptitiously, he tucked the ring between his fingers and slipped it under the table. Understanding his intention, I opened my palm. The light metal plopped into it, and I pocketed it immediately, not wanting to lose it. It was too small to fit around my finger in this form.
“Who wants to play again?”
Rapp asked, wiggling his brows. “I’ll even be kind enough to return your money, since I’ll just take it again, and I do want to play more.”
A groan resounded around the table, but they dealt another hand. This time, I folded immediately when I saw a two and a three in front of me. As time passed, I found myself grinning and laughing along with the males, stumbling my way through the card game. It reminded me of the camaraderie I’d found with the Lovak Squad during our journey from Stryi, and with it, some of the ache in my heart eased.
For a little while, I forgot about Rokath, this mate bond, and being forced into another life I didn’t want. For a little while, I got to pretend I was normal.
When Rapp and I returned some hours later to Rokath’s tent, I hugged him profusely and thanked him for winning the ring. He’d left me so I could drop my magic and change, and I slipped the ring onto my finger, savoring the cool metal against my skin, almost like my mother was offering me a gentle embrace even now.
“Don’t mention it. Literally, Rokath will be so pissed,”
Rapp laughed, returning the gesture.
“Where is he anyway?”
I asked. The hour had grown late, and usually, the two were asleep next door by now.
Rapp shrugged. “Told me he was going off for a ride to think. He is a military genius, so I don’t question his methods. If it weren’t for Banand getting captured and forced to create that plague, we’d already be standing in Sivy.”
I paused with one large boot dangling between us. “Excuse me?”
Too late, Rapp realized his mistake. “Assyria, you cannot tell anyone what I just said.”
“I won’t if you explain,”
I said slowly, mind whirling. The boot thudded to the ground. “I thought the Angels created the sickness?”
Rapp tossed the clothes I had worn to the side. “It’s best if you sit down.”
I went to the table and pulled back a chair. Bracing his hands on his hips, Rapp looked up and blew out a breath, shoulders dropping. “The Angels did, in a roundabout way. Banand is another burgundy-eyed Demon with the power to create targeted plagues. Pretty useful except to start one he has to get close to someone.”
Rapp rubbed the back of his neck, then joined me. My heart thudded erratically against my ribs. “We didn’t want to risk him infecting the Demons by accident, so we were capturing Angels for him to practice on. One escaped and told his superiors of Banand’s powers. It wasn’t long before they attacked, ambushed us from the treetops actually, with the sole purpose of capturing him.”
Rapp opened his palms, staring at them as if he was lost in the memory of what had happened. I held my breath and waited for him to finish. “The Angels must have lost thousands trying to get him, but they did. Not even a week later, the plague broke out. We lost tens of thousands within days, and retreated all the way to the wall within a week. They’ve pressed their advantage ever since.”
All I could do was blink as I processed that information. Everything I’d been told about the plague that killed my entire family was a lie. Rokath, Rapp, Xannirin, fuck, probably even Kiira had covered up what truly happened. At what level of power did the knowledge switch?
Am I now part of that cohort that gets to know the truth?
I clutched my chest as I struggled to breathe. My father, my mother, my sister, none of them would have died if it weren’t for the power the Giver blessed this Demon—Banand—with, and yet his power was a waste, just as much as my own. In the end, it only harmed the Demons.
What else was Rokath lying about?
This new information fed the embers of mistrust and stoked them into a rolling flame.
Rapp turned even more serious and leaned closer to me. “The Angels will do the same if they hear even a whisper of Rokath having a mate.”
A stone settled in my gut, and I pressed my hands firmly there as a sick feeling unfurled. The gravity of the mate bond settled over me with newfound understanding. The Angels had struck out in a similar manner before, and both Rapp and Rokath believed they might try again.
“But everyone knows I’m his fallen and nothing more, so everything will be okay,”
I said, hoping to reassure myself as much as Rapp.
I would not die for Rokath as Banand had.
“Exactly. So don’t worry, Assyria, we’ll be strolling through Sivy in no time, and then all this hiding will be over.”
Rapp straightened and went to pick up the discarded clothes.
“Thank you, Rapp. For everything. Especially for telling me the truth,”
I murmured, disbelief still clinging to every fiber of my being.
He merely nodded and slipped outside.
Tears burned my nose and eyes a moment later. I strode to the bed, throwing myself on it and allowing them to soak into the blankets while I grieved the loss of everyone I loved in an entirely new way.