51
Anoise pricked at my ears, drawing me out of the reverie I’d been lulled into on our ride. Days had passed, and yet Olrus still filled my thoughts. Over and over, Rokath had attempted to console me, to reassure me that everything would be okay. I only shoved him away. At least now, some of that iciness had returned to him. It would ensure his survival, even if it meant my heart continued to shatter.
Blinking, I sharpened my focus on the land ahead. We were still within the canyon’s belly, wider than ever before but just as high on the striated sides. Something moved in the distance, far enough away that I knew it wouldn’t be the small game I’d been spotting as Rokath taught me how to scout for danger. A few battalions of riders had departed before we did, and it seemed like we’d nearly caught up to them.
“Is that–”
“The front,”
Rokath growled, and then I understood what that noise was.
Screams. Anguished screams. Dying screams.
The hairs on my arms rose as another volley of them echoed down the canyon.
“We’re still a day away from it,”
he told me, so casually that I whipped my head to the side and gaped at him.
“Isn’t that kind of a big deal?”
I asked, a waver in my voice.
He pulled back on his mount’s reins, halting him. I did the same with Blaeze. Grem and Zeec trotted forward and sniffed before returning to us, plopping on the ground and panting. “Yes, which is why we must shift our forces around now.”
Clopping hooves drew my attention, and Rapp appeared from behind the closest supply wagon a moment later. By the grim determination on his face, I gathered that he knew of this plan already. Clearly, no one trusted me with this information, and I was kept in the dark yet again, merely a decoration who was supposed to do as she was told when she was told.
Shading his face, Rapp stared down the canyon too. His tongue worked over the ring in his lip, and then he turned his attention to Rokath. “Left or right?”
“Left,”
Rokath replied. Rapp nodded.
“Left or right, what?”
I asked, attention bouncing between the two of them.
“We’re splitting up,”
Rapp stated, swinging a leg over his mount and dropping to the ground.
“Wait what? How?”
I frowned, trying to understand what the two were talking about.
Rapp handed me his reins without a word, and I tracked his movement until he disappeared around the soldiers behind us. More noise filled the air around us as orders rang out.
I slashed my attention to Rokath, who had also dismounted and appeared ready to command his army. “Ro–”
I started but corrected myself. “Halálhívó–”
“Now is not the time for your questions,”
he growled. “Stay here until I return for you.”
I glanced ahead, at where the battle raged in the distance. “Really? Here?”
I huffed. Sure, Rokath had been teaching me how to fight, but if the line broke and we were suddenly overwhelmed, I’d be defenseless, which was what he didn’t want.
“Assyria,”
he snapped, drawing my attention back to him.
I offered it to him with narrowed eyes. His were barely visible through his ebony horned helmet, but the riotous fire in them was unmistakable. “I need to focus on moving everyone and everything to the top of the ridge. Your complaining and questioning will not help that.”
An annoyed noise slipped past my lips before I could stop it. Rokath shot me a warning look, then disappeared along with Rapp, leaving me to watch over three horses and two dogs. That was all I was useful for, I supposed.
Waiting. Watching. Doing nothing.
Rather than remain in the saddle, I hopped down and led my pack toward the rough stone walls. A few scraggly bushes clung to the bottom, and I secured the leather reins to a branch, though I didn’t suspect the horses would venture far. They were all well trained for their tasks. Grem and Zeec sought the shade immediately, and I settled between them, knees tucked up toward my chest and head resting on my crossed arms atop them.
Stupid fucking males.
Rokath and I had been crafting some sort of armistice in our hatred of one another. I knew much of my negative attitude was born from yet another loss in my life, but I couldn’t be bothered to rein in my emotions. Rokath had absorbed my harsh words without so much as a blink, though with each spit of venom, that softness that had appeared in his eyes bled away. My plan to keep him at arm’s length was working because the animosity had returned in full force.
I hated to admit that it carved another slash into my tattered heart. Why had I been foolish enough to believe that the Reaper might not have cursed me after all? That by opening myself up to Rokath, he wouldn’t die?
Stewing on my shitty situation yet again, I watched as males gathered armfuls of supplies and unfurled their dark wings. Shooting into the sky like dark stars, they scaled the high walls and disappeared over the edge. At the rate they were going, this venture would take the entire day. A few with eyes in the darker shades of red used their magic to ferry heavier burdens upward, but since Rokath had sent the most powerful conscripts off to Fured for additional training, no one had enough to make massive differences.
The Parancsok and Százados that remained all had those darker eyes, but I didn’t see a single one helping their charges move the items. Instead, they were busy coordinating movements, bent over parchments, shouting and pointing.
I scoffed, then uncurled myself and buried my fingers in Grem’s dusty black fur. “Can you believe these males? So inefficient. They’re taking everything out of the wagons and leaving them behind when they could just move them to the top.”
He groaned and stretched his legs with a little tremble. “I know, right? It’s a good thing you are a dog. But you’re way smarter than them, aren’t you boy?”
I cooed, moving to scratch behind his ears. Zeec, not to be left out, shuffled closer, nudging me with his snout. “Oh yes, you are too, Zeec,”
I told him, and he huffed a contented sigh as I massaged his pointed ear.
Glancing up at the sun, I tried to gauge the time. The shadows blocking us from its harsh rays shrunk by the second, which meant we were closing in on prayer time. But by the looks of the males, we’d be skipping today.
Did they break to pray on the battlefield?
An image of the Angel and Demon armies tossing their weapons to the side and dropping to their knees to pray at the peak of the sun entered my mind, and I had to smother a laugh. It was a ridiculous notion when each side fought for every inch of ground, and somehow I got the sense that even if the Angels wanted to pause to pray to the Goddess, Rokath would take advantage of the situation.
He wasn’t a male of honor, of that I was absolutely certain.
As if my thoughts had summoned my mate, he appeared among the throng, towering over a Százados and gesticulating wildly. He ruled the army with a healthy dose of both respect and fear, and the male barely shrank under his wrath, merely nodding and bearing the brunt of what Rokath offered.
Flashes of him punishing the male who had led me pass entered my mind and caused my core to clench. I hated that the way he intimidated others, his ruthless nature, made me desire him more.
The mighty Halálhívó stomped away. The male shouted at a few others to join him, and then shadows swirled around them, snaking under the unhitched wagon and wobbling it off the ground. About halfway up the sheer canyon wall, it teetered dangerously to one side. The Százados yelled at one of his squad members, who poured more magic into the dropping side.
I shot to my feet, already calling upon the shadows in my chest. “Stay,”
I told the hounds.
Jogging forward, I lifted both arms and shot magic beneath the rear, leveling it out. Five heads whipped around, gaping as I approached. I took my place beside the Százados. “Are we going to move this thing or not?”
I snapped, realizing a moment later I sounded just like Rokath.
“Yes, uh–”
“Don’t bother with pleasantries, just push,”
I huffed, twisting and raising my arms further. Still sounded exactly like Rokath.
More inkiness poured from the five, and within two breaths, the wagon rested atop the ridge. I turned to the Százados. “I’m assuming one of you needs to go up there and finish the task?”
“Aye, and thank you for your assistance,”
he replied, studying my burgundy eyes. To be fair, I was not often seen by most of the army. Though the whispers had died down for the most part, the knowledge of a female among them was at the forefront of too many minds. I was risking Rokath’s wrath for helping, but fuck it, he was going to be an asshole regardless. Might as well make use of my powers, given that I was one of three in the current group with them. Besides, I wouldn’t be on the battlefield with these males, and whatever they could conserve for their fight would benefit them.
“See to it,”
I ordered, then prowled along the line, searching for the next struggling group. Again, I contributed my shadows to helping lift heavy objects, horses, anything that I could. Males soared upward on either side of the canyon as they split off into their new groups. I glanced back at the hounds and the horses, finding them exactly where I left them. They were distant now, after how many males I’d helped, but I decided I could continue a bit further, especially since there was no sign of Rapp or Rokath.
As I turned toward the next group, a familiar voice caught my attention. A bulky, muscular frame and cherry eyes boasted a shit-eating grin as he teased a group of males into pushing a horse to the ridge.
Excitement bloomed in my chest, and I raced forward, calling his name. “Dromak!”
He’d only seen me once in my Assyria form, but I hoped he would remember me. He slid his attention from the males to me, and he paled immediately.
I paused mid-stride a dozen paces away from him, something heavy settling in my stomach. “Do you need help?”
I asked tentatively. We’d been friends once. But maybe that was only because I was male.
Dromak looked around, searching for something. Then he beckoned me forward with a wave of his hand. I closed the distance and he dropped his head, speaking in a low volume. “I can’t be seen speaking with you. Jaku gave me strict orders to stay away after the whole…incident.”
Tears pricked my eyes, and I nodded. Of course, Rokath would have been vehement about that. I was, after all, supposedly his personal fallen because of that incident. No one needed a reminder of it or what actually took place. The H’s carved into my wrists burned with renewed hatred, along with my heart, and I wished that I hadn’t ruined the long sleeved leather armor in my failed escape attempt so I could hide them.
Dromak saw them anyway, and something that looked a lot like pity filled his eyes. “I truly am sorry, Assyria. For everything. Maybe when this is all over…”
“Yes,”
I said quickly, fighting the urge to dash my watery eyes. “A blessing from the Giver it will be soon.”
“Aye. Go on and help some others. I’ve got this under control,”
Dromak said gently. Then, he returned to his merciless banter with his unit. The dismissal was clear, and I moved on, ducking my head and wiping my nose on the end of the scarf draped around my head and shoulders.
The next few wagons I moved, I did so in silence, barely bothering to acknowledge those I was helping. On and on I went, pouring my pain into the shadows, giving Rokath something he could never give me.
“Assyria!”
Rokath barked, and I lifted my head, glaring at my mate. The day had fully renewed my hatred of him, and it seemed that the feeling was mutual. Dutifully, I had waited for him exactly where he’d left me once I decided I needed to rest. I still had myself and five animals to move to the top, after all, though I had no clue which side we were to go on. Rokath kept all his plans from me, and apparently Rapp had hidden a great deal too.
I was hot, tired, thirsty, and angry with both of them.
“What?”
I snapped back, not bothering to rise.
“There you are,”
he groused, rubbing his temples. “It’s time for us to go.”
Bracing a hand on the rough rock behind me, I rose. “Which side?”
Rokath tipped his head back, looking straight up. “There.”
I lifted a brow. “And I’m going with you? Not Rapp?”
“Obviously,”
Rokath grumbled, shadows so dark they were difficult to differentiate from his armor working themselves into a frenzy.
I rolled my eyes. “I thought after our interactions the last few days you’d send me off with Rapp.”
“Have I not been training you at night?”
he growled, taking what he thought was a menacing step forward. I wasn’t afraid of him and he couldn’t intimidate me.
“Just because you are training me does mean you are enjoying it,”
I snarled, calling on my own magic. Black, membranous wings snapped from my back, and I flexed them, having to stretch them a bit since I hadn’t used them in a while. I wrapped the dark tendrils gingerly around Grem and Zeec, lifting them off the ground. Blaeze, too, floated up in time with me.
With one last spiteful glare, I shot into the sky with my animals, leaving Rokath and the two horses on the ground. Now that I knew something I could at least get out of his way, since I was such an annoyance.
“Do not run from me,”
Rokath rumbled in my mind.
“I’m flying, actually,”
I shot back. The veins of color flashed by me as we rose faster and faster, trying to get away from him. We burst over the edge, startling those still repacking wagons and reorganizing themselves. With more consideration than I’d ever give Rokath again, I placed the hounds on the ground, then Blaeze on his feet. The stallion tossed his mane like he was trying to shake off the feeling of flying through the air.
A heartbeat later, a heavy thud shook the earth behind me. I didn’t have to turn to know it was Rokath. Our fucking mate bond told me.
Grabbing Blaeze’s reins, I strode forward, whistling for the dogs to follow. But Rokath whistled too, and they halted, first looking at me and then Rokath. “Grem, Zeec,”
Rokath snapped at them, and they started to move in his direction.
“Stay,”
I told them, and once again they paused. Confusion played out in the flicks of their ears.
I whirled on my mate. “Are we really going to play out our issues with the dogs?”
“Now is not the time.”
“It’s never the time!”
“The entire army is watching.”
“Let them. Or are you too scared they’ll lose respect for you, stop fearing you, because of me?”
“Do you want to say goodbye to Rapp or not?”
His question hit me like a punch to the gut. Was Rokath implying that Rapp would die and I’d never get to see him again? He’d been my only friend, only support, besides the dogs, since I left with the army. A snake wrapped itself around my chest and squeezed the air from my lungs. Sweat slicked my palms as I tried to calm my racing heart.
“What are you not telling me, Rokath?”
“This is war, Assyria. I know you’ve lived a sheltered life in Stryi, but it’s time to get your head out of your ass and face the realities of what’s to come. If you want to live with regret, then that is on you. But if you want to say goodbye, now is your chance.”
“Like you’d know anything about regret and loss.”
Icy anger shattered down our bond. “You have no idea, little imposter. Make your decision now because we still have ground to cover today.”
Nails curled into my palm as I stared Rokath down. I did want to say goodbye to Rapp. But I didn’t want this to be the last time I would say that to him. “Fine. Where is he?”
“Below. Waiting for you.”
With a huff, I stomped toward Rokath, giving him a wide berth as I flapped my wings again. He caught my arm before I could fling myself over the edge. “Please be careful.”
I jerked out of his grip and leaped. Fear froze my stomach as I realized just how far away the bottom of the canyon was, and just how unaccustomed I was to using my wings to descend. Flaring them to either side, I tried to slow my fall, half-succeeding. For the millionth time, I cursed myself for not learning my magic better.
Changing the angle slightly, I turned in a lazy circle, falling like a leaf in the autumn wind instead of a ripe fruit in the midsummer. Rapp grinned up at me from the ground as I made my final descent. I landed with a thud, harder than I meant to, and stumbled forward before righting myself. Banishing my wings, I approached the Hadvezér.
We were utterly alone in the bottom of the canyon, I realized. The lack of sound was eerie. Rapp opened his arms and pulled me into an embrace. The gesture was unexpected, and my eyes burned as I returned it. “Rokath can be an asshole when he’s focused. Support him, Assyria, even if you feel like he doesn’t deserve it. There’s more going on beneath the surface.”
I snorted and stepped back. “He doesn’t. And none of you will tell me anything. It’s always, ‘wait for Rokath to tell you.’”
Focusing on my anger at my mate was better than focusing on the sorrow that wanted to slash another gouge into my heart.
But I failed, and a sob wracked my chest. Rapp crouched so we were eye level and rested a hand on my shoulder. “We are going to win, Assyria. We are so close. And then, when this is all over, I’ll force Rokath to tell you everything. You two are mated now, and you deserve to know what shaped him to be who he is today. Then, you two can move forward with a clean slate and much more understanding.”
Twin tears tracked down my dusty cheeks as I nodded.
Rapp hugged me again. “I won’t die, Assyria. You won’t have to lose anyone else important to you, okay?”
“I don’t have anyone else,”
I choked out, squeezing him tighter. As it stood, I barely felt like I had him for support. I was so utterly alone.
“Take care of yourself too,”
he instructed, unwinding us. “You are powerful, smart, brave. Not many would have jumped in to help like you did today.”
A watery laugh escaped me. “You saw that?”
“Rokath did too.”
“Then why didn’t he stop me?”
I asked, searching Rapp’s face for answers.
He merely shrugged. “He is changing, whether he wants to believe it or not. Trust that, trust yourself, trust him. The Weaver’s thread is strong, and he will lead us to victory.”
“Glory to the Demons,”
I muttered.
That pulled a grin to the Hadvezér’s face. “Glory to the Demons, indeed. Now go before he flies down here and rips my arms off for touching you.”
I laughed again. “He wouldn’t.”
“Oh, but he would.”
Rapp stepped back, shadows swirling around his leather-clad forearms. Wings sprouted from his back, and the tendrils snaked around his horse, lifting him into the sky. “May the Reaper’s eye pass over you. I’ll see you soon, Assyria.”
“May your gift never fade,”
I choked out.
And then, Rapp flew away, across the canyon to the males under his command. After a moment, I called on my own magic to ferry me to the top one last time. When I landed, Rokath was nowhere to be found, but Blaeze still waited, pulling what little he could off a desert bush. His munching filled my ears as I mounted then steered him toward the wagons rolling away.
I glanced over my shoulder at the opposite side of the canyon, a near mirror image to what spread out before me. The sun dipped lower, casting long shadows over the mountains in the distance, where the wall that divided the two realms was barely visible. As night fell over us, fires sprung up along its length, tiny in comparison to the one blazing in my chest.
By the time we finally stopped moving, I couldn’t even look at Rokath as I burst into our quarters, and I immediately stripped and crawled into the bed, curling in on myself with my back to him as I tried not to fall apart again.