5. Chapter Five #2
“Before long, our bathroom playtime was expected everywhere we went, so it became a fun challenge for us to make it happen while everyone was doing their best to try and catch us in the act,” Ashton said.
“It was an absolute thrill to be sucking or fucking Dante knowing that all the other guests were right outside the door. Total fucking turn-on.”
“Yeah, good times,” Dante added.
“What’s your kink?” Ashton asked Bronx.
“I’m not sure I have one,” Bronx answered.
“Everyone has a kink,” Ashton said.
Bronx thought about all the things or visuals that got him off but none of it was anything he’d consider being a kink.
“I guess my kink would be being sober,” Bronx said after a moment.
“Sobriety is your kink ?” Ashton asked.
“Being sober is sexy as hell in my world,” Bronx said.
“How long has it been?” Dante asked.
“A long damn time—over eight years now,” Bronx said with pride.
“Do you miss the booze?” Ashton asked.
“Sometimes I do but I don’t miss the extremes I went to find the bottom of a bottle or how I’d feel the next day,” Bronx said. “Believe me, I’m in a much better place without the alcohol.”
“Was it just the drinking you had trouble with?” Dante asked.
“Nope, I was an equal opportunity addict and ingested just about anything I could get my hands on to get high,” Bronx shared. “Pills, a mountain of coke, Ecstasy, tons of dope, I even tried H one time. Those were dark days for me back then and I feel blessed to have survived it.”
“What were you hiding from?” Dante asked.
Bronx looked at Dante and met his steady gaze.
His voice was strong but his eyes were warm with understanding and for that reason Bronx began to spill the private details of his life—somewhat.
There would always be certain aspects of his past that he’d keep to himself.
It was just the way he was. As much as he wore his heart on his sleeve, he couldn’t put all the pieces of himself on display. He’d never felt safe enough to do so.
“Shitty parents,” Bronx said. “I learned in my senior year of high school that they didn’t want a gay son—even though I identified as bisexual back then.
They only saw me as gay and they said they were embarrassed.
They also hated my career choice, so as soon as I graduated high school I left home.
I lived in my car for a while and then floated in and out of friends’ apartments when I could and I drank a lot.
I drank far more than I ate food which turned me into a skinny runt. ”
“Your parents sound like assholes,” Ashton commented. “Are you still in touch with them?”
Bronx shook his head. “No, I cut ties with them the day I moved out. They’re both gone now and that’s a good thing.
With everything I’ve achieved in life they’d still only see me as their loser gay son and nothing more.
I’m much happier without them in my close circle.
The people who are part of my life now are there because I want them to be—well, everyone except for Cavalari. ”
“You’re not attracted to him?” Dante asked.
“Who?” Bronx asked with a stern grimace on his face like he was smelling a nasty fart.
“Cavalari, you douche,” Dante corrected.
“Holy fuck, that’s a hard no,” Bronx replied.
“Are you denying that Cavalari is hot as hell?” Ashton asked.
“Mercy, I’d be happy to watch that man get dressed in the morning,” Dante said. “I bet he can somehow make a mundane chore like shaving sexy.”
“Jesus, do you ever listen to the things that come out of your mouths?” Bronx asked.
“We’re only looking and that’s not a crime,” Ashton said. “We don’t have any interest in taking things beyond the scrutinizing stage.”
“Anyone who puts a hand on my Ashes better be prepared to have their fingers broken,” Dante said.
“I can understand that,” Bronx agreed. The afternoon was waning and Bronx knew what that meant.
“What’s going through your head?” Dante questioned. “Your face just pinched up like you’re in pain or something.”
“I just realized that I don’t want to go back to my own home,” Bronx admitted.
“Why’s that?” Ashton asked.
“Cavalari and I had an . . . argument of sorts before I left my house,” Bronx said. “It’s why I came over here in the first place. I had to get away from him, so I drove as fast as I could to put distance between us before I killed him.”
“I’m intrigued,” Dante said. “What happened to make you leave your own home? Did he pull your hair? Give you an atomic wedgie?”
Bronx growled and ran his fingers through his short, wavy hair and it reminded him of a comment Cavalari made at the house. “By the way, he hates my hair short like this,” Bronx said.
“Who hates it, Cavalari?” Ashton asked.
“Yeah, the dickwad himself,” Bronx confirmed.
“I don’t think my hair looks that bad, and besides, in order to get the gum out the woman spit at me in the VIP line in Vegas, I had to cut it off.
It’ll grow back soon enough. I’m not worried about it, but I’m annoyed as fuck that Cavalari, had to offer his opinion as soon as he saw me after his vacation.
It’s irritating shit like that, that brings me right back to when he was constantly slapping handcuffs on me. ”
“That woman didn’t spit her gum at you,” Dante explained. “She was choking on it, and somehow managed to cough it up right when you happened to walk by. It wasn’t done maliciously.”
“Whatever. It was gross as hell and my hair needed to be cut,” Bronx mumbled.
“So, you left the house because Cavalari ridiculed your haircut?” Ashton asked with confusion.
“No, I got pissed off because he walked in on me while I was staring out the sliding glass door in my bedroom . . . and I just happened to have my hand resting in the waistband of my boxer briefs,” Bronx explained.
“He caught you jerking off?” Dante asked and sat up a little higher in his lounge chair.
“I honestly wasn’t stroking myself,” Bronx said. “I merely had my hand resting in my boxers and he had to make it into something it wasn’t. I was ready to punch him in the face.”
“Fucking hell, that’s kind of funny,” Ashton laughed.
“Trust me, there was no humor in what happened,” Bronx said.
“What was sort of humorous for me was he got me so pissed off by accusing me of jerking off that I pushed my boxers down onto my thighs and actually did start stroking myself right in front of him. I wasn’t even aroused when I started but once he began watching me it was game on.
I think he was looking for maybe a few seconds, if that, and then he ran from the doorway like a scared little bitch.
But before he hurried off I noticed he was tenting his pants, the fucker.
What made me even angrier was by the time he left my doorway I was completely turned-on and needed to finish myself off in the bathroom. ”
“Wow, so being watched lit your fuse,” Dante commented.
“I guess it did,” Bronx answered. “I did it out of anger, though, versus a kink factor.”
“It sure sounds like you’ve found your kink,” Ashton said. “You should explore that some more and see what happens.”
Bronx stood up from his lounge chair and dug the car keys out of his pocket. “Nothing is going to happen with Cavalari—now or ever,” he stated with firmness.
“Keep telling yourself that,” Dante said. “Eventually you might convince yourself there’s nothing there simmering below the surface.
“Whatever,” Bronx said. “I’m going to leave you two alone, so you can go ahead and bone each other. Have a good one.”
“Oh, it’s always a good one for us,” Ashton teased.
Bronx gave them a wave as he walked toward the gate to leave.
He drove around for a while and thought about all the shit Dante and Ashton had talked about.
Then he considered Dante’s question on whether or not he found Cavalari attractive.
It pained him to admit it to himself, but the truth was he found himself extremely attracted to his guard.
Almost as hot as he was when said guard was a police officer and wore a uniform.
He wished beyond reason that wasn’t the case but the man truly was gorgeous.
With his perpetually tanned skin, tea-colored eyes, and that sexy as fuck beard stubble darkening his jawline, his features created the perfect male specimen.
Bronx had to fight the constant urge to peruse the layers upon layers of brawn and muscle Cavalari had all over his body.
Bronx could definitely appreciate his Adonis beauty but it sucked he’d be attracted to the one man he could never have. Ever. Such was the way his life worked.
Bronx finally ended his scenic drive home and managed to glide up his driveway undetected by Rex or Cavalari.
He was pretty sure he’d heard the two guards chatting out on the back deck when he’d stepped out of his vehicle parked next to his house instead of in front of the garage.
Then to completely avoid bumping into either of them, he chose to use the front door to slip inside.
He made it about halfway up the main staircase to the second floor when Cavalari’s deep voice stopped him in his tracks.
“How was your visit with Dante and Ashton?” Cavalari asked.
“Not that it’s any of your business but it was fine,” Bronx answered and started up the stairs again.
“Your band meeting tomorrow is at one in the afternoon,” Cavalari stated.
“I’m well aware,” Bronx said after he stopped climbing the staircase for a second time.
“Dagger has requested I drive you,” Cavalari said with uncertainty.
“I’ll be driving myself,” he lied but only for the sake of arguing about something.
“It’s not your decision to make, Bronx,” he said with more sternness. “Dagger wants me to drive you, so that’s what is going to happen.”
“Do you always feel the need to follow orders?” Bronx chastised.
“It’s my job to do so,” Cavalari said in a clipped tone. “Why are you always trying to get me into trouble?”
“You should already know the answer to that question, so don’t make me waste my time explaining it to you yet again,” Bronx said and began to ascend the stairs one more time.
“Be ready to leave the house at twelve-twenty,” Cavalari directed. “Did you hear me?”
“Yeah, yeah. What-fucking-ever,” Bronx hollered over his shoulder as he hit the landing at the top of the stairs. “I already ate, so I’m going to bed.”
“Dealing with you is like negotiating with a four-year-old!” Cavalari yelled.
“And I’d have it no other way,” Bronx replied. “Have a good night.”
Bronx continued down the hallway toward his room, stepped inside the sanctuary of his personal space, and closed the door before locking it to keep out the distractions that lurked on the other side. It was so much safer for him staying inside this room.
After a quick shower, Bronx crawled beneath the sheets on his bed.
He grabbed the remote on the bedside table and pressed a button that electronically lowered the blinds on every window and sliding glass door, then shut off the lights.
The silence that wrapped around him felt like a comforting embrace.
He’d rather it be real touching from an actual human but he had no time to entangle emotions in what could never be more than fucking.
These days his thoughts were all over the place and after spending time with Dante and Ashton his heart was imaging all sorts of stupid scenarios he had no right thinking about.
The main attraction in those pipe dreams was none other than Cavalari and that was like an ice pick to the eye.