Chapter Five
Maya
Where am I? Did I die? Did all that bleach and peroxide finally see me off?
“Urrrg!” Fallon groans next to me.
No, not dead, just incredibly hungover.
“Why did we do this to ourselves? It wasn’t big, and it wasn’t clever!” I announce. One glass of wine turned into two. Which then turned into a bottle. Each.
“After that shit show last night? It was needed. But a paracetamol is needed more,” She mumbles, face down in her pillow.
As if we didn’t have enough to drink before all the Jake drama erupted. Cocktails, shots and wine do not mix. It seemed like such a good idea at the time, like it always does. An idea that we are both currently regretting.
“Waaaaater. I need water!” I plead as I attempt to roll off the bed, the room spins, just one of the lovely aftereffects of too much consumption.
“Grab me a bottle too, please, before I keel over,” Fallon begs.
When I finally drag my body into an upright position, I make my way into the kitchen. On my way, I notice the destruction we left during our pity party for two last night. After the dreaded phone call, we danced, ordered pizza, watched crappy TV and drank, drank far too much!
I really need to have a tidy round, but that can be a problem for later.
I grab the bottles and scurry back to the bedroom, needing to lay my head back down.
The effort to keep it vertical is too much.
Reaching across, I grab my phone and realise it’s still switched off.
Do I even bother to turn it on today? Anyone who knows me well would call Fallon anyway, we’re almost always together.
I’m not doing it, just the anxiety of staring at my phone when it’s not even switched on is making me feel sick.
Or it could just be the hangover. Who knows.
“How are you feeling, Maymay? Other than possible alcohol poisoning,” Fallon asks, finally lifting her head to glance at me.
“Honestly… better than I should. I feel like this weight has been pulling me down for so long, and I can finally breathe again.”
“I can’t believe how much of a dick he was being. Has he always been this bad?” She asks sullenly. Like she should have known all along.
“He’s been nasty before, but last night was on a whole other level. I’m glad he’s shown his true colours now, though. It scares me to think of how much worse it could have got if I’d have stayed with him.” I’ve seen firsthand how bad men can get, just not directly aimed at me.
“Ooo, Gracie has texted the group chat. We need to meet for breakfast in twenty minutes. Reckon we can make it?” She asks.
“For greasy food? I’ll make sure we’re ready!”
After a quick shower and raiding Fallon’s wardrobe, we rush out of the apartment and head to the local café. We have only walked a few meters, and already the smell of food hits my senses and draws me in. Is there any better way to sort a hangover than greasy food?
As we walk into the café, the sisters are already seated near the window, waving at us with annoyingly perky attitudes. Just because they were the sensible ones last night. Before joining them, we head over to the counter to order our usual morning-after feast.
“Two vanilla lattes and two full monty breakfasts, please,” I order and pay quickly before Fallon can get the chance. The least I can do is buy her breakfast after last night.
I don’t even get a chance to sit my arse down before Fallon starts offloading all the drama from the night before.
“What a dick!” Gracie exclaims. I don’t think I have ever seen such emotion come from her before.
“You’re taking the piss! Did he really? Please tell me you broke up with him? That’s crossing way too many lines,” Blair rages, just as infuriated as Gracie.
God, these girls, they are so angered for me, and as strange as it may sound, I love them even more for it. Knowing just how much they care makes me feel validated. I don’t know how I would cope without them; my eyes are tearing up again just thinking about it.
Gracie studies me; she is always the one to notice our changes in emotion. Like she’s in tune with it.
“I’m not crying because of him now; it’s because of how much I love you girls. Also, I am incredibly fragile from drinking too much, and that’s making me a little overemotional,” I try to laugh it off, knowing she can see straight through me.
“Girl, that’s what happens when you’re already steaming drunk, and you decide to carry on at home,” Blair remarks, and we all laugh. She’s got a point.
“So yeah, I’m single. I’ve gotten rid of it, as I should have done ages ago.” I admit. “I think I’m going to stay with Fal for another night or two, just be sure he isn’t coming back. I’m not letting him keep me away from my home, I worked too bloody hard for it.”
Growing up, my home life wasn’t exactly ideal.
My dad did a runner before I could even remember, and mum turned to the bottle.
She stayed out most nights, and when she didn’t, she was bringing different men home to meet me.
The first opportunity I got to get out of there, I took it.
Buying my own little sanctuary. I’ve never been back since.
“Have you heard from him since?” Graice asks.
“I wouldn’t know, I haven’t turned my phone back on.” I’m too busy ignoring the world and my problems within it.
“Well, I don’t blame you. We don’t need any negative energy today. He’s messing with my chakras.” Gracie turns her head in disgust, and we all burst out laughing.
“God forbid, not the chakras!” Blair cries out, making us even more hysterical.
“Sod you all. You won’t be laughing when you need me to come and cleanse the negative energy from you!” She huffs out in reply.
“Sorry, Gracie baby. We shouldn’t laugh at you and your messy chakras. I promise not to do it again,” Fallon retorts, already breaking that promise by choking on the laugh she tried to hold back.
“Oh, screw the lot of you. Arseholes.”
We’re still trying to regain control of ourselves when the waitress walks over with our food, but as soon as it’s placed in front of me, my focus is well and truly on the plate.
Heaven.
This is just what I needed. I can already feel the breakfast fixing all my problems, but the longer I sit here, the more my mind starts to drift to last night. And not about the man I have just broken up with.
It wanders to Tommy.
If I were single before bumping into him last night, would anything have happened? Would I have let it happen? Even though I want him more than any man I have ever wanted, I couldn’t let it happen. I couldn’t lose Fallon over her brother.
I guess he will have to stick to being my dream man. A dream in the sense that I can never let it become a reality.
If only it were his good looks that enticed me to him, but it isn’t. It’s every little thing about him. His confidence, humour, and wit. How well he cares for his family. How he has always cared for me. The way I know he will care for his future wife.
But that will never be me.
No matter how much I wanted it to be.
We finish our food and say our goodbyes to the girls.
Fallon and I start heading back to her apartment.
It’s one of those beautiful sunny days today.
The sky is clear and bright, but with a chilly breeze that makes you want to duck back inside.
It’s the perfect day to represent my mood.
My plan for the day is to chill out, eat junk food and be a vegetable on the couch binging Netflix, in hopes that doing so will make everything all better.
Of course, life doesn’t like to be so kind.
We’re walking up the stairs to her floor when we hear chatting above us. The voices grow louder the higher we climb until suddenly Fallon rushes up the last few steps when she realises who it is.
“Mum, Dad. What are you doing here? You never said you were coming round.” She asks, surprised.
“Hi, sweetie. We were passing by, so we thought we would check if you wanted a lift to our house. Today is the day that all my babies are in one place! I’m thinking we could order in some food and have a night together?
” Her mum chimes in with her happy tone.
Fals' mum is one of the kindest-hearted mums I have ever known. Not that mine is much to go by.
Fallon looks back at me as she opens her door, unease crossing her face. Clearly unsure if she should leave me alone or not tonight. I roll my eyes. I’m not that feeble.
“Uh, I’m not sure if I can tonight, can we do tomorrow?” she asks.
“Your sister is visiting friends in Liverpool tomorrow night, and God knows how long your brothers will be here for. You know, they very rarely have the time these days. Tonight is the only night you’re all here.
” Her mum replies sulkily. She has even popped out her bottom lip, too.
It’s clear to see where her daughter gets her dramatics from.
“Go. Don’t worry about me. I will happily have a chill and early night.” I tell Fallon. I really do need sleep. I’m hanging out of my arse today, and being around Tommy wouldn’t be ideal.
“Maya lovey, you’re family too. Of course, you will join us too.” Her mum smiles sweetly at me.
Fantastic… not.
How can I say no to that? I love how they see me as family, though, as I don’t have much of one myself.
All I want to do is hibernate and wallow in self-pity.
Instead, I have to go to Fallon’s parents' house, the very same night that her brother will be there, the one I’m desperately trying to avoid.
“Sounds great,” I say, even though I’m secretly dying on the inside.
“Okay, mum, give us a few minutes to get sorted, and we will head out with you.”
I would have offered to drive us there myself, as I don’t plan on drinking for a long time, but my car is at my house. The house that I am currently having to avoid because of dick head Jake.
What is it with me and needing to avoid men today? One man? Understandable. But two? This is beginning to sound like a me problem. To make matters worse, the one person I would love to confess all of this to is Fallon. How would she react if she knew I still felt the same way all these years later?
I don’t think I would like to find out.