Chapter Twenty-Three
“ I am Thaliya Anyassa, head healer of Chessardolian, the Court of the Fae.” Her spine straightens and she sits up taller at this proclamation, which is challenging because we’ve stuffed ourselves in the same broom closet she found me in many, many years ago. I suppose even some things aren’t safe whispered in her office.
But even in the dim light leaking through the cracks, I see it. The way her skin glows. Even here amidst a closet full of medicinal supplies and cobwebs. The slight point of her ears, which suddenly becomes more apparent, like she’s called it forward. Small truths fall into place, like a painting I’ve finally stepped back far enough to discover the whole picture.
My eyes go wide with incredulity as a small nudge deep within me whispers, “Truth.”
“I’m here on behalf of Queen Bronwinn. I tended her during the birth of her children and the war against the humans of Nefaria. I was there when she gave birth to her two babies.” She continues on before I can ask a question as if she can sense my tangled thoughts.
“She gave birth as the walls around her were breached by the enemy. She bravely held herself together so the healers and aides tending to her would not collapse with fright before both babes were born.”
I twist the damp cloth in my hand as if I’m trying to release every drop of water.
“One of those babes was you.” When those words spill from her lips it causes me to drop it completely. The white linen left forgotten on the dusty floor.
Her hands reach out to calm my own. “And from the moment I held you in my arms, I knew you were special.”
I continue to stare at her with wide, unbelieving eyes. “I’m sorry,” I breathe in and out to steady myself, but the amount of air I’m able to get in is insufficient. “I don’t understand.” My desire to agree with her out of politeness, or even deference toward the most meaningful teacher in my life, wars with everything inside me. My stomach sinks as I shake my head, denying Thaliya’s words and her soft smile. Even as I do, Thaddeus’ words echo in my head, a mirror to Thaliya’s. It’s just as he said.
“You, Rowandine Aeronwick of Merula, Princess of Everguard. You are indeed a princess. But perhaps not in the way you’ve always thought.” I shudder, an echo of Thaddeus’ words surrounding me. “You were born of a great people. A wise and strong people. They were destroyed in one fell swoop by King Hadeon Aeronwick of Nefaria.”
She pauses again and checks her many folds of fabric she wraps around her like armor, searching for something. She triumphantly pulls out a slim flask which she then uncorks and hands to me. “Drink,” she commands.
Without hesitation, I take a large gulp, and then one more; the liquid warming and burning down my throat at the same time. The terror growing inside me subsides slightly in an instant.
So, it’s just as Thaddeus said. Ever so slowly, the reality of everything sinks into my skin, just like a poultice, cold and stinging at first, but then sure enough, healing .
I hand the flask back to Thaliya, motioning that I can handle the rest and she might as well go on.
“Once your true father, the Fae King Azulien, realized the castle was falling to the humans, he and his councilors took precautions in the event he and the queen did not see the sun rise the next morning. He took great risk, and decided he must get his own child, for at the time he was only planning for one, to safety.”
“He and his council decided they’d get the child as far away from Merula as possible. Freathia in the north was the logical choice, as at this point, King Azulien had many allies there. Along with his northern councilman, he’d send one of his most trusted warriors to carry the babe across the realm to their own territory, where the child could be raised in secret among the Ancients, knowing they’d one day aid her in reclaiming her kingdom.”
“So, it’s as Thaddeus said? I really do have a twin? I mean, Licia of course, but…” I trail off, unsure what that makes Licia, trying to make space for both of them in my thoughts and in my heart.
Thaliya nods, encouraging me on.
“And this other sister, she was the one sent north?” I ask hesitantly.
“Exactly. By the time your father realized his wife gifted him with not one but two daughters was about the same time one of his scouts brought news that Queen Tristana, Hadeon’s wife, was also in labor—with her second child, tucked away in their own war tents, several miles northwest of the castle, on the coastal side of Merula. So they plotted quickly, deciding that if they worked fast enough, they could pull it off.”
“Pull what off, exactly?” I ask, trying to make sense of the story she’s unraveling right in front of me.
“A switch of sorts.” I can see her shoulders shrug in the dim light .
“So I’m some type of changeling?” Suddenly, dark, liquid fear begins to solidify into a hard rock of worry in my stomach that my own survival came at the peril of another.
“Well, yes, that was the plan. But Zeke, your father’s most trusted warrior, had a change of heart. When he arrived at Queen Tristana’s tent with you, she had just given birth to her babe. The nurses were getting ready for the afterbirth. However, that’s when Zeke’s wife stepped in. She has strong connections to the human royals, so there were no questions when she took over the ministrations.”
“While the others tended to baby Licia, his wife snuck you into the room, claiming you came along with the afterbirth. Before the healers attending to Queen Tristana could question this statement, Zeke gave a gentle caress of all minds present, allowing them to accept this new truth.”
“So, the Fae can actually control people’s minds? There’s truth in those stories?” I ask in awe.
“Very few. Only the most powerful Fae can do so, especially to large groups and without detection. Zeke was sent for a reason. Your father, King Azulian, knew what may be necessary. So, Zeke did what his wife asked of him. He found a way for both babes to live.” Thaliya seems to be winding down her tale, which really isn’t a tale at all, but the story of my past. My birth. My beginnings.
Know yourself, know your path.
Needing more time to process, I motion for her to pass back her flask and I gracefully finish off what remains. I wince as the liquid burns its way down my throat. The alcohol sloshing around my empty stomach reminds me I haven’t eaten in days. But this pain is slightly preferable to whatever the name of this new feeling I’m experiencing is .
I wipe my mouth with my sleeve and look back at Thaliya. My protector. The one, without my knowledge, whose been standing guard in a sense over me this whole time. She’s watched over me patiently with a look that tells me she’d wait a lifetime for me to understand. Perhaps she already has.
The last of the Fae royal line. I have a sister. I’ve been raised by a family of humans who are the very ones who are, in fact, my enemy.
Where does one go from here?
I’m about to be married off and sent alone into the world as a human, as a woman, as a bride who knows her place. When apparently, in fact, I’m none of these things. Another thought strikes me with the force of a final blow. My marriage to Avicii, our inability to bond, let alone have a child—no wonder. I don’t think a Fae has ever successfully bonded with a human. It just wouldn’t work.
All of this. Every bit of pain and confusion could have been better if I’d known. If Thaliya, my protector , had told me about my past. Instead, I learned of it from a traveling bard, albeit an absolutely gorgeous one who’s talented in many ways. One who knows more about my past than I myself do.
My world continues to spin upside down. Just when I think my feet are on solid ground, the ground shifts again and I’m left tumbling into darkness.
Thaliya is still patiently sitting, hands clasped in her lap, and seated on one of the many crates stuffed into this closet. I can't tell what she’s thinking as these truths swarm through my mind. But I realize I’m so upset that even her calm demeanor puts me further on edge.
So, I do the only thing I can do at this moment. My anger and confusion bubbles up and over my limit I’ve been holding in these past few days .
“All this time, you knew about me, all this time?” Fat tears fall from my eyes as soon as I let the words out. “What am I supposed to do with this information now? I’m thirty-five now! I’ve lived half my life! It’s too late to change.” My words tumble over each other, each question coming before I’m able to form it. Thaliya, to her credit, sits still and attentive, waiting with the same calm look on her face as it all comes out.
This does nothing to quell the anger still rising within. And now, it mixes with fear. I can't lose control. Avicii . My mind races; my breathing begins to come in quick gasps between sobs. I’ve lost complete control in a moment it's paramount I do not.
Just breathe. Thaliya’s voice is clear and low. But my head snaps up to her as I realize her voice sounded in my mind. She rests a palm firmly on my back, rubbing slowly between my shoulder blades. The movement is soothing, and before I know it, my breathing comes more smoothly and the tears, although still falling, have slowed.
“You’re upset. That is fair. This isn’t how we wanted you to find out. But what’s done is done, and perhaps it's time.”
A knock interrupts our conversation. “There you are. Sorry to interrupt. There’s been another raid, the victims are flooding in. We need all hands on deck.”
Both Thaliya and I rise as one to address the world outside our walls.