Chapter Thirty-One
N earing the great hall, the typical sounds of loud music and even more loud conversations don’t greet us. There’s no sign of anyone moving in and out of the great space.
“I thought we were running late. Where is everyone?” I look at Licia, but she’s as confused as I am.
“Late is a given with you, but I don’t—” She’s cut off as our brother storms toward us.
“We’re in the dining room.” Killian strides across the hall; his exasperation evident. “Didn’t you get the message? And yes, you’re both late.” And if he’s already this frustrated, I’m not looking forward to Father’s reaction. “King Sturdevant wanted a more intimate meeting with you, so naturally we rearranged some things.” With this explanation, he hurries us back toward the room he just exited. Licia’s surprise mirrors mine, and I try to get it under control before we walk through the double doors.
If Lysander Sturdevant requested a smaller audience and Father acquiesced, then there must be something more at play here. Before I can list the options, Licia and I are through the door with everyone turning our way. As we enter, everyone rises and Sturdevant moves to my chair, pulling it out for me and motioning me to sit beside him. His movements are practiced and graceful. He’s taller than he appeared from afar, and I have to tilt my head upward as I get closer. I give a small bow and smile in thanks but I can’t help but feel hurt when his tight smile matches the steel in his eyes. I know our first sighting of each other leaves much to be desired, but I hope we can mend the tear before it grows irreparable. Even if it is only for the next few days.
Quite the gentleman, which isn’t what I expected after our distant encounter, I sit and he smoothly pushes my chair in and returns to his seat. Licia, smirking, waits beside her chair until Gryphon reluctantly does the same for her. He makes a big show of the inconvenience until his mother, Jonaraja, coughs pointedly and he returns to his seat, quietly as if a young boy scolded. Licia beams and looks at her nails until the servants place steaming dishes of fish from the bay beyond the castle and vegetable stews and meat pies on the table.
“We are gathered here this evening to celebrate a great union of realms.” Father’s booming voice is too much for this small space. “Everguard and Etos, united in goals and power, will be unstoppable moving forward.” Father raises his glass to King Sturdevant, who sits beside him, majestic in his seat, and returns the motion.
After glasses clink in cheers, I watch as Gryphon not so subtly sizes Sturdevant up as he spoons large quantities from each of the plates around him onto his own. To his credit, Sturdevant pays him no mind. He focuses on the task at hand, cutting his meat into small and even sizes.
Father’s eye catches mine, a reminder I’m to be more prepared for this evening as my previous performance proved a failure. So, before Father and Killian can rope Sturdevant into conversations about lands and politics, I rake my mind for something—anything to begin.
Just as I open my mouth, a four-string strums from the other side of the room. I cough, suddenly choking on the food in my mouth. In between gasps, I follow the sound and I don’t know how I missed the musician set up right beside the entrance to the room, just over Gryphon and Licia’s shoulders. Thaddeus looks amused as he lazily strums chords to set the ambience for the evening meal.
His eyebrows raise slightly and he tilts his head in invitation to continue whatever I was about to say to the king beside me. But any conversation I could dream up dissolves on my tongue.
The tension growing between Sturdevant and me now has a name. And a very, very beautiful face. I can’t help but stare at the ease in which Thaddeus continues playing, uncaring of the scene unfolding before him as if his station is above us rather than the bard he plays at.
If he’s the very picture of ease, I’m the opposite. The room feels too small as I imagine the rest of the meal trying to get to know the king beside me while all I really want to do is get lost in the dreamy eyes and musical prowess of the man across the room.
I can feel Sturdevant’s gaze on me. I stare at my plate rather than meet his eyes. This dinner can’t get any worse.
Gryphon and Licia’s whispers from across the table only add to the weight of the room closing in. They speak so easily with one another, a language I once knew.
I take a deep breath, trying to calm my nerves and everything else swirling inside of me, and open my mouth, hoping something comes out.
“How do you find our mild winters, your grace? I would imagine it's a nice reprieve from further north.” The weather? I couldn’t do better than the weather? I take a large sip of the wine in front of me.
“The weather.” He looks at me, amused at my choice in topic. I can see his calculating effort as he traces his gaze from Thaddeus back to me. His amusement grows as I try not to shift in my seat at the discomfort. “Is a welcome change from Etos. However, I had hoped it would be warmer upon my arrival.”
I may have been living a married but solitary life up in the mountains; however, his meaning comes off plan and clear. I can’t decide which upsets me more—the fact I was caught with Thaddeus or his already tarnished image of me. But strangely, hurt blossoms in my chest. I do care what this man before me thinks of me, even if I have no intention of ever marrying him.
“My sister tells me you share her love of maps.” Licia presses her napkin delicately to her lips as she directs her comment toward King Sturdevant. I shoot daggers at her, but try to calm my features just as quickly. I haven’t even spoken to Sturdevant yet, how would I know something like this? How does she know something like this? I don’t know why I’m surprised, though. The way her birds flit about the castle, seeing and reporting all to her before much of the castle has heard even a whisper.
“Oh really?” Sturdevant turns toward me, his smile genuine and warm; my first impression not completely smudging his interest in me.
Killian joins in, which is uncharacteristic of him, but I suppose where maps are concerned, anything goes. “Yes. Rowandine and I would spend hours poring over maps of Everguard mostly, but sometimes the surrounding lands.”
“The library has a vast collection, your grace. I could show you sometime?” I venture, angling my body toward him, not only to show interest, but also so I don’t have to watch Thaddeus’ steady gaze as I attempt to win favor from this man who is a king, yet so unlike my father.
“What draws your attention, if I may ask?” Sturdevant goes back and forth between Killian and me.
“It’s a wonder someone has traveled so far and wide. Trekking over streams and mountains in order to track the topography. I fear I’m a little jealous of the adventure of it all.” A blush fills my cheek. Am I being too honest?
But his smile broadens as he replies, “I not only can appreciate your answer, I have to admit, I’ve had the same thought once or twice. We actually bring a mapmaker on all our excursions. Her skills are invaluable to our party. I’ll have to introduce you at some point.”
I tilt my head, thrown by how warm and kind he is. Everything he says is sincere.
“She’s being modest, your grace.” Killian, still excited to be conversing about one of his favorite topics, inserts his thoughts into the conversation. “She could practically chart terrain in her sleep. The way she plots routes, even for whole armies, is second to none.”
Pride gleams in his eyes as he says this as if he raised me himself. Which, in this case with our love of studying and charting terrain, he did. “Killian taught me everything he knows.” I nod in his direction, giving credit where credit is due.
After Licia’s brilliant parley, the conversation flows smoothly the entire evening. She effortlessly weaves Lysander Sturdevant and me together, masterfully painting me as an incredibly talented, incredibly desirable princess.
And for the evening, I almost forgot about the bard cooly staring daggers at me all throughout the meal. Almost.
“I think you made a good first impression,” Licia remarks as we make our way back to our end of the castle.
“I hope you’re right.” I don’t mention to her that it wasn’t in fact our first sighting of each other. But as far as conversation goes, it couldn’t have gone better. “How do you do that?”
“What?” She looks around trying to guess at what I mean.
“How do you make conversation so easily? You just glide right through it, like a skiff on water.”“Oh it’s just one of those things I’ve had to get good at along the way.”
“But you’ve always known how to talk to people. You always know the right thing to say.”
She shrugs as if it’s not a big deal. “I guess I use what I learn about the people around me. Draw them in with all the things I know about them, hang on their every word until they show me their whole world.” She gives me a knowing smile.
“You’ve made it into an artform.” I shake my head, knowing I’ll never come close to her ability to draw people in with conversation. I marvel at her gift and the way she’s able to spin her words into a web that catches every tiny detail.
We arrive at the staircase that takes us up to our rooms. I move to follow Licia’s ascent, but a shadow shifts across the open window. I pause, straining my eyes to make out why the light changed. Just as I decide I’m seeing things, someone grabs my wrist, pulling me toward the window in the alcove.
My thoughts are still on the kingly Sturdevant, but the touch is too familiar, too charged to be someone who’s so intentional.
“I couldn’t stand it.” His breath is warm across my neck as he nuzzles the sensitive part beneath my ear.
“Couldn't stand what?” I ask, matching his breathiness, although I know exactly what he’s referring to.
“From where I stood, the king had you hanging on his every word. It did things to me that twisted my insides.” Thaddeus pushes me into the wall, landing kisses down to my shoulder. “I wanted to jump onto the table and proclaim that you’re mine. And then splay you across the table and devour you, as everyone looked on.”
I stiffen in his grip. You are mine are words Avicii would say to me. A chill runs through me, and not in a good way.
He steps back, but leaves his hands resting on my hips. “I wouldn’t do it. If that’s what you're thinking. I know the king would have my head on a spike before I even finished my sentence for something like that.”
Before I can respond, Licia’s light steps backtrack down the stairs. “Roe? Did I lose you?”
A rustle beside my ear has me turning back to Thaddeus, but somehow he’s no longer beside me. I take a quick glance at the window before heading after Licia.