Chapter Forty-Five
A grunt and a shove startle me from sleep. “Princess Rowandine, is that you?”
Slowly, recognition dawns on me. I push myself up, apparently I fell asleep on the floor, right beside the locked bedroom door.
Which is now open.
Marlys’ gentle voice once again prods me, now fully awake, and my situation comes back in full force. Killian knows, or knew of my plan, at least some parts of it. He locked me in here and Baylor, “Stars! Baylor!” I sit up straight and look toward the windows where rays of sunlight stream through.
“Baylor lives.” Marlys is able to push the door open around me.
My entire body relaxes at her words. “But Killian said—”
“Yes, but I believe your opinion about how it would look to begin a wedding day with an execution, it got to him. Baylor is safe, at least for today.” She looks pointedly at me as if there’s something I can do for him in here. “Up and ready, child.” She gives a light kick to my side.
“What do you mean?”
“It’s your wedding day, isn’t it?” She smiles sadly down at me as she folds out the mirrors in front of the pedestal.
“Sturdevant didn’t call the whole thing off? Does he know?” Hesitancy in my voice, unsure how much Marlys knows.
The distance between Marlys’ ministrations and the open door is only a few strides, but it may as well be miles.
Do I dare make a run for it?
But all the fight has been sucked dry from me. There’s nothing left. This is all my doing to begin with. I just need to leave here and everyone will be better for it. And if Sturdevant will still have me, then that’s my only option.
“He only knows he’ll have a blushing bride come this afternoon. Killian shared nothing of what was spoken between you two last night. I’m not even sure he enlightened your father with what transpired.” Yet Marlys knows. Even the walls have ears in this castle, that’s what Licia and I always said about this place.
But that Killian kept this to himself surprises me. What is he playing at? The question plays through my mind as I rise to meet Marlys in front of the mirror.
“The floor did nothing for you, you know. You should’ve at least grabbed a pillow if your plan was to sleep in the doorway,” she scolds lightly.
“Spending the night pressed up against a locked door was not my first choice,” I begrudge, but even though it’s Marlys, I’m not sure if I should say more.
“You had plans to be gone, to be sure.” Startled at her blunt response, I watch her features for any hints of where she stands. She dips her head back to the work of removing last night’s dress and starting anew with tying up my corset, causing me to jolt and grab for the side of the mirror as she pulls it tighter and tighter .
“I couldn’t do it. I tried to get out, but I couldn’t.” Finally satisfied, she ties it off and moves to pull out my dress. I say to her back, watching her unbox the dress in the mirror’s reflection.
“Couldn’t? Or wouldn’t? Seems to me there’s a difference there that you would benefit from figuring out.” She looks pointedly over her shoulder before she pulls my dress from the box with a flourishing shake of her wrists.
The movement causes my gaze to travel up, which is when I notice another maid has joined us. Her saucer plate eyes tell me she’s surprised we’ve noticed her so soon, but she covers it up easily enough by stepping farther into the lighted part of the room and curtsying. “Beg your pardon, Princess Rowandine, but Prince Killian’s sent me to step in for Marlys.”
Marlys, for once, remains quiet as the young maid steps forward with her arms outstretched, ready for Marlys to hand her the dress. In one quick movement, Marlys hands it over, bows to dismiss herself, and steps away, all while the young maid continues to shake out the dress. “I’ll go tend to Princess Licia.” As Marlys steps around her with a barely contained fire behind her eyes, I wonder how much of our conversation was overheard.
Marlys leaves me alone with this child maid, quietly closing the door behind her.
As the mounds of fabric unfurl like a grand mast of a ship, the billowing layers of tulle and a bodice of sleek velvet begin to settle and take shape and redirect my attention. I hold my breath as the young girl holds it up to me.
Another white dress, another wedding. This one is so different, more elegant. Fit for a soon-to-be-queen of a faraway land.
She speaks first. “It’s a dream!” A smile stretches across her face as she gazes at our reflections. “A perfect dream. ”
Not my dream, is all I can think. Missing Marlys already and knowing this is not an appropriate response, I attempt to match her enthusiasm. “The beauty of the dress is unmatched. I’m unsure I’ll be able to do it justice.”
The young maid grabs a handful of tulle as well to help me step into the over-the-top gown.
“Oh you’ll make a beautiful bride, this match will be much more fitting,” she says, and then looks as if she’d like to swallow her words.
“What do you mean?” I keep my tone light, but I know there’s more to her comment.
“Oh everyone says so, Princess.” My opinion of the child is sinking as the minutes pass between us. “Prince Killian was speaking to his wife just this morning, saying how you’ll make your family a proud match this time around.” Meaning he knows I’ve already fallen so far and if I want to stay in Hadeon’s good graces, I can't mess up this time.
“And you certainly look the part, now.” She steps back so I can see my full reflection. Her hands are clasped at her chest as if an angel stands before her.
But viewing myself as a bride again does not reflect the excitement and hope I felt for my first marriage. I’ve lived through one marriage and come through worse for the wear. So now, in this ornate dress, all I see is dread. This dress does not belong to me, this life being thrust upon me, is not my own.
In this small amount of time, she’s also tamed my curls and left small sections of them cascading down my back. A small knot of them rest at the nape of my neck, causing my reflection to appear unfamiliar to me. The effect is striking, but I wish Marlys would have been able to stay because she knows what my preferences are. Maybe that’s why this young maid is here, because she knows King Sturdevant’s style. What use is my own opinion here? I don’t have one, and this is what my future holds.
There is no other way out of here. Killian has made it very clear what he and Father think of my leaving in any other way besides as a new bride and on a ship sailing west.
There’s no choice here, not really, despite what Marlys seems to think. It could be worse. Sturdevant doesn’t appear to be another Avicii. While his looks shout of masculinity, there’s more charm to him than brutishness. He shows an attentiveness that would melt the heart of any woman, but for some reason he doesn’t make my heart race nor flutter as it does when I’m with Thaddeus.
My heart remains my own.
So, with a heavy heart I nod approvingly to let this young girl with hearts in her eyes help me down from this pedestal and lead me forward to my impending marriage. All the while trying to puzzle another way out.
“Prince Killian will come to collect you when the king is ready,” she says, motioning for me to sit and hands me a cup of wine. “For your nerves, Princess. I’m sure you are all but jumping out of your own skin at the moment with excitement.” She turns then pulls a small key out of her pocket as she closes the door behind her.
Instantly, I lunge forward to stop her, but the wine in my hand slows me. The cunning child knew I’d instinctively try to save the dress. Too bad the hem is now soaked in a fine layer of red.
The clink of a lock being put into place fills the silence.
I attempt to sit but think better of it when the bones of the corset threaten to dig into my underarms. I give a silent cheers to the locked door before me and pour the rest of the wine over the layers of tulle while walking a circle around our sitting room, wondering where Licia was made to sleep last night, and if Marlys has found her.
A soft rap comes from the far end of the wall. I could slap myself for not thinking of it before, but in all honesty, between the pure exhaustion, surprise of how last night went, and the speed at which things are moving this morning, there wasn’t time.
Until now.
The passageways!
“Roe, help me with this, will you?” A shudder of relief goes through me as Gryphon’s muffled voice meets me at the passage doorway.
I tug and pull at the picture frame that guards our secret space. My mind moves quickly, planning our trek down the tower to where we’ll find Baylor. It’ll be so easy using the tunnels, if only I would’ve thought of it sooner.
But my relief is short lived. Nothing moves, even with Gryphon pushing from the inside. A sharp needle of dread pierces through me as realization sinks in.
“You don’t think—” Gryphon mumbles between grunts.
“I do. I think Killian knows. But how could he have figured out the passages as well?”
“He’s a king in training, Roe. I think it’s time you give him a little credit where credit is due. At least a little.”
“I should, especially knowing how his mind works. But I just didn’t want to see him as the one who would do this.”
“Ten years is a long time. A lots changed while you’ve been gone.” Gryphon, still fumbling on the other side of the wall, points out the obvious. “Don’t worry, we’ll get you out of there before it’s too late.”
“Gryphon,” my voice is low. “It’s too late. I’m in my wedding dress, Killian will be back any moment now.”
I can hear him still at my words, but he keeps his voice light as he responds, “It’s not over yet. We’re still working on it. This is just a small set back. Don’t give up yet. I’ll be right back.”
Before I can ask him to stay a moment longer, I hear his heavy footsteps moving quickly down the stone passage.
Alone again.
But am I? Gryphon’s still working to get me out, and it sounds like maybe Thaliya is helping.
Was it wrong to push them away?
I need to fix this.
And Thaddeus. Oh stars, Thaddeus.
Stepping onto the balcony is a small feat in the layers upon layers of tulle, but I manage. The way the sunlight reflects off the peaks far off in the east creates spears piercing the building clouds above. But the sun is making its way toward the highest point of the sky. The day is still young but my time is running out.
Could what Thaliya says be true? That way up in the foreboding peaks, Fae are waiting for their moment to return to Merula, to their land. That they’re rebuilding and waiting?
And that Thaliya, and so many others, know that the moment they’ve been waiting for is right now, with me—it’s more than I can bear. I’ve always been the passed over one, the youngest in a royal family full of bright personalities. Where not only was my future planned carefully and handed to me, I gladly accepted what was decided, with not even a thought to my feelings, how I truly felt or what I really wanted. That voice—the one that’s been whispering to me—sounds from deep within myself. Only this time, it’s louder, and sounds like me.
So, is it more than I can bear? Or is this just what I’ve been told all my life? That there’s no way I could want, let alone do, something as big as this.
And I remind myself this impossible situation is more than just me. And for my people, the ones who believe in something more—something good—I’ll keep trying, keep fighting. My newly manicured fingernails dig into the thick marble railings and within the stone, a small hum answers the rage I feel for the people of Everguard. For my people.