Chapter 10
Chapter Ten
“I’m sorry,” he blurted. “I wanted to talk but I wasn’t sure when you were going to finish with—”
“Your grandmother?” I supplied.
He cleared his throat and a snap of his fingers lit the candle. “Yeah. Is your mom okay?”
“No.” Honesty. I’d give him honesty.
If we couldn’t salvage this, at least I’d know I tried.
He was perfect in this light. A rich glow illuminated every strand of hair and the curve of his ears. When was the last time we were alone? Before our time travel? During?
Our awkward time in the twin bed at Poppy’s cabin, three hundred years ago, flashed across my memories.
He pities me.
Air constricted in the tent, disappeared, skimming inside my lungs. Skin prickled. Nerves lit.
Mike cleared his throat. “I can leave if this is awkward for you.”
“Don’t leave.”
If this was the hit I expected, the one where he told me I was too much, too weak, too strong, to be his partner, I’d take the blow. Get it over with.
I forced one foot in front of the other and perched on the opposite end of the bed, kicking off my shoes. I hadn’t showered in weeks. A small quick brush of power cleaned my skin superficially, fluffed my hair free of oil and scrubbed my teeth, but a thin film remained behind regardless.
Ducking behind my hair to hide my scar, I waited.
Mike hated my mating scar.
He rarely looked at me anymore unless it was to ask if I was okay, seeing me frail and tender and ready to drop. When he did, the looks stayed brief. Impersonal.
He sat beside me. “How are you now?”
“Better than I was. The death curse is gone.” I pried off my socks and sprawled on my back, breathing in deeply and still not getting enough air.
Mike was too close. His scent permeated the tent with a depth I’d missed.
And when he mimicked my posture, when he dropped beside me with our arms pressed together, my awareness deepened. The mattress was large enough to fit two people comfortably but…
“I never would have let you rot in a jail cell, Tavi. You know it,” he said at last.
“It was hard to think about when I was down there.”
Love-ville. My grandson loves you. What did Poppy know?
Mike sniffed. “You have no idea what it did to me, to all of us, knowing you were down there and we had to wait.”
“Melia wasn’t going to let you put a foot out of line until the plan came to fruition, was she?”
“You know Melia. She has a vision in her head.”
“And luckily it always turns out.” I turn to face him. “You were a part of stealing all your father’s magic. What does it mean for the kingdom?”
Mike kept his attention trained on the tent ceiling. “It means we’re both enemies of the monarchy and the kingdom’s most wanted. It means traveling to fix the consequences of your magic being unlocked. You haven’t heard, but strange things have happened in the weeks since then.”
“It’s going to be dangerous.”
His index finger brushed against mine. “Since when do we ever take the safe route?”
“Absolutely never. I don’t know how to be safe. Safe sounds boring, doesn’t it?”
“You’re not going to be alone. I’ll be with you every step of the way.”
“If you can stand to look at me,” I said. Blame it on the exhaustion. Blame it on the frayed nerves and the edginess permeating every fiber of my being. “You don’t have to come. This is your out if you want it, Mike. An easy out with no hard feelings.”
Please. Don’t cry.
Mike paused, silence stretching, a muscle feathering in his jaw. “Is that what you think?”
“It’s what I know. You barely tolerate being in my immediate vicinity anymore. I disgust you. You’ve done what you assumed you had to do and now you’re free. You can go back to your own tent and we’ll call it fair.”
It took effort not to brush my finger against the scar, and I jolted when Mike rolled over to balance on his elbow and stare down hard at me.
“This is my tent. And your scar doesn’t bother me.” His voice hardened. “Your mate bond doesn’t bother me either because it’s nothing but a lie. It’s not real.”
“It’s real enough. I feel Kendrick in my soul. He’s there, watching. Lurking,” I argued for the sake of arguing.
Because Mike was looking at me without fear or hesitation and it was suddenly too much.
“It’s not the same as what we have,” Mike insisted. “I love you.”
Had he ever said it before? I couldn’t remember. I couldn’t think of much with him looking at me and warmth finally permeating my veins again.
Why wasn’t he taking the out? Why wasn’t he leaving the way I knew he wanted to?
“We’re not mates.”
A part of me shrank, constricting smaller and smaller.
“Who says we aren’t? Your wolf pack? My father? We don’t need permission from anyone to be whatever we want to be. You’re being stubborn.”
I turned to him, mirroring his posture. “You want to be my mate?”
“I want to be whatever you want me to be as long as we’re together.” To prove it, he draped his hand over my neck, his thumb on my pulse.
His magic brushed mine, tangled together, looping tighter than a petrified morsana wand. A sense of rightness stole over me, and for a brief moment of respite, I wasn’t worried about Livvy, or Dorian.
“You say so now but you don’t know what the future’s going to hold for us,” I say. “You don’t know how you’re going to feel in a week, or in a month.”
It was too painful to talk about years.
Because I wanted it. Badly.
I wanted years with Mike to get to know him on every imaginable level. Despite our ups and downs, I respected him. He was always willing to jump into the fray, and boy, did I always make a mess of things.
Frays followed me like some people had good luck.
He caressed the scar on my neck, the deep groove from Kendrick Grimaldi during his forced mating ceremony.
“You really still feel him?” Mike’s tone softened. “In your soul?”
“It’s not as bad as it was at first. I think my new magic is what’s keeping him at bay. But the scar—”
Mike shifted closer. “The scar is nothing, Tavi. I mean, sure, it’s there, and it’s always going to be there. But what can we do about it? It doesn’t define you and it doesn't make you any less of a badass. If anything, it makes you more of a badass.”
“It’s a reminder of him. It sickens you.”
Mike arched his brow. “Really?”
“You haven’t been able to stand to look at me, let alone touch me.”
A smile crested and crashed. “I’m touching you right now.”
He pressed a soft kiss to the tip of my nose and my stomach dropped.
“I’ve wanted to touch you this entire time but I wasn’t sure how you’d feel about me or if you’d even want it. I’ve been dying to touch you.”
“How I’d feel about you?” Surprise colored the words. A ragged laugh pushed free. “Nothing’s changed for me. It’s always been you, Mike. Through every lie and every shitstorm, you’ve been there.”
“So why do you think my feelings would change, if yours haven’t? It doesn't matter what we’ve survived. It’s brought us here and we’re stronger now.”
I didn’t feel strong. I felt safe, and sure, but not strong.
“I’m sorry if I gave you the impression my feelings had changed, Tavi.
” He lifted his eyes to meet mine and I held my breath.
“I didn’t know how to act. You were so fragile to me.
Like one wrong move would shatter you and I couldn’t stand to know I did it.
So I tried to distance myself to keep you safe. ”
My forehead furrowed into lines. “You should have told me.”
“Yeah, well, communication is tough, isn’t it? It sure doesn’t come naturally to me. You know who my father is.”
“The same father currently hunting us. He’s always hated me.”
Mike shook his head. “It’s not hate. It’s fear.”
I shrugged. “Looks the same to me.”
Mike brought my leg up over his with his free hand to get me closer. “You’re not in this alone.” His breath caressed my skin, brushing over my face. He was everywhere. “I’ll be with you every step of the way.”
“Repeating it doesn’t give me more confidence. I don’t know where to start.”
“I’ve got a great idea how to start.”
With his hand still on my neck, he angled my face up and kissed me. He stole my air and swallowed it, replacing it with his.
His tongue glided along the seam of my lips until I opened for him, and when I did, I melted. The last of my hesitations disappeared. Mike’s scent spun my head against the anchor of his hands.
“Tavi.” He whispered against my mouth. “I love you. I love you.”
HIs gravelly tone spun my head.
Mike dragged his hand up from my knee and caught me around the waist. I let him take control. His kiss turned hard, his lips a punishing reminder of what happened when I doubted him.
The mate bond didn’t matter. Not when Mike took possession of me and I wrapped my arms around his neck.
He angled, hoisting himself on top, my knees around his hips. My pulse spiked and my heart pounded out an erratic rhythm.
Everywhere he touched left a tingle of awareness behind, an expectation twisting my heart.
I groaned against his lips, my fingers tangling in his hair to knot the strands. “Someone is going to hear us.”
“So? Let them hear. I don’t care anymore.”
He laughed at my surprise before kissing me hungrily. And suddenly I didn’t care either. If the rest of the camp heard, well, what did it matter?
We might not get another chance to be together this way.
If we were all going to die before the end of this fight, I wanted to have this moment with Mike, to go out with the feeling of him on my body.
I fumbled for his pants. I was too eager, too hasty to have him. The voice in my head said to go slow and to savor the moment of togetherness but my body had different ideas.
“Such a bad little halfling,” Mike growled. “Doubting me. Doubting us.”
I groaned against his lips, my fingers tangling in his hair to knot the strands. “I won’t again.”
He nipped his way up to my earlobe. Heat pooled low in my abdomen and between my legs.
“Who knew pureblooded Fae princes could be so sadistic,” I whispered. “You’re tormenting me.” He has been.