Chapter 22
There were two sides to me: the confident, righteous King Jakzair, and then there was Jack, the village idiot.
Why hadn’t I picked a better moment to say something to her?
Directly after we fucked for the first time, wasn’t it.
I didn’t want to tell her like this, but honestly, how else should I have seen this playing out?
If I had rushed into saying I had limited time in this realm, she’d have questioned my motives.
Then again, keeping it from her was bound to have consequences. Fuck.
After inhaling a deep, calming breath, I rubbed my knuckles, willing the ice to melt from them.
Sylvie kept a hand on my arm so that we could stay in the hot spring, naked and satiated.
Lifting my eyes to hers, I raised my chin and bit the bullet.
“Every winter solstice, I’m granted time away from my kingdom to search for my mate.
The portal that opens is always to somewhere fatedly chosen at random. ”
“This time—it brought you to the Cove? You hadn’t been here before that?” Sylvie’s wings fanned slowly, mimicking her gradual understanding.
“That’s right.” Inching closer, I cupped her face with both hands, urging her to keep looking at me, to understand. “But I can’t stay away from my kingdom for long. There’s always a time limit.”
The skin between Sylvie’s eyes wrinkled, her bottom lip quivering as if she tried to find the right words to respond to this. “What are you trying to say?”
“I only have two more days, Sylvie.” It was like an ice spike driving through my insides from the heart down. Rushing her had never been my intention, and I loathed myself for the perplexed, hurt look on her face now.
Sylvie turned away, her hand dropping from my shoulder. “Two days?”
I wanted to tighten my grip on her face, to keep her in place so we could talk this through, but knew she needed to process it.
“Yes. I need to be with my mate fully before I return and am allowed no additional time.” The icy barbs edged over my knuckles, knowing this clause hadn’t always been the case. Deidre was to blame for that.
It didn’t take long for the heat to start boiling my insides, but I ignored it the best I could, letting the sweat beads pool on my skin. Where Sylvie was, I was, and that meant staying in the hot spring no matter how unbearable it became.
“And if you don’t? Do you get the next solstice to find another mate?” Sylvie kept her back to me, her arms wrapping around herself and covering her breasts.
Sweat dripped from my upper lip, melting the beast’s icy beard from my chin. “I have no other mate, Sylvaria. If I return without our bond in place, then every winter becomes simply a break from my duties as king.”
“There has to be more to it,” she said, almost haughtily. Sylvie turned, sending erratic ripples in the milky waters. “Tell me everything. Because what I’m hearing is that you held this from me until the last minute so that I’d feel guilty if I didn’t agree to it.”
Questioning my motives. Even suspecting it couldn’t prepare me for the harsh reality.
A sharp pain stung at the base of my neck. “That wasn’t my intention. I didn’t tell you in the beginning because I didn’t want you to pity me. To potentially choose it only because of the timeline.” My vision sporadically blurred, the sweat pooling through my hair now, melting the ice there too.
“You should have given me the choice, Jack.” Sylvie’s lips tightened, her wings and ears drooping. Sloshing through the water, she lifted a shaking hand and rested it lightly on my arm, allowing me instant, cool relief.
Letting out a rolling sigh, I resisted hugging her against me to bask in more of her winter’s chill. “If I don’t return with the bond settled, then I’m destined to live the rest of my life alone. But I’d happily do it, Sylvie, if this isn’t something you want.”
Tears welled in Sylvie’s eyes, and she slammed her forehead against my chest. She sniffled several times, lightly punched my stomach, and let her shoulders slump. “Damn you. I like you, Jack. I do want you. Everything in me screams for you.”
Gently stroking her hair, I held her because I really wasn’t sure what else to do. “Then what’s holding you back?”
“So little and yet so much,” she whispered, scooting closer until our bodies pressed against each other.
“I have two days. Take tomorrow and think about it. But please don’t let my outcome sway you into a future you can’t see yourself in.
I’ve spent centuries alone. What’s a few more, hm?
” I’d meant every word of it, but the thought of enduring even the time until the next solstice without her by my side had nausea curdling my stomach.
“I appreciate you thinking of me like that, and I’m going to take you up on it if only to clear my head. Not surprisingly—” Sylvie leaned back, a weakened smile poised on her lips. “—but you’re a hell of a distraction.” Her eyes roamed my face. “What happened to the ice?”
“If you think I’m not a fan of the heat, my creature is far worse.” Pinching her chin between thumb and forefinger, I pressed a light kiss to her mouth.
Sylvie licked my taste from her lips, her gaze still hooded from our escapades. “Before I painstakingly take my leave of you to think on all of this, I have one question.”
“What is it?”
“Those creatures that attacked us—”
And here I hoped she’d forgotten all about them.
“Frost goblins,” I offered.
“Sure, yes, the frost goblins. Is that sort of thing normal for you? Should I expect to be fending them off once a week? Every fortnight?”
Despite the disturbing possibility that Sylvie could say no to our bond, I still managed to chuckle. I never found anything adorable, but the way Sylvie squinted one eye and the little tilts of her eyebrows made when she became nervous were the most adorable things I’d ever seen.
“They’re not normal, no. The only place they reside is on the outskirts of my kingdom, where all citizens are prohibited from going due to its dangers. They’ve never made it past the walls, let alone into the castle.”
Sylvie nodded, her wings perking up. “And yet they made it here?”
Deidre. I still hadn’t told her about the fucking Snow Queen, but she’d never even have to meet her, would never have to know she existed, if I simply held onto my crown with Sylvie as my queen.
“I’m not the only magical entity in the realm, but I am the most powerful. The goblins were clearly sent as a distraction.”
“From what?” Sylvie’s violet eyes widened.
Igniting an icy hot vibrance in my gaze, I replied, “From you.”
“There are people who don’t want to see you mated, aren’t there?” Sylvie rested a hand on my chest, pulsing more chilly magic into my bones.
My mate was so damn intuitive.
“There will always be those, no matter how much power you have, who wish to see you fall just because it makes them feel better. They know I’m powerful and with a mate?” I wrapped a hand around her hip. “Tenfold. As you would be.”
Sylvie let her bottom lip roll between her teeth. “Arcane Cove has been the first place I’ve truly felt at home, Jack. I feel settled, and now you’re asking me to uproot my life again. I’m happy here.”
This was making me far more nervous than I could have predicted. I have always been confident, steadfast, and sure of my actions. The actual fear that someone might not choose me, that my fate lay solely in their hands, knocked my world off its axis.
Norway. She’d mentioned living in Norway all her life before here. My kingdom appeared as if plucked from modern Scandinavia.
“Understandable, but you must miss something about Norway. It’s a beautiful country.”
Sylvie’s amethyst eyes lit up. “It is. I do miss the mountains, the half-frozen waterfalls in the winter, and don’t get me started on the northern lights.”
There went that hope springing in my stomach again.
“My kingdom has all of those things, and it’s perpetually winter. Constant half-frozen waterfalls and the colors of the aurora borealis never abandon the skies.” Tracing my thumbs down her neck, I searched her unreadable expression, and it damn near drove me mad.
“That sounds amazing,” she whispered, her hands squeezing my biceps.
“You were meant for more in this celestial life, faerie. You said it yourself, your own people cast you out because you were different from them. Did you ever stop to think why that was?”
For every moment I thought I gained more of her favor, there were another three moments I could see her drifting away. A constant battle raged in her mind, and I was running out of ammunition.
“I have, but then the Cove found me. The bakery found me. And these people, Jack?” Sylvie lifted her gaze to mine, her grip tightening on my arms. “They have done everything but cast me out. They’ve welcomed me with open arms.”
From her words and the strain in her voice, it was almost as if she was trying to decipher if, when the time came, she’d be able to say goodbye to them. Was that what this was all about?
“Sylv, from the way you’re talking, it’s as if you’d never see this place or your friends again.” I brushed my fingertips across her cheek.
Sylvie blinked, the skin beneath her eyes crinkling. “I figured I’d have to move to your kingdom. Wouldn’t I?”
Winter’s fucking blessing, that was what this was all about. If this had been all it took, I would’ve reassured her of this days ago.
Chuckling, I gave her lips a quick peck. “Yes, you’d be queen and my mate, but you’d always have access to come back here. Fuck, I wouldn’t care if you wanted to pull double duty and still work at the bakery from time to time.”
My heart sank when her reaction wasn’t as elated as I’d expected.
“I really thought—” She started, but trailed off. Intrigue played majestically in her eyes for a brief moment before sadness and uncertainty won, her gaze falling. “Give me until sundown tomorrow. Is that alright?”
The creature stirred at the mention of a delay, punching at my skull.
“Of course. I’d say to take as much time as you needed, but—”
Sylvie pressed a hand to my cheek. “I know, Frosty.”
I swear they could have written hymns about her smile.
We’d crawled from the pool, conjuring clothes for ourselves and sharing last-minute, fleeting kisses before she rode away on Fintan.
Nanok emerged from the thick of the forest. I didn’t hesitate to lean on him, putting all of my weight on him because I was tired of carrying it all myself.
Sylvie was free to choose as she pleased, and I’d respect it, but I’d be lying through my frozen heart if I said I didn’t yearn for her to choose us.