I Want The Entire Buffet
I WANT THE ENTIRE BUFFET
SYDNEY
Licking my lips nervously, I stare at the bathroom door. I know once I open it, things will change somehow. I’m not sure why I feel that way, but the notion has settled deeply in my guts as I soaked away the aches from earlier. My mind is arguing with my heart and body—something that hasn’t happened in the past. I don’t know if that’s healing or just a natural progression of aging that I’d fobbed off for the past four years. Either way, it’s unsettling and a lot like standing at the edge of a cliff to look down.
I’m terrified of free-falling to my doom.
The carefully crafted image of Sydney Jolie I’ve maintained since my father’s death is not scared of shit like this. She scoffs at it and at people who are terrified of it. Relying on others only leads to betrayal and pain; my father taught me that over and over during my life. People leave and you’re devastated; it’s an absolute in life.
But I’m tied to these men, two of whom I do trust, and it’s not just by selection. This team is inexorably connected to surviving these fucking Games. If I cannot allow them to get close enough to anticipate things, to know me, I’ll put all of our safety in peril. That’s not a smart move, nor is it going to make anything easier. The small steps I’ve taken in the past weeks are making a difference—they were right—and to continue working towards our shared goal, that has to continue.
“You are stronger than you think, Sydney,” I murmur softly. “They are not the men you’ve seen in the camps, nor are they your father. If nothing else, the newer members of the team want to live, and to do so, they have to keep their word. Trusting in their instinct for self-preservation isn’t na?ve; it’s logical.”
My brain knows this, but my heart isn’t done fighting for protection, obviously.
I swallow hard, looking down at the loose tank top and sweats I put on, then over at the mirror to see my long hair unbound on my shoulders. Not braiding it is a sign that I’m trying to let them in—I am pulling off the hardened mask I wear in public. This is the side of me I refuse to allow others to know—a woman whose entire world has been upended so many times I can’t find solid ground. This version of me is in the middle of redefining herself to reflect the tumultuous revelations about my powers, the world, my father, and everything in between that being picked for this event has wrought.
Sucking in a slow breath through my nose, I put my hand on the doorknob and twist. My mind is repeating the mantra of ‘you can do this’ and my skin is prickling with anticipation. The way I respond to all of them is insane; it’s like an electric wire is sparking inside of me, especially when they touch me. I don’t know if that’s normal for attraction or if it’s something else because, in a low-level way, I think it’s how I reacted to Thad and Huck when we first met. But I locked that down with my vow to ignore the body as a currency atmosphere many supes my age were adopting. Nothing the humans could give me was worth that compromise—for me—and I shut down my reactions completely to avoid it.
When I walk into the hallway, the suite is quiet. The lighting is dimmed, and my feet dig into the soft pile of the carpet as I pad through the kitchen to the living area. My eyes widen as I see all the work they’ve put into making the space look welcoming and comfortable. Candles, pillows, blankets, cushions… everything is on the floor, including trays of food and drinks that are close to each of them as they watch the muted TV. My appearance gets their attention without fail, and I bite my lip as I give them a nervous smile.
“Um, this is… really… nice,” I say, feeling shyness overcome me as emotions riot inside my chest. “I didn’t think you’d do so much work.”
Rory grins at me, his expression pleased as his eyes move up and down my frame. “Vicious, you look positively radiant. Come over here so we can help you get even more relaxed. You’re going to love it.”
Anxiety rockets through me, but the expressions on Huck and Thad’s faces help me push my limbs to move onto the big pallet they’ve constructed. I lower myself down in the center, where it’s obvious I’m supposed to sit. The mage quickly shifts pillows until I’m propped up, and I watch them move in concert to surround me with just enough space to make sure I’m not being crowded. That graceful dance confirms my mind’s insistence that allowing them access to the real me will help us form a better team, and I sigh softly as some of the tension seeps out of me.
I wasn’t just fooling myself; they really are working together.
“We have an extensive selection of finger foods, so it’s easy to munch while we work,” Thad says as he puts his enormous hands on my shoulders gently. He pauses, giving me time to protest, and when I don’t, another sliver of worry fades from the atmosphere of the room. “I’ll work on your shoulders with this stuff from your beauty baskets, and Huck will help you with that.”
My eyes widen and I have to swallow past a lump in my throat when I realize that means the demon is going to feed me. He’s smirking at me fondly, but it’s not in a creepy way. I nod my consent to them, and Thad lifts his hands again to deal with whatever weird cream he’s going to use. I watch as the other three wait, curious what they’re going to do while my two friends pamper me.
“I’m gonna work on your feet, Vicious. It’s one of my tier-one skills, and that’s not because I have a fetish or anything. I’m just fantastic at it,” Rory says, as he scoots down while keeping his eyes on my face. “You’ll love it; I promise.”
“Okay,” I murmur as he picks up one foot. “I mean, you guys don’t have to?—”
Huck leans in with a piece of fruit, smiling that adorable down home grin that makes him damn near irresistible. “Sweet pea, no one is forcing us to do anything. We want to take care of you an’ believe you me, we want you to want it, too. So tell us if anything is bothersome, and don’t be shy about sayin’ what makes you feel good, either.”
How does that honeyed voice always activate the calming sensors in my brain? It’s fucking magic.
“In fact, I particularly enjoy sounds that tell me what feels good,” Sebastian says as he lounges in the spot between Huck and Rory. “I bet the dragon does as well.”
“Very much.”
Elias’s quiet agreement, so typically succinct, is a balm on my nerves. Knowing that they’re all behaving exactly as I would expect, without changing who they are, is more evidence that they are willingly doing this stuff. This isn’t just a feint or a trick—they mean it when they say they’re all happy to be here with me. That helps me relax a little more, and Thad rumbles happily behind me as he kneads my tight shoulders.
“That’s perfect, Syd. Relax, so I can get all these knots out for you.”
I finish chewing the fruit Huck placed against my lips, then feel my face heat as the guys who can see me chewing stare. “Did I do something weird?”
“No,” Rory says with a chuckle. His thumb digs into my arch and a straight-up moan escapes my mouth before I can stop it. He ducks his head, hiding his expression, but I can see the others as their faces go from soft to intense in a blink. “Damn, Vicious.”
“Sorry,” I mutter, then drop my gaze to my hands in my lap, not able to look at them when they’re staring at me that way. “That, uh, was good.”
“No shit,” Sebastian grumbles as I feel him moving next to me. “If we couldn’t tell that, they should send us all back to the factory to be reset.”
Damn him for making me even more self-conscious without being mean; now I can’t snark at him.
Thad leans in, his lips against my ear as he continues massaging my shoulders skillfully. “It’s okay to feel good, Syd. I know you’ve been fighting it, fighting happiness for a long time. But even in the darkest times, we’re allowed to find joy and peace. That doesn’t make us bad people.”
“Good point, my ursine friend,” Huck says as he holds up a piece of cheese. I accept it, my eyes fluttering at how tasty it is, and he groans. “Look at how well you’re adaptin’, sweet pea. You didn’t even look like you were going to bite my finger off this time.”
His praise does funny things to my stomach and I scowl at my hands. I don’t need dudes to tell me what I’m doing well at; I’m perfectly able to gauge my skill sets. But even as I frown at the weird sensations, the rest of my body disavows that thought. Hearing Huck’s sweet twang compliment me has my nerve endings firing and the heat in my face racing down my torso to blossom in places that aren’t normally this involved. I swallow the cheese and lick my suddenly dry lips, realizing how thirsty I am suddenly.
“What can I give you, little rebel? I sense you need a drink. We have water, juice, and soda.”
Turning to look at Elias, I force myself to meet his gaze. It’s still intense, but there’s a determined softness to it that immediately helps me accept his offer. “Water for now, please.”
The dragon brings a cup to my mouth, tipping it enough for me to get a cool drink of icy water. I take one more, then nod, so he pulls it back. His pleased expression makes me shiver, and I’m about to say something when Rory unlocks another groan of pleasure as he wrings my toes between his fingers. I’ve never enjoyed someone touching my feet as much as this, and I have no idea how he’s doing it. He wasn’t just bragging; he’s a goddamn master at foot massages as far as I know.
“Your face when you make that sound is delicious ,” Sebastian says with a languid smile. “It’s enough to launch ships, and I have no idea how these two have managed for four years.”
Huck chuckles, bringing a piece of meat to my lips that keeps me from shooting back at the vampire. Once I take the bite—which is insanely good—he responds. “It wasn’t like we had a choice, bloodsucker. Our girl here wasn’t ready to share and now, I believe, she’s in a place where sharing is workin’ out very well for her.”
Oh. My. Goddess.
I know my face is flaming and I can’t stop it. Hopefully, they can’t see it so well in the candlelight, but my entire body is rapidly following suit. I’m flushed and warm, but also feeling comfortable and safe in a way I haven’t in—-my entire life, maybe. It was their goal, I’m sure, but as Thad and Rory continue making my muscles go from knotted to puddles of goo, I can’t control the rest of me. Everything they’re doing and saying works together to melt my mind and body in ways I couldn’t have imagined on my own.
“Is that true, Sydney?” The vampire looks at me, his red eyes boring into mine as he queries me. “Are you accepting the benefits of sharing our abilities in non-Games related ways? Is it making you feel good enough to melt in place?”
I have no idea how I’m going to answer that without revealing the truth—I’m almost melted as it is.