Chapter Forty #2
Turning within the circle of his arms, she wrapped her arms around him and pressed against him. Fitting her mouth to his, she parted her lips to slide her tongue into his mouth, flicking at the edge of his teeth. “Kiss me fully, Phin,” she commanded softly.
He did.
Opening his mouth, he thrust his tongue past her lips and took possession of her. Holding her head in his hand and gripping firmly around her waist, he devoured her with his kiss. Inhaling her catching sighs, swallowing her throaty moans.
She melted.
Her body tingled in its transformation from solid being to a formless essence of hunger and yearning and love for this man who had opened an entire world to her. Her hands fisted in the material of his coat. She was not going to let him go. Not now. Not ever.
She pulled her head back, just enough to break the kiss. He allowed it, but held her there, with their lips hovering close. His bright blue-green eyes opened to pierce her with fire and life.
Eleanor took a shaking breath and muttered the only thing she could think of to satisfy the need inside her. “Marry me.”
His entire body tensed. His arms tightened. His jaw clenched and his eyes narrowed to fierce slits in the darkness.
“Eleanor…” His voice was weighted and thick with desire and raw emotion.
She pressed herself closer to him as a panic unlike any she’d ever felt before began to spread from her core.
What if he didn’t want her?
What if she wasn’t enough?
What if she bared her soul and he left her anyway?
It was too late to worry about any of that. She only had one way forward.
“I love you,” she blurted. Light flashed in his eyes, but she continued quickly, not wanting him to reply just yet.
“I love your voice and your smile and your compassion. I love your fearless confidence and your hunger for life. I love how you make me feel safe. And alive. I love how you see me. How you know me.” She lifted a hand to the side of his face.
“I love that you think me brave. And beautiful.” Her cheeks warmed.
He made a rough sound in his throat.
“There is a way to make this work, Phin, if you…want me, too. If you think you could love me… You don’t have to leave me behind to explore the world. I—”
“Stop, Eleanor,” he muttered gruffly. “Please.”
She did, but only because words were starting to fail her as tears clogged her throat.
She’d said everything she could think to say to convince him.
If he didn’t love her back, there would be nothing more she could do.
She had to preserve at least enough pride to enable her to walk away, if she needed to.
*
Overwhelmed, Phin filled his lungs with air and let it out slowly. He didn’t want to do or say anything to mess this up.
“I love you,” he finally murmured and instantly felt a ripple of relief go through her body.
He smiled. “And you’re absolutely right.
I could not imagine going a day without seeing you, let alone months or years.
I wouldn’t survive it,” he admitted with a rough chuckle.
“I’ve had adventures enough to last a lifetime.
It’s probably time to put such things behind me.
Settling into marriage could be quite an adventure in itself, I imagine. ”
She pulled back in his arms, forcing him to meet her gaze. There was gentle furrow above her brows and that determined glint in her eye.
“No.”
Her denial was spoken quietly, but firmly.
Confused and suddenly fearful that he’d misunderstood her, he asked, “No?”
She nodded. “No.”
He tilted his head and arched a brow. “You’re going to have to explain what you’re objecting to. Since you just proposed to me, it can’t be the mention of marriage—”
“It’s not,” she interrupted with a shake of her head before she sighed and gave him a heart-stopping smile. “I’d love to marry you.”
“Good,” Phin replied with a nervous chuckle. “You had me worried.”
“I’m sorry. It’s all the rest of it that I object to.” She brushed her thumb along his jaw. “I will not have you giving up something you love so much. I want you to go on as many adventures, to as many places, for as long as you desire.”
“But, Eleanor—” he began, but she stopped him with the press of her thumb to his lips.
“And I intend to go with you.”
Understanding hit him like a brick wall.
Her words immediately inspired visions of the two of them riding camels through the deserts of Egypt, camping in tents under foreign stars, exploring jungles and mountains and far-away cities.
His heart raced with a rush of elated anticipation.
Having an opportunity to show her the world and share all his favorite things… It would be simply amazing.
But then he thought of the potential dangers and everything she’d have to leave behind and his excitement dimmed.
“There are a great many risks and perils in such a life. I failed to protect you once…” He couldn’t finish as his stomach tightened with the recollection of how it had felt when he’d discovered Ackerly had managed to take her.
“And then you came to my rescue,” she noted firmly. She lifted her chin. “You’ve said I am brave. I’d like the opportunity to prove that to myself.”
He could see the intent in her eyes, hear the purpose in her voice. He already knew he couldn’t deny her anything.
“Are you certain?” he asked. “What of your family? Your life in England?”
She shrugged and smiled. “I’ve never really fit in here.
And I’ve come to see myself differently since I met you.
I’ve come to believe myself capable of more than what I could be here.
I want to expand my experiences, Phin. I want to reach beyond limitations and learn and know.
” She shook her head. “Does that make any sense?”
Phin couldn’t keep himself from grinning like a fool. “It makes perfect sense, my love. And I can’t wait. For all of it.”
She gave him a shy sort of look from beneath her sooty lashes. “Does that mean you accept my proposal?”
He laughed and took her mouth in a fierce, claiming kiss. It was another couple minutes before he paused to catch his breath and reply with a graveled promise.
“Yes. A thousand times and in every lifetime, I will marry you.”